AN: ... Another series.

~dodges bricks~

This one is going to be light-hearted and cute by contrast to everything else I write, and because Soul Eater (anime and manga) is obviously not done at the time of my starting this, I'm going to make it as time-neutral as possible. I'll probably fail, but such is life.

Anyway, Soul and Maka are my OTP forever, and I realized I've done nothing to celebrate this, so here we are. It's T+ for the obvious reason of teenagers in a relationship. SHIELD YOUR EYES, KIDDIES.

(PDA stands for Public Display of Affection, if you didn't know. That's... kind of important.)

Soul Eater Evans was content to liken the past few weeks to the mechanized, smoke-spewing monstrosities of public transit, the chugging metal beasts with tracks that stood out against the countryside like the scar on his chest. Most people called them trains - he called them crap. But that was beside the point, because despite his best efforts, there was no better simile to be found for his current situation. (He didn't have the book smarts it took to whip something more creative up, anyway, so he settled for the trains.)

In the beginning, there were regular days, with only the vaguest of "leaving the station" vibes to be detected; he remembered squinting at his meister every so often, wondering if there was something different, but that was the extent of the change. It was, as loosely as the term applied to their hectic lives, relatively normal. Yes, the initial change had started out simply enough, as most huge catastrophes did - it was like how it went in the movies, where the ship is bobbing up and down in the ocean, and someone says the sky is lookin' a little grey here, Cap'n, and then BAM!, one scene change later they're all dead from a tidal wave, and the camera pans out to reveal all the splintered ship parts, and audience left wondering wait, what? (Another simile; maybe Soul was smarter than he thought.)

Time did its job and rolled on, and the train that had become their lives gradually sped up. Before Soul knew it, they were at a constant speed; it was like finally looking out the window and seeing the scenery go by in a blur. He could remember how he'd got his glimpse out of the window, because he and Maka had been arguing, and suddenly they were making out. Just like that. It was kind of amazing in its own terrible, irreversible, eye-opening, and completely unromantic way. Then he tripped over the coffee table, and the trance was broken just as fast as it had started. After five minutes of beating him with a rolled-up magazine and calling him a pervert and a sexual deviant, Maka had finally calmed herself down, and they sat on the couch and talked about it.

That was seriously how they decided on starting an actual intimate relationship. Tension rose past the breaking point, the pot boiled over, the tea pot whistled, et cetera. It was minimally mushy, and minimally romantic, and minimally cute, and they had no plan at all - they just charged right into it. As Soul had always said of them, it was, in simple terms, not cool, but it was how they were.

With a relationship came responsibility. Soul knew that - he wasn't stupid. Unfortunately, Maka knew that too, being the farthest thing from stupid he'd ever seen, and she simply had to make a big deal out of it. She'd let it slide without mention for a little while, but one day (without any warning at all!) she took him by the arm during dinner, her brows clouded like a thunderhead. She gave him a firm shake and told him that they had to decide what to do right away, because this was a very delicate procedure and it was not to be taken lightly. They needed to think about this very carefully, she insisted, and decide on something that would benefit everyone involved.

Since when had there been an "everyone?" Soul had stirred his noodles and told her matter-of-factly that no one else was involved but them. After recovering from the book spine she'd so kindly wedged into his frontal lobe, he decided to change his tune.

In all seriousness, they had their friends to worry about, she said, putting her hand over his with a frown. The look in her eyes made him expect bad news, like Soul, we need to talk - the legendary break-up starter - or Soul, your brother called, your grandmother just died. If this was going to remain on the down-low, she declared, they needed to be very careful, because she trusted them, she really did, it was just their personalities that made her uneasy. They had to weigh the pros and the cons of telling each of them about their little "dating experiment" before deciding on a plan of action once and for all.

First, they had Black Star. He was one of their oldest friends at Shibusen, and usually age was equated with trust, Maka pointed out. Soul took that opportunity to tell Maka that he wouldn't trust Black Star with anything - ever - and not only did she agree, but she promptly questioned her sanity for even considering him.

And there was Tsubaki, Maka's best friend and most trusted advisor. Maka boldly declared to Soul that if they were to choose just one person to tell, it would be Tsubaki - if she could trust her with her life, she could trust her with a secret. Soul clicked his tongue at Maka reproachfully, shaking his head and declining to agree. He reminded her that Tsubaki and Black Star were partners and, as his partner, she would feel terribly guilty keeping secrets from him. Black Star could read her like an open book, he continued - if she so much as hinted that she knew something about us, through words or body language, Black Star would catch on and beg her to tell him. And she would tell him, because that's who she was; sweet, harmless Tsubaki, who couldn't turn a blind eye to her partner's begging. Maka begrudgingly admitted that he was right - Tsubaki was out, at least for now.

They had Liz and Patty to consider, too. Soul and Maka found themselves laughing hysterically the moment the suggestion was thrown onto the table, and after they composed themselves, they decided to avoid thinking about them all-together. It would be a cold day in Hell when those two developed the ability to keep a secret.

The last person they thought to consider was Death the Kid. He was able to keep secrets better than anyone else, and he probably wouldn't care as much as the rest, which would save them a good deal of embarrassment. If they were to tell someone, he seemed like the most likely candidate - at least, he seemed decent on the surface. This time Maka was the one to realize the downside; he had the same flaw as Tsubaki, with different circumstances. If Liz and Patty asked, he had absolutely no reason not to tell them. He always seemed so indifferent towards them and their personal lives; what was his motivation to stay quiet?

Their little talk was more or less a complete waste of time. Not only was Soul's dinner now ice cold, but they had reached the decision he'd wanted and suggested from the start: They shouldn't tell their friends, because it was none of their business, anyway. It was their own little secret, and it would remain a secret until they decided otherwise - and as Soul put his meal in the microwave, he found himself hoping that their charade would be kept quiet for a good, long time.

Hopefully, the driver of this crappy train wouldn't have a heart attack and die, because the last thing they needed was for this situation to get out of control.