If just figures.

You know how when you're little and your parents take you to see every single disney movie that comes out, and every single disney movie that comes out ends up being your favorite movie of all time until the next one? You know how every single disney movie has that same perfect disney princess that you always wanted to be, and they had perfect eyes and perfect hair and perfect princes who saved them from everything and took them away to castles or kingdoms or wherever and they all lived happily ever after? You remember how you were sure that if you just dressed like them enough and pretended enough and watched the movies enough it would come true for you too? You know how you were sure that you'd end up with perfect eyes and perfect hair and a perfect prince and happily ever after? You remember that?

I do. And I know for a fact that perfect eyes aren't wild and moonlight reflective. And perfect hair isn't coarse and thick and beastly all over your entire body. And princes don't fall in love with wolves.

And your mom's promise when you're four years old of some future happily ever after is as much a load of crap as her telling you vampires don't exist.

It just figures though. It just figures that things would end up this way.

I'll tell you what - I'll never take my kids to disney movies.

Not that I'll ever be having any.