Mending Hearts

Author's Note: Read this or the story won't make sense! This story started out as the fantasy every Twilight fangirl has had: the Cullens showing up at their school. Then it escalated into it's own story with a main character lack of fangirl screaming in the Cullen's presence shocks me, and friends who think she's slightly insane, and the tale of what would happen if everything went wrong. I would like to mention that "hidden" or "secret" thoughts refer to the thoughts that Edward cannot hear. There will be more explanation on this later. Also this is set in the future, after the BD movie even. The movies have all come and gone, and nobody cares about Twilight anymore, except for Erika. She loves the series, but nobody knows what she's raving about when she talks about sparkley vampires. They haven't read the books. Erika still believes that the Cullens will show up one day though, just like most of us probably have. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but I wish I did...:)

Chapter 1: Perfect World Broken

It was one of those days. I had a really hard math test, couldn't figure out what on earth reflexive verbs were in French, and this morning I was late for band. I had an excuse for the last one though. I was going to be early, so I decided to go on the computer and download the Twilight soundtrack. I only heard about it yesterday and I really wanted to own it. The thing is, the movie is so old, and the CD isn't even stocked in music stores anymore. So I was up early this morning getting the songs onto my iTunes, and then my iPod. I welcomed lunch. I was one of those people with the extremely fast metabolism. I'm always starving by lunch. I'm also starting to think that I can hear my stomach eating itself when I'm hungry. It's not a pleasant feeling. So when lunch rolls around, I'm usually really fast to get mine.

I always pack a lunch, but I tend to think those microwavable soups very convenient. So today I was headed to the cafeteria. I usually just walk straight to the microwave, us it, and leave, but sometimes I looked around to see what changes had happened since I last looked. Sometimes the cafeteria was filled with a wave of new eighth graders, and sometimes the seniors chase them out. It's usually fun to watch. Today was one of the days I took a full look at the cafeteria.

And nearly fainted in shock.

I forced myself to keep walking at a steady pace, though I may have sped up a bit. My body tingled with the adrenaline that pumped through my body. I was reeling, but I managed to calm down a little bit, enough to not look suspicious, maybe just enough for it to seem like maybe I had seen an old crush. Also, I started singing 'Leave the Rest Behind" by Linkin Park in my head so I wouldn't think about what I had just seen. I would think about it later. It took all my strength to keep singing in my mind and being distracted while I dragged my legs to the microwave. The 2 minutes to heat my soup were an agony of trying not to look back, trying not to run over, trying not to think about it. When the microwave finally beeped, I wasn't as controlled. I almost flew to the spot where I ate with my friends. I hoped I knew enough lyrics to songs so I could keep humming to myself for the rest of the day until I could think safely.

Because sitting in a small, isolated corner of the cafeteria, avoided by the rest of the student body, were the Cullens.

* * *

I don't actually know how I managed to last the entire day without thinking about it. I was taking the hardest trial of my life. Not only did I have to block my thoughts, but I had to stay calm and not make any drastic decisions. This was the first time that my Twilight obsession actually came in useful for something other that taking up my free (and sometimes not so free) time. For years, starting right after I read the books, I started guarding my thoughts. I pretended that Edward was listening to my every thought, and I didn't want him to hear some things. I learned to think in front of it, like having two separate lines of thought, both going at the same time. It was really hard. I could, for example, think about what I was going to eat for dinner consciously, and actually have rational thoughts and come to a decision, while disguising the fact that I was actually wondering how many mountain lions were around town.

I could also be emotionless, worrying that Jasper might notice my shock, or suspicion, or maybe even my excitement. Well, not completely emotionless. That's really hard to do. I can just calm myself down enough that it might seem like I was thinking of something I might have heard earlier, or maybe I had an epiphany. Either way, it wouldn't be enough for them to be suspicious of me.

Learning not to make decisions was harder. I sort of learned how to work on instinct, but I don't know if that worked. I figured that to best Alice, I should just not make any decisions about them. She wouldn't be looking into every single person's decision to do anything, just anything that might involve the Cullens themselves. So I was hoping that not thinking about them would solve that problem. I sure hope so.

Now that they were here, I didn't want them to go before I at least talked to them, and I couldn't do that if they knew that I knew what they were. They would move out of here that night, and I would never see them again. I couldn't let that happen. Here were all my dreams and fantasies, having a chance to possibly meet the elusive Cullens, and I wasn't about to let it get away.

When I got home, I immediately ran up to my room. I dumped my backpack on the floor, and turned on some music. Actually, I turned on the Twilight Soundtrack. I figured it would probably be the best thing to help me think, considering the circumstances. As Bella's Lullaby started playing, I sat on the bed and did a few breathing exercises to help me calm down more. Now was time to assess what I had seen, hopefully safe in my house.

I had seen the Cullens; I knew it was them, it had to be. It was just like in the books. They were, of course, inhumanly beautiful. Past that though, it was really quite obvious. I saw Rosalie, looking like a model off of some fancy magazine I had no name for, and when someone looked like that, they didn't go to a regular small town high school. Then there was Emmett. I couldn't think about him for long, he was really freaky. His muscles were huge! The cool thing though, was that he didn't look like those nasty guys on steroids. He looked like he got them naturally, though I'm guessing that being a vampire sped up the process. Jasper was there too. He seemed really tense; I hope he didn't see through my fake calm. Alice looked like she was about to start jumping up and down, even when she was still, though I guess she's always like that. I hope that she didn't see me. Finally there was Edward. It really was quite obvious who he was. The bronze hair gave it away. I was worried about him though. He looked really depressed, like he was about to jump out a window.

That's when I realized something.

Where was Bella? Where were Renesmee and Jacob? I was sure that the rest of the Cullens wouldn't go anywhere without them. Renesmee is Edward's daughter for goodness sake! Not to mention Bella, his true love. Oh, and Jacob would go anywhere Renesmee was, so he should be there too. I didn't see any of them. What was going on here? Why is the group incomplete? Did Bella want to stay in Forks? Her dad probably wouldn't be around anymore. Nobody she had known would have been, it was so long ago.

I was feeling really uneasy about it. I wanted to know what was going on. I couldn't make any decisions though; Alice would see them for sure. I knew that if I thought about it anymore though, I would make some kind of decision, Alice would see, and they would all move away. I was getting hungry, so I decided to get something to eat and do my homework. There was nothing else I could do about this tonight. I would have to see if they were there tomorrow. After all, for all I know, I could have been hallucinating!

* * *

The next day, I could barely wait until I got to school. My morning classes were dragging on forever! Glancing at the clock every other second probably wasn't helping either. It wasn't as hard to think about other things today. I was more prepared, but I was still very careful. I haven't ever tested it, I could be failing completely for all I knew, and Edward was able to see my every thought about them. They could be getting out of their classes right now, and escaping the crazed fangirl that was I. I began to get more worried, but I tried to stifle it, knowing that Jasper could possibly sense it. Not that it was that important, there were lots of people worrying about all sorts of trifle things in the school, like tests or asking a person out. So being worried wasn't my first priority. I did try to think of something worrying in the front of my mind though, so my worry wouldn't seem so out of place. I decided to worry about the test in Math that I took yesterday. I hope I did well!

"Erika?"

I jumped. I hadn't even noticed Cassie calling my name. I answered distractedly, but still glad for an opportunity to think about something else. "Oh, sorry Cassie! I was really zoned just now. What's up?" I tried to sound casual, but I think my voice might have sounded a bit nervous.

Cassie didn't seem to notice. "Yeah you've seemed a little out of it all day. What's up with you?" She didn't give me time to answer. "Anyway, I was wondering if you knew how to say 'You're Welcome' in French. I can't remember."

"Isn't something like, 'De Rien'?" Beside me, Haileigh jumped into the one sided conversation, seeing as how I wasn't really responding today.

I agreed quickly though. "Yeah it is. What do you need it for?"

"It's for my French postcard. I was saying 'You're welcome for the pens I sent', or something along that line." Cassie answered. I had almost forgotten about the French project. It wasn't a very big one anyway. I was almost finished myself. French wasn't that exciting anymore. I was way ahead of the class, so I knew a lot of stuff already.

Finally the bell for lunch rang, and I almost ran to my locker. I just barley managed to restrain myself. I paused at my locker to get my lunch, and to calm my nerves a little bit. How would I talk to them? I wouldn't. No, I couldn't think that I would, or Alice would see. I thought about microwaveing my soup while walking down the stairs. I was halfway through the cafeteria when I suddenly swerved toward where I saw them sitting yesterday. I didn't make the decision to do anything else. I looked at them, seemingly through boredom, not really thinking about what I was doing. Not in the front of my mind anyway. On my second, hidden line of thought, I was scrutinizing their every move.

Jasper was tense again, and I wondered if it was because of all the humans around. His eyes kept of flickering toward Edward though, and I wondered again why Bella wasn't there. He would have been a lot happier with her there. Why wasn't she? Now that I noticed where Japer kept on looking, I noticed that all the rest of the Cullens were looking towards Edward a lot too. It was like they were keeping an eye on him, to make sure he didn't do anything rash. I could understand that though, he looked really depressed, like he hadn't seen the sun in years, like he had gone blind.

I barely noticed when I stopped a foot away from their table, or how all eyes except his looked at me- staring. If I had been paying attention, I would have noticed their shock, curiosity, and suspicion about me being so close. Why would I, a mere human, dare approach them, when it was so obvious that they were dangerous, and to be avoided? I was past that though. All I could see was his face, glaring at the table like it was what had blinded him. But I knew. I could feel my eyes widening, and my legs were getting shaky. I only knew of one thing that could make Edward so depressed. It all clicked in one moment, and I gasped.

The reason Bella, Renesmee, and Jacob weren't there. Why he looked like he was about to commit suicide. Why his family were glancing at him like they were making sure he wasn't. And in that one moment, I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't breathe. My legs collapsed under me, and I didn't even care that half the cafeteria were staring at me, including the Cullens. I didn't even bother to keep my protections up. I was past that. And all I could think was "No, not her! Not him! It can't have happened! It wasn't possible, because that could have never happened to her! It was perfect, and it's gone!" I was in hysterics, because I knew what had happened, though I didn't know how.

The only thing that could cause this much pain would be if Bella had died.