Hello. I haven't written any stories in a while. I sort of got sick of it. But I thought up this one, and haven't written any more than just this first chapter, but I do have a sort of plan, so don't worry about me getting at a point where I don't know what to write, because it won't happen. :) And I know time-travel isn't possible, but this is just a story, and a Metalocalypse story at that... you know, the show where there are lake trolls and a chef who survives being cut up into tiny pieces... I think the show can deal with a little time-machine action. Don't you?

Okay then, here goes:

xxxxxx

"I wants for to you builds me a time machines," Skwisgaar informed the group of Klokateers sitting in fold up chairs in front of his podium. He had called a meeting with a large group of the Dethklok employees, ordering them to meet him in a room in the basement. Now they were all assembled, awaiting his orders, "I gets boreds, you see, sittings all day when we has nothings for to do, so I needs befores de ends of dis weeks, for a times machine builts. Can you do dat?"

The group of hooded men sat silently for a moment. None of them honestly believed they could build a time machine at all, much less in merely the span of one week. Nevertheless, they each lived for one purpose: to serve Dethklok. If a time machine was what Skwisgaar wanted, a time machine is what he would have.

"Of course, Master," one of the Klokateers responded, "we shall try our best."

"Pfft," Skwisgaar scoffed, "tries your best? Dat betters mean yous will has a times machine builds. I don'ts cares abouts tries yours best... I asks for times machines, and dat's what I wants! You better has one builds!" Skwisgaar was clearly becoming agitated, "you thinks you just slacks off and not even tries, so you just says you tries your best withouts really tryings!? You guys all knows how to builds things, and what I wants to has builds is a times machine!"

"Yes, Master," the Klokateer agreed. He still didn't think he would be able to build a time machine for his beloved Dethklok guitarist, but he sure as hell wasn't going to stop trying until he succeeded in doing just that.

"Good," Skwisgaar said, finally content, "and you don'ts tells no one else abouts dis... 'Specially nots Tokis... I don'ts wants him screwings everythings ups," Skwisgaar started mumbling to himself after this comment, "once you finally gets a times machine and Tokis woulds comes alongs, travels in times, steals stuffs from de futures maybes takes aways your shoes earlier dat mornings... Dat guys is always screwings everythings up..."

"We'll not mention it to anyone," the Klokateer agreed.

"Okays... Lets me know when it's am dones," Skwisgaar said, leaving the baffled Klokateers to sort through the impossible task.

As the Klokateers began their work, Skwisgaar made his way upstairs to the main room in Mordhaus, which contained the hot-tub, sofas, video games, and several televisions. Nathan, Pickles, and Murderface were all sitting in the hot-tub, drinking alcohol of some sort, while Toki was playing some sort of arcade-style game along the wall.

None of the four took note of Skwisgaar entering the room. Pickles was very intoxicated, and never took note of anything around him when he was so wasted, while Murderface and Nathan were absorbed in an argument of some sort, and Toki was completely drawn in by his video game.

Skwisgaar stood in the doorway for some time, looking back and fourth between the hot-tub and the line of video games along the wall, waiting for one of his band mates to notice him standing there. He was so bored. They had just finished a concert the previous week; no one wanted to think up any new songs yet, as they each preferred to procrastinate until the weeks before their next album and concert rather than getting anything done in advance, so now all they had to do was nothing. For the past few days, none of the band mates had accomplished anything noteworthy. Toki had beaten his high scores on all of the video games, but besides that, the entirety of their existence seemed worthless.

Skwisgaar sighed loudly, gaining the attention of Murderface and Nathan, who both turned their heads toward the doorway where he stood.

"What the hell'sch the matter with you?" Muderface asked him.

Skwisgaar narrowed his eyes, "Don'ts any of yous wants to goes out drinkings or somethings? I haves never been so boreds in my entire lifes..."

"Oh! I goes out drinkings with yous, Skwisgaar!" Toki offered excitedly. Skwisgaar ignored him.

"Nah," Nathan responded to Skwisgaar's offer, "we just finished the concert and everything, and I just sort of... uh... just wanna relax, you know? Like... and not go out... Besides... I think I'm already drunk. I've been drinking at least... I, uh... don't know how many I've had..."

"Oh, quite a few," Muderface informed him, "honeschtly, I haven't been counting, but I wasch counting earlier... and you had a lot... Then I schtopped counting, and you had more... scho... I'd schay you're probably pretty drunk."

"I'm nots drunks!" Toki offered, "I goes out drinkings with yous!"

"Whats abouts Pickle?" Skwisgaar asked, ignoring Toki still.

Pickles was completely out of it, "Uh... I think he's pretty drunk," Nathan guessed, "PICKLES!" he yelled at the drummer, "Hey! Pickles! Are you drunk!? ANSWER ME! Yeah... I think he's pretty drunk," he decided when no response came from the drummer.

"Whats abouts Toki!?" Toki suggested, becoming tired of being ignored.

At this point, Skwisgaar finally acknowledged him, "I lets you goes with me... IF you promise nots to drinks too much, okays?" Skwisgaar offered. They all knew how disoriented Toki got when he drank a lot, "I don'ts wants you throwings up all nights and I haves to babysits you."

"Okays!" Toki agreed, smiling. He was always pleased when he was included in what one of his band mates was doing. Oftentimes they would ignore him or exclude him, not always on purpose, but nevertheless, it got tiring to never be part of the group, "I promises."

xxxxxx

Toki and Skwisgaar made their way to the bar. Skwisgaar drove, even though he didn't have a driver's license. He figured it would be better for him to drive than to let Toki drive, and he wasn't about to wait around and have one of the Klokateers or Ofdensen drive them. He figured he could drive well enough, and was correct, because they both made it to the pub in one piece, and only hit a few cars in the parking lot, and just barely.

They went inside and sat down at the bar. Toki started off by ordering three drinks. Skwisgaar glared at him, "You says you wouldn'ts drinks a lots..."

Toki frowned, "Okays... I just kiddings... I... uh... Dis two is for yous," he smiled, pushing two of his three drinks toward Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar pushed them back toward Toki, "Just pace yourselfs, okays?"

Toki nodded, downed a shot of Vodka and then turned to Skwisgaar, "It gets so borings afters a concerts," he said, voicing Skwisgaar's earlier thoughts, "We gots everythings we wants, but I am stills boreds. I think I plays my video games untils I can't beats de scores," he said, downing another shot of vodka, "I thinks I gots de highest scores possibles."

"I doubts it," Skwisgaar told him, "I bets I could gets a highers one."

Toki frowned, "bets you couldn'ts..."

"We'll sees," Skwisgaar persisted, "when we goes homes later, I plays it, and I shows you."

"No!" Toki yelled out, in a voice which sounded almost panicked, "I gots all de high scores on all of dem! If you beats one, it won'ts all be my high scores anymores..."

"Whats good is a high scores if dere's am no competitions, hm? Think about it..." Skwisgaar asked him.

Toki thought about this for a moment. He drank a third shot of vodka and then ordered three more, while Skwisgaar was still on his first drink.

"What's I tells you abouts drinkings straight vodkas?" Skwisgaar scolded, "Drikings am nots a contest, Tokis. You ams goings to be so trashed, and guess who wills has to takes cares of you, hm? Me. I wills. You throws up and passes out, and I wills has to be responsibles for gettings you back homes..."

"I can finds my own ways homes," Toki argued, "You don't has to be respons-tickle..."

Skwisgaar sighed again, finishing his drink and ordering another. If this had been a race, Toki certainly would be winning.

Toki spun in his seat, facing Skwisgaar, while swaying slightly, the multiple shots of vodka kicking in, "what's we gonna do for funs since we don'ts gots nothings to do?" he asked.

"Maybe goes to alcoholics an-non-e-mouse," Skwisgaar laughed at his own joke.

Toki looked confused, "An-non-e-mouse? What means dat?" he asked.

"Nothings," Skwisgaar didn't feel like explaining it. There was a silence between the two for a moment, and then Skwisgaar spoke up, "if you could go backs in times, or in de futures of de times, when would you goes to?" he asked, trying to decide when he might want to go to when his secret time machine was completed.

Toki looked confused again, "goes and be at a times dat already happens, or dat hasn't happened yets? Ams dat impossible though?"

"I said ifs you coulds, when woulds you go to?" Skwisgaar repeated himself.

Toki looked to be deep in thought, "I don'ts thinks I would goes at alls," he decided.

"Realies?" Skwisgaar asked, "you wouldn't wants to see how things were befores you were borns, or maybe goes in de futures so you can see what happens and den comes back and makes everyones think yous am a psychos?"

Skwisgaar could tell Toki was completely wasted. He also knew the best time to talk to Toki was when he was wasted, because he would be more truthful, even if sometimes he was difficult to understand through his slurring of words.

"I don'ts likes de past," Toki told him, "I likes whats time is it rights now..."

"What if maybes you coulds change somethings in de past whats you didn'ts likes? Den it woulds has never happens," Skwisgaar continued.

"Isn't if we changes de past, it changes de now times?" Toki asked, "likes... if fors examples, I goes in de past and kills you in de past, you woulds be deads in de now too."

"Woulds you kills me in de past?" Skwisgaar asked him.

"No," Toki answered.

"Den we don'ts has to worry about dat, hm?" Skwisgaar explained, feeling as though he had shot a huge hole in Toki's logic.

Toki nodded, "I guess so..."

At that point, Skwisgaar's dethphone rang, "excuses me, Tokis," he said, turning away from his band mate and answering his phone, "Hellos?"

"Hello. Your time machine is complete, master," he heard the voice of a Klokateer on the other end of the phone.

Skwisgaar looked over his shoulder at Toki, wanting to ensure he hadn't heard anything about his time machine. Fortunately, Toki wasn't paying attention at all, "Goods," Skwisgaar told the Klokateer, "I wills be theres shortly..." he hung up the phone and looked at Toki, "You has enough to drinks now. It's times for to goes."

Toki nodded and followed Skwisgaar outside. Skwisgaar, who had only had two drinks, felt it safe for himself to drive, and did just that. When they made it home, Skwisgaar accompanied Toki to the main room, where the younger of the two passed out on the sofa. Skwisgaar made his way down to the basement, eager to try out his new time machine...

xxxxxx

Okay guys. ^_^ Not a lot has happened so far... but that will change. :) You can review if you want to let me know how I'm doing. Reviews motivate me to write better and longer chapters. You don't have to review of course; I'm just saying, someone who is praised for their work is more likely to do better at said work. :)

I'll try to update fairly frequently, but I do have school and other stuff to do... so it won't be too quickly.