Since you all responded so nicely-and I'm still having a bit of a writer's block-I'll give you some cookies. Girl Scout Cookies.

I don't own nothing…damn!

Okay, I just found this song-Girl Scout Cookies by Ted Nugent-go listen to it. It's so funny. Ah, just do it. You'll laugh. For some reason I think of Emmett when I listen to it….

Girl Scout Cookies

It was a Monday. The Monday for one specific member of the Cullen family. Today was Nessie's first Girl Scout meeting-and she was bouncing around more than Alice before a shopping trip.

It's not just the fact that she got to interact with kids her 'age,' it was the fact that this was one of her first tests in the human world. She had to resist the call of blood, act weaker, and slower, all the while trying to make friends with a group of eight year old girls.

When the meeting was over she practically skipped back into the Cullen mansion, with Bella walking in behind her with a smile on her face. Nessie's eyes darted quickly around the room and rested on just the person-vampire-she was looking for: Uncle Emmett.

"Emmett!" she yelled as she jumped on top of him.

"What do you need kiddo?" he asked grinning at her.

"Well, we're selling Girl Scout cookies and I was wondering if you'd help me sell them," she asked hopefully, making her eyes-Bella's eyes-wide with innocence as she looked at Emmett pleadingly.

He wrinkled his nose. "Ew," he said. "Sure, I'll help you," he said grinning.

"Will you help me win?" she asked.

"Why do you want to win?" he asked curiously-not that he didn't mind the competition. He could so crush everybody.

"I want to win that bike-and because this girl, Daniel, was making fun of me. She thought I couldn't hear her but…," Nessie trailed off, looking away so her uncle wouldn't be able to see how sad that made her.

Emmett's eyes narrowed as he thought about this Daniel girl. "She's going down," he muttered.

Nessie smiled brightly and gave him a hug. "Thank you Uncle Emmett!" she said happily.

"Wait a second, why do you need a bike?" he asked confused. She already has like, five.

"Because, Daniel wants that bike," she said grinning.

Emmett smiled proudly. More like me every day, he thought to himself. Edward snorted in the corner of the room and Emmett shot him a glare. "When do we start?" Emmett asked.

"Tomorrow. We have to pick out a spot to sell the cookies and stay there for a while," she said. Emmett nodded. This will be interesting…

………………………………................................................................................................

"And our table," Emmett said, inserting a dramatic pause, "is finished." He looked proudly at their table that stood in front of Fork's Wal-Mart. They had a green table cloth and the cookies were all stacked up like a pyramid. They were so going to win.

"It looks great," Nessie said happily before sitting down on one of the chairs they brought. Emmett sat next to her and leaned back.

"Hello, what are you guys selling?" a women said smiling kindly at them as she walked toward their table.

"I'm selling Girl Scout cookies-and that's my Uncle Emmett, he's helping me," Nessie said brightly.

The women smiled widely at them. "And how much do these cookies cost?" she asked, taking her purse and pulling out her wallet.

"Two fifty a box," Nessie answered instantly.

"Well then, I'll have to buy two boxes of thin mints please," she said, taking out a couple bills from her pocket.

Nessie grabbed the boxes and handed her two of them as the women set the money down on the table. "Thank you!" Nessie said, putting the money carefully in an envelope.

"Your welcome, good luck selling," she said before heading into the store.

"This is too easy," Nessie said leaning back in her chair.

"With my awesomeness, and your cuteness, we've got this in the bag," Emmett said smugly.

"What are you doing here?" a girl's voice asked.

Nessie and Emmett looked up to find a girl with short red hair glaring at Nessie and Emmett as two other girls with brown hair stood behind her, identical expressions of irritation on their faces.

"That's Daniel," Nessie whispered. Emmett let out a low growl. That little candy cane's been messing with his niece. "Shh," Nessie hissed. "We're selling cookies," Nessie said to them.

"Well this is our spot," Daniel sneered, jabbing her thumb at a table on the other side of the door.

"We were here first," Emmett said.

"And who are you?" she shot at him.

"I'm Nessie's uncle," Emmett said evenly.

"Why are you here?" she asked irritated.

"To help win that bike for my niece," he answered, narrowing his eyes at the little girl.

The girl walked up to their booth with a sneer on her face and her friends following behind her. "Nice pyramid," she said before turning to walk toward her booth. Her foot 'accidentally' caught on the leg of the table and the pyramid of cookie boxes tumble to the ground while Emmett and Nessie fought their reflexes to remain humanlike. "Whoops. Sorry," she said with a smirk as she and her giggling friends continued on to their booth.

Emmett and Nessie both glared at their backs before bending down to pick them up. "What a dufus," Daniel muttered to her friends, but Emmett and Nessie both heard. Emmett froze in place as one of his memories from his human life came flashing back to him.

-Flashback-

An eight year old Emmett was swinging at the park at his old house. He smiled as he got higher and higher up in the air, enjoying feeling the rush it gave him.

"Hey McCarty!" the all too familiar voice of Rodney Jenkins, the school's bully, called as he and his group of friends walked up to the swings.

"Hello Rodney," Emmett said through his teeth. His Mom would kill him if she heard he was mean to Rodney.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a smirk.

"I'm swinging on the swing. What does it look like I'm doing? The Macarena?" Emmett asked rolling his eyes.

Rodney's eyes narrowed at the boy. "You're such a wimp McCarty, I bet you couldn't even jump off the swings," he said.

Emmett thought for a second. He was swinging really high-probably the highest he's ever been. The ground's not that far away…

"Bet you I could," Emmett shot back.

"Yeah right," Rodney said, his friends snickered behind him.

Emmett locked his jaw and waited for the perfect moment when the swing was at his highest. He let go of the rusty chains and flew through the air, landing on his feet in the sand. "Hah!" he said triumphantly. He turned back around to smirk at Rodney only to find that he and his friends had taken over the swings, leaving none for Emmett. "Hey, I was on first!" Emmett exclaimed.

"Who cares," Rodney said. "He's such a dufus," he muttered to his laughing friends.

That was it. That's the last time Rodney Jenkins is messing with Emmett McCarty. He picked up a good sized rock out of the sand and flung it straight at Rodney, hitting him right in the forehead. Rodney yelped and tears began running down his cheeks as he clutched his red forehead. "Who's the dufus now?" Emmett mocked.

-End Flashback-

He glared at the girls. No one calls Emmett McCarty a dufus and gets away with it. No one. "Emmett, shh," Nessie whispered.

Emmett hadn't even realized he had been growling at the little eight year old girls who were setting up their own boxes of cookies. He stopped growling and quickly picked up the rest of the boxes and stacked them back up. "We're going to crush them," Emmett muttered.

………………………………................................................................................................

ONE HOUR LATER

"Hello, can I interest you in some Girl Scout cookies? I'm trying to help my niece win a bike," Emmett said smiling at the women who was just walking out of the store. Her eyes seemed to glaze over for a second but then she snapped out of it and smiled back.

"I'll take some Daisy Go Rounds," she said, taking out her purse.

"How many?" Nessie asked sweetly.

"Um…," she trailed off, trying to figure out how many she'd want in her head. Emmett shot her another dazzling smile and she blinked rapidly. "I'll take five boxes," she said.

"Thanks!" Nessie said, gathering the boxes in her hands. The women handed Emmett her money and gave him a wink before walking a way with her boxes of cookies.

Emmett looked down at the money and found a piece of paper with her phone number inside. Nessie snickered. "Aunt Rosie would kill her," she said looking at the women.

"Yeah she would," Emmett said, crumpling up the paper and throwing it away.

Nessie and Emmett both looked over at Daniel's booth just as she sold some cookies to some old man. "Thank you!" they heard her say as she smiled brightly at the old man. When he walked away Daniel made a face at the man's back and her friends laughed.

"What little-"

"Emmett," Nessie warned.

"Jeez, you're just like Esme," he grumbled.

"So, how many have you guys sold? Two?" Daniel called from her table.

"Try two thousand," Emmett shot back.

Nessie slapped her palm against her forehead. "You are such a liar," Daniel said confidently. "It doesn't matter how much you sell anyway, you can't beat us. We win every year and a couple of newbies aren't going to change that," she sneered.

"Oh really?" Emmett said as he stood up and walked casually toward their table. "And how many exactly have you girls sold?" he asked, looking at their table and counting the boxes in the time it took them too read their tally chart.

"One hundred and eleven," the blonde girl replied.

"Is that so?" he asked, walking back over to his and Nessie's booth. "How pathetic, we can totally beat that," Emmett muttered to Nessie. Emmett picked up a box of Caramel deLites and looked at it with a disgusted expression on his face. "I'll pay for this, okay?" Emmett said to Nessie as he opened the box.

"Emmett, what are you doing? You know you can't eat that," she whispered back.

"Who said I was going to eat it?" he asked as he took out a cookie and looked at it quickly. Ew, he thought. Who would want to eat this? Then he threw it at the back of Daniel's head.

"Ow!" the girl yelled, spinning around in her chair and grabbing the back of her head.

"Emmett!" Nessie whisper yelled.

"What the heck was that for?!" Daniel asked, glaring at Emmett.

"I'm sorry. I missed my mouth. Won't happen again," he said with an innocent smile. Daniel glared before turning back to her friends. Emmett threw another cookie.

"Hey!" Daniel yelled at him. "I thought you said it wouldn't happen again?" she sneered.

"I lied," he said with a shrug. Daniel let out a huff and looked away.

"Do it again and I'll ask Mom to arm wrestle you again," Nessie threatened.

Emmett scoffed. "I could beat Bella," he said with a wave of his hand.

Nessie quirked an eyebrow. "You didn't the last sixty-seven times," she reminded him.

Emmett narrowed his eyes at his niece. "You know how to play," he commented as Nessie smiled triumphantly.

………………………………................................................................................................

For the next two weeks Emmett and Nessie walked around Forks, and sat outside of stores to sell cookies-the same as Daniel and her friends. Finally the day came when they would find out if they won.

"Why couldn't I take Nessie to her meeting?" Emmett asked as he waited for Nessie and Bella to get back.

"Because the last time you went you almost took a snap at one of the girls," Edward said.

"She had a paper cut," Emmett mumbled.

Edward snorted. "Sure," he said with a smirk. Emmett just made a face at him. Stupid Edward and his mind reading powers. It's not like he actually bit Daniel-he didn't even get close. He just thought about it…

Finally Emmett heard the Volvo pull into the driveway and he could smell Bella and Nessie heading towards the house. He was practically bouncing up and down on the couch.

"Jeez Emmett, any more excited and you'll pee your pants," Jasper said as he sent calming waves towards Emmett.

"Vampires can't pee," Emmett said, rolling his eyes.

"As far as you know. Have you ever tried?" Jasper countered.

Emmett's eyes grew wide. "No. I haven't," he said in a slightly dazed tone. Jasper chuckled and he snapped out of it. Jerk was pulling his leg.

The front door burst open and Nessie ran straight into Emmett's arms. "We won! We won! We won!" she exclaimed excitedly. "We sold the most cookies!"

"Ha! In. Her. Face," Emmett said. "Did you get your bike?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, want to see it?" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah. Let's go see it…"

………………………………................................................................................................

"Who's the dufus now?" Emmett called mockingly, honking the horn as he rode passed a furious Daniel on a cherry red bicycle.

Hoped you liked that one. I thought it was pretty good myself. REVIEW! Let me know if you want these all just to be separate one shots or it you just want me to put all of them under the same story thing.

Next one shot:

Emmett Goes To Football Tryouts

Summary: when the Cullens go to a new school Emmett thinks it'll be fun to mess with the cocky jocks at his new school. It's not like he'll hurt anybody…or will he??