Prologue:

I was still broken. Even though I was beginning to heal, all I could think about was him. I can't even think his name without feeling like I'm falling apart-and Jacob is the only one who can put me together again.

Chapter 1:

Jacob drove up to my empty house after my cliff diving episode. (Charlie, of course, was at the hospital with Harry. I was still inwardly cursing my stupidity. What was I thinking? What was hearing his voice going to do accept cause me more pain?

Just then, Jake cut the engine and came to open the door for me. I thought he would of Harry, but then he spoke, his tone was apologetic. "Sorry. I know you don't feel exactly the way I do, Bells. I swear I don't mind. I'm just so glad you're okay that I could sing-and that's something no one wants to hear." He laughed his throaty laugh in my ear.

My breathing kicked up a notch, sanding the walls of my throat.

Wouldn't Edward, indifferent as he might be, want me to be as happy as was possible under the circumstances? Wouldn't enough friendly emotion linger for him to want that much for me? I thought he would. He wouldn't begrudge me this: giving just a small bit of the love he didn't want to my friend Jacob. After all, it wasn't the same love at all.

Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair.

If I turned y face to the side- if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder… I knew without any doubt exactly what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight.

But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life?

With butterflies in my stomach, I turned my face and kissed him lightly on the shoulder. First he froze. Then he looked at me in amazement.

"Bella?" he asked, "Are you sure?"

I just looked deeper into his eyes and saw his resolve form in them. As he slowly bent his face to mine, his eyes still questioning, I stared back; hardily knowing if this was what I really wanted. I stood on tip-toe reaching towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck. At first his lips were hesitant against mine, but as he realized I wasn't going to push him away, the kiss grew more demanding and passionate. He pulled me tighter, uncomfortably so, but still not quite tight enough. His lips left mine only briefly and he murmured my name. When it was over, neither of us said a word. He just picked me up and carried me to my room.

For the first night in months, I didn't think about Edward, and I didn't wake up screaming. For the first time since Edward left, I felt happy, whole. Here, with Jacob's arms around me, I knew who would really love me forever.

Chapter 2:

When Charlie came home, he must've thought I was asleep because he never came to check on me. That morning Jake and I kissed over and over by my window before he finally had to leave through it. I sat on me bed, hugging my knees to my chest and staring out the window, thinking about my night with Jacob.

When I had meet Edward it had been a physical and emotional pain not to be with him. I couldn't not love him. He gave me a choice, but I knew I didn't really have any other option. At the time, I'll admit, I didn't want any options. Iwas more than happy to love him with everything I had. Unfortunately, that hadn't been enough to keep him here. He left, knowing that I loved him. He walked away from me after telling me countless times that he loved me. Maybe he had, but either that love had gone away, or just like my love for him, it wasn't enough. I understood, really, why he left. There had never been anything about me to hold him here. I had always known that. Suddenly, a flash of something flame-red on the edge of the woods caught my attention and interrupted my reverie.

Chapter 3:

It was so fast I almost wasn't sure I'd seen it. I had only seen hair that color on one person: Victoria. For a second, I was paralyzed with fear, unable to even unwind my arms from around my legs. My first thought was of Jacob. Should I go downstairs and call Billy? What if Victoria was downstairs? What if it had really been nothing, just a trick to the light now pouring through my window? Eventually, I realized I couldn't just sit there waiting for Victoria to find me. I slowly untangled myself and got off the bed, cursing as the bed squeaked. Even though I knew it was pointless, I crept as quietly as I could (trying not to trip) down the stairs to the phone. When my shaking fingers had finally dialed the number, Billy answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Billy, it's me, Bella. Is Jacob there?" I couldn't keep from asking even though I knew he wouldn't have had time to get there yet.

"No," Billy answered, "Is something wrong?" I had tried to control my voice so Billy wouldn't suspect anything, but I must not have been doing as good as I thought.

Instead of answering his question I just said, "I need you to contact any member of the pack you can and tell them to get over here immediately. Billy must have gathered from my tone that I didn't want to tell him what was going on because he didn't ask.

Instead he answered, "Um, sure Bella. Anything else I can do for you?"

"No, thanks Billy, bye,"

Even though I knew it was rude, I hung up on Billy and went to wait in the living room for a pack member to arrive. After about twenty minutes that seemed like twenty years, Sam walked in. I had never really liked Sam, but now I was happy to see him. While he listened, I quickly filled him in on what I had seen.

For a long time after I finished he just stood there, deep in thought. Finally he suggested that I go to his and Emily's cottage while he called the rest of the pack to meet me there. Slightly cheered at the thought of seeing Jacob, I agreed. While Sam went to the woods near my house to phase, I walked to my truck and headed to their cottage.

As I pulled into the cottage, I saw Jared walking through the door, and Jacob leaning against a tree, his face a mask of worry. As soon as I awkwardly climbed out of the truck he was there, with his arms around me.

"Are you alright?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said.

When we were inside everyone was already crammed into the tiny kitchen waiting for us.

"So," said Sam, breaking the silence, "We are going to setup a twenty four hour watch around Bella because Victoria is obviously getting closer to her, despite us patrolling the forest. One of us will always be near her."

After this I let my mind wander away from the conversation. I knew it was all for my safety, but I couldn't help it. I still didn't know if I really loved Jacob. All through my reverie, I couldn't get rid of the nagging question, what if Edward comes back? First I told myself not to be stupid. He had left me after all, not the other way around. He was the one who told me he didn't love me anymore. Then my thoughts became rebellious. So what if he did come back? If he hadn't left I never would have had these thoughts about Jacob. I would never be considering if I loved someone besides him. Just then, Jacob interrupted my reverie by asking if I wanted him to drive me home. Happy to have more time alone with Jacob I accepted. On the way home, we drove in comfortable silence until he pulled up to my house. Then he asked me, "Bella, do you love me now, or do you still love him?"

The question was so unexpected that it took me a minute to answer. When I could I spoke quietly and looked at my hands instead of at Jacob. "I've been thinking about that a lot Jacob, and I haven't decided." I wanted to answer as truthfully as I could. "On the one hand, I don't think I'm ready to let go of Edward. But on the other hand, you've been here for me when he chose not to be. I don't know Jake; I still need some time if that's okay. What made you ask so suddenly?"

The whole time I was speaking, his face had stayed in the same unfathomable expression and I wasn't sure how my words affected him. Without answering my question, or saying anything at all, he came to open my door. After I climbed out or the truck, we walked hand in hand towards my house. I was just about to open the door, when I saw Jacob's expression. It was no longer the smooth and unreadable mask, it was now a mixture of fear and disgust and anger. Before I could ask him what was wrong, he opened the door. There sitting, on my couch with an expression that went form guilt to anger in a second, was Edward.