Lurk

It took me quite sometime to calm down.

I just let all my emotions go. Grief, remorse, sadness, happiest, regret, longing, all these emotion went through me like a current. It's always good to cry it out, you always feel better afterwards. I thought the more I cried, the more easier it would be to get over Edwards death. Then I remembered that it was my fault and I cried even harder. If I wouldn't have opened my big mouth about the wedding, Jacob wouldn't have gone off to try and get himself killed and I wouldn't have had to chase after him. Then Victoria wouldn't have came and. . .

Oh God, it was all my fault.

"Bella, sweetie, it's not you're fault," cooed Esme. I had said that outloud? "Edward would never blame you for this and he definately wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

"Esme's right, Bella. I know this is a poor choice in words but it would kill Edward to see you like this," said Carlisle.

I sniffled and hiccuped until I calmed myself down. I was thankful for Esme and Carlisle's patience. Once I started to calm down, taking deep, even breaths to relax myself. "Alot has happened while you were in your coma," said Esme.

"We held Edwards funeral a week later in our backyard, Tanya and her coven came down to pay their respects, as well as a few members from the pack," said Carlisle.

"Did. . . Did Charlie come?" I asked.

Carlisle shook his head. "Charlie did not leave your side for two weeks straight. Esme had to force him to eat a couple of times. Before the funeral, we told him that you and Edward went hiking and got mauled by a bear. He did send his condolences though."

"What did. . . you do with the ashes?" I asked, weakly, imagining the purple smoke rising from his burning body.

"We put them in a vase that belonged to Edwards mother, they're currently on a shelf in his room," explained Esme. Then she added, "where you will be staying from now. . .on, if that's okay with you."

I became so confused. "But what about Charlie?"

"Bella, we have a plan to tell Charlie the truth, including what we really are. Especially now that he knows that Jacob is a shapeshifter," said Carlisle. "After your eighteenth birthday, we would like you stay with us."

"I'm not understanding this at all," I told them, running my fingers threw my hair. Bad mistake, it reminded me how short my hair is.

That's when Alice came in, she sat on the other side of me and held my hand. "Bella, you're going to become one of us."

My heart stopped. I was going to become. . . a vampire?

"What are you thinking?" asked Alice. Which instantly reminded me of Edward, and how he use to always ask me what I was thinking because he could never hear my thoughts. Esme tightened her grip on my hand.

"But its pointless now, isn't it?" I asked, "Edward's dead. . . He was the only reason why I would have became one of you."

Just then I heard something smash in the other room, followed by a frustrated scream. I couldn't really here what was being said from the screamer, or who the screamer even was, but I could tell my the looks on Alice, Esme, and Carlisle face that whatever was being said was about me.

"I think what Rosalie is trying to say is that Edward was not your whole life," stated Esme. "There is life after him, as you found out before with Jacob. Rosalie finds it highly offensive of you thinking that becoming one of us is pointless, after everything we, as a family, have done for you." Esme had spoke in that scolding mother tone that makes you shrink down a few sizes. I immediately felt bad for my poor choice of words.

"Of course, the choice of whether you want to become one of us is up to you," said Carlisle. "But do know that we would love to have you as part of the family."

I smiled slightly and nodded. Being apart of the Cullens would mean so much to me, but without Edward . . . I just don't see them being the Cullens. I had a lot to think about.

"Before we let you go, Bella, there's one more thing we need to discuss," said Carlisle.

He didn't even have to say what it was for me to know what he wanted to discuss.

Victoria.

Esme and Carlisle left the room, leaving me alone with Alice.

"Jasper," was the first thing that Alice had said. In less than a minute, Jasper was at her side, arm around her. The embrace made me uneasy, knowing that I would never feel that kind of comfort again.

Soon enough, Jasper had taken away the uneasyness and replaced it with confidence. Which made me ask, "What's going on with Victoria?"

"She's definately lurking around Forks and La Push, but she hasn't planned an attack. Or atleast, she's not letting me see her planned attack," said Alice. "And if she comes close to planning and attack, she changes her mind! It's infuriating!"

"But Charlie, has she--?"

"No," said Alice. "We thought she might go after him, but she's never even stepped foot in your house. Either she knew you weren't going to be there or--"

"She's trying to set me up," I completed for her. Victoria wants me to think that it'll be safe for me to go home, no wonder Carlisle and Esme offered me a place to stay.

"Exactly!" exclaimed Jasper. "You don't need to worry about Charlie, he's staying up in La Push. He's well protected and guarded there, the werewolves are constantly doing patrols around their territory making sure there's no surprise attacks." Jasper seemed very excited at this game of cat and mouse. His golden eyes were lit up in excitement as he and Alice updated me on Victoria and her movements.

"So, what's next?" I asked. "What's the plan?

"We go about things as if Victoria isn't waiting for a chance to attack you," answered Alice. "We give her a sense of false security, make her think you're unprotected and once she attacks--"

"We get her," finished Jasper.

I shook my head. "It won't be anytime soon," I whispered. "She wants me to suffer."

"What? What do you mean, Bella?" asked Alice.

"It's why she let me live, she wants me to feel what she felt when James was killed. She wants me to suffer." I started to cry again.

Alice threw her arms around me and Jasper overwhelmed me with a sense of calmness. "Don't worry, Bella, we will avenge Edward's death. You won't have to suffer for long. We'll find a way to kill Victoria."