Chapter 11

The Picture of Dorian Gray

My heart was still beating furiously in my chest, the adrenaline coursing through my veins, and Ted Tonks was kissing me. After a brief pause on my part, in which my mind finally began registered what was going on, I allowed myself to kiss him back, to seek comfort from within his embrace and shelter within his passion. My arms clenched onto his burgundy polo, which I had playfully teased him about only an hour ago before- before everything had come tumbling down around me.

It was hard to come to terms with what had just occurred. But I forced my mind to not focus on what was going on in the world around me; and rather to center my thoughts on the fact that Ted Tonks was kissing me.

The touch of his lips on mine was tender, but I could feel the yearning that lay just underneath the surface of the chaste kiss. In response a feeling was beginning to kindle within myself, and I craved to deepen the kiss; to fully taste him. However before I could act on my impulses, a quizzical voice penetrated through the haze that had developed around my mind, "Is that you Ted?"

As Ted and I jumped back from each other, I heard a crash as something fell upon the ground. Chagrinned I turned to see a plump middle aged woman with a friendly face, marked by laugh lines and crow's feet, bending over to pick up the hamper and laundry which had fallen out across the ground.

Once she had placed all the clothes back into the hamper, Ted's mother straightened back up towards us and gave Ted and me an amused look. Ted had begun to rub the back of his neck nervously, as a blush spread across his cheeks. "Mum this is Andromeda Black. Andromeda this is my mum, Helen Tonks."

His mother began to approach with a bright smile on her face until she could clearly see us. I noticed the smile melt off her as she took in our torn and dirty clothes.

She rushed towards my side, "Oh my God Ted she's bleeding."

Having completely forgotten about the cut I had received during the explosion, I gingerly raised my hand to feel the cut. The wound had started to clot and it wasn't actively bleeding anymore. Ted's mother stood beside me forgotten, as I turned anxiously towards Ted, "Merlin you're not injured are you?"

Ted approached me with a half-hearted smile, "Only some bumps and bruises but nothing to worry about." He lifted his wand once he'd reached me and with a flick of it, I felt the skin begin to knit together. Once the cut had closed, Ted held up my chin, and gently with his thumb brushed away the dried blood. Warmth radiated from his gentle caress and I found myself instinctively leaning into his touch.

Suddenly I heard a small cough from behind us and I jumped back again, the blush I felt radiating off my cheeks, intensifying. I must be making a wonderful impression on Mrs. Tonks; I thought to myself bitterly.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Tonks," I muttered as I turned back to face her.

"Don't be sorry dear, it's just… what happened to both of you? It looks like you've just escaped a warzone."

At her statement I felt tears begin to form. She was right, we had escaped a warzone. I couldn't hold back my tears when I thought about Diagon Alley, which had been such familiar place to me my entire life, suddenly becoming a warzone. I turned and met Ted's eyes, searching for what to do in this situation. I knew his mother was a muggle and I didn't know what to tell her and what to keep hidden.

I was suddenly reminded of the fact that Ted probably had no idea of what was going on. I was assuming this had to do with what Tom Riddle had spoken about at the Knights of Walpurgis meeting that Bellatrix had dragged me to, but that was merely an educated guess on my part. But to Ted this must has been so sudden and unexpected. He didn't know there was some crazy person who was going by the name Lord Voldemort that was rallying the youths of pure-blooded society with drugs to listen to his crazy diatribes on blood purity.

Backing away from Ted and his mother I lowered my hand to quickly swipe at my eyes. I didn't want either of them to notice the tears that were beginning to cascade down my face. Biting my lip nervously, I threw one last look at Ted, "I should be going…" his eyes widened at my comment and he gazed at me almost pleadingly. I knew he wanted me to stay but I couldn't. "If my mum has heard, she's going to be worried if I don't get back soon."

Ted minutely nodded his head accepting my explanation for my sudden departure. Turning towards his mother I tried to force a smile onto my face, "I'm so sorry to leave suddenly Mrs. Tonks and for disrupting you at home."

Mrs. Tonks didn't look angry or annoyed at me, instead she seemed confused and worry flooded her gaze as she peered towards me. Hesitantly she too nodded her head, "Not at all Andromeda, you're always welcome here. I hope I have an opportunity to meet you again in…" She paused momentarily searching for the right words, "better circumstances."

At her comment I felt a small unforced smile begin to form. She seemed so kind and understanding. I turned towards Ted, unable to meet his eyes. "Do you have any floo powder?"

He walked towards the fireplace and grabbed a handful of powder from a box that sat upon the mantelpiece. I took the powder from him and quickly made my way to the fireplace. It was still lit from when we had appeared and I speedily threw in the powder and said, "Melrose Hall." Mortification was beginning to drown me as I rehashed all the events that had just taken place. I couldn't believe that Ted's mum had caught us kissing in her foyer. Before I was transported back home I heard Mrs. Tonks say to Ted, "What a pretty girl," and I felt an inkling of relief. At least the first thing she said to Ted wasn't, "What a harlot."

When I arrived at Melrose Hall, everyone was still out. A wave of exhaustion washed over me, and I quickly made my way up to my room and collapsed onto my bed. The minute my head touched my pillow I fell into a deep sleep.

The following week found me back at Hogwarts. I had never felt so relieved to be away from Melrose Hall. The events that had occurred in Diagon Alley had forced me to confront some harsh truths about Bellatrix. It was as if suddenly I had slipped beyond the veneer she wore and seen something hideous. I could relate to the painter Basil Hallward when he was confronted with his painting of Dorian Gray eighteen years after he'd painted it. The painting showed the true condition of Dorian's soul, displaying all the blood-chilling acts of the owner, while Dorian's face bared no trace of his evil deeds, and still resembled his younger angelic self. Evil is not always visible to the naked eye.

Bellatrix was a murderer; but what was even worse in my opinion, what chilled my blood, was the fact that Bellatrix showed no remorse. Instead she appeared to delight in the killing.

I couldn't face my sister anymore. Whenever I saw her I was overtaken by nausea, as my memory flashed back to the massacre that I had witnessed. The terrified screams, the palpable terror, and the lethal spells would hit me like a ton of bricks whenever I was near her.

Although the wizarding community had been thrown into mass confusion and terror, my signing ceremony had been held as previous planned. Niall and I had stood before all the members of pure-blood society and signed our engagement contract as if our world had not been violently thrown upside down. When Bellatrix had come up to me to give me her congratulations it had taken all my strength not to turn away from her and run away. Unable to look at her, I had meekly accepted her best wishes while looking down at my dress robes, which I had been unnecessarily adjusting out of nervousness.

Afterwards I spent the remaining days of Easter Break avoiding her. I didn't know what to say to her, how to express my anger, sadness, and confusion.

I also ignored the letters that Ted sent me. Every day, following the events that had occurred in Diagon Alley, I was greeted by Ted's owl carrying a letter for me. I had excitedly read them, but when I sat down to write back I couldn't find the words.

Self-hatred began to flood my system as I saw myself beginning to distance myself from Ted. I knew it was a mistake and I knew that I wasn't being fair to him, but I felt like I couldn't control my actions. The shock had shutdown my system. Looking back now, I know that I was being foolish and allowing fear to take control over my life.

When I returned to Hogwarts I started hanging out at the rock next to the lake again. As I'd become closer to Ted over the past few months, I'd slowly stopped seeking out the solitude that the rock had previously provided me.

On the first Sunday back from break I had woken up earlier than normal. All my roommates had been dead to the world, and I was suddenly overtaken by the desire for the fresh brisk air outside. I quietly padded my way out of the castle, heading towards the lake.

Perched on the rock, I meditatively looked out at the undulating surface of the loch. The sun had risen about an hour ago and the light reflected off the water in dancing patterns.

Suddenly my thoughts were broken when I felt someone take a seat next to me. Glancing over I saw that it was Ted and my heart constricted. I wanted to get up and hide but I had nowhere to go.

"Hi." I didn't take my eyes off the lake as I let my greeting hang between us.

I felt rather than saw Ted's eyes gazing at me, and after awhile he broke the silence. "You have been ignoring me." The tone of his voice was so hitched with emotion that it immediately pulled me away from the lake. I felt the underlying hurt in his words and it suffocated me.

His normally jovial face was marred by worry and he didn't have his usual lopsided grin.

"I'm not ignoring you," I pathetically murmured back. My voice held no conviction and it sounded wilted.

"Bullshit." Was his only reply.

Suddenly I felt impulse take over me and without a second thought I leaned my head against Ted's shoulder. Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath of the brisk April air. Ted's shoulder had tensed up when I'd first laid down my head, but it seemed as if he was slowly relaxing into my unexpected touch.

"Please believe me," I whispered to him, the intimacy driving me to try and make him understand, "It wasn't the kiss."

I felt pressure on the crown of my head as Ted begun to lean his head on top of mine. "Then why?" He whispered back. I felt the yearning and pain within his question.

Closing my eyes I took in his natural scent. Ted didn't wear any fancy colognes and he always smelled clean and fresh. Letting his scent envelope me I tried to squash the memories of that day in Diagon Alley.

"I'm scared." The words hung heavy in the air as neither of us acknowledged them for awhile, we merely sat in silence.

Ted waited for me to elaborate but when he figured I wasn't going to expand on my statement he impatiently asked me what I was scared of.

"That's a stupid question."

"No it's not. There are a billion things you could be scared of. For all I know you might be deathly afraid of ferns. There's actually a medical term for a fear of ferns; it's called Pteridophobia. So I wouldn't know where to start when trying to figure out what you're afraid of."

I rolled my eyes but didn't bother to move away from him. As we sat in silence I felt the urge to open up to Ted, to let him into my chaotic thoughts. "I'm afraid of what just happened last week, of what's going to happen. I don't know what's going on and I'm terrified that this marks the beginning of something terrible."

My voice began to quiver as I continued and I felt tears begin to build. Ted grasped my hand as I continued, gently squeezing it, "We saw people die around us and when you read history books and memorize the names and dates of massacres you're disconnected to that atrocity, you never think it's going to happen to you, until it actually does. I'm terrified that I might see more massacres or that I will die young. I'm terrified that my life is going to change radically and I won't have the opportunities to do what I actually want to do."

I could've gone on for hours about what I was afraid of, but I felt emotionally drained. By the end of my outburst, tears were spilling out across my cheeks and I felt my melancholic thoughts weighing heavily upon me. Ted shifted under me and I suddenly felt his arms encircle me.

"It's going to be okay Dromeda, because I'll protect you; I won't let anything bad happen to you." And although I knew deep down inside of me that Ted's promise was not necessarily one he could guarantee one-hundred percent no matter how much he wanted to; I felt my fear begin to ebb away for the first time in days because it was Ted making the promise to me and I was being held and being comforted by Ted. Somewhere inside of me I knew at that moment that Ted was going to be my savior.

A/N: Yes I do realize how long it took me to write this chapter, and I apologize. This chapter was hard to write because it was so depressing for me personally. There's a lot of my own personal baggage in this chapter. Anyway please let me know what you thought about the chapter! All opinions and comments are welcome. Reviews motivate me to write faster. The reason why The Arranged State gets priority when I have time to write is because I have a lot more reviewers for that story. So I feel like more people care if I update that story faster than Blank Canvas. Also I give out amazing hypothetical girl scout cookies to reviewers. Yes, I'm not beneath bribing.