Sooo... I'm a fan of HDM and I have been for a while. I had a sudden vivid daydream about this fic today, and decided to commit a little time and work to make this a full-blown story. :D

This fic is set in modern time in a world not quite like Lyra's or Will's. And, like everything else I write, is quite depressing. ^.^

Enjoy!

Rosalie lay on her back staring up at the sky. She really didn't want to do anything really, just sit and enjoy the day by herself. She sighed happily as the sun warmed soaked into her body. The field she was lying in was usually always deserted; students didn't usually come to this part of the school. She didn't even flinch as a large bat crawled onto her belly.

"It's a nice day, isn't it?" she asked the bat, not moving her eyes from the slowly passing clouds. "Don't you think, Tyxander?"

Her dæmon snuggled deep into her sweater. "Yes," he agreed. "But we should be going soon," he said unhappily. "Tyler and Analise will be looking all over for us."

"We don't have to go," she suggested at the mention of her brother. "We can just stay here forever." She laughed at her own lax attitude. She had homework to do, tests to study for… all things that she did not want to do. She stretched her arms above her head as Tyxander scrambled onto the ground.

She heaved herself to her feet and looked around. The field was still empty, the trees encircling it on either side acting as effective barriers to keep most people out. She picked up her blue backpack off the ground, dusting off the dry grass that clung to the bottom.

Tyxander changed into a large dark silver wolf: his favorite form. He shook his white ruff and bounded to her side. "I'll race you," he challenged, his yellow eyes narrowed playfully.

Rosalie laughed. "No way I'll beat you, Ty! Maybe if you were a duck or something--"

"Or a turtle," he teased, cutting her off. She leapt at her dæmon, aiming to grab his fluffy tail, but he jumped out of the way at the last second and dashed across the clearing back towards school, leaving Rosalie to chase after him.

As they emerged from the trees, Rosalie caught sight of her brother, Tyler, looking very worried and annoyed at the same time. He ran a hand through his dark blonde hair. His dæmon, a red fox named Analise, caught sight of them and nudged his leg, motioning in their direction. Tyler glared in Rosalie's direction and came marching over.

"Where were you, Rosalie?" he asked, barely contained anger in his voice. Analise at his feet was flicking her tail from side-to-side.

"Me and Ty were just in the field," she muttered looking at her feet. Tyxander became a mouse and crept up her jeans and into her hands. "We just wanted to look around for a bit…" She trailed off.

"We were so worried about you two," Tyler raged. "What would mom have done if I would have come home without you?" He dropped a hand to rest it on Analise's head, trying to calm himself.

"Well, I'm here now," Rosalie snapped. "Can we go now?" Tyxander changed into an barn owl and flew to her shoulder, his dark eyes contrasting sharply with his white face. He opened his beak and let out a soft hiss. Analise looked up at him, unimpressed.

Tyler let out a sigh, and hefted his backpack higher on his shoulder. "Fine," he agreed. "I'm sorry, Rose. I'm just really stressed out about my chemistry test."

Rosalie gave her brother a hug, which he returned with an awkward pat on her back. Analise at his feet nuzzled the now ferret-formed Tyxander.

As Tyler and Rosalie walked back home, Rosalie thought back over the conversation. Their mother always put Tyler in charge; him being the oldest at fifteen, while she was only thirteen. Rosalie resented being the baby of the family, but was happy that she had such a great big brother as Tyler.

Tyxander dashed up into her arms. His whiskered face tickled hers as he whispered, "Analise isn't mad anymore."

Rosalie looked down at her brother's dæmon. She was padding along, nose to the ground with her bushy red tail swishing. Rosalie felt a little jealous at beautiful fur; her own red hair was dark, almost brown, and always tangled. Tyxander sensed her mood and shifted into an ocelot in her arms, making her marvel at his beautifully patterned pelt. He gave her a rough lick on her chin with his cat tongue.

When they arrived home, the sun was already starting to set, painting the ground in long shadows. To her dismay, Rosalie's mother, Kara, was waiting in the doorway with her dæmon bristling at her feet. She did not look amused. Rosalie felt Tyxander give a frightened little mew at the sight of Kara's tiger dæmon.

"Hey, Mom!" Tyler waved and ran up to their mother before she could say anything. "Sorry we're so late. I had to ask my science teacher a question."

"Oh," Kara said, letting her surprise show. "Well, try to call or let me know next time, alright? Tajan and I were worried." Her dæmon leaned into her legs and let out a rumbling purr. Analise and Tyxander padded up to Tajan and touched noses with him. Rosalie felt a flicker of echoed happiness from her dæmon, and laughed happily as she embraced her mother.

"What's for dinner?" she queried, sniffing the air for any trace of scent.

"I'm making spaghetti," Kara responded with a pleasant smile. "You and Tyler's favorite."

Rosalie's stomach rumbled in happiness as she thought of dinner. Her mother made the best sauce in the world. "Is Dad home yet?"

Kara's face creased in worry the smallest bit. "Not yet," she answered, attempting to be nonchalant about it, though she was clearly upset. "I haven't heard from him all day."

Rosalie's father was a scientist for the government and often worked late. She didn't really know what it was that he actually did at his work since he was under oath to not reveal any data of his research, even to his family, but she was always peppering him with questions anyway just to see if he'd let anything slip.

"That's weird," Tyler commented. His dæmon looked up at him and nuzzled his leg comfortingly. Tyler stroked her thick fur absently, then walked inside the house, calling "I'm going to do my homework, alright?" over his shoulder.

"Me, too, I guess." Even to herself, her voice sounded dejected. "Tell me when Dad calls, okay?"

"Sure, honey," her mother whispered, ruffling her hair with one hand. They walked into the house together, Tyxander attempting to bait Tajan into playing. The older dæmon paid no attention to Ty's advances, keeping his yellow eyes on the doorway with his tail tip flicking, Tyxander's little ocelot paws battering him the whole way.

The inside of house was simple yet elegant. A soft couch and a few squashy armchairs filled the interior, all in a soft shade of beige. A television set dominated one wall while a line of pictures swept down the opposite side. Moving up to one, she saw that it was her family portrait from years ago. Her father, Aaron, sat in front, his mockingbird dæmon sitting on his shoulder with her beak in the air. Kara sat next to him, with one hand in Aaron's and the other on Tajan's broad shoulders. She smiled as she saw Analise wasn't fixed yet, and she had the form of a colorful-skinned lizard with her tail curled around Tyler's head.

"There's me!" Ty pointed out in his hummingbird shape. He poked his long narrow beak to the picture of himself but cat-formed. He shifted his present form to match, a long-haired black cat with green eyes. He jumped into Rosalie's arms purring.

"We were young there," Rosalie noticed. "Maybe nine or ten. I can hardly remember back that far." She reached out with one hand to touch her own smiling face.

"Rose, honey," her mother called from the kitchen. "Can you go finish up your homework?"

"Sure, Mom," she grumbled, and turned to mount the stairs and head to her room, Tyxander bounding along before her. He leapt up and gave the door handle a whack, opening it. Rosalie dropped her bag onto her bed and sunk onto her pillow. "I don't want to do geometry," she complained.

"If we do it quickly we can go play," Ty suggested, batting at a rolled up sock. He overshot it, and went soaring into the wall banging his head on the floorboards.

Rosalie winced at their shared pain. "You aren't used to being a cat," she joked. "Maybe you should be something more suited to you, like a toad."

Tyxander rushed up the bed and into her arms, shifting into a soft-furred rabbit. "Yes, but if I fixed as a toad you would be embarrassed."

Rosalie laughed. "I'll be fine with whatever you settle as," she murmured, stroking his soft ears. "Even if you are a toad or a cockroach or anything." She continued her gentle caressing. "Almost everyone else's dæmon has already fixed, haven't they? We're one of the last."

Tyxander looked up at her with a large brown eye. "Why do you want to be like everyone else?" he demanded. "We're different-- unique."

Rosalie sighed. "I know. But Tyler's dæmon fixed when he was twelve and Mom's did when she was younger than that."

Ty shifted back into a cat and pawed at her face. "We're unique," he repeated. "Don't worry about what everyone else thinks."

She hugged her dæmon close. "You're right, of course."

"Of course!" He narrowed his green eyes at her. "Now let's get that homework done, or I really will turn into a cockroach and run all over your feet until you do."

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled, but sat up and fished her notebook out of her bag.

Rosalie had just gotten to the last problem on her homework when she heard a car pull up in her driveway. Thinking nothing of it, she continued on, trying to remember the formula for the circumference of a circle. The doorbell rang, loud and shrill against the relative silence of her room.

Ty looked up from his curled up position at the foot of her bed, his wolf ears erect. "Someone's here," he announced unnecessarily. Normally, Rosalie would have laughed at her dæmon's lapse in attention but something held her back… a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

She heard a scream from downstairs.

Rosalie sat up so fast her papers scattered. Tyxander became the black cat again, pelt bristling in panic and fear. He jumped down from the bed and raced out ahead of her as she ran out of her room in panic.

Tyler was in the hall, looking down the stairs. Analise was flattened out on the ground, her breath coming in sharp, quick pants.

"What's happening?" Rosalie asked her brother desperately. Tyler didn't respond; his face was drained of blood and his mouth was hanging open as if he had just witnessed a horrible accident.

Analise looked up from her position on the ground. "It's Aaron…" she whispered. Rosalie was too filled with horror and dismay to wonder at the fact that someone else's dæmon was speaking to her. At once, Tyxander's pelt turned pure white.

"No…" she whispered through unmoving lips. "No!" She raced down the stairs and into the kitchen. A scientist stood in the doorway, awkwardly looking at the scene in front of him. Rosalie barely glanced at him before shoving him aside in her mad rush to get to her mother.

Tajan had curled himself around Kara's slight frame as she wept, her body shuddering with the force of her emotion. Rosalie went up to her and shouted, "Mom! Mother!" and yanked at her arms, careful to avoid touching Kara's dæmon.

Kara looked up at Rosalie with a tear-stained face. "He's gone," she whispered. "He's gone." She buried her face back into Tajan's beautiful pelt, and the dæmon gave her a comforting lick on the cheek.

Rosalie turned to face the scientists loitering in the doorway. She felt too shocked by the suddenness of it all to cry. "How?" she demanded.

He bowed his head. "There was an accident at the lab," he murmured gently. "Your father was in the wrong place at the wrong time." His robin dæmon twittered and hid her beak in his short hair.

Rosalie felt her heart rate and breathing accelerate until she was hyperventilating. The room spun around her, blurring into incomprehensible shapes. Ty at her feet turned into a badger and tried to support her weight as she tilted, then slowly slid to her knees, the tears finally spilling over onto her cheeks as her dæmon tried uselessly to console her.

"Starra and Aaron," he wailed. "Gone forever!" He shifted into a mouse, his most helpless form, and curled his skinny tail around her neck. He nuzzled the back of her neck as he hid beneath her red locks.

"Who are you?" she choked out to the scientist, as if she cared.

The man dipped his head. "My name is Dr. Steward. I was a friend to your father. He was a kind and gentle man, always willing to help out others." He dropped a hand awkwardly onto her shoulders. "I'm sure he loved you and your brother very much."

The words sounded very hollow to Rosalie. "Where is he?" she rasped. "Where's my father's body?"

The scientist looked strangely nervous. "He's already at a funeral home. The paramedics took him there after…" He trailed off. His dæmon's red breast looked like the brightest thing in the world as she preened her feathers, seeming not to notice the tension in the air.

Rosalie nodded blankly. She felt as if she couldn't grasp the idea of her father being dead. It was like she was trying to grab a stone sphere covered in oil, too slick to touch even when it was sitting right in front of her.

"You can leave now," Kara said from her dæmon's embrace. "Thank you for telling us." Her voice sounded distant, as if she didn't care what she said.

Dr. Steward dipped his head, and made a quick retreat. Rosalie heard his car fade away into the distance. She scooted closer to her mother, and Kara wrapped one arm around her, keeping the other firmly on Tajan's pelt.

Kara took a shuddering breath. "We're going to be fine. We're going to be fine." She chanted over and over again like a stuck record-player.

Tyler drifted into the kitchen and sunk to the ground with the rest of his family. Analise went to Tajan and pressed her black nose into his striped fur. The tiger dæmon ran his tail down her back reassuringly.

Rosalie thought distantly over what Dr. Steward had said. Why hadn't his dæmon reflected what he said? Why did she nonchalantly smooth her feathers while he was reflecting his misery for the death of a friend? Rosalie was instantly suspicious of the seemingly sad man who had claimed to be Aaron's friend. She vowed silently to herself and to Tyxander that they would find out how exactly her father had died. She felt her dæmon's acceptance as surely as she felt her own.

Together the family sat on the floor and wished that the day had never happened in the first place.

So... yeah. Depressing. It will get more cheerful though. Pinky swear! :D

Shadow