11-26-2009

AN: Well, it's time for another update. Happy Thanksgiving! Rodent of Unusual Size, bean21, Baroness Orc, 3DGandBubblez: I am so thankful for your reviews! Anything in this story that you'd particularly like to see? Just tip me off. ;) I still don't own anything except the idea of all of these lovely men in the same place…

Discouraged, the men took a break to come up with a new plan. So Edward Cullen, Sir Percy, Mr. Darcy, and Han Solo were all exploring the castle under the frazzled guidance of Cogsworth.

"No, no, don't touch that!" Cogswoth cried as Sir Percy snatched a sword from the hands of an innocently bystanding suit of armor. The suit of armor shook its fist at Percy who laughed inanely and swung his sword around with panache.

"Engarde," Darcy cried, grabbing another sword that was mounted on the wall.

"Sink me," Percy drawled, "But I'm ready when you are, good fellow!"

Darcy struck towards Percy, but Percy ducked. Although Sir Percy was a tall, broad-shouldered man, he was nimble. Darcy's man advantage was his streamlined clothing and the fact that his sword was lighter than Percy's weapon. Thus began a mock, but very athletic, duel through the halls of the castle. The other two gentlemen followed along, Edward rolling his eyes and Han trying to pick up on the swordsmen's techniques.

"Cease, halt, desist," Cogsworth bellowed after them. "You'll break something!"

Cogsworth called to them in despair, but the League of Gentlemanly Gentlemen carried on, ignoring him.

After swashbuckling and nearly causing Cogsworth to have a mental breakdown for half an hour, the only thing that the League had broken was a sweat. Darcy and Percy were evenly matched as duelists and Edward and Han tried to get in on the action as they raced along the corridors of the castle in pursuit. Suddenly as the swashbucklers rounded a corner, they nearly crashed into a very attractive young woman who wore a simple blue dress. She was very pretty with large, chocolate colored eyes and brown hair that kept trying to slip free of its hair-ribbon.

Percy and Darcy, still in motion, fell toward her. In a flash, Edward appeared at her side, grinning as he lifted the woman out of harm's way. Mr. Darcy and Sir Percy slammed to the floor.

As the panting duelers helped each other up, Edward placed the astonished woman back on her feet.

Without missing a beat, Han Solo sidled up to her. "Hello, little lady," he said, smoothly cocking one eyebrow. "I'm Han Solo, the fastest pilot in six galaxies."

"Oh, hello," she blinked. "I'm Belle."

Sir Percy and Mister Darcy bowed immediately, swords in hand, still breathing heavily from their athletic display of bravado.

"Nice to meet you," Edward nodded debonairly. "I'm Edward Cullen."

"I am Mister Darcy. "It is a pleasure to be making your acquaintance, miss," Mister Darcy said, kissing her hand politely.

"An honor, madam," Sir Percy said drawled graciously. "And I am Sir Percival Blakeney, Baronet."

"Thank you," Belle said warmly, but a little uncomfortably. "When did you arrive here?" she asked, trying to end the awkward silence that had descended.

"Oh, er, late evening last, miss," Mister Darcy replied.

"How was your journey here?" She asked again.

"Faster than the Millennium Falcon at light speed," Han said. Belle looked faintly confused, while Darcy and Edward exchanged a knowing glance. Han had told them all about his galaxy the evening before in what they were sure was a highly stylized account.

"It was as swift as it was pleasant, madam," Percy drawled, jovially smoothing things over.

"I see." Belle still appeared confused: she opened her mouth to ask a question, but then thought better of it. The spark of curiosity, however, did not leave her eyes. "I should let you get back to your duel," Belle said, arching one eyebrow. "I was just exploring the castle."

"Odd's life," Sir Percy exclaimed, "That is just what we were doing also. Will you allow us to accompany you?" He asked, offering his arm. Han, Darcy, and Edward all stared at Belle with puppy-dog eyes.

"Of course," Belle said with a slight smile as she slipped her arm through Sir Percy's.

With note of challenge in the glance the four men shared, the contest to see who could be the most gentlemanly gentleman began. Edward raced ahead to open the door for Belle, while Sir Percy escorted her through it.

"Indeed, and what are your favorite pastimes, miss?" Mr. Darcy said, not only making conversation to be gentlemanly, but also because he was becoming genuinely interested and beguiled with the young woman.

"I feed the chickens and take care of our horse, Philippe, and help my father with his inventions. Some of the things he makes up are wonderful. And I go to town every day," she sighed, "to buy food at the market. And I often stop in at the bookseller's," Belle added brightly.

"You are a voracious reader, then?" Darcy asked.

"Yes," Belle laughed wistfully. "I am. But right now, I feel right in the middle of an adventure."

"Your first time in an enchanted castle?" Percy said, eyeing her through his quizzing glass.

Belle gave Percy another of her cocked-eyebrow, wryly smiling looks that showed her curiosity and amusement. "Yes, it is. Though if only…"

"If only what?" Edward prompted. He had been hanging on Belle's every word.

"If only my father were here," Belle sighed, eyes distant. "He's probably worried sick about me, locked up in this castle with—well, anyhow," Belle said, changing the subject with forced vivacity, "there's not much that I can do to change things. What's down this way?" Belle led them down a hallway.

Popping out of a door down said hallway, Mrs. Potts called, "How would you like a spot of luncheon, dearies? I have a lovely mincemeat pie fresh from the oven. Just follow me."

A small dinning room had been set up for their convenience. Belle, still attached to Percy's arm, noticed right away the subtle tussle between Edward, Han, and Mr. Darcy as they fought a non-verbal duel over who was to pull out her chair complete with a three-way staring contest won by Edward. Percy coked an eyebrow at them as Belle stifled a laugh. Finally, Belle was seated at the table, with all three men pushing in her chair.

As the meal began, Han looked to Sir Percy, Edward, and Mr. Darcy for guidance. Although the place settings were simple, each wanted to be as punctilious as possible. Edward nearly burst out laughing at the sight of Han daintily holding his cup and saucer, pinkie aloft, a sheepish smile on his face.

"This stuff is as delicious as fresh Tatooine sand-lizard," Han said, trying to make conversation."

Everyone stared at him for a moment, baffled.

"Why of course it is," covered Mister Darcy. "This ragout is quite comparable. Actually, it excels."

"Odds fish," Percy drawled, "I have never tasted a more superior dish in all me life."

"It is good," Belle added, "But I should be going. I am sure that you gentlemen had many things to do this afternoon."

"Well, not really--" Edward began. He was interrupted by a glare from Sir Percy.

"It has been most excellent dining with you, miss," Mister Darcy said, pulling out Belle's chair. All the men rose to their feet as she stood.

"Oh, thank you," Belle said as she headed to the door. Edward opened it for her. Have a lovely afternoon."

"Thank you, you also," Percy drawled. As soon as Belle was gone, the men all sank back into their chairs.

"Why did you shush me?" Edward demanded of Percy. "All I was going to do was to ask her if she would like to spend the afternoon with us."

"Here is a general rule," Percy replied, "do not press yourself into a lady's company. I could tell that she was beginning to weary of our escapades, so I let her excuse herself politely, instead of having to decline the invitation."

"I knew that," sulked Edward. "I need to go hunting. Vampires need to eat something. There is a large, rather unchecked population of wolves in the area…"

"Go on, then Edward," Sir Percy said pleasantly.

"I'm going to find a target for some blaster practice," Han mumbled, and trucked outside.

It was only Sir Percy and Mister Darcy left in the room. "Darcy, how do you feel about a gentlemanly game of cards?"

~*~

Filled with sinking despair, the Beast had watched in his mirror how gentlemanly his guests had treated Belle all morning. He had seen their manners: hold open doors, seat ladies, keep conversations pleasant, daintily hold teacups, don't slurp soup. The Beast would do all of these things and do them better. He would be the one to win Belle's love. He would be the most gentlemanly gentleman the world had ever seen, even if he wasn't technically a man.