Dan Humphrey's life was a mess. Almost as messy as the rest of his family's. He entered the Van der Humphrey apartment, grimacing just thinking about the name. He slung his bag onto a chair, glad that no one was there. Pouring himself a glass of orange juice, he made his way into his new room, bag tucked under one arm.

He pushed the door open, letting the bag fall down at his feet as he took in the sight on his bed. Serena was sprawled across his mattress, a small child about a year old snuggled up next to her, snoring contentedly. Dan made his way to his newly acquired oak desk, reading the note that Lily and his dad had left for him.

Dan and Serena, we had to leave early for spring break or else the flight would have been canceled. The little boy is my sister's son. His name is Jay, short for Jesse, we couldn't take him so we're hoping that you two will be able to take care of him. His mom is in a rehabilitation center and when we come back we owe you.

He put the letter down, staring at the two people on his bed. The sight was slightly unnerving. Serena looked exactly like how he had imagined her if they were to have a child together. He shook the thoughts from his head, nudging Serena gently to wake her up.

Her emerald eyes blinked open, staring up at him. "Hi." She whispered, detaching herself from the baby to get up.

"Hey. We need to talk." He pointed at the little brown haired boy, before pointing outside.

She nodded, following him. As much as she hated the way their family just left, it was kind of nice, just the two of them alone. With a baby. "What's up?"

"Why did our parents leave us with a baby?" Dan asked bluntly.

"Because his mom is in rehab?" Serena yawned, quickly covering her mouth. "Come on, Dan. Its only for a week. We can handle a baby for 7 days."

"You and me? I don't know how to change diapers and you go out every night. Explain to me how we're going to do this?"

She glared at him briefly before combing her fingers through her long blonde hair, thinking. "I just won't go out. You'll learn how to change diapers and we'll just stay off Gossip Girl's radar."

"Fine." He turned on the spot, heading for her room.

"Where are you going?" She called after him.

"Since you took over my room, I think its only right that I take over your room." He replied, shutting the door behind him. Seconds later, the door was wrenched open and he was dragged off the bed.

"Go sleep in your room."

"Jay's in my room."

"Go sleep on the couch."

"Your bed's comfortable." He protested, the nights he had spent there the previous year gave him an idea of how soothing the thousand thread count sheets were against his bare skin.

"Don't care." She pulled him to his feet, shoving him out the door. "I don't care if you've been in there before, you're not allowed in my room. Now or ever."

Hurt flickered across his face, making her regret yelling at him. He walked into one of the guest rooms, slamming the door. A few seconds later, the sound of a baby crying made him stagger from the bed groaning.

He went back to his room, his face lighting up the slightest bit when he saw Serena rocking the baby. "Shh Jay, be a good boy and go back to sleep, okay?" She cooed, a triumphant smile reaching her lips when his eyes fluttered close.

Dan crossed his arms, leaning against the door. He watched silently as Serena tucked the covers around the little boy, kissing him on the forehead. She turned around, startled when she saw him there. "Dan..I-"

"We can talk outside. I don't want to wake him up again." He let her walk past him towards the living room before shutting the door quietly.

"Dan, I didn't mean to be that way. I was just..I don't know how to handle living with you like this."

He nodded, his arms hanging loosely at his sides. "I get it. We just have to live by ourselves for a week. No big deal."

"Right. Yeah."

--

Jay crawled across the carpeted floor, laughing happily as he threw balls at Dan. Serena sat on the couch, waiting for her mom to pick up.

"Is she picking up?" Dan asked, rubbing his head where the little boy hit him.

"No, it keeps going to voicemail. Did they tell you where they're going?" She snapped her phone shut, irritated.

"Somewhere sunny. That's all I heard." He said, looking through the diaper bag Lily had left. "Isn't it like time to feed Jay or something?"

She looked at the baby, who reached his arms up for her. Hoisting him in her lap, she tickled his tummy. "I don't know. He isn't crying, so I think we're good."

"Cool." Dan got to his feet, heading for the kitchen. "I'll make some food. What does he like?"

"Dan, he's one. He can't eat regular food." She pointed out the obvious as Jay slid off her lap and back onto the carpet.

"Right, uh, is there a bottle in the diaper bag?"

She fished through it, only to stop when Jay burst into tears, his face scrunching up. "No, no, come on Jay. Don't cry."

Dan clapped his hands to his ears, grimacing. "Make it stop."

"How?"

"Didn't you take care of Eric while you were younger?"

"Didn't you take care of Jenny!?"

Jay walked towards Serena, arms outstretched, still bawling. "I think he wants to be picked up." Dan said, walking towards them.

She picked up the squirming baby , frowning when he continued crying. "He's still crying. What am I doing wrong?"

Seeing the look of despair on her face, he took Jay from her, sniffing his diaper. "Ugh, I think I found the problem. Here, smell."

She reeled back, grimacing. "Okay, do we have to wash him or something?"

"Yeah, its like 8 and he needs sleep soon so lets just wash him." Dan carried Jay to the bathroom, trying not to inhale the fumes.

Jay started to squirm the second he caught sight of the bathtub. "No...bath!"

"Yes bath, little man." He looked behind him for Serena. "Can you fill up the bathtub?"

"Yeah, you sure you can handle Jesse?"

"Me Jay!" His nose wrinkled at the sound of his name. "No Jesse."

"Okay, okay." Dan laughed, ridding Jay of his small shirt, leaving him in his diapers.

"Okay, tub's all ready, I don't think he'll want to go in alone though." She looked through the diaper bag pulling out a fresh diaper and wet wipes.

"What do you mean?"

"He's one. He can't swim." She rubbed her temples, unsure of what she was about to say. "I think you need to go in with him."

He stared at her, the room suddenly silent. After a while, a smile appeared on his lips. "If you wanted to get me naked, you could have just asked."

She blushed, shaking her head and taking Jay away from him. "Don't talk about that in front of him."

"Talk about what?" He retorted, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Never mind." She turned away from him, laying Jay down on the counter. She pulled at the train stickers on the sides of the diaper, letting the diaper fall open. "Dan!"

"What?" He rushed over, his pristine yellow button down gone.

"Wipe his butt!"

"What!? No!"

--

Dan sat in the bathtub, frowning at Serena. "I can't believe you made me wipe his butt."

"It was a cute baby butt." She protested, washing Jay the best she could without touching Dan.

"Then next time, you can wipe it." He stared down at the bubbles covering his chest. "Why am I covered in bubbles..that smell like you?"

"It was for Jay. Babies like bubbles." She protested, rubbing the shampoo into Jay's brown hair.

"Sure, can I get up now? My skin is turning all wrinkly."

"No! He's not done bathing." She shoved Dan back against the tub.

"Mama...no hurt dada." Jay frowned at her as she rinsed the shampoo out.

"Jay, I'm not-"

"Just leave it alone, Dan. He's one, he doesn't know any better." Serena muttered, hoisting Jay out of the tub. She wrapped him in a big towel, carrying him to the living room.

"Shouldn't we like call a nanny or something?" Dan called, wrapping a towel around his waist.

"I was practically raised by nannies." She said softly, not looking up at him. "I won't let Jay go through that. Hand me a diaper."

He looked through the bag, finally handing her a diaper decorated with trains and a bottle of powder. "Baby powder," He explained once he saw the look on her face. "So the diaper doesn't chafe."

Serena looked down at the wriggling baby, sighing. She looked at Dan, defeat on her face. "I don't know how to put diapers on babies."

"I'll teach you." He stood behind her, guiding her hands. "You slide the thing under his butt, okay. Good. Then you put powder on...that area and then pull the stickers together."

She barely registered a word he said as they put the diaper on Jay. All she could focus on was the fact that his bare chest was pressed against her back and his breath was hot on her neck. "Okay."

He stood back, pleased with his work. Jay sat up, giggling. "Dada, mama!" He slid off the couch, walking to Dan and accidentally pulled his towel down.

"Shit." Dan cursed, frantically trying to rescue the towel from under Jay's feet. "Come on Jay, get off."

"Don't curse in front of him." Serena admonished, quickly looking away from him.

Dan rushed out of the room, leaving a confused Jay and a blushing Serena.

--

Serena stood in front of the fireplace, rocking Jay as he wouldn't stop crying. "Dan!"

"Yeah?" He yawned from his place on the couch.

"He won't stop crying!"

"I've noticed. I think he's hungry and sleepy."

"Can you make him a bottle?" She continued to rock Jay, making her way across the living room. "We'll be in your room."

He stared at her retreating back, shaking his head. He plucked the small bottle and the formula canister from the bag, unsure of what to do. Finally he filled the bottle up to four with warm water and dumped two scoops of the formula in.

He ran back to his room, grinning triumphantly. He opened the door, his smile growing wider when he saw Jay fast asleep. "I don't think we need this anymore."

"Yeah," Serena gave him a smile, before gesturing him to the bed. "I'll get up if you want your bed back."

"No, no its fine." He smiled as he finally saw the 'pajamas' she had changed into. Wearing only his black and gray sweater, he realized this was how he had pictured them, if they were ever to have a kid. "I'll sleep on the floor."

"No, come on Dan." She stepped out of the bed, pulling him onto the mattress. "If you hurt your back, then there won't be anyone to help me with Jay."

He clambered into the bed, smiling at her. "Thanks."

She nodded, her eyes falling shut as her head hit the pillow. "Night."

"Night." He murmured before his own chocolate brown eyes shut.