Safety vs. Demons

"Promise me you'll try," she whispered into Angel's ear as he snuggled closer to her and pulled the blanket up over them both. "Try to get some sleep." She tilted her head slightly to consider him and was met by deep brown eyes filled with barely concealed fear.

Her own eyes widened in surprise. It wasn't often that anything was able to scare Angel and there was nothing she could think of now that would cause him such discomfort. Was there?

Unless...

"What's wrong?" she asked gently. She reached for his hand under the covers and when she found it, she squeezed it gently between her fingers.

He responded in kind and for a moment it occurred to her that they were in a very couple-y situation. They weren't a couple, of course. They were friends, good friends, and nothing more. This wasn't a romantic moment in the slightest. Really.

She had merely needed rest after the vampire slaying they'd done earlier in the night and had collapsed on the couch next to Angel. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't be bothered to get up and that in her exhaustion she'd managed to land just so on Angel, pinning him to the couch until she was to move (which was yet to happen).

It was the vampires. Their collective – now dusty – asses were at fault. Oh yes! There was no denying it.

She frowned as she realised Angel hadn't responded and gripped his hand a little harder. "Angel?"

He shifted slightly and she let out a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding.

"Cordy," he murmured. "Sorry. I'm just thinking."

"Brooding is more like it," she threw back before she could stop herself.

He didn't protest.

"Angel? Are you okay?" she tried again.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he nodded. "I just... Earlier. You almost died. You almost died and I almost didn't save you."

She ran her tongue over her lips and swallowed. Sighed. It was just as she thought. The dead guy was brooding over what had nearly happened to her – but hadn't. It was just like him to find the negative side to a situation and overanalyse it!

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "I'm fine, Angel. I'm here. I'm okay." She sat up and watched him carefully, taking in the way his brow creased that little bit more at her words and the way his eyes seemed to darken even as she looked at him.

Nothing.

He set his jaw and she could see the effort it was taking him to restrain himself – from what, she wasn't sure – but to restrain himself nonetheless.

"Look at me!" she commanded. "Angel. You can't do this anymore. You have got to stop taking everything on like you do. You'll, you'll, I don't know! Spontaneous human combustion!" She waved her hands uselessly in the air in a crazy gesture she had no clue as to the meaning behind. "Er...or is it spontaneous vampire combustion?"

He looked up. His eyes met hers and pierced through her.

Progress, she thought! At last!

"Spontaneous vampire combustion?" Angel finally said. His eyes glinted and the corner of his mouth twitched up in amusement.

She rolled her eyes at him and sighed. "I don't know!" she said. "It was the first thing that came to mind."

"You do realise that it's not real?"

"Full well, it is! Vampires are real! See?" She poked him in the side to prove her point. "Demons are real." She waved at her clothing where a splatter of red goopy material she didn't care to identify stained the fabric. "Why can't spontaneous vampire combustion be real? Or spontaneous human combustion, for that matter?"

Angel stared blankly at her for a full seven seconds before he scoffed at her and dragged a hand through his already mussed up hair. A few twigs and odd pieces he'd collected from the fight earlier fell from his hair onto the off yellow blanket.

She cringed slightly but didn't comment.

"Vampires and demons are one thing," Angel said. "Spontaneous human/vampire combustion is another."

"Do you want me to get Wesley in here?" she warned him. "He'll set it straight. He'll tell you."

Smirking some more, he gave a careless shrug. "I'm sure he will. But no, don't get him. This," he muttered quietly, "is nice."

He fell silent once more and she nodded. "Yeah," she agreed, settling back down on the couch. "It is nice."

They sat for some time without speaking and it finally occurred to her that she still hadn't talked out Angel's obvious fear of losing her. She entwined her fingers with his and rested her head on his shoulder. "You know," she began, "I'm here for you."

"Yeah, I know. I'm here for you, too."

"And you know that while we're here for each other now, there might be a time where we're not?"

Angel tensed beside her.

"One day, something might happen. To either one of us. And if it does, we can't blame ourselves." She paused. "Well, I suppose we can blame ourselves if we're at fault or even if we're not at fault, but if we're not at fault, we shouldn't blame ourselves." She caught the look in Angel's eyes and retreated into herself. "I'll, uh, stop rambling now."

"That could be a good idea," Angel confirmed with a small smile.

"Yeah," she agreed. "But really. Angel. Today couldn't be helped. You were off fighting evil. I got in a bad situation. I knew the risks when I joined you here. Ex-Sunnydale resident, remember?" She shot him a grin that reminded him of how she had been in earlier days, vibrant, smiley and clueless. "It wasn't your fault."

"I still should have been there for you before anything happened." He said it as if stating fact and she loved him even more (as a friend) for it. He had been in an impossibly dangerous situation and had barely survived himself, yet his thoughts were only of protecting her.

It almost scared her how much that meant to her and how much it annoyed her beyond reason. She could take care of herself; Angel shouldn't have to be there constantly to keep her safe. He shouldn't feel guilty for what he couldn't possibly achieve: her safety while fighting his own demons.

It was inevitable that there'd be a time where he couldn't be there. Today had been one of those times.

She looked him dead in the eyes and told him quietly, before she sank deeper into the blankets to get some sleep, "You were."

fin.