"How about a trade?" Purple finally said.
"Huh?" The Alien Communication Team all looked confused.
"A... mating of subjects of importance."
"A peace treaty in the form of marriage. I like it! I offer my own son, my own flesh and blood. Someone get Dib!" The main negotiator shouted, pointing at someone who scrambled to get the boy.
"Invader Zim!" Tallest Red shouted, and a medium height Irken stumbled through the crowd.
"Yes, My Tallest. What can I do for you, my Tallest?"
"We have a special job for you, Zim." The leaders exchanged glances.
"You will be in charge of keeping peace with Earth... by marrying an important figure." Tallest Purple said, with a smirk.
"Yes, My Tallest. I shall treat the Earthan and this mission very well."
"Tallests, this is my son Dib. Dib this the Irken Tallest and... Zim, did you say, Zim your suitor." The professor said, shoving a wide eyed, smiling, boy toward the screen.
The team smirked as Professor Membrane's crazy son came scrambling in the room. He appeared as eager as he was confused, stopping short next to his father as his eyes grew wide behind his glasses. Aliens. Aliens! He knew it! Dib was amazed to see real aliens, but stalled at the word suitor. It was true then.
Zim stared at the peach skinned boy, who he had to admit, was attractive. His hair had an almost attennae-like feel to it. Zim figured if he had to be wed to a human-pig, then this... Dib was as good as it would get. Zim nodded at the boy, who waved shyly back.
"We will send Zim in a ship to stay with you for a while, then Zim can bring his mate back here... eventually." Tallest Purple replied after a moment.
"Excelllent, I will have a home set up for the two of them, if you'd like to send all Zim's things in advance we will set them up."
"We shall, good day." Tallest Red cut the transmission and turned to Zim.
"You will have a stable mating with the boy until we decided ultimatly what to do the planet. Go pack your things." Tallest Purple munched on a donut and nodded in agreement as Red spoke.
"Of course my Tallest." Zim gave a small bow and shuffled off.
Red turned to Purple with a small grin. The communtication was shut off and the two flopped back on Purple's bed.
"Maybe this will work out well, Pur. We were told to be friends at first..." Red trailed off with a smile a his love offered him some donut.
"Hopefully... I am rather fond of that defective little Irken. Well, as fond as one could be of him... regardless, I'd rather not have to kill him." The two nodded in agreement and finished off the donut, snuggling close.
**
Zim sat in his cruiser as it landed, twitching nervously. His contacts were itchy and the wig on his head pressed on his antennae uncomfortably. He saw the Professor standing with several other people, an excited looking teenager, and an obviously bored girl. His door opened, and the boy took a few steps forward. Zim climbed down to meet them, and smiled slightly at the teen, who smiled back and blushed. Zim vaguely wondered why he was wearing a disguise anyway.
"Ah, Zim! It's so nice to meet you, I am Professor Membrane, this is my daughter Gaz, and Dib, your fiancee, whom you already met." A tall man in a white lab coat spoke loudly and with a vigour, shaking Zim's gloved hand, and gesturing to an angry-looking purple haired girl, who sneered at him.
Zim's eyes went to the slightly pink boy to his left. His... fancy? Something like that. Was he so pink before? No, he wasn't. Odd. They began walking down the stairs, ready to go outside. The tall man was still talking about about a house, and a wedding, but Zim was staring at his husband-to-be.
"Dib-human," Zim muttered quietly. Dib glanced down at the alien, raising an eyebrow. "Why are you pink?" The human grew pinker, Zim noticed.
"It's called blushing. It's because I'm nervous, embarresed, or excited." Dib responded, smiling lightly. Zim looked upat him curiously and nodded.
As they walked outside, Zim realized why he was wearing a disguise. Hundreds of humans were outside, brandishing black clubs that they shouted into, pointing them at the group, bright lights went off, and shouts came from everywhere. Zim tensed into the human subconsiously, all of this reminding him of Irken Invader Training Camp. Dib put his arm around the alien, muttering explianations to him.
"Most of these people are citizens and fans. Those are reporters who are asking the questions. They want to be the first to cover the story and put it on the internet, TV, or in a magazine. The flashes are from cameras, they take pictures. The black things they are holding are micophones. They record things, and make them louder." Dib tried to explian the Earth technology quickly, to soothe the tense man beside him. Zim leaned back slightly into the arm around his neck, reaching his hand up to entertwine with one hanging there. Dib smiled lightly as the smaller hand fit in with his own. Pictures began to go off like crazy, and everyone stopped walking.
"The only information we will give, we will give now. I want everyone to be silent." A representitive stepped forward and hushed the crowd.
"The man with Dib is the soon-to-be Zim Membrane. Dib and Zim will be wed in a closed off, very privite wedding. We have recently made allies with a forgien people, and Zim is one of them. Dib and Zim are in an arrainged marriage, but both are very much in love, as you can see. That is all." The group began walking again, and Zim notied the clever lie slid in at the end. Although, if Dib was acting he was very convincing. However, Zim was confused.
"People would panic if they knew that aliens existed, thinking they were in danger. It's just better this way." Dib muttered.
"Oh." Zim responded quietly.
"This limo will take you to your new home, sons. Have fun." Professor Membrane clasped them both on the shoulder, nodding, and Dib swore he heard something about his 'poor insane son, all grown up and married'.
"Well, bye. And, congradulations I guess." Gaz said, glancing her brother up and down, then nodding once at Zim. He waved stupidly at her back as she walked away, climbing in the long black car.
***
The house was dark, and Zim laid in his bed glaring up at the ceiling fan. The room was eerily alike his own on Irk, but he wasn't too fond of that room either. He did appreciate Dib's effort however. He could tell by the apprehensive eyes and small smile at Zim's excitement that the man made sure it was identical to his old room. Now that the homesickness had worn off, and now that the wedding was in a few days, Zim was readily tired of it. His door creaked open lightly, and he rolled toward it. Dib was standing in the doorway, covered by shadows.
"I was going to bed and just thought I'd come to check on you... I didn't meant to wake you." Dib stated softly, with a bit of remose.
"You didn't, Dib-husband. Zim was still awake. You may come in if you'd like." Dib smiled widely at the new attachment on his name, one he hadn't heard Zim use. It still made him feel warm inside to see Zim without his disguise, he nearly fainted when he first saw the Irken in person without it. His long, smooth antennae, and sparkling solid ruby eyes were so beautiful to Dib. Zim tilted his head as the human perched on the edge of his bed and stared.
"Dib-husband?" Zim repeated, sitting up more, onto his elbows. The words echoed in Dib's head, and he placed his hands on the sides of Zim's face, lowering his lips down the other's.
"Say it agian. Please." Dib whispered, eyes half shut and breathing strained, his lips ghosting over Zim's as he spoke the words.
"Dib-husband." Zim breathed back, letting his eyes fall shut. Dib pressed his lips to Zim's, pulling the top one into his mouth slightly. They kissed for a few moments before Dib slid closer to Zim, holding him under the blankets.
*
"I now pronounce you married. You may kiss." The preist stepped back, and Dib swept the Irken into his arms, kissing him so swiftly that the veil he had atop his head flopped onto Dib's scythe lock. They embraced for a moment longer as the claps met thier ears, then pulled apart. Professor Membrane, Gaz, a few scientists, Tallest Purple and Red, Tak and Scooge, and a few others stood infront of a long pew, smiling and clapping at the couple; except for Gaz who snarled and muttered an 'Ew'.
"You know Pur, I rather like these weddings. You'd look good in one of those lacy white things." Red murmed slyly over cake, smirking as the other shifted with a grin.
"Between the cake and the kissing, along with all thier other snacks that is, this Earth seems keepable to me." Purple responded, looking over at the dancing newlyweds.
"Is that a yes to the lace then?"