AN: Wooo! First upload!!!! …..Ahem. This is my very first uploaded fic, though not the first written. I decided to go ahead and get this one out there, so maybe someone will like it and bug me to finish it and do more.

Self-serving? Yes.

Gets the job done? Absolutely.

Summary: Okay, so I was doing a Naruto fic where Naruto and Sasuke end up watching gay porn and get busy. Then I thought about the Death Note cops coming in to find L watching gay porn. Hilarity ensues... Especially if Light is the one to find him, and L gets a little frisky, heehee...

So it's warning time...ahem...

WARNING: This story contains explicit content (it's rated M after all), particularly of the sexy homoerotic kind... That means there will be guy on guy action, so if you don't like it, what the heck are you doing here in the first place?

DISCLAIMER: Say it with me now..."I do not own Death Note or it's characters."

Horny Chibi L- "It's research."

Chibi Light- "Yeah..."

Chibi Det. Yagami- "Sure..."

Chibi Matsuda- "Right..."

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The most famous yet unseen detective in the world was jerking off.

L squatted on the couch in the surveillance room, legs parted slightly, his bottom just barely touching the fabric. His pants were unzipped, and his hand was slowly stroking his long member. Lip between his teeth, he held back a moan as his eyes gazed at the erotic images on the large flat screen across from him. The team had gone to eat dinner, leaving him alone to "work on a little something," as he'd put it. Little did they know that something was a porn dvd that had arrived at his secret mail address earlier that day.

Then from behind, L vaguely heard a soft click. The door opened suddenly, and the team members entered the room chatting amongst themselves. He quickly yanked his hand out of his pants and went to turn the movie off. But in his panic, he hit "pause" instead of "stop" on the remote, and an image of two guys in mid-intercourse was momentarily frozen on the large screen. The room went horrifically silent.

L managed to turn the tv off, then the DVD, without having a heart attack (which he thought was a great accomplishment). He could feel the others standing shocked behind him, trying to figure out what to say. Suddenly aware of his physical condition, L grabbed a pillow and hastily placed it over his lap. He cleared his throat, hoping he could play it cool.

"Welcome back," he said, trying to keep his voice even.

Chief Yagami was the first to speak up, having to clear his throat himself. "I... hope we weren't disturbing you, L."

L shrugged, trying to keep his face straight. "Not in the least. I was just doing some research."

Eyebrows rose all over the room.

There was a snicker from someone.

"I received a call from an associate," L countered, his brain working overtime to come up with something remotely reasonable. "He said that he'd heard rumors that someone was placing subliminal messages in random movies, hoping to sway people into doing some of Kira's work for him. As we saw in the earlier stages of the case, it was difficult to wade through all the copycat murders that occured when Kira went public. If it started up again, it would only complicate things further."

L mentally patted himself on the back. Even he was surprised that one came so easily. "That was one of the supposedly altered films, and I had no choice but to inspect it for the supposed secret messages. And I assumed that you would all rather not be present for such a screening, so I chose to do it privately."

That one definitely worked, he thought. Makes perfect sense. Sure.

The others stared at him for a moment, L's heart pounding though his face was placid, then they nodded. Matsuda laughed uncomfortably. "You'd be right about that one, L." They all went to their respective areas. Narita shrugged. "Sounds plausible, if you believe in that subliminal crap."

Having distracted the others, L went on to explain the basics of subliminal messaging and how it could work if applied correctly, and to a receptive audience. They all seemed placated, not suspecting the real reason he'd been watching the dvd. All but...

Light stood off to the side, listening silently as L spun his tale. He'd been just as surprised as the others at seeing what was on the video screen, but he didn't accept L's explanation quite so easily. He'd noticed the slight widening of L's eyes when they'd entered the room, the slight flush on his cheeks that only deepened when he'd seen the image frozen on the screen. His breath had been a tiny bit faster than usual, as well...

He gazed at the detective, still squatting on the couch. L hadn't moved since they'd come in. Light's eyes took in his appearance. He was half seated as he usually was, his clothes disheveled as usual, his face impassive as usual. Then, he noticed the pillow.

L never used a pillow. He never sat on one. He never leaned on one. And he never put one on his lap.

His eyes widened.

Gay porn...

The blush that he'd hidden...

A pillow in his lap...

Was L.........?

(to be continued...duh...)

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-dances around the "I did it!!!" pinata- Wooo! Yay me!

Okay, yes, I'm excited... And hopefully you're annoyed at the cliffyness and want more. Your wish shall be granted...sort of soon. Soonish. Maybe... Convince me, whydontcha? -ebil writer's grin-