Lee fled the apartment, blinded by tears. He ignored the curious stares he received from the other villagers and kept running. He ran until he came to a secluded spot in the woods, away from everyone, and fell to his knees. Tears dripped down his face, onto the grass.
How could he have been so stupid, so careless? He never should have written that poem in the first place...and he definitely should not have left it out where Gai might see it. Now, Gai would surely figure out the truth. Lee sat on the ground, wiped tears from his eyes and hugged his knees to his chest. Get a hold of yourself, he thought. He knew that running away had been a silly, childish thing to do. But he just hadn't been able to deal with the embarrassment of knowing Gai had seen something so personal, so private.
And once Gai realized the truth, what would happen then?
After a moment, Lee stood and walked back toward the village.
Gai wandered through the streets of Konoha, anxious. He'd been searching for Lee for the past hour. He'd checked all the usual spots, but Lee was nowhere to be found.
Since he'd first become Lee's teacher, they'd become close, closer than Gai had allowed himself to get to anyone for a long time. In fact, Lee had become the most important person in his life. Gai couldn't stand knowing that his dear student was upset, maybe even angry at him.
He spotted Kakashi walking down the street and raised a hand to him. "Ah, good morning."
Kakashi looked up from the book in his hand. "Morning. You all right?"
He gave Kakashi a distracted smile. "Why do you ask?"
"You look like something's on your mind."
Gai paused. "Kakashi, what do you do when someone you care about is mad at you? How do you make it up to them?"
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Saying 'I'm sorry' is usually a good first step. And flowers never hurt, either. This is a woman we're talking about, right?"
"Well, no."
"A man?"
"Erm…not exactly."
"A turtle?"
"No!"
"Oh good. For a moment I thought you'd started getting freaky with your summoning creature. Wouldn't be the first time someone's done it."
Gai rubbed the bridge of his nose, too distracted even to be vexed by Kakashi's usual cool, flippant attitude. "This isn't a lover I'm talking about, it's a student. I just need to know what to do to make it better."
"Apologize. That's really all there is to it."
Gai took a deep breath. "Right. Thanks. By the way…have you seen Lee today?"
"You mean the miniature version of you that's always following you around? No, I haven't seen him. Wait, is he the one...?"
"Yes." He hung his head.
"I wouldn't have thought he was capable of getting mad at you. What happened, anyway?"
Gai paused. "I read something he wrote in one of his notebooks. Something rather personal. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but when he found out he was terribly upset. He ran out and now I can't find him anywhere."
"Hm."
"Anyway, I'm going to keep looking. Thank you for the advice."
"No problem. Hope things work out."
Gai walked down the street to the flower shop. Kakashi had said flowers never hurt, so…
He pushed open the door, and a bell jingled overhead as he entered. Ino looked up from the magazine she was reading at the front desk. "Good morning, Gai Sensei. Anything I can help you with?"
"Er…" He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling out of place. "Maybe I'll just look around a little." He browsed the store for a few minutes, feeling overwhelmed by the variety of flowers—how was he supposed to know which one was right? He could ask Ino, but he really didn't want to describe his situation to a girl he hardly knew. Then his eyes settled on a display in the corner: a small pool, with lily pads and an assortment of pink and white blossoms floating on top. "That's a lotus, isn't it?"
"That's right."
"One of those, please."
A moment later, Gai left the shop holding the single, fragile-looking white blossom in both hands. Now, he just had to find Lee. As he looked around, it occurred to him—the one place he hadn't checked, the place where Lee was most likely to go when he was troubled or trying to make a decision.
Gai turned toward the Academy.
As he walked, he began to wonder if the flower was really a good idea. He tended to take Kakashi's advice at face value, but then, Kakashi had initially assumed he was talking about a woman, and flowers were usually something boys gave to girls. Lee might think it strange. He might even be embarrassed…and after what had happened, the last thing Gai wanted to do was make him feel awkward or self-conscious.
Gently, he tucked the blossom into his vest-pocket, out of sight.
Gai entered the Academy and walked through the halls, up the stairs, to a balcony overlooking Konoha—the very balcony where Lee had once declared his dream to Gai and his teammates. Sure enough, he found Lee there, sitting on the bench, his shoulders slumped and head bowed.
"Lee."
Lee gave a start and leaped to his feet. "Gai Sensei!"
"I've been looking all over for you. I was worried."
Lee lowered his gaze. "I did not mean to worry you," he murmured.
For a moment, they stood in silence, facing each other.
Then, in the same instant, they said, "I'm sorry."
Lee looked up, surprise on his face. "You do not need to apologize…"
"Yes, I do. I betrayed your trust. I looked at something that wasn't mine to see, and I caused you embarrassment and pain. I'm very sorry, Lee. I promise it won't happen again."
"Thank you," Lee said quietly. "I--I should apologize too. I overreacted. I should not have run away. You have done so much for me, and I—"
"No. You haven't done anything wrong." Gai took a step closer and looked into Lee's dark eyes. They were red-rimmed, he noticed, and his heart cramped. Lee had been crying. Crying because of him. "Forgive me?" Gai whispered.
Lee nodded.
Gai wrapped his arms around his student. Lee hugged him tight…then he pulled back. "What is this? You have got something in your vest pocket."
"Oh." Warmth rose into his cheeks. "It's nothing."
Lee looked puzzled.
Gai sighed and pulled the lotus blossom out of his pocket. "A friend of mine told me that if you want to apologize to someone, you should get flowers."
Lee's eyes widened. "That is for me?" he asked, pointing at himself. "Really?"
"Yes. But I wasn't sure you'd want it. I worried you might think it was silly."
"I do not think it is silly."
"Then it's yours, if you'll accept it." He held out the lotus, and Lee took it in both hands and held it close to his heart.
Gai looked down at the soft blossom. "It looks like I broke one of its petals." He stroked the bent petal with his thumb. "I shouldn't have stuffed it in my pocket like that. It was careless."
"That is all right. It is still a beautiful flower."
Gai looked at Lee. He was gazing down at the lotus, a soft, pink flush in his cheeks. "Yes. Very beautiful."
They walked home together. Lee held the lotus blossom in both hands, smiling. It always made Gai happy to see Lee smiling.
He lay a hand on his student's shoulder. "What would you like for dinner? I'll cook tonight. Or we can order in if you'd prefer."
"Can we have spicy curry?"
"Of course." He looked into Lee's eyes. There was no trace of distrust or resentment in them. Lee was always quick to forgive, and Gai knew that his student wouldn't hold this against him…but still, something inside him ached. I broke one of your petals, he thought.
Lee was so strong-willed, so filled with the fire of youth, it was easy to forget that he was also a sensitive soul. But Gai wouldn't make that mistake again. He would be more careful in the future.
"Gai Sensei?"
"Yes?"
"About that poem I wrote..."
"It's all right. You don't have to explain anything to me. You don't have to tell me who it's about, either."
Lee blinked. "You do not know?"
"No, the poem never gave a name, at least not that I saw. But that's fine. I don't need to know."
Lee looked down at the flower again. "Thank you."
As they walked, he watched Lee from the corner of his eye. He knew Lee was still insecure about his looks, but Gai had always thought he was adorable. He liked Lee's big, expressive eyes, his thick brows, his long lashes--even the little curve in the center of his upper lip was somehow endearing. He'll grow into a very attractive young man, thought Gai. Unusual, yes, but all the more striking and beautiful because of that.
He wondered why he was thinking those things now. He found his mind drifting back over the words of Lee's poem, picking out the clues.
Dark eyes. Someone Lee was close to. There was one obvious answer--one that Gai had not considered, not allowed himself to consider.
Could it be...?
Gai's heartbeat quickened, and his mind flinched away from the thought, but it was too late. He couldn't unthink it.
He knew that people whispered rumors about them. He'd overheard a few, and it always hurt, but he'd accepted that ignorant people would make assumptions. He and Lee were very close, after all, and they weren't shy about hugging in front of others, and now they were living together--a man and a twelve-year-old boy who was not related to him, sharing an apartment. Of course there would be rumors. Some people, he reminded himself, just didn't understand the bond between a sensei and student, how powerful and pure and beautiful it could be. Some people saw sex in every shadow. He'd always comforted himself with the knowledge that they were wrong, that there was nothing of that in his relationship with Lee.
But what if...
No. Gai slammed the door shut on that line of thinking before it could go any further. Lee was his student, Gai was his teacher, and they loved each other in a simple, pure, wholesome way, and that was all there was to it. Because if he allowed himself to consider any other possibilities, he could not be with Lee anymore, and that was unthinkable. They needed each other.
But what if...
He squelched the thought.
By the time they arrived home, he'd succeeded in putting the issue out of his mind.
That night, Lee lay awake, gazing at the snow-white lotus flower in the glass vase next to his bed. He sighed, snuggled into his warm, cozy blankets and closed his eyes. He could hear the shower running, and he knew Gai was getting ready for bed.
An image flashed through his head: rivulets of water running over a broad, muscular back…strong hands rubbing the soap into a lather, spreading it over his wet, slippery skin…
Lee gulped and hid his face against the pillow. He mentally walked through the meditation exercises Gai had taught him, but his thoughts kept drifting back to that image. After awhile, he gave up and reached into his pants.
A few minutes later, he wiped off his hand with a wad of tissues and dropped them into the trash. Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes.
He was living with Gai Sensei. It was like a dream come true…except he still lived in terror that Gai would discover the truth about him. Why did these confusing, embarrassing needs have to spoil his happiness?
He resolved to find some way to control his desire. He was a genius of effort. He would master his body with mental discipline—and he would make sure that Gai Sensei never, ever found out. If he did, Lee was sure, their wonderful bond would be soiled forever. Gai Sensei would not want him to live here anymore. He would push him away. Lee just had to make sure his secret fantasies remained secret. But a thought tickled the edge of his mind.
What if he feels the same?
For a moment he remembered the brief touch of Gai's finger on his lips, the gentle kiss on his forehead. Then he pushed the thought away. It would never happen. Gai was twenty-six. Lee was twelve.
He closed his eyes, and that little voice whispered deep in his mind: But maybe someday.
Someday. He clutched the word to his heart like a talisman as he drifted off.
He dreamed of Gai.
-The End
AN: I should probably mention, this story is a prequel to "Closer." So if you want to know how this all gets resolved, read that. I'm aware that this is very open-ended...but since all my stories are part of the same continuum, I couldn't really end it any other way.