It's something that happens, to all of us, one way or another. Some go screaming, others pass in their sleep, and then there are those lucky few that slip even before they've fully realised that they're alive.
Bleak outlook? Probably.
Dying doesn't mean as much as it did (and should) these days, not when we're fighting a war. People die, it's a fact, you win some and you lose some. Most of the time you lose more than you win; the metal makes sure of that.
I've seen plenty of people dead, held them in my arms, listened to their last desperate pleadings and whispered prayers. It never works, they always go. The machines are good at what they do: they exterminate us without mercy, slaughtering innocent children and burning homes to the ground.
Funerals, I can't even remember the last time I got to stand at one and say all the things you're supposed to say. You don't get much of a chance in my world, not when you have to keep moving and stay that one step ahead of the machines.
The last one I can remember is when my mother's dad died and the house was full of strangers in black, tissues on hand and empty words of condolences. I didn't understand the need for it then, but I do now. Its closure in a way, closure in a way I never got with Kyle. Hard to when your brother time jumps backwards and dies saving the woman who will eventually give birth to the John Connor.
It's screwed up; everything about this world is screwed up.
I suppose in a way I grew cynical about the whole death thing, couldn't help it, needed it to be strong and keep going. Our parents were long gone before I even had a chance to say goodbye, I had to focus on the living and do whatever I could to keep Kyle alive. Guess that's what you learn when you live in the future, you have to forget the dead and focus on the living. It's the only way you're going to get through it.
But it's not that easy to remember when you're stood holding a candle at random stranger's funerals, listening to their families talking about them. It had been so long since I'd last stood at a proper funeral that I couldn't wrap my head around it, couldn't understand the need, and I guess that's one of many things I've lost. Those people who died, they were working towards furthering SkyNet and it's not like I cared all that much about their deaths, they're better off dead if you ask me, but something at that funeral made me think about how we deal with death.
This world has no idea how lucky it is, how fortunate it is to be able to grieve, not everybody has that privilege.