disclaimer: not SM, just like to use the characters

a/n: sooooooo i was going to not post this on ff til i finished PT. however, i am getting grief from some of my bitches to hurry and post it here. posting will go slowly til i finish PT tho so please...remember that.
this is an all epov story, my own personal dr. mcdouchey. i heart him. obv this was "inspired" by Thrice's "The Artist in the Ambulance." lyrics are posted at the beginning of the prologue. and i promise that will be the only time i do that.
each chapter will be the title of a song (tho not necessarily related) and i'll include my own personal TAITA playlist for some of you to enjoy...maybe.

songs for the chapter:

"The Artist in the Ambulance" by Thrice
"Piece by Piece" by Osker
"Contention" by Osker

Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel lift me up
And I open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white
They flip the siren, hit the lights, close the doors and I am gone
As I lay here owing my life to a stranger and I realize that
Empty words are not enough
I'm left here with the question of just
What have I to show except the promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets
I hope that I will never let you down
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound
Look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares
It gets me down but I'm still gonna try to do what's right, I know that there's
A difference between sleight of hand and giving everything you have
There's a line drawn in the sand, I'm working up the will to cross it
I hope that I will never let you down
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound
Rhetoric can't raise the dead
I'm sick of always talking when there's no change
Rhetoric can't raise the dead
I'm sick of empty words, let's lead and not follow
Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the
Greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands
Giving me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance
I hope that I will never let you down
I know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound
Can we pick you off the ground, more than flashing lights and sound

--

I had to fucking get out of there. I was practically suffocating under the weight of my parents' damn expectations. I could still hear Carlisle's voice ringing in my head.

"Edward, when are you ever going to grow up and accept responsibility? You know that they need you to step up and take over the department. Why do you insist on shying away from your potential?"

He didn't understand me. He never did and never would. I wasn't ready to give up all my fun in order to sit in a fucking office, bored shitless day in and day out. It wasn't my idea of a good time. Nor was the pressure of living up to my "potential" as my father put it. More like live up to his name. Everyone in the area recognized the name Cullen. If I failed? The shame would be un-fucking-bearable.

So that's why I was pushing 90 mph on a too small road that was too wet for the speed.

In front of me was a red light. I knew it was about to change green because the little blinking man changed to a red hand.

Hurry up.

I briefly toyed with the idea of just blowing through the damn thing, knowing it would probably go green as I was half way through the intersection. But I also knew this light had one of those fucking annoying cameras installed to catch anyone running the red. It wouldn't do well for me to get a ticked now, especially when I wouldn't even deserve it.

Damn you light. I wasn't planning on touching the brake until I got the hell outta here.

I stomped on the brakes, trying to at least slow down as I screeched towards that invisible point of no return.

As if I needed one more thing to go wrong tonight, the brakes locked up under my foot.

Shit.

I pumped the pedal quickly, pleading with my tires to find grip with the slick pavement. Didn't I just get my brakes checked?

I had in fact gone in last week to some generic mechanic. He was obviously no Emmett. But then again, who was? I had never had a problem before, even with my dangerous high speeds and wet roads.

I felt a lot calmer when, as I swept past the cross walk, the light changed to green.

Hallelujah.

Something was going my way at least.

Wrong.

My relief turned to bone chilling fear when I saw a pair of headlights coming at me from the side. I caught a glimpse of some kid through the windshield before I felt his front catch my back end. The resulting collision sent me spinning madly.

In my haste to leave my parents' house, I hadn't bothered to buckle my seat belt. I panicked. Somewhere deep in my subconscious, my brain was screaming at me to try and correct the damn car, to grab the steering wheel and attempt to regain control.

Instead, like the dumb shit I am, I uselessly fumbled with the seat belt to click it in place.

Fucking dumb shit.

I looked up in time to see a light pole hurtling towards me. Because I was still occupied with that damn belt, I didn't even have a chance to raise my hands to defend myself from the oncoming collision.

My car stopped too suddenly, my body being thrown forward from the inertia. I slammed back in the seat, my breath leaving me in a whoosh. And somehow, way back in my mind, I processed the fact that I was slipping into unconsciousness.

--

"Oh my god, are you ok?

I tried to open my eyes to see who was calling out to me. The voice was distant and hard to distinguish. It was no use.

--

"Please, sir…if you can hear me, blink or something, so I know."

My ears picked up on the voice more clearly now. Even through the pain it sounded…heavenly. So, what, it was an angel? Oh shit, she was coming to take me to the pearly gates! I was fucking dying!

"Please…please…please…"

I'm the one dying and she's upset? Hm, maybe she was pleading my case to St. Peter. I wouldn't doubt that my past would keep me out of heaven.

I needed to try and communicate with my winged messenger.

"Dead?" it's all I could force out. I was afraid it was too quiet, that she wouldn't hear me.

"No, not dead, not if I can help it."

Why would my angel try and keep me on earth? Wasn't it her mission to deliver me to my judgment.

I managed to open an eye. I took in the angel's face, hovering above me. It radiated beauty and her large innocent eyes were brimming with unshed tears. I saw one lone tear escape and I wanted so badly to reach up and brush it away.

Angels shouldn't cry.

But my arm was too heavy. I just managed to lift my hand when she spoke.

"No, don't try to move. Be still. I'm here for you. I will not leave your side until help arrives. Just stay with me."

I let my eye close, her eyes still burning with intensity behind my lids. And then she spoke out again, more firmly this time.

"Just stay with me."

--

What's going on?

My eyes blinked open and caught a heavenly sight. Lights were dancing across the pure white skin of the angel beside me. her hair shimmered and flowed around her.

Beautiful.

Then my ears were assaulted by noises blaring all around. My eyes moved away from the angel beside me and tried to take in my surroundings. I didn't recognize anything.

I began to panic, starting to choke on my own saliva.

Oh shit, this is it. Stay away from the fucking light, Edward.

The face of my own personal guardian angel came into view.

"I told you I wouldn't leave you."

--

I must be in limbo, neither here nor there, alive or dead..

Everything was black. I tried to call out to the angel who was escorting me, but no noise escaped my lips. My throat felt sealed shut.

Ahead of me, I saw bright lights, as if through a tunnel. And then I heard the voices.

"What happened?"

"…accident…"

"He's…lucky…"

Lucky? Did that voice just say I was fucking lucky?

The voices were all jumbled. I couldn't make out what they were saying. Then the angel's voice broke through, cutting through the tangle of sounds around me.

"I'm sorry, I can't go in there with you. But I'll see you on the other side."

Sight and sound left me once more. The pain did too.

I guess dying wasn't too bad…

so? whatcha think?