A/N: Yes, ever since this story was published I am guilty of going back a few times and George Lucasing the hell out of it, adding a few things, changing a few sentences, mostly fixing grammatical errors… I know, I know, I am the worst sort of perfectionist who will never be completely satisfied with her writing, but the story I present to you now is about as close as I'm ever gonna get. So if you've read it before and notice any small changes, don't be alarmed, just sit back, relax, and enjoy it again with all the errors fixed. And to all he first-time readers, thanks for checking out my little Alice/Invader Zim parody ^_^ I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Invader Zim characters are a © of Jhonen Vasquez. 'Alice in Wonderland' originally created by Lewis Carroll, but I believe the book is now public domain (so I can mutilate it all I want heh heh ^^).

*+*+Dib in Wonderland*+*+ by Spectra

Part 1: Fall of Doom

Once upon a time, on a filthy little planet called 'Earth,' in a certain city, in a certain park, it was a particularly beautiful day…

The sun was shining in a clear sky, bird song flittered through the air, and the world was draped in lush green shadows from the trees hanging overhead… but Dib wasn't paying attention to any of that. The young alien hunter's bespectacled eyes were instead fixed on a certain "kid" with green skin, a black pompadour, and no ears walking his so-called "dog." Zim stood there looking exasperated and bored beyond belief as his little, equally green puppy sniffed around him in a circle following a bug it had discovered.

Dib observed the scene for a few more minutes; now GIR was playing peek-a-boo with a squirrel and Zim was standing there with his eyelids half shut, drooling. He'd come to the park to spy on Zim, but not much was happening in the way of incriminating evidence, so he pulled away his binoculars and leaned back against the thick tree trunk, rubbing his eyes. He was having trouble keeping them open, having stayed up till three AM watching a 'Mysterious Mysteries' marathon the night before. Dib yawned and his eyelids fluttered as he sat back and thought about how nice and cool the grass felt and how great it was to lay in the shade, how sleepy the sun was making him feel, and how he longed to just lie against the tree and…

"Nyah! No!" He forced his eyes open and shook his head stubbornly. "I can't let my guard down! I'll never rest until I expose Zim for the alien parasite he is!" Hearing his own voice snapped him out of his fatigue a bit and he peeked around the tree trunk.

"Just wait Zim. You can't pretend forever, and when you slip up I'll be fully alert and ready!" Dib raised the binoculars once more, his gaze set like steel as he watched his enemy, waiting to strike at any given moment.

Ten minutes later Dib awoke from where he'd passed out in the grass. He rubbed his eyes and sat up, little blades of green stuck to his face. Quickly he grabbed the binoculars and looked over to see what Zim was up to. "Great. He's gone."

Frowning, Dib stuck the binoculars in his backpack, angry with himself for falling asleep and missing out on the perfect opportunity to spy on the alien, when he heard a familiar voice shouting, "Oh no, I'm late! I'm late!"

"Zim?" So he hadn't left the park after all, thought Dib, and looked in the direction of the voice. Sure enough, he spotted Zim rushing towards him, only he didn't look like he had a few minutes ago; he was now wearing a furry hood with white bunny ears attached to it and had a pink dot of a nose placed in the center of his face. Instead of his usual attire, his red striped uniform had been replaced by a white shirt under a red jacket adorned with gold buttons. Dib watched, dumbfounded, as the alien skidded to a stop directly in front of him and pulled a large, gold watch out of his pocket. "She's going to have my head for this!" he cried and darted past.

"Zim!?" Dib scrunched up his face in confusion. Instantly he was on his feet and running across the grass in hot pursuit of his nemesis, although it wasn't easy keeping up with the speedy little Zim bunny.

"Zim!" he called through panting breaths as he gradually began to catch up. "Where are you going? ~ huff~ And why…~huff~ why the heck are you dressed like a bunny!?"

"I am no bunny, I'm a rabbit!" Zim snorted indignantly. "And I have no time for your foolish questions, stink-boy, I'm late!" And with that, Zim disappeared down a large hole in the side of a hill that was half hidden beneath a hedge. Dib, who was too puzzled to think straight, never even considered that this could be some sort of trap, and popped in after him.

He crawled along the dim, dusty tunnel on his hands and knees, calling out Zim's name as he went. Am I losing my mind or was Zim really dressed as a rabbit? Dib wondered. Then as the initial shock began to wear off, he realized how carelessly he'd acted by following in so hastily after the devious little extraterrestrial.

"I don't know if I ought to be doing this. Maybe I should turn back while I still- YAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Dib's words were suddenly cut-off by his screams of terror as the ground beneath his hands took a sharp slide downwards, and he found himself plunging headfirst down a gaping black hole.

Dib's breath caught in his throat as he tumbled through the air. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, waiting for the bone-shattering impact that was sure to come. He waited… and waited… and waited. "Hmm? What's taking so long?" he wondered. "If I'm gonna die I'd sorta like to get it over with." He dared to open one eye slightly and saw that he was still falling, but he didn't appear to be falling very fast. In fact he seemed to be floating rather pleasantly downwards, his black trench coat billowing out gracefully behind him as he fell further and further. Looking around him, Dib's jaw dropped as he noticed the sides of the hole, which were covered with cupboards, picture frames, mirrors, coat hangers, clocks, bookshelves, posters, and a whole bunch of other things you wouldn't expect to find in a hole. "This… this is impossible!"he gasped A number of objects like tables, chairs, lamps, teapots, cups, and a chess set also drifted up past him, and Dib cocked a questioning eyebrow at the odd sights.

"This is no normal hole," he decided, clearly stating the obvious. "Maybe I'm falling into another dimension or something. What if Zim set this whole thing up so that I'd follow him here and be sucked into a pit of hideous doom! But… why the bunny costume? And why set this whole thing up when he could've just as easily zapped me with a death-ray or something? And how did he know I was spying on him when I was being so stealthy and-" Dib went on and on, trying to comprehend the situation. He had a habit of talking to himself in long monologues, a sad result of having no friends.

Dib looked down. Try as he might, he couldn't see an end to this long hole. "What if there is no end," he thought, then quickly dismissed the idea. There had to be an end; after all, the Earth was only so big. "I suppose I'd eventually come out on the other side. But wait…" he paused. "That's impossible, because I'd be burnt to a crisp before I even made it to the outer core."

This idea didn't exactly put Dib's mind at ease. "Well um, then again… maybe the Earth is really hollow, like some people believe," he thought, trying desperately to push that other image out of his head. "In that case I wouldn't have to worry about burning up. Still, once I reached the center of the Earth I'd be stuck there, since every way would be up. But that's ridiculous," he chuckled. "Once I got there the incredible force of Earth's gravity would crush me like a wadded up gum wrapper."

Somehow this thought didn't make Dib feel any better either, so he decided to just shut-up and concentrate on the passing scenery. A string of very strange objects swirled past him as he fell, including a pink, dead bunny in a jar, a creepy looking Doughboy, a freaky Elmo doll, and an ugly looking Chihuahua. "Oooooo-kay…" Dib said, coming to the conclusion that he'd had quite enough scenery for awhile. Still, he couldn't help thinking, it's too bad I forgot to grab my camera.

After a while Dib began glancing around again, his curiosity getting the better of him as it usually did. As he fell past a shelf he picked up a jar that had caught his eye. "Blech!" He made an 'icky' face at the label, which read 'Jellied Pig's Toes,' and Lord only knew why it'd caught his eye in the first place. Dib released it with a smile, wondering if maybe it'd drop and land on Zim, but instead of falling the jar floated up above him and disappeared into the darkness.

Minutes passed and Dib continued to plummet. The fall seemed to be taking forever and he was starting to get pretty bored. Just as he was debating on whether or not to start a round of 'Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall,' the laws of gravity suddenly returned, and he dropped the remaining length of the hole, landing with a loud THUD.

"Oww," Dib groaned and rubbed his backside. He'd be feeling that one in the morning. "Now where am I?" he asked no one in particular. Just then he spotted a flash of red and white out of the corner of his eye heading down a long hallway.