A/N: Ah, so here we come to the last part. I was going to try to stretch this out longer, but I feel like I'm chasing my own tail on these two since they're so completely emotionally screwed up. (And I love it, don't get me wrong!) However, to continue this I'm going to be dangerously close to repeating stuff in my Points in Time series and why do double work? So thank you for reading and reviewing Nothing Compares. Sorry for this angsty ending. More to come from me with PIT.

Chapter 5-- Dreams

Owen was trying to sneak out, it was ridiculous, but for some reason he just could face Cristina today. It was as if she was too much invested in him, when he knew he was too much of a mess for her to have to handle. He didn't understand why she didn't just get up and run as far way from him and his mess as she could.

He was about to go downstairs to the main floor of his loft when she rolled over a stretched.

"You're just going to leave?" she asked, he could here the beginnings of her anger chasing sleep away.

"I wanted to get to work early. There's a lot of paperwork I'm late on because Mom was there." he lied and he knew she knew he was lying.

Cristina shook her head, "Go Owen, just go, you're good at running away," She said as she sat up. Downcast he turned to leave and she scrambled out of bed. "Seriously? You're not going to deny it?" she called down at him as he put on his black leather jacket.

"There's nothing to deny," he said simply, Cristina came down the stairs.

"I don't know if it's that your uncomfortable with weakness, or if your too full of bullshit and self pity to pull your head out of your ass," she said and saw a flash of anger in his eyes.

"You don't understand," he said.

"Yesterday you said I did, now when I challenge you, I don't? Make up your god damn mind Owen. I'm not just here because your pretty, I'm here because I see you and I want you to stop running," she put her hands on his chest.

"Stop running from me, there has to be a point where you have to stop, and take a breath, and say yes I can do this. I thought you found that point with me, but you run from me every time you have a setback like I'm going to judge you," her hand went to his face. "I'm not judging you so why are you running?"

"Why aren't you running, you deserve so much more than a broken man breaking down because of the possibility of a family dinner. You deserve someone who doesn't have to medicate himself to sleep in a bed with you," he yelled.

"Because in one of the lowest points in my life, you caught me, you called me beautiful and told me anything can happen, and you made me believe you."

Owen shook his head, and then sat on his modernly shaped black leather couch, his head in his hand.

"I feel that I'm wasting your time," he whispered.

"If I felt that way I'd tell you," Cristina assured him. "Sometimes when you shut down on me I feel as though you don't care about me."

Owen's eyes went wide, that was the last impression he wanted her to have. Everything he did he thought about how it effected her.

"I love you," he said touching her bruised face gently. "That's why I can't believe I did this to you."

Cristina pointed to her bruise, "This didn't hurt me as much as you shutting down on me that night. Only thing I wanted you to do was to tell me what was happening in your dream that got you so scared. You never talk to me about Iraq, I only know the cliff notes version to what happened to you. That was fine before, but now you want me to move in, "I love yous" have been exchanged, we've slept together, and I've met your mother... It's time Owen. I'm not asking for everything, but just a little."

Cristina finished and Owen understood, he couldn't protect her from his problem. She shouldn't have to put up with it , but she did because she loved him. She was right, he was keeping everything to himself, building walls. He didn't want her to see him weak, broken. He didn't want her to look at him as if he needed saving either. He didn't want to become her project.

She turned his head so he was looking at her and she kissed him gently on the lips.

"How about this, I tell you about my painful past and you tel me about yours, and eventually we'll both heal?"she offered and Owen looked at her as if she was joking. Other than her father's death, what could she possibly have that could compare to Iraq.

Cristina saw his look and took a deep breath, "I lost a baby, once." She said and Owen blinked, he couldn't believe it. His heart ached for her and he went to touch her face but she pulled his hands into her lap.

"I had an affair with a Cardiothoracic surgeon when I was an intern, it was a quick, fast, and dirty love affair that started out of nowhere. Immediately, I became pregnant and I didn't want it. I even scheduled to have it aborted, but I didn't go. I thought, for sure, I didn't want it," she sighed heavily. "Fate made up my mind, it was ectopic pregnancy. It wasn't until after surgery, while recovering, with my nagging mother in my room that I realized, I probably would have made a good mom," she rolled her eyes with a sad grin. "I cried so hard and couldn't stop, because deep inside I thought that I caused the baby's death because I didn't want it enough."

"I'm sorry, Cristina," he whispered and she shook her head.

"Sometimes, every now and then I have this nightmare where I'm walking with my baby in a stroller through a crowd. Something distracts me and when I turn around, my baby is gone. Panicked and crying, I start shaking everyone around me begging them to tell me where my baby is and they won't. Then one of them says to me, 'Why do you even care, you didn't want it anyway?' and I always wake up crying from that dream."

Owen shook his head, only imagining the pain she went through losing a child, especially one she was unsure about having. He knew Cristina would beat herself up for something fate had a hand in. She always thought her actions could control the way the world worked, but it didn't.

He leaned back on the sofa, sighing. He felt tears burn his eyes, "My, my dream. I-I-I dream of fire and the smell of burning flesh. My ears are ringing and there's a Colonel above me screaming. I can't make out what he's saying...then-then he points down and I look down at myself. I see that my body parts are blown up. I'm missing legs and my arms. I'm just a head and half a torso, paralyzed. Then I see it, the flash of another RPG, but this time I can't do anything about it, I can't even warn the Colonel. I just scream and scream until it hits me. Boom!" he said and Cristina squeezed his sweaty hands.

"When you woke me up, I could feel that I was free, I could move again, so I was going to dodge out of the way. That's when I hit you." he looked down at his lap and Cristina kissed his temple, her hands ran through his hair. He looked into her eyes and found no judgment, no pity, just caring and understanding.

"Are there other dreams?" she asked and he nodded, pulling his hands away he rubbed his palms on his pants.

"Every night since I've been back, there's some kind of nightmare. Maybe memories, I don't know," he stood up and paced. "There's another, where I'm lying down after the RPG blast and I can't breath or move. Th-there's smoke so dense I-I can't see anything. Then suddenly the smoke clears and I realize that I can't move because my dead brothers are pinning me down with their weight. And I can't get them off, and I-I-I just want them off me," he said, suddenly hyperventilating, unable to breath he took of his jacket and threw it on a chair, Cristina rushed over to him and led him to the couch. He put his head on her chest crying, and she rocked him gently.

"Shh, I'm here, I'm right here. The bodies are gone," she whispered and Owen shook his head.

"They're here," he held his head. "They're always here."

"But they won't be forever, and if they are you have me to chase them away," She Promised and Owen looked at her.

"Always?" he asked, his racing pulse beginning to slow.

"Always," she kissed his forehead.

He entwined his finger with her and his eyes closed. he went to sleep in her arms. She shifted her weight a bit making herself comfortable, both mentally and physically.

She laid with him in her arms amazed by how much she loved him and how far she would go for him. She was never good at expressing her emotions, she just wished Owen could feel it from her.

Owen did, surprisingly. In her arms, he completely and utterly felt it.