Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach at all, or else I would support the Cientific Method of Language--and would burn Methods of Investigation I books for free.

A/N: I am back with a new story, after lack of internet, material to work with, a bloody plot, and because there's no freakin' time to do anything in this world now that I have started college and two weeks following for partial exams--so my apologies for not delivering this new story earlier for those who read The Bridge of Silence. Sighs, but hope that this story is good, if not then I'll delete it and start again.

+--Red Moon Winter--+

"In visions of the dark night I have dreamed of joy departed-"

~ A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe

+…

Prelude

+…+

It hadn't been something that one could control, something that couldn't be stopped at all because it had happened suddenly. There was no choice, no way of going back and put it right again; such chance no longer existed. Perhaps it had been, for a few weeks, but the choice couldn't be made. This longing was like a sin, something unworldly--it was so strong. A precious sin.

+…+

Parties. A single plural word that could easily deceive the minds of many due to its messages, whether they were subliminal or simply a bandwagon--Toushiro failed to understand any of it at all. He massaged his temples to beat the upcoming headache that was pushing its way, every nerve was pulsating. Parties weren't that great, they were usually rowdy and extremely wild--not that it would matter at the moment seeing that he was sitting inside a club.

The drink on his hand was untouched, his emerald green eyes locked upon the figure on the floor as his girlfriend danced around with random people; not that it mattered. It was her birthday, one that only came once a year and it was the only time that which he ever came out. Dance clubs, small gatherings on someone's house or whatever were not very much liked by him; anti-socialism ran deep in his roots.

Saturday nights spending it alone, studying for no reason and for the nights being all quiet--they were much better compared to the loud music playing. There had been no reason whatsoever to come up with a lousy excuse, something plausible that would deem itself proficient enough to be bought by Momo. That was impossible, she was demanding and extremely bossy most of the time.

"Come on, Shiro." She had begged mere hours previously, trying so hard. Her stare had been demanding--again--and not one that wouldn't be so easy to evade this time around. After all, he had gotten himself out of a date due to a lousy exam excuse (thankfully she didn't attend the same school as him), but nevertheless she got extremely annoying.

Everyone wondered, his friends questioned as to the reason why he continued to date her, since she was already obsessed with a much older man. Toushiro hadn't been much aware of that one, mainly because he didn't feel the need to question her love towards him; as if that would be childish behaviour. He didn't get it himself either, she was whiny and bossy all the time towards everyone, always wanting the outmost attention from everyone of her friends. The centre of the universe could be over, if she were chosen to become the centre.

"Lets dance, please." Momo tugged on his arm, attempting to pull him out of the small chair lounge.

"Dancing is not for me, you continue having a good time." He expressed, getting his hand away from hers before being dragged into the mundane world of club dancing.

The intoxication from the alcohol was getting to her, he knew that much, because Momo wasn't great at holding her alcohol intake at all--perhaps due to the lack of her club social up comings. She smiled simply, her soft pink lips tugging a devilish smile as she grabbed a random guy and pulled him on the dance floor. It wasn't like he should get jealous, should he? There was no reasoning to get jealous, mainly because he didn't give a damn about it anymore--should he just end it?

There were so many things in this world that were confusing: women, alcohol, laws of gravity, clubs, and those absurd teachers at school. Briefly, Toushiro shook his head before leaning back and closing his eyes. The smell of sweat mixed with alcohol and smoke weren't doing great, it was adding to the pulsating headache and it was slowly becoming slightly blur to think straight. He imagined a cool touch to his forehead, perhaps that was an imaginative thought of cold, and then warmth spreading over his body for the after effect of the unknown reality.

"Dance." The voice indicated, it was soft and hypnotic. He felt his legs move on their own, his arms finding a waist. No, that was impossible.

"What are you doing?" Whatever coherent thoughts were running on his brain still made him aware, despite the lack of making his limbs move according to his orders.

"Dancing, what else?" The voice whispered so gently, hot breath brushing against his ear.

The lights cast a strange glow upon the dark haired girl, her perfect lips tugging a smile on them as her body was against his; pressing more and more. Toushiro didn't know what to do, simply dancing with the strange girl and running his hands on her naked waist, feeling the perfect skin under his calloused hands seemed to only mattered. Her chuckles were light, so perfect as her dark eyes lingered on his locking him on a stupefied expression as she snaked her arms around his neck to feel him closer.

"I hate dancing." He muttered breathlessly, allowing the strange girl to have her way with him.

"So do I, but what the hell." She whispered in his ear. The hot breath moving from her mouth was melting him, almost like he would turn into a damn puddle soon. He felt her lips brush against his ear, down to his neck as the sensation sent electricity across his entire body.

"Its wrong." He was breathless, completely hypnotize by music and her actions.

"Doesn't matter, I see your girlfriend doing this all the time." She chuckled while staring at him. Her hands were still locked at the back of his neck, she was a demon. "You're miserable, trust me."

She pulled him down to kiss him, to allow herself to indulge on his own pathetic misery--perhaps more like a pathetic excuse existence of a man. Her mouth was warm, not like Momo's at all, it was soft and very welcoming as she ran her tongue across his lips trying to seek an entrance. He wouldn't allow, he shouldn't because it would betray the trust between him and Momo. Though, was it true on what she had said earlier?

"I can't." Toushiro murmured against her lips, trying hard to push himself away, but failing miserably.

"Don't matter, really. Be miserable if you like, be guided into the madness of the world were lies and misfortune exist." She smiled at him, but not letting him go.

He was confused, all the coherency and rational thinking weren't making a connection to his brain at all. Everything around them slowed down, must had slowed down because he felt his ears turn all fuzzy inside as nothing seemed to go inside. All receptors in his brain had shut down, no thinking could cut across the barrier that was blocking his rationality.

"Can't. Mustn't." It was a mantra running in his head. What would Momo do? He couldn't afford to have a fight--again--with her because there were other things to worry about. The she-devil was playing dirty tricks as her fingers trailed on his chest and down to his abs, the sensation was hot and very bothersome for him.

"You choose misery?" She asked, resting her chin against his shoulder as her breath continued to brush against his neck. "Mm, or maybe you can choose bliss?" Her whisper was like a command, but before any response escaped his lips, the stranger had slipped away and back onto the crowded club.

The lights bounced across the dance club, everyone dancing still or else passing out somewhere already, but where had she gone at? His teal eyes scanned his surroundings, all of the noise and everything seemed to come to him slowly, but his eyes only wanted to find the devil. Momo was becoming problematic, almost like trying to solve a math problem with a scientific process, and he couldn't stand it any longer.

"Shiro, we're going." Momo had pushed herself to where he stood at, but there was a guy already at her tail holding onto her waist.

"Go, I'll catch up with you." He turned around and pushed himself out of the mass, trying so hard to find the mysterious girl that captivated him so much.

The night continued to grow darker, the minutes ticking away as his legs dragged him into the very back of the club; shortly after Momo had taken off with the random guy on his convertible. He hadn't cared, it was better if she would simply run along and never bother him, but that was a little bit too much of a wishful thinking. Teal eyes soon found the figure standing against a black car, her figure looked even more astonishing out in the moonlight as the tight clothes fit perfectly almost as if he could see her naked underneath them.

The alley wasn't so long, in only three strides he was across it as his lips found hers, they tasted like a mix of alcohol and citrus. It was sweet, it was a hunger that needed to be satisfied as she pulled away from him and muttered quickly for him to get into the passenger seat. Without any obligation or demand, he followed orders like a dog salivating for food, and got into the cold black leather seat of the car.

Minutes felt like hours, the street lights seemed to grow slower as she weaved across the almost empty streets, and his eyes couldn't look away from her mesmerizing perfect face. It looked soft, almost delicate under the lights that flashed across the dashboard from the coming cars on the opposite street or the street lights, but in the moonlight it looked much better. There hadn't been anything else that could go inside of his brain, only that the strange sensation growing deep inside that needed to be satisfied before driving him mad.

Shortly after she had parked, she opened the door quickly and got out. Toushiro followed her example, but he was so desperate to touch her again that it didn't take seconds before his lips were against hers again. He was hungry to taste her, to completely melt in her very core and allow his mind to travel into a state of unforgivable bliss that would put him into a fluttery state. Like a daydream, always thinking about how that hunger was fulfilled like no other time before.

In the darkness, he felt her hands against his body--warm and hot against his own skin--the softness of her hands holding onto him as his own hands felt her body. She was like a goddess, her whispers like the music of a siren…a sin far too tasteful to pull away from. His brain had become completely broken, every single pragmatic thought no longer existed as Toushiro allowed himself to be taken over by the demon, the only perfect demon that could ever exist in the entire world.

It had been foolish to do something so stupidly like this, deciding to fulfil a need greater, far more greater and climatic unlike other previous times with Momo. She wouldn't do anything right, almost like she was afraid of such physiological needs of a human, so there was nothing that Toushiro would get out of that. Only running out of her apartment into the night, but never getting satisfied at all.

Nothing made sense, the world outside didn't exist anymore with the strange girl that he held onto. Her kisses were hungry, almost like she felt the same way as him, but he wouldn't know. They were almost there, the heat that continued to grow more and more radiant was getting ready to explode, but he wouldn't allow himself to be the first one. She was rather willed, her nails dug against his skin as her screams infiltrated the room, and he panted heavily.

It was a mess now, there was no going back from this stupid mistake done. He didn't know her name, he didn't know anything about her, only that she was ever so perfect. The archangel that had appeared out of no where to save him from damnation, he wouldn't know what else to think of that, only that he wanted to hold onto her forever; such forever couldn't possibly exist though.

+…+

+--Crush, Crush--+

The air smelled of winter, it was chilling and cool as the snowflakes fell continuously onto the cold ground, and tiny specks of white were slowly forming in different spots on the ground of the park. Toushiro laid on the bench, head bowed as his eyes read and re-read the chapter of his book for the 4th time in one hour, but it was getting rather tired-some as he sat there like a complete idiot. It seemed as though snow was collecting itself against his silvery hair, but that would be nearly impossible to tell due to how it resembled the white snow as well.

He felt silly sitting there, perched like a damn bird waiting for crumbs of bread to be thrown at it to eat, but people were starting to stare at him. Was it not normal to see a human being sitting there, waiting? Surely it wouldn't be normal as the temperatures were extremely cold, almost like a normal being would turn into an ice cube, but he wasn't normal at all. Being raised in cold places had helped, usually he would prefer the cold weather compare to the blistering heat of the summer.

"I'm sorry, I got stuck in traffic." Momo was breathless, her hair was wind swept. That was the millionth time that which she had made him wait, it was becoming restless trying to fulfil her commands of going on an effing date for no effing reason.

"Don't worry, you're here." He answered. Wished that it would've been cancelled though. His thoughts were turning very much corrupted for no reason, but he didn't seem to care much. "Where do you want to go?"

With that, Momo smiled widely and clapped her hands together. Either, the date would consist of romantic rubbish or something very dull, a lack of a meaning of anything. As Toushiro fought the urge not to roll his eyes, he was tugged across the park. Too bad there hadn't been a reasonable excuse to have skipped yet another date, despite the fact that he turned down an invitation to a bloody jockey game. Perhaps watching some guys hitting a black little disc with a stick would be more entertaining.

A year had passed of simple wishing, of simple daydreaming of the mysterious girl, of her appearing suddenly in front of him with the perfect angel face. Feeling the silky hair, the satin smooth skin and kissing the perfect lips to taste summer on them seemed still unreal. He didn't know why sometimes his mind returned to a year ago, almost like that seemed to only exist in his mind all the time; though he still paid close attention to his classes. In only a matter of months he would graduate, perhaps in a matter of days his damned curse would be over.

Though, nothing in the world could prepare anyone for anything at all, it was like life seemed to be always unpredictable and completely restless. Life was always a gamble, a chance that every single human being had to take in order to fully comprehend the little life they were allowed to live because life was so complex, an existing role of the universe.

His eyes stared mindlessly at Momo, nothing that she was spouting about seemed to register on his brain at all because he was focused on something else. The sugary scent of the coffee shop were the only things that his brain function was aware off, nothing of the surroundings was really being processed at all. Her body language was a whole conversation of its own, whatever it was that she was talking about seemed to take a different meaning, almost like she was desperate to get out of whatever it was that she had forced herself to get into.

For what seemed hours and days, his bright eyes finally managed to pull away from her and take a look around the coffee shop. It was like those traditional tea houses, it was packed with many costumers due to the weather outside, and it wasn't so loud like other normal coffee shops. He spotted a bright patch of orange in the distance, that was not normal at all; then again his own hair was not normal in any way at all. The guy held onto a child on his lap, his son perhaps? There was a girl besides him, her violet orbs glowing with happiness as she played with the baby.

Families nowadays were not normal at all, they were no longer valuable and strong like in the past, even his own family couldn't compare to the rare tight families. His father lived somewhere in Shanghai, running the underground business and being the administrator of a hotel; his mother on the other side lived Brazil with her lover, running a small firm there and designing clothing. There were no siblings at all, it seemed like his mother hadn't planned to have any at all because 'babies ruin my figure' excuse.

The smiling couple suddenly stood up, the orange haired male putting the bills on the table and picking up the diaper bag. He looked young, he was well built and tall unlike his partner, who was petite and short compare to him. As the couple walked towards him, the baby turned and stared down at him with his shockingly bright green eyes. There was a shock running inside of him, almost like there was a message there that was coarsening on his brain, but it was failing to be understood.

"Aw, he's so cute." Momo had stood up from her seat. Toushiro hadn't known that the couple had stopped, but there was no doubt that the child was not theirs. "Is he your child?"

"No, he's my nephew." The orange male answered, his adoring stare followed his companion. "We have two already, and another one on the way." The adoration was very much there, something that Toushiro didn't share with Momo at all.

"You two look young, not that it's any of my business." Momo chuckled softly, playing with the baby's hand. Though, his eyes were locked onto Toushiro.

"Ha-ha, we're only 25." The raven haired woman smiled, touching her small bulge and looking at the man. "Almost six years of marriage, but it was a good choice."

Toushiro didn't pay any attention to the rest, only that the child that was staring at him looked familiar to him because his smile reminded him of something. All of the memories of all the people he had seen had turned blurry, only a few faces stuck out into the memory lane there, but it was nearly impossible to put his thought into it. His mind became slightly numb, his hand wanting to reach for the child that felt so familiar to him almost like the child belonged to him in some unworldly way.

Quickly though, Toushiro was snapped out of his daydreaming as a girl had entered the picture. They were standing outside now, the girl smiled and took the child from the man's hands and kissed the baby; was she the mother? She looked young, very young and beautiful on the black jacket and aviator hat, despite the lack of more formal wear and the look of a mother. In an impulse, he stood up and looked outside to see the girl better because there was that existing feeling like he belonged in that picture.

"Toushiro, what's wrong?" Momo asked, her tone was worried as she too stood up.

"N-nothing." He swallowed her as the girl had turned to look at him. Those hypnotizing dark eyes, those perfect lips forming an 'O', but quickly vanishing from sight.

Everything was on impulse, his legs moved at their own accord as he ran out into the cold weather to chase after the mysterious girl. The longing to know, the longing to see and touch her again was ever so present for the past year. Wanting to get rid of Momo, wanting to feel free, wanting to feel like he belonged somewhere--they were strong feelings that had engraved themselves inside of him somewhere. The rawness to them was simply the small scratch, the many nights spent dreaming of touching the perfect angel had become like haunting nightmares that would never end, but then again he hadn't gone to find her at all.

He ran across the streets, chasing an invisible ghost and hoping to find proof that she existed, not only the memory of touching her and feeling her so close to him. Chasing, chasing…that would never end at all. In the end, his feet grew tired and he stopped running, stopped chasing after someone that should be better off forgotten; but the sad thing was that there were now questions that needed to be answered. He wanted to find her, wanting to find out the truth and hopefully find his right place. Wanting to fulfil the need to be close, to know if that child was close to him or not, but mainly, to know if he could stay with her.

How was that? Ugh, college reallly sucks and there's a lot of crap to do. I will not update regularly because there's no time in the day to sit down and time, even at the moment there's tons of homework and studying to do. Sighs, but that's just another thing. Well, hope this wasn't so bad at all. It's short at the moment, but college keeps me ever so busy with their homework and stupid work. OCC and all of that rubbish, but that's normal coming from me. So, please review and be kind, don't have time to really answer the negative rubbish at all--trust me I get that from my Methods of Investigation I professor already; don't need anymore. Thank you for reading!!!