A/N: i must admit that this was a rather spontanious story. i was daydreaming at work when i though of this one. i promised myself that i would write up the next chapter of another sotry i'm working on (CS) but i have another English literature coursework to do (this time it's on Death Of A Salesman) . but once thats out of the way it's smooth sailing until Exam season.

Damn it i can't get "Velonica" by Aqua Timez out of my head. it doesn't help when i watch a new episode of bleach that i'm reminded of it every time.

Disclaimer: I don't own bleach. i am neither artistic and can't speak a word of japanese. Figure it out. =]


"Sometimes Paranoia is just having all the facts"


"That little punk, first he steals my lil sister, then moves in to My house! Who the hell does he think he is!?"

Ichigo Kurosaki was many things. Arrogant, brave, obnoxious, serious, pessimistic, ginger, protective, and the only son of the Kurosaki family.

And he's paranoid to.

"Little asshole. He could be trying anything on with Karin."

REALLY Paranoid.

"I bet he has a plan and everything…"

Seriously Paranoid.

He paced his room at 2.59AM in the morning. All his family plus their "guest" had gone to bed hours ago. But, being the self confessed "normal" Kurosaki, he had to be aware of the threats to his kin.

And "threats" included his younger sister's boyfriend.

"Bet he's all smug, thinking he will outsmart me, ME! Hell he might be a prodigy, but if he thinks he can match wits with me he's dead wrong. And if he gets me on the wits, we'll see how far I can shove Zangetsu up his a-"

He was (thankfully) interrupted by the alarm he had purposefully set. He would catch the young Hitsugaya off guard, and then have a serious talk with him.

"Ichigo don't you think this is all a bit much. I'm pretty sure talking to Hitsugaya taicho about Karin shouldn't involve thumb screws." Rukia watched the orange haired man out of the corner of her eye whilst reading a romance novel on the bed in his old room.

"I'll get him good, then not even Unohana could fix him back up…"

"Ichigo" Rukia obviously wasn't going to enjoy her book with the furious reitsu emanating of her boyfriend. "Hitsugaya Taicho is one of the most upstanding people I know of. He wouldn't hurt her and they make each other happy."

She gave up when he didn't stop his mumbling. She sighed "your just being paranoid."

"Paranoid is only an anagram of protective."

Rukia looked at him deadpanned, obviously after all these years she couldn't forget his dense attitude hen pissed off. "No it isn't"

"It is if you spell it that way"

Placing the book back down on the nightstand she turned the light off and pulled the covers up. "Well when you've finished with your newest psychotic breakdown come to bed".

"k"


Hitsugaya Toshiro stretched his stiff limbs as he opened to door to the spare bed room Isshin had kindly offered. At least it was more comfortable then Karin's closet that he had to stay in over the past few months. He wore blue boxer shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in.

He scratched the back of his neck groggily, still half asleep, and made his way across the hall way to the adjacent room. Careful not to disturb the other residents of the house. He slowly opened the door and flinched when it creaked. And took a tentative step in.

"AHA! GOT YOU RED HANDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

Before he even registered what was going on he was suddenly jerked upward until he was hung upside down. A snare made out of rope was wrapped around his ankle. Blinded by the sudden source of light that hurt his eyes.

All he could make out was an orange blob dancing around in front of him and once when his eyes adjusted, saw clearly it was the pissed off eldest son of the Kurosaki brood.

"THOUGHT YOU COULD OUT SMART ME YOU COCKY LITTLE SHIT!?"

"wh-what? What the hell are you talking about Kurosaki!?" he shouted back, totally forgetting the time and the place of the conversation.

"Thought you could sneak in to Karin's room! But I knew you would try, and I caught you!"

Toushiro tried to rationalize with the irate man. "Kurosaki"

And failed, obviously.

"Sure, your smart and I'll give you that but instinct is way-"

"Kurosaki"

"Now I'm gonna ask you some questions. Damn it where are those thumbscrews-"

"KUROSAKI!"

"Whut?"

"I was trying to go to the bathroom!"

Confused by the revelation, Ichigo turned wildly around. The guest room was just across the hall from the bathroom. Karin's bedroom however was further down the hall next to the closet.

Ichigo had set the trap up outside the bathroom.

Yeah he has mad skillz.

Switching his sights between the now glaring Toushiro and the bathroom he grumbled something before untying the snare that he had tied to the railing of the stairs. Toushiro flipped and landed gracefully in a crouched position before standing and crossing his arms. "Whatever the hell the reason for this little incident, it can wait until morning. Now if you wouldn't mind…"

Dumbstruck, Ichigo stood by to allow the white haired man past. He grumbled something under his breath whilst shutting off the lights and retreating to his own room. "Maybe I am getting a little paranoid…"

In all his wisdom, he didn't notice that Toushiro hadn't returned to the guest room.


Karin tried to suppress her laughter by lying face down on her pillow.

"I can't believe he didn't notice! I'm supposed to be related to that idiot!"

Toushiro smirked, slightly amused. "You knew he would react that way"

Karin sat up and rolled her eyes. "After 15 years living with Ichi-nii you learn to tolerate him."

"Just because you tolerate something doesn't necessarily mean you like it" He pointed out.

"Don't get me wrong, I love the idiot. But he can be dense at times. I can just predict them that's all."

He climbed in to bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her as she threw the covers over them both, and settled down to sleep.

All was quiet.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD! WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"