Thanks a lot to my wonderful beta, saiyanwizardgurl, for correcting my story and improving it.

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story.

Dear readers,

yes, another story. Again with Alastor and Poppy as a pair and Alastor out of character as in all my other stories. Severus will be helpless in this story and his friends have to care for him and sometimes will force him to things to survive and heal. So if you don't like this don't start reading!

Now were this is said I hope that there are still people, who want to read this story.

Sunny

Chapter 1 – Albus' Visit

"Please, Albus, I do not want to stay here any longer. I swear I will not do it again," Severus pleaded.

Albus sighed and sank deeper into his armchair in front of Severus' hospital bed. "Severus, St. Mungo's is the safest place for you at the moment."

"Safest place? Lockhart is two cells down the hall. How can you call this place safe? Please, Albus, it was a mistake. I will not do it again."

"First of all, these are not cells, Severus, but hospital rooms. Second, please do not lie to me or yourself. You are one of the greatest Potions Masters in this world and you definitely did not poison yourself by accident." Albus looked sharply at him.

Severus threw his head into his pillow, frustrated. "Merlin, Albus, I won't do it again. I cannot stand this any longer. They touch me and give me potions I do not want to take. They decide if I can leave my bed or they place a Binding Spell on it so I cannot leave."

"Severus, you tried to kill yourself," was all that Albus said.

"Yes, and you and Poppy had to prevent it," Severus mumbled as he looked at the ceiling.

"Yes, we did, and I am very grateful. Sentences like this prove that you are far from being ready to leave St. Mungo's," Albus said sadly.

Severus jerked abruptly and faced Albus. "No, I'm sorry. Forget it, please. I swear I will not try it again."

"Saying it over and over again does not make it true, Severus. The Healers say you have not improved. You are still fighting them."

"Of course I am fighting them! They touch me all the time. And I do not want to be drugged," Severus almost shouted.

"Calm down, Severus, or the Healers will cut my visit short. Your muscles are extremely stiff and need to be massaged in order to relax. That is the side effect of the potion you took to kill yourself."

Severus groaned because he hated that Albus had to say it like that. As if I need to be reminded of what I did.

"Your headaches would also be reduced if your body was relieved of its tension, and if you would cooperate, you would feel much better. I do not think we have to discuss any potions they give you because they are Healers and they know what to do. If you have questions about the potions, you can ask Poppy this afternoon when she visits you. She is keeping close contact with the healers and is continuously informed of your condition and your medication."

"She does not have to come to visit me. Nobody has to come. Just leave me alone," Severus said, lying back in bed and turning his face away from Albus.

Albus sighed and stood up. When he sat down on Severus' bed, he took one of his hands in his. "Severus, we will visit you as long as you are here. Do not try to push us away. I had hoped that now that Voldemort is dead we could live a joyful life. I hope you will start enjoying living, Severus. I wish I could understand why you did it. I wish you would talk to me about it."

When Severus did not react and continued to stare at the wall opposite Albus, he said, "Or that you would at least talk with the healers so that they can help you."

"I don't want to be here," Severus said softly.

"Severus, there is only one other option, and – "

"Yes, enslavement," Severus said bitterly and jerked his hand out of Albus' grasp.

"Bondus protectus is not enslavement, Severus. It means trusting someone to take care of you completely," Albus explained calmly and laid his hand on Severus' leg.

"Letting someone see my thoughts whenever he or she wants and letting that person force me to do whatever he or she wants is slavery," Severus said in a low voice.

"You are a Legilimens, and so you know that one who reads someone else's mind has control over what he looks for and how deeply he probes the mind."

"And how does that make it any better? I am the one whose mind will get prodded, and I will have no control over how deep the caster goes and what he sees," Severus said and turn to Albus.

"That is the matter of trust, Severus. Whomever you choose to cast the spell would be someone who would not take advantage of this possibility."

Severus just snorted.

"You don't need the spell. You could just start to cooperate with the Healers, Severus," Albus said, trying to reason with his friend.

"I don't know any of them, Albus. If I cannot speak with you, Alastor, Minerva, or Poppy about this, then how am I suppose to speak with them? How can I let them touch me when I needed years, Albus, years, to even you and Poppy to touch me? I hate this." Severus moved his free arm over his face to hide the tears of anger and desperation that started to appear in his eyes.

Albus laid one of his hands on Severus chest and took Severus' hand again with his other. He sent a slow flow of magic to calm him. "They are professionals, Severus. They know what they are doing. There is nothing to feel embarrassed or uneasy about."

"You don't understand." Severus' voice sounded as if he was fighting down a lump in his throat.

"If it is so hard for you here, Severus, you should really consider Bondus protectus. Maybe it would be more bearable for you if we took care of you at Hogwarts. Just think about it."

"Fantastic, letting you all see inside my head whenever you want and having full control over everything I do. What a possibility," Severus said bitterly.

"We would not use it against you, Severus. And you would only be bound to one of us. If you cooperate, it would not even be necessary for the person to whom you are bound to force you to do anything. This is just an ability that the bond gives to the dominant person to ensure that the person he is taking care of does not hurt himself and does everything that is needed for him to heal as best as possible. The ability to read the mind is only an option to use when it is obvious that the person is lying and could endanger himself." Albus had stopped the magic flow, but his hand was still resting on Severus' chest.

"I would be nothing but a slave." Severus said hoarsely as he fought against the lump in his throat.

"As I said, it is just an option, Severus. And it would only be temporary." He took his hand from Severus chest and squeezed his hand one last time. "I have to go now. I will return with Poppy, Minerva, and Alastor at one o'clock."

Severus did not lower is arm, and Albus sighed once more before leaving the hospital room.