Disclaimer: I do not own School Rumble or any other properties mentioned in this story.
What you should know: This Story takes place after the ending of the School Rumble manga and some chapters of School Rumble Z so there are spoilers. Also this is a monkey faction fic (Harem for those not used to the term). There are some crossover but they are not essential to the story (they are more like cameos).
School Rumble: Final Rumble
Part 1
It was the end for Harima Kenji.
Truth to be told he had always wondered how his end would come but he always thought that it would be… different.
When he was a feared delinquent he thought that the end would be at the hands of a group of bloodthirsty punks, maybe even a Yakusa gang. Or it would be in a fight with a major badass, maybe one of most feared men in the whole world. In any case he would go in battle.
After he met Tsukamoto Tenma he began to think differently. He thought that his end will come at old age with her beloved Tenma-chan at his side, maybe surrounded by their children and grandchildren. Then he would go in peace.
Of course he never thought that his end would come like this.
Completely surrounded by every person he has ever met (even his cute Tenma-chan was here! How could they involve her in this? Damn!) and even some that he has never seen (or at least remember), unable to do a single move to escape or defend himself (damn restricting clothes), with his own brother next to him, to ensure no funny business will happen, and face to face with his executioner.
The face was covered but he knew very well who was behind it. He could even picture the expression that the face would be showing right now.
He was divided on his opinions about this person… yes, this person was about to end his life in the most embarrassing way possible that any true man would have, but he could not avoid to think that this person was somehow being forced.
Of course they could have avoided the use of the musical intro when the executioner entered the room.
Then the god dam priest came and said the feared words…
"My dear beloved we are here to join this man and this woman in holy marriage."
Yes, it was the end indeed.
***
Sawachika Eri gave a long look at her reflected image on the big mirror in her dressing room.
Amazingly enough she was not looking at the expensive dressing gown she was wearing neither at her hair nor make up (even tough each of them took several hours to get "just right"). No, right now she was trying to look at her inner self.
It was not that she was developing X-ray senses (that's for Kyon and the SOS dan, but that is another story), it is just that she was trying to make sense of her actions and feelings.
Several things had happened and somewhat they ended in this moment. A Shopping trip that ended sharing an umbrella under the rain (under snow in one occasion), confessions (most were incomplete and way too many of them for her taste and the very few that were "complete" were cast under doubt) Sport events, Arranged marriages (real and fake) there was even a shogi game at some point.
But now, here she was about to be married to a former delinquent, suspected monkey, a man way below her status and stupid beyond comprehension (and she bet that his feet smelled too).
And then she found herself doubting. Was she marrying that big dork just because it was a challenge, just because he was the only guy not drooling after seeing her, or it could be because of the competition with Yakumo, that somebody else might be getting something that she can't have. Or could it be…
Several images began to flash in her mind, amazingly enough all of them were about Harima and she began to remember the feelings that she had at each of those moments.
And then she realized the reason why she wanted to be with him… and then made her mind. She would marry him and that was it.
The sound of the song "Here comes the bride" could be heard even in this room, and that brought a smile to her face.
"Wait a moment. Shouldn't that sound until I am ready?"
She dashed to the door just to find it locked from the outside.
"What the…"
Meanwhile on the pulpit a Tsukamoto Yakumo dressed on a white bridal gown, complete with a veil that covered her face and amazingly enough her hair, could just think one thing.
'I ended up doing it'
***
There are several points of view concerning Tsukamoto Yakumo.
You could go with the typical male classmate point of view: Pretty girl that happens to be smart but ignorant of boys.
You could also think like her friends: Good girl with a horrible luck in love.
Or even go with the point of some others: A silent girl with secret issues that might snap at any moment.
Being able to read men minds, having a ghost girl talk to her, slapping a girl for ignoring her older sister might make you think that there is some truth in that last point of view. But it seems that being chronically shy and completely dedicated to her sister were the real motivator there. Being a mind reader, speak with a ghost and slapping blonds are just icing on the cake. Thing is that as much as she hates her power one good thing came out of it.
She noticed Harima Kenji.
Truth is that his love for animals was the first thing that drew her attention but it was the complete mystery of his thoughts that made her began to think about him.
In the beginning it was curiosity, just as she was curious enough if she could read the mind of a cat that drew her to Iori. But in time she had a good friend in the former delinquent, and then one day she realized the unthinkable…
She had fallen in love.
She denied it, she avoided the topic, she even tried to ignore it, but it always came back to her one way or another. And that ghost girl loved to remind her that every single time they met did not help at all.
So when she heard that Harima was getting married with Eri she did not know what to do. In the end she might have resigned to things how they were if her classmates would not have come with a wedding dress and an ultimatum.
"Will you let him marry her just like that?"
It might have been the peer pressure; it might be some type of teenage 'acting without thinking' moment; it could even be that ghost girl temporary possessed her body. The point was that when she realized what was happening she was next to Harima (which happened to be as a still as a piece of iron while sweating like a pig), getting married in front of a crowd.
"So my dear girl do you take Harima Kenji as your beloved husband."
The words of the priest put her on the spot. Although still covered with her veil at the moment she would answer everybody will know that she was not Eri, and why the priest didn't say Sawachika's name?
"I…"
"STOP THE WEDDING"
Everybody turned to the source of the scream and there on the double doors happened to be a very angry Sawachika Eri.
Harima chose that moment to enlighten everyone with his sharp observations.
"Ojou?, if you're there then who…?"
"Tsukamoto Yakumo" answered the red eyed (and at this moment red faced too) girl while removing the veil.
"Akira, how could you have not noticed that she was not me?"
The bridesmaid Takano Akira showed her befuddled face (that in retrospective it is the same as almost every other face that she has) as an answer.
"Forget it, and you, how do you dare to take my place in my wedding?"
"I…"
"Wait a minute." Interrupted the priest. "So what does this mean? That you are the second bride? I didn't expect you until tomorrow."
"WHAT?"
"Well if you're getting married along with her I have no problem in doing a joint ceremony so, Sawachika Eri do you take this man Harima Kenji as your husband"
"Well yes, that's why I came but…"
"And you Tsukamoto Yakumo take this man Harima Kenji as your husband too?"
"Well… I do… But"
"And you Harima Kenji take these girls as your two wives"
"When did I got entangled with 2 girlfriends?"
"Check high school pal" screamed Yoshiyadama.
"Shut you trap you mother f…"
"No cursing in the church my son. So do you take these two as your wives or not?"
Harima began to do what anybody that knew him well enough would consider as a dangerous behavior.
He began to think.
He was engaged to Ojou and that meant that if he backed down he would be destroying his honor (he did not had it in the first place but Tenma-chan was watching) and Sawachika would be furious.
Then there was Imouto-san. He never saw her so desperate as to intrude in somebody's wedding to stop it, could she be trying to help?
In confusion Harima said what has been his trademark kind of answer:
"Uhm… yes?"
He answered in the way that will put him in the most troublesome situation.
"By the power invested in me, I priest Jiraiya declare you husband and wives. You may kiss them boy."
At that moment while looking at the shocked and angry face of Eri, the also shocked but embarrassed expression of Yakumo and the shocked and murderous glance of the entire assistants of church only one thought crossed his mind.
'I am so dead'
***
Part 1… Fin
To be continued?