AN: The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house, all that cold, cold wet day.-Dr. Suess Literally, I don't have to work for like 30 minutes and it's like torrential downpour. Which will be bad when I'm waiting at the bus stop but good because I don't have to entertain her when she gets home. Trying to teach lazy 9-year-olds to play soccer is not fun. I don't understand what she has against it, but then again I grew up with 12 boys and 1 other girl. I was like ultra tomboy. I'd rather be that than prissy though. Anywho, courtesy of bad weather I bring you chapter seven. This one is dedicated to Amanda (amandajbruce) and Emily (IheartORANGE) for being the only two people who reviewed the last chapter despite the fact that there was a MONTH of built up anticipation for it. You guys rock.

AN2: Sorry for all of you who looked at this morning and found a previously posted chapter in it's place. FF screwed my document manager up so all the titles were jumbled. This is actually marked as Outside Looking In. XD

Chapter 7-Accidental Ass Kicking

"I'm not asking, you ask." They were standing in the lobby of the hotel where Jake was rumored to be staying. Lilly wanted Oliver to get the key, but of course, he thought she should.

"Uh yeah, because I totally want to be labeled as a Zombie Slayer stalker," She snorted back.

"Well, if I remember correctly you already were," She flinched. She had voluntarily removed this from her memory at Miley's request they pretend it never happened. And she generally didn't want to remember her crush on ego boy.

"If I remember correctly someone else never missed an episode of his 'close personal friend' Jake's show," She mocked, a little grin flickering on her face at his look of disgust.

"You never let me have anything," He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at a nearby wall.

"Excuse me," A pretty brunette nearby shuffled over to them, her hands clasped nervously behind her back. "Did I just hear you say you were looking for Jake?"

They exchanged glances. Stalker freak? Oliver's asked. Too soon to tell, Lilly's answered.

"Um, yeah, we're friends of his from Malibu," Lilly muttered, sizing up the petite girl. She wore an infectious bubbly smile, kind of resembling Miley's but wider with less gums showing. And she wore a kind of bohemian-chic purple shirt paired with black jeans and boots. She seemed a little out of the 'Zombie Slayer' stereotypical audience. Then again, Lilly wouldn't have counted herself as the type either.

"Are you Miley?" The girl said excitedly, grabbing her hand. "I'm Sonny! Sonny Monroe. I'm shooting High School Music 5 with him. I've heard so much about you."

Lilly laughed, slowly withdrawing her hand. "Actually, Miles is at home. We're her best friends, Lilly and Oliver."

Sonny turned her eyes to Oliver who was hovering behind the blond now and scrunched her eyebrows. "Huh, you don't look a thing like I expected," Her smile faltered for a second before growing seemingly bigger than before. "But then again, there's a reason I'm not in casting, isn't there?"

"What did Jake say about me?" He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Nothing," She laughed nervously. "I just thought…you know, you seemed like a dork from what he said."

"He is a dork," Lilly supplied flippantly, "The kind that plays World of Warcraft and owns every Grand Theft Auto game ever made. You just don't know him like I do." Oliver met her eyes and raised his eyebrows questioningly. What? That girl didn't know him. It was a fact, wasn't it?

"Oh, I don't really play video games," She said conversationally. "I played them in a sketch once though."

"Huh?" What was this girl like a member of SNL of something?

"Oh, since you ask," She snorted, waving her hand midair in some annoying spastic gesture. "I'm on this sketch comedy show called So Random!"

"I used to watch that all the time!" Oliver blurted enthusiastically, although it was the first she'd heard of it. And when had he ever liked anything that she hadn't? Besides, you know, Jessica Simpson because she was a bimbo sex symbol. And Mandy Moore, because Lilly was never into the whole teen romance movies she starred in…and then there was Joannie…but TV shows, when had that ever happened?

"Used to?" The girl frowned looking at her feet.

"Well, when Melanie left, I was kind of upset." Oh! The show with Melanie Carter. Blond, sporty, kind of bossy, totally Oliver's type. Boy had she been glad when that was over and she didn't have to watch "Gassy: The Wonder Dog" once a week.

"Kind of?" She laughed, smiling smugly at him. "You cried for a week."

"Well you don't have to rub it in," He hissed, glaring at her.

"Well, you know," Sonny piped, trying to remind them she was there. It was pretty hard, they sure liked to bicker. "I know Melanie was good, but if you ever happen to have a free half-an-hour Sunday at eight…"

Oliver glanced at Lilly, who was trying not to roll her eyes, and smirked, "We'll check it out."

"Oh my god, check out his shoes!" Sonny scoffed, looking down at his feet. This earned her the blank stares of Lilly and Oliver.

"Um, what?" Lilly asked, eyebrows raised.

"Are you trying to insult me?" Oliver questioned at exactly the same time.

"Never mind, it's a show thing," She sighed dejectedly. "Chad's in room C18."

"Thanks," Lilly smiled, grabbing hold of Oliver's wrist and yanking him into the elevator before he could continue flirting with sunshiny TV girl.

-A-C-C-I-D-E-N-T-S-

"Lilly, she just said C18," Oliver whined as his best friend yanked him down the wrong side of the hallway.

"C16, Oliver," She grumbled, continuing to pull him down the hallway by hand. "You want to go back and check so you can flirt with her some more?"

"I was not flirting with her," Except he was averting his eyes, which he always did when he lied.

"Yes, you were. "Sure we'll Check It Out," She mocked in the same high and annoying pitch Sonny had used.

"First of all, I so did not say it like that," He looked disgusted, "I am not suddenly Amber and Ashley. Second of all, maybe you're just jealous."

She snorted, knocking on the door, "And maybe you're just delusional."

"Why? It's like she said, I'm just as relatable as the average dork with the looks of a Greek god," He flipped his hair for effect. "Why wouldn't you want me?"

"Because clearly you've developed one of those personal image disorders that makes girls stick chicken bones in the place of their normal noses, except to the opposite effect if you think you look anything like a Greek god."

"She's right," a silky smooth voice stated behind her, causing her to jump. "I mean, me, I could pass for a Greek god, but you…well, you've got serious helmet head."

She turned toward him and almost fell over, "Eeep!" She cried, and she could practically feel her eyes turn into the back of her head. "You're…You're…CHAD DYLAN COOPER!" She heard a thud, and turned to see Oliver had jumped backwards into the wall.

"Would it kill you to go to a slightly lower octave?" He breathed, recomposing himself. "And who is this three-named doofus?"

He was met by both Chad and Lilly staring at him like he was a moron, "Chad Dylan Cooper," Lilly repeated condescendingly.

"Star of hit TV show Mackenzie Falls," Chad supplied.

"Winner of the Tween Choice Award four years running?"

"Greatest actor of our generation?"

He stared at them a moment and shook his head, "Yeah, no ringing a bell."

Lilly sighed and turned to Chad, "I'm so sorry. He's so ignorant, I mean downstairs he was totally fawning over that girl from So Random, and here we are talking to Chad. Dylan. Cooper…and he doesn't even know who you are!" She turned to look reprovingly at him. She couldn't believe him! Did he not even turn on the TV? And she knew he looked through those teen magazines for pictures of Taylor Swift to put on his wall.

"Sonny? He was flirting with Sonny?" Chad perked up suddenly. "When? What did he say? She isn't dating again, is she?"

"I was not flirting with her," Oliver groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I was being polite, we needed Jake's room number, didn't we?"

"Jake?" Chad cut in. "You're Jake's fans?" He hissed, looking offended. "First he doesn't know who I am, then Sonny goes out with my costar, and now Jake is more popular than me!" He cried dramatically. "I must be loosing my touch."

"We're his friends," Oliver rolled his eyes, "Like we'd waste our time stalking people like you."

"Oliver!" She whacked him as hard as she could, causing him to cringe. "Chad. Dylan. Cooper!" She hit him again. God, how could he be such an idiot in the presence of the greatest actor ever to walk this earth.

He looked Chad up and down. "You seriously like this guy?" Uh, duh! Why wouldn't you like him. He was cute, and talented, and charming…and just look at the way his eyes sparkled. They were blue and not brown but…wow.

She pulled herself away from gawking at him to nod in Oliver's general direction. "What's not to like?"

"Well, he kind of reminds me of Lucas," He stated, staring at Chad.

"Who?" Chad muttered, eyebrows up.

"He is nothing like Lucas. I mean…sure, he's a little self absorbed. And his hair…it's kind similar, but it's styled better. And his eyes…his eyes…" Except as she looked into his eyes, she realized something, "They are exactly the same." And then she forgot all about abusing Oliver. "You idiot!" She yelled, jumping on the so called actor. "I can't believe you had the nerve to star in a TV show after you cheated on me!" Of all the crappy days for him to show up she couldn't believe he was doing it today, she already had to kill one Teen Star. She didn't need another on her permanent record before she even got to senior year.

"GET HER OFF ME!" He screamed, "Get her off!"

"No way, man," Oliver laughed, watching his best friend pull a tuft of perfectly styled dirty-blond hair out.

"SECURITY! SHE'S KILLING ME!" He successfully pushed her off for a minute and attempted to run down the hall. "I don't even know a Lucas!" Except she didn't care, she was clawing at the only thing she could reach, his back. She was going to tear him open and then pull out his heart just like-

"Lilly!" Jake was pulling her off and back, while a worried looking Sonny tenderly cupped Lucas' face while examining his new bald spot. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"He cheated on me!" She accused, pointing at the rotten ass in front of her. "He cheated, and then ran from me. And I-I'm going to kill him!" She shouted.

"I didn't cheat on you!" He protested, staring up at her from the floor. "I don't like blonds."

"You don't?" Oliver and Sonny asked in unison.

Chad glared at Oliver, and then glanced at Lilly before pushing himself up. "You two are going to hear from my lawyers!" He shouted, storming down the hall.

"Oh no," Sonny's hand was over his mouth. "Chad, it'll grow back! Come on! It was a misunderstanding!" She stumbled after him. "I think it's cute!"

She smirked, so Sonny liked her ex-jerk face…or his doppelganger, "Looks like I had nothing to worry about."

Oliver turned to her, "What?"

"Nothing," The smile immediately wiped itself from her face. "I didn't say anything."

Oliver shook his head, and she smiled again as his deep brown hair moved with him. He has such nice, soft hair. Oops, she'd done it again.

"What are you two doing here?" Jake asked, finally letting go of Lilly's arms now that Chad Dylan Cooper was safely down the hallway.

"Um," Oliver mumbled, his brown meeting her blue. "Visiting?"

Lilly turned to Jake, who actually looked kind of excited that they were here even though they'd just beat up his coworker. "Have you talked to Miley yet?" She asked, she really couldn't kill him until Miley told him after all.

"Not in like four months," He shrugged. Lilly looked over at Oliver again, and his face looked about how she assumed hers, stricken with complete panic and terror.

Oh my god, Miley had slept with someone that wasn't Jake. When you heard pregnant you just assumed…because really, who else could it be? Had she even ever liked anyone else for more than two days?

"What's wrong?" Jake asked. "Did someone find out about Hannah?"

"Uh…" Except she kind of couldn't find the strength to answer. All she could do was look at Oliver and try not to cry.

AN: Cliffhanger! I know, this was bad of me. But look at the bright side, I didn't take a month to update this time, did I? And I probably won't again. I plan on finishing this story by the end of the summer. And I'll have the time to write. Sorry about all the SWAC stuff but I like the show, and I wanted to put the whole Lucas/Chad conflict into action because I actually have a crossover idea for it later on where I won't be able to have Lilly kick his ass...so yeah.