Chapter 6

Emily waited for her mother to begin another lecture about…whatever. Instead, she was totally unprepared as her mother opened her mouth.

"Isn't he divine Emily? I've never felt like this in my life. I really love him, more than any man I have ever loved. And if I find out you've been sneaking around trying to seduce him behind my back, I'll disown you. Cut you off completely. God knows why I'm worrying? You think he would be interested in you? The way you dress? Look at yourself Emily! Honestly where is your self respect?"

Yeah well it wasn't as if she knew, Emily thought to herself. Somewhere along the way she just seemed to have lost it; along with her integrity, her confidence, her team's trust, and her. But none of that she could say to the judgemental, disdainful woman in front of her.

"No mother, you've got nothing to worry about." She half agreed, half assured. Geesh, she and Gideon? Sometimes she honestly wondered what planet her mother lived on. It felt strange hearing her talk about her former senior colleague like that. Her mother said she 'loved' him. Emily didn't quite know what to make of that. From personal experience and years of observation, Emily had concluded that the Ambassador might know the definition of the word love, but that the feeling itself was as foreign to her as snowflakes to the grains of sand in a desert. But then again, she'd said 'Like no one before', so maybe it had actually started snowing in the Sahara. Somehow, Emily doubted it.

"Well, good." The ambassador said coldly. "Just so we're clear."

"We are, mother." Emily repeated, just glad to have this conversation over with. Her mother's love life wasn't something she was very keen on discussing.

"Good." The Ambassador repeated as well. An awkward silence followed. Mother and daughter stared at each other, and Emily thought that any random person they passed on the street wouldn't be more of a stranger than they were to each other in that moment. And not for the first time she wondered, what on earth had possessed her to come here in the first place?

Meanwhile, Gideon listened in to this conversation on his head phones, as he had planted a bug in Emily's room. He felt momentarily bad as he was invading her privacy, but dismissed it. He had hoped to hear something useful to the case, although he equally hoped Emily wouldn't be involved in any way or have any knowledge of the heinous crimes the ambassador was covering up. He was completely unprepared to hear the two women discussing him, as if he was some prize in a raffle. He disliked the way the Ambassador spoke to her daughter. He disliked a great many things about the Ambassador. But it was nothing he could use in his case.

Frustrated, he decided he could make one more attempt at finding out what had transpired exactly at the BAU. There was one person he thought would give the most insightful and unbiased account, so he picked up the phone, and dialled that person.

When Reid picked up the phone, Gideon knew instantly that something was wrong. He hadn't expected much, after all he'd left with just a letter for the boy-genius he'd grown so very close to. So Gideon didn't expect the boy to fall over himself with joy at his call. What he didn't expect either was for Reid to sound upset to the point of incomprehension, worried to the point of panic. Something had happened and Gideon's throat constricted with a dark sense of foreboding. The events at the BAU went out of the window in his mind.

"Reid, what is it? What's wrong?" He inquired, less gentle than he would've wanted to be.

"Gideon? It's… it's JJ. She's been shot."

He didn't know what to say.

Emily relished the moment of peace and quiet, finally being on her own. She could not wait to book that flight to Germany away from her mother and her mother's new love. She cursed under her breath as she heard the insistent knock on her door. She ignored it, believing it was her mother returning to lecture her.

The knocking grew louder, more forceful, and she could no longer resist opening it, ready to yell at the person and slam the door in their face.

Emily was relieved to see it was not her mother. But slightly annoyed to find Gideon had returned. She hoped he would not start with his incessant questioning again.

"May I come in?" He asked.

Emily was reluctant to stand aside and let him in. She was curious as to what had caused the look of horror on his face. But at the same time she realised in a deep place inside her mind that she did not really want to know that answer. She turned to walk inside without inviting him in. He followed behind her, closing the door behind himself.

As Emily turned to face him, she realised she was fidgeting. Her hands would not remain still. Her heart was racing. She took a breath, telling herself she was being crazy.

Gideon cleared his throat nervously. Emily saw his discomfort; it only served to escalate her own anxiety.

"Can we sit?" Gideon suggested.

Emily wasn't certain she wanted to sit with Gideon for this discussion, but she did so without protest.

Gideon silently caught her gaze with his dark penetrating eyes.

"JJ has been shot." He finally announced.

Those four words plunged Emily back into the scene weeks ago.

JJ… shot…

She lost track of her surroundings, the conversation with Gideon. Completely disoriented to time and place, the images in her mind held her captive. She had no control as memories came flooding back, both real and imagined.

She felt her own heart racing, felt panic rising, felt the shame.

Felt every hair stand on end, every muscle taunt as JJ extended her hand towards her, felt like she couldn't breathe as JJ took a step in her direction.

Felt her tired arm aching as she held that weapon pointed towards the most precious person in her life.

She heard the shot ringing loudly, engulfing the silence completely.

She felt the shock as the gun was ripped from her hand. Felt the sharp pain in her wrist.

Emily raised her eyes from the gun lying on the floor at her feet. Before she could even see JJ, her eyes caught sight of the blood, slowly spreading from where it was pooling under JJ's feet towards her. Thick, sticky, red liquid running across the pristine white floor. Inching closer and closer to her. The first drops seemed almost close enough to touch her feet. She could smell it, almost taste it. It made her sick.

Fear shattered her heart, images of blood filled her head. Pools of blood rising and growing, never receding, swallowing her whole as soon as she allowed that first drop to taint her. Her eyes were fixed on the red droplets, and she instinctively stumbled a few steps backward.

Those two steps back gave her time and space to look up. Her eyes wandered up all of JJ's body, tracing the thin red line that ran from her chest down to her heels. And then, she saw the bullet wound. Right where JJ's heart had been beating only minutes before. She saw the crisp white shirt, now stained and blood soaked. Finally her eyes found JJ's face. Only it wasn't JJ's face. It's wasn't JJ. Emily found herself staring at some lifeless creature, with a vacant dead stare, cold empty eyes fixed on Emily without really seeing her. A trickle of bright blood dripping from the mouth. That pale lifeless dead creature, that couldn't be JJ.

And in her mind Emily heard the words, relentlessly repeating their cruel taunting accusation. 'Emily, how could you?'