Author: vulgar shudder

Warnings: yaoi, AU, super-uke Cloud

Rating: PG for now

Pairings: ZackxCloud

Disclaimer: Do not own, no profit.

Summary: Cloud is a pianist at a breaking point, but his playing one night catches the interest of his neighbour…

Notes: If you're curious about the pieces mentioned, youtube is your friend.

Pathetique

Part 1 - Harmony of Discord

Cloud sat in front of the black and white keys, they seemed to be taunting him. He didn't know how long he'd been there, the clock ticked in earnest behind him. It was dark in his apartment, and that suited his mood fine.

He'd been brooding for the past week, and it had culminated in a stand off between him and the grand piano that took canter stage in the modern apartment.

Finally his hands moved over the keys, but they became paralysed before he could even press one key. It used to bring him such joy, but now just thinking about it brought him crushing anxiety.

He must play though, and finally he pressed the keys. The first movement of Beethoven's Pathetique. Getting through the opening was tough, he had to force himself to remain slow, and that only meant he had to keep his breathing slow as well.

Finally the heavier, dramatic part. He tried to put his feeling into it, but the jumps and repetitive notes were making the underside of his fore arms burn. A mistake, and another. His timing was off, it was all over the place, he was butchering it.

Finally he just slammed his hands down onto the keys, making the piano give out a dreadful sound. It was probably the best he would ever produce, he was useless.

Something in him snapped, and in a rage he stood picking up the piano stool beneath him. It was raised onto his shoulder, and he was ready to bring it down on the expensive piece of wood and strings. It was no good to him, absolutely wasted.

His breath came out hard as he hesitated. Do it, just destroy it and end this joke.

Cloud gritted his teeth about ready to do the deed when a frantic knocking came to his front door and it broke him from his thoughts.

He froze, clutching the leg of the chair it's weight starting to take it's toll on his grip but he was waiting for the knocking to stop.

It didn't, and he knew that it would be impossible to pretend no one was home after that performance. The man put the chair down, and reluctantly went over to the front door, tripping in the dark through the mine field of score books and sheet music scattered around the piano.

The knocking continued until he opened it a crack to squint outside.

There stood a tall man with dark spiky hair and faded t-shirt and sweat pants. He had obviously been woken from sleep. He looked a bit sheepish to be standing there, and put one hand on his hip as he scratched through his tangled hair.

"Um you know…" The man began. "As much as I'd love to hear you play more it's three AM and I really need to get up in the morning…"

Cloud's blue eyes widened in realisation. Of course what had he done, he'd just been creating a din through out the night.

"I…" Cloud began, but the words escaped him. He was embarrassed and ashamed for causing other people such a nuisance with his own selfish frustrations.

The man finally noticed Cloud's dumbness, and finally peered a bit closer at his face. Maybe it was the dark circles under the un-brushed hair that made him enquire, "Are you ok?"

Cloud nodded, it was the only thing he was certain he could do to communicate. "I'm sorry." He got out eventually.

The taller man grinned, "Eh no worries. I really wouldn't mind usually it's just tomorrow I got like something to do and…." He must have noticed Cloud looked like he wished the world would swallow him up. "But you can make it up to me by playing for me sometime, you sound really good."

What a joke, Cloud thought. "I'm sorry." He said his mouth working finally. "I'm very sorry it won't happen again." He said quickly before he closed the door on the dark haired man. What a fool I am, he thought to himself. No, that would definitely never be happening again.

Cloud trudged in through the hall way of his apartment building, back from another day at work. What job would a failed pianist have? A piano teacher of course. Just a teacher at a chain school, teaching mostly kids with no interest in the piano but pushy parents who made them come every week. He'd find himself gazing off into space as he listened to some piece the kid clearly hadn't practiced. He couldn't be bothered to admonish them for it, he just mechanically explained where they went wrong, what needed work, a few mandatory words of encouragement. But his heart wasn't in it, and that was harder to fake with adult students. They soon switched to different teachers, leaving him with the few odd balls with ulterior motives.

Punch in, and punch out. But he had little to look forward to outside of work, go back to his apartment, struggle to play, give up, and sulk.

His most recent bout of depression had been caused by an upcoming competition he was supposed to be entering. But he couldn't even choose a piece to play, let alone perfect it. So the entry form sat un-posted, destined for the trash when the dead line passed.

It was a miracle he had been able to leave his apartment after that late night incident for fear of bumping into his neighbour. Zack Fair, the mailbox had said. He'd moved in a month or so before, and he hadn't seen him before or since the night in question.

It looked like he was going to make it to his apartment door without another embarrassing encounter. Cloud pushed the lock into the door, and was about to turn it when he heard the next door along open.

He turned to see Zack, and in a panic turned the key and pushed his way into the door. But in the time it took to do that his neighbour gave him a grin. Cloud had tripped over himself and pushed the door back behind him, in a tangle with his messenger bag and scarf. Oh why now had he bumped into the other man, when he'd managed to go the previous month without incident.

Apollo hated him, it was as simple as that.

Cloud was wrestling with his scarf and bag when there was a knock at the door. He froze. Oh not again. He hadn't even been playing why would he be knocking again.

Throwing his bag and coat aside he had to go answer the door, the knocking was persistent. He cautiously opened it a crack, and indeed Zack was there and gave him a friendly smile.

"Hey I saw you were home, and I was wondering if I could hear you play…"

Cloud still only hadn't opened the door further, just stared back with his trade mark blank expression. His old piano teacher had commented on it many years ago, how when he was playing he'd stare down, neither focusing on his hands or the score. It was almost like a trance when he played.

But that still hadn't put Zack off. "And I can make dinner if that sweetens the deal. I'm not a bad cook." He tried to tempt.

It wasn't all that tempting to Cloud, but Zack wasn't going away, and he did owe him from what happened the other night. He stepped away from the door, flicking on some lights. There was still scores laying around, and he started collecting them into piles so he wouldn't have to look at t he other man.

He had obviously let himself in. There wasn't, because from somewhere behind him a voice said, "Hey I'm Zack. I know you're Cloud your mailbox is below mine, I should have introduced myself sooner."

Cloud didn't reply, he wanted to get this over with so he left the piles of books and went to sit at his grand piano that took centre stage in the studio apartment. He had two pianos, the traditional black grand and an electric piano. The electric he used when he played at night, and he could save and record things. But Zack was expecting something from the grand, so he waited in front of it not opening he lid yet. "What do you want to hear?" He asked, lets get this over with.

The voice was closer now, just behind him. "Oh anything, I don't really know about music."

Oh just great. Well what ever, he opened the lid and started playing. The 3rd movement of moon light sonata, something that needed to be played fast so he wouldn't need to concentrate on keeping a steady rhythm.

His body rocked gently with the fast movements his hands made. It was an intense piece, he had mastered it technically. He was relieved he wasn't making any mistakes…but his emotion as always was lacking.

His brow furrowed in concentration, and after a flowing crescendo he stopped prematurely, unable to make himself reach the end. He looked up, he was sweating from the effort needed to play the piece, and his eyes opened more in surprise. Zack had pulled a chair to face him from the side of the piano, and he was smiling.

"Wow…" The dark haired man started to give a slow clap, is he mocking me? "You're really good."

That embarrassed Cloud, and he looked down at his hands on his lap. It wasn't true either, anyone with knowledge of music would know.

He'd played now, would Zack leave? "I'm not…" He said quietly from beyond the locks of blond hair that now half obscured his face. "And I'm sorry about the other night again."

Zack seemed to wave him off. "Nah I didn't mind really, just I've never heard you play at night before."

Cloud nodded and looked over to the digital piano. "Head phones…" he explained.

Zack seemed to realise. "Ah… you know I was enjoying listening to it but then you just started hitting the keys. I wondered if something was wrong."

So his little break down had been that obvious? Cloud couldn't lift his gaze up. "I'm fine…" he lied, but didn't offer an explanation. He should have thanked Zack, his intervention had saved the block of walnut and strings. It was second hand but he was still paying it off.

Zack leaned his elbow on the piano to look around the room. There were book shelves packed with scores and theory books, but not much else in the modern hard wood floor apartment. "So what is it you do?"

He wasn't going to leave was he? "Piano teacher…" Cloud said.

Zack seemed impressed. "Hey that's cool, must be great doing something you love. I just work in an office, IT. Totally boring stuff."

Cloud didn't agree but said nothing. That didn't seem to deter Zack, and he got up to sit next to Cloud on the stool. The younger man's body tensed as he had to shuffle over to make room, and the side of his body was pressed against Zack's. "So come on Mr Piano Teacher, show me how to play something."

Was this guy serious? Oh god he was. Zack looked expectantly and placed one hand on the keys, and Cloud felt like he had but no choice. He reached over to move the sturdy fingers to the right position, the fingers felt softer than he expected.

Cloud moved his hand an octave down, and placed them in the same position. He pressed a key, and looked at Zack to follow. Another key, and then another, and then two together. Zack grinned as he recognised the tune. "Hey even I know this."

Cloud nodded, everyone did. "The flea waltz…" He said. Cloud showed the other man how to do the rest, and when he seemed to have the right hand piece down he told him. "Just keep playing like that." He brought his other hand up to play the left hand piece, and together they played the first 20 seconds, Cloud trying not to blush when he crossed his left hand over Zack's to play the higher notes.

It was passable, and Zack laughed when they stopped. "Hey you're a really good teacher if you can get even me to do that!"

Cloud looked away. "It's not that hard…" And it was only one hand…

Zack nodded in agreement, "I suppose not to someone as good as you, but to someone as tone deaf as me it's a miracle!" Cloud wanted to disagree, but airing one's failings with a stranger was hardly appropriate. Maybe Zack sensed this, because he continued. "Well now you definitely deserve dinner, I made meat balls if you want any."

Cloud shook his head. "No thank you…" He was uncomfortable being forced into conversation and such close proximity to another person, he'd never been social.

"Ah come on, it's my mother's recipe!" Zack persisted.

"I have to practice…" The blond haired man lied.

Zack nodded, seeming to understand. "Alright then, but any time it's just me. But hey maybe you can give me piano lessons, I'd pay of course."

Cloud didn't look so sure about that. "I'm not a good teacher…"

"Oh you can't be, you've got me playing already."

…the flea waltz? Everyone does that in junior high at least…

Zack stood finally from the stool, and put his hands on his hips. "But I'd like to hear you play again some time at least."

Cloud closed up the lid to the piano, "Sometime…" he said vaguely, hoping Zack would leave him to his misery.

"Deal. And there's always meatballs if you want them." Zack told him before strutting out the apartment. Cloud was wondering if he could sell his pianos before Zack came around again.

Cloud hadn't gone through with the idea of selling his pianos, but he didn't play much either. The deadline for the competition had gone already. With that out the way he didn't need to face the piano, it was the elephant in the room.

He'd seen his neighbour around now and again, and the other man tried to strike up conversation. He seemed oblivious to Cloud's shyness.

It was Sunday and his day off, and he sat with his lesson plans for the week. But the knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, it was him, no one else would be knocking.

Knowing better than thinking he could ignore it, he went to open the door. There was Zack again, "Hey Cloud, are you busy?"

Cloud considered lying, but what was the point. "No." He told him.

"Oh cool, I wondered if I could hang out, this Sunday is dragging." The darker haired man asked hopefully.

Cloud may be sullen but he wasn't mean. "If you want.." He said letting Zack in. The scores were tidied away on the book shelves now, but his lesson plans and reports were scattered over the rug by the sofa this time.

Zack saw them and hesitated past the threshold. "If now is a bad time…" He began, but Cloud shook his head.

"I've more or less finished anyway. Sit down if you want." He said going over to click the kettle on. "Tea, coffee?"

Zack went to the sofa and sat down, making himself at home. "Tea please. I've not heard you play recently. It seems a shame to use headphones when you got that piano over there…"

Rather he hadn't been playing at all. "Not felt like it." Cloud told him bringing their drinks over. There was no where else to sit other than the floor so he had to take a seat next to Zack.

"Ah shame, it was nice getting free concerts through the walls. I knew your days off were Sundays because I'd wake up and you'd be playing already. " Zack told him.

Cloud looked away guiltily, "Sorry…" That had been the month he'd been entertaining the idea of entering the competition.

"No that's not what I meant, I mean it was pretty sweet to lay there semi conscious and listen. My bed is right against that wall." He pointed to the one closest to the piano. "Excellent way to lay in on a Sunday morning."

Cloud felt embarrassed, and he distracted himself with his own cup of tea.

"You must enjoy it right, playing the piano right?" Zack asked.

"Must do…" Cloud said, he had dedicated his life to it after all. "What is your job like? IT you said…"

"Eh boring as hell, people call me up to say their computer isn't working. I ask have you tried turning it off and on? Nine times out of ten that works. The other time I get dragged up there and some idiot has got porn popping up every where. Or they've not turned the plug on at the mains. You really don't want to be dealing with that day in day out." Zack told him with a laugh. "I'd much rather I done something worth while, like you."

"It really isn't that good…" Cloud tried to explain. He finally looked back at Zack, wanting to explain how he was an utter failure, to spill all the frustration he'd been feeling for two years. Cloud was about to say something, but he was hesitant. "Shall I play?" He asked. He may be rubbish but if it was only Zack listening…

"Eh, you don't have to, I mean I didn't come around to pester you to perform." Zack tried to ease him.

"It's no problem…" Cloud told him, he was decided. It felt like a long time since anyone had enjoyed listening to him play. Somewhere inside him there was a small buzz of excitement that he could just maybe, maybe please someone with his playing. He left Zack on the sofa, and approached the grand. He sat, and quickly started playing. Fur Elise, it was coming off rather lightly and optimistic.

At some point Zack joined him on the piano stool, but Cloud didn't break in his play. He got to the complicated middle parts, and got drawn into playing a bit harder. If he had been listening critically he would have commented 'desperation', but he pulled back to the lighter melody. He got to the end notes, and looked beside him to Zack.

When his finger stopped on the last note, Zack finally said, "very cool." Cloud felt his face feel hot, and he looked down to hide his blush. The other man bent down to look under the hair and laughed gently. "Ha cute, you shouldn't be embarrassed."

"I'm not, it's an easy piece." Cloud said playing the opening melody with his right hand. "I use this for my student's first piece…" He played a few more difficult chords. "Add the middle bit, and it's an upper intermediate, grade 7." It was easier to concentrate in teacher mode, trying to forget the warm body touching his, the unfamiliar spicy aftershave.

Cloud started playing something a bit more jazzy. It sounded like he should be in a hotel bar taking requests.

But Zack didn't seem to mind. "How long have you been playing?"

"Mmm…since I was five." Cloud told him.

Zack whistled softly. "Musical prodigy hey."

That made Cloud slip up. "No. Nothing like that." The bitter taste of resentment came back, and he slowed his playing to a stand still.

Zack seemed to notice, and changed topics. "Dude your tea will be cold. I'll make you another." And the warm body beside him was gone.

Cloud started playing on Sunday mornings again.