Dumb Little Spacejourney For Two

By: Jaha Canon

Disclaimer: Gee, I must really like typing the word disclaimer because I keep doing it everytime. Someone please do me a favor and tell me I can stop. What ARE these for, anyway?

Hello! This is the sequel to my other story Dumb Little Spacehouse for Two. I suppose you don't really have to read that story to understand this one, but it certainly help understand how exactly Zim and Dib ended up in this particular neck of the galaxy. Anyway, up to you.

As you can see, I decided to go for a simplier title than what I was thinking of before.

Thank you to September Rhyme and Chaos of the asylum for their reviews of the last chapter. Thanks also to Tallest Black (Obey the Tallest!) for sending me a message.

~----~~~----~~~~---~~~

"WHY. ARE. YOU. SOOOOOOOO SLOW??" Zim screamed as he kicked the interior of the spaceship.

"Oh, that's a great idea, Zim," Dib said dryly, his arms crossed. "Could you stop damaging the inside of our escape vehicle?"

"I -would- do that, Dib creature, if it weren't SO. STUPIDLY. SLOW!" Zim replied. He was starting to tire himself out.

Dib looked apologetically at the pilot.

"Nah," the pilot said, waving his hand dismissively, "she's been through worse."

"Hey, um..." Dib sat in the seat next to the pilot's. "What's your name, by the way?"

"Me?" the pilot asked, seeming both surprised and delighted.

"Well, yeah, you." Dib said, he wondered who else he could've been referring to.

"I'm Racing Drone Number 103086." the pilot replied, proudly. "Or was that 103087..."

"Psssh, stupid racing drone forgetting his own number..." Zim mumbled as he tiredly sat down.

"I can't call you that." Dib said, ignoring Zim. "Drone... drone... jer... Hey! I could call you Jerome." pause "But that doesn't really suit you."

The pilot already looked like he forgot they were talking.

"Is it ok if I call you Ten?" Dib asked. No answer. "Hey, ummm... do you mind if..." The pilot's eyes were glued to the stars beyond the spaceship's windshield.

"RACING DRONE!" Zim screamed, kicking the back of the pilot's chair.

The pilot blinked, "Oh... hiya. What's up?" He looked at Zim questioningly. Zim pointed to Dib.

"Hey, would it be ok if I called you Ten?" Dib asked.

The pilot, now Ten, shrugged indifferently, but the same smile was on his race. "'s ok!"

Zim crossed his arms, "Still just a racer drone to me."

"Hmm..." Ten said thoughtfully, "maybe not no more."

Dib frowned, "Why's that?"

"Well, Koach is probably real mad right now. Cuz you guys broke that planet and all."

Something clicked in Zim's head, he let out a frustration groan.

Dib filled with dread. "Who's... coach?"

"Koach, STOOPID HYUUMAN," Zim explained, "is the leader of the planet Sportscastia. He and Produce-Sir have had a long, very well known....... alliance."

"Yup!" Ten chimed in. "They're friends. They're like this!" He held up his fingers to show that they were crossed.

"So, if he's mad, he might come after us." Dib guessed. "So I guess disabling Realiteevee and Produce-Sir wasn't enough."

Zim made sort of a "pssh" sound and did something that looked like would have been an eye roll of he had his human disguise on. "Koach smoach... he is no match for ZIM!"

Ten fidgeted nervously and Dib noticed.

"Hey Ten...?"

"Whoops, there's the planet!" Ten said suddenly. He steered the ship towards the surface to make a landing. "We just gotta stop for fuel here."

Zim looked out the window and frowned, "No way we're going THERE."

Dib looked at the planet trying to figure out what Zim was seeing or recognizing. "Where is that?"

"No one, I repeat, NO ONE in the Irken empire has any use for this planet, except for it's gooey productions melt the brains of our enemies."

"Got no choice, lil guy." Ten said with a smile, "Gots no fuel."

Zim seethed and began trying to burn a hole into Ten's head using only his eyes.

"What kind of planet is it, Ten?" Dib asked.

"It's real big. And round-"

"No, Ten, I mean what's it called?"

"Oh, umm.. Soapsudcia."

"Soapsudcia?" Dib repeated.

"A DISGUSTING planet that produces what you might be more familiar with calling... soap operas." Zim explained. The Irken had already began clearing out a cupboard to hide in.

Dib cringed, "But we're just going to be there long enough to refuel, right? How long does that take?"

"Oh, 'bout 3 hours." Ten replied, casually.

"Oh." Dib said, a little more than slightly stunned. "Well, a couple of hours shouldn't be too bad."

The spaceship landed on the surface of the planet. Ten exited the spaceship. "Well, come on, guys! The fueling drones will take care of ship."

Dib complied and exited the vehicle. "Are you coming Zim?" Silence. "Zim?" More silence. "Ten, where's Zim?"

"I think he's in there." Ten answered, pointing at the cupboard.

"There is NO WAY that ZIM is setting foot on this planet...." came the Irken's voice from inside the cupboard.

Ten shrugged. "Well, okey dokie. C'mon Dib."

Dib took one last look at the cupboard and followed Ten.

---~~~~----~~~~-----~~~~~~~~

In all of his Irken wisdom, Zim should've thought to pick a cupboard that was just a little bigger.

Plus, well, he was getting hungry.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to run to get a snack before Zim is back on that disgusting URRTH again." he told himself. Hugging himself reassuredly and finding himself unable to stop doing so, he crawled out of the cupboard and out of the spaceship.

---~~~~-----~~~~~~-----~~~~~~

"So is this WHOLE planet like a soap opera?" Dib asked, both terrified and interested.

"Yup! Pretty sillly, huh?" Ten answered with a grin.

"There you are!" yelled an accusing voice behind them. Both turned to see a female alien glaring at Ten. "After 15 years you finally return. Do you -know- how hard it is raise young on your own?"

Ten shrugged. "I suppose it's real hard." He looked at Dib's questioning gaze and shrugged good naturedly.

"Look who decided to come back...." said a loud booming voice. A very large, intimidating alien stepped out of the house that the female alien came from. He began stomping towards Ten and Dib.

"No, brother!" The female alien exclaimed, "Don't hurt him!"

"But he caused you so much pain these past 15 years, little sister!" the monster of an older brother replied.

Suddenly, the female alien's phone rang. "Hello? Oh no! We'll be right there!" She hung up her phone. "Uncle Jeb is in the hospital!"

The giant alien gasped, "He must be relapsing!" Both of them took off.

Dib watched them run off with an absolutely baffled expression. "Who were those people, Ten?"

Ten shrugged. "Iuno. Never seen 'em before. But that's how things happen here."

"...Oh."

The two continued walking.

They found themselves walking a park. They passed a couple sitting, talking on a park bench.

"You're hiding something and I know it. Is there something you can't tell me?"

"I... I... can't say it."

"Please, if it's important, tell me. I love you too much to know that you're suffering alone."

"But... I... I... ok, I will tell you."

"I'm listening."

"I... have cancer."

"...."

"I knew it! I knew that you would go silent like that."

"No, I mean..."

"What?"

"I have cancer, too."

Dib walked a little faster. "Does everyone here have cancer?"

"Yup, either that or they're pregnant. Or they were stabbed.... or they are about to stab someone. Or..."

"Maybe Zim had the right idea staying in the ship." Dib said, visibly disturbed.

"You wanna go back to the ship?" Ten asked, sounding a little disappointed.

"Yeah, sorry Ten."

"Okie dokie then."

They turned and started walking back.

When they arrived back, only an hour had passed since they arrived at the planet.

"Hey Zim. We're back." Dib said. There was no reply. "Zim?" He walked cautiously to the cupboard (he and Zim ARE still enemies, after all) and opened it. "He's not in there."

"Hm, that's real bad." Ten said.

"What? Why?" Dib asked.

"Well... this planet has a real bad effect on Irkens."

Dib's eyes widened. "What -kind- of bad effect?" Just then he spotted Zim. "There he is!" He pointed.

Ten looked the exact opposite direction from where Dib was pointing. "Where?"

"Over there! In that store." Dib nudged Ten to get him to be facing the right direction.

They went into the store.

Zim was standing on top of the counter. He was holding onto the collar of the shopkeeper's shirt. "You don't understand. You MUST tell me her name!"

"I would, sir, but I don't know her name either." the poor alien replied.

"Don't you know TRUE LOVE when you see it?" Zim exclaimed dramatically.

"Zim?" Dib interrupted cautiously.

"The Dib!" Zim let go of the shop keeper, spun around, jumped off the counter, ran up to Dib, and grabbed his shoulders. "Come! We must go find her!"

"Who, Zim?" Dib asked.

"My one true love!" Zim lamented. "She was here and now she is NOT!"

"Love? ...You?" Dib said with amusement.

"Surely you understand LOVE, Dib creature, your species more or less survives from it, remember?"

"Well, yes, I do remember, but..."

"The Dib must help me find her." he began dragging the human towards the door. He suddenly stopped and stared off into space. "ZIM is... dying inside."

"Dying inside? Haven't we wanted to kill each other since the day we met?" Dib said, increasingly baffled.

"Dib. Please! You're my best friend in the whole universe." He looked into Dib's eyes both intensely and pleading. So much so that Dib had to look away and blink a few times to try to erase the image from his mind.

That's right. Dib thought, I suppose I would be Zim's best friend because he has no friends. He shuddered a little.

Come to think of it. Neither do I. Except maybe Ten.

"Remember when we were housemates?" Zim said in a nostalgic tone as the dragged Dib down the sidewalk.

"Oh, come on, Zim. We just got away from Realiteevee last night." Dib argued while he attempted to drag his feet. When did Zim get so strong?

He glanced behind and noticed with relief that Ten was following them.

"Come on, Dib, do this for Zim! Help Zim find her!" Zim said pleadingly.

"Zim, quit it now, this is really really creepy."

"But.. Dib...." Zim made a sound that resembled a sob, "could it be... that there's absolutely no one beside me in the world?" He looked Dib.

Dib was startled. Tears. On Zim's face.

"Umm...." Dib's eyes darted around. "Hey Zim, look!" He pointed the opposite direction. "There she is!"

Zim spun around to face the direction Dib was pointing. "Where?!"

Dib took this opportunity to twist his arm out of Zim's hold and run off. Ten joined him in running as he passed him.

"If I have nightmares, it's all Zim and this planet's fault."

Ten chuckled but made of reply, which made Dib wonder if he understood what he was laughing about at all.

"Let's just get the spaceship and take off." Dib said.

"There's still another hour." Ten replied. "So we can't."

Dib glanced behind him. "We really should get out of here before Zim finds us again."

"You really wanna leave without Zim?"

"Yes, Ten, I really want to leave without Zim."

Ten looked extremely uncomfortable with the idea. "Well, if ya say so. But still gonna be an hour."

"Ok. Well, let's just lay low until we can finally get out of here. Come on, let's grab something to eat."

"Alrighty."

--~~~----~~~~~-----

"Diiib...mon...ster...."

Dib froze. Did Zim find them? He turned to see Zim crawling towards them.

Dib had to poke fun at him. "What Zim? Do you have cancer? Oh, or are you pregnant or stabbed?"

"Dib..." the Irken struggled as he climbed into the seat next to Dib. "Get... Zim... outofhere..."

"Hey Zim, the love of your life broke her leg and is in the hospital."

"No! I must go to her!" Zim exclaimed, he jumped from his chair and began to run. He stopped himself, fell to the ground again, dragged himself back to Dib's table and clutched the table leg. "....No.... nodibdon'tsay...that. Must... leaveplanet."

Dib looked at Ten questioningly.

"He's fightin' it, isn't he?" Ten said, clearly impressed.

Zim looked worn out, but he nodded a reply.

Dib looked at Ten for a while, then sighed. "Ok, Zim." he said after a while. "If I am going to abandon you on a planet, I should at least have the decency to leave you on a planet that suits you a little better."

Zim gave Dib a immensely rare grateful look. Then he gave into the power of the planet again, jumped up, and began running towards to the door. "I'm coming sweetheart!"

Dib turned to Ten and gave him a nod. Ten hopped up, caught up to the Irken quickly, and grabbed him before he could get away.

"No! You don't understand!" Zim sobbed hysterically as he clawed at Ten to try to escape. "She's having a BABY. It's not mine but I will be the best father I can be! I LOVE HER!"

Dib smiled at Ten, "I really wish I had my video camera right now."

They paid for the food and brought the still struggling Zim back to the spaceship.

"Yup. All fueled and ready to go!" Ten announced.

"Good. I can't wait to get out of here." Dib replied.

"NO! NOOOO! You can't do this to me!" Zim's hysterics continued.

"You'll thank us later." Dib said coolly. "No, wait, you're Zim, you won't." He shrugged.

Zim struggled against the ropes that were tying him to the chair as the spaceship took off again into the sky.

Zim's struggling slowly ceased and he began blinking confused.

"Are you feeling better, Zim?" Dib asked, untying him.

Suddenly, memories of everything that happened flooded back into Zim's head. He got off the chair and climbed back into the cupboard.

"Guess he needs some time to regather his dignity." Ten said in one of his rare moments of wisdom.

"That's fine with me. I need some time to make sure that the memory of soap opera Zim is blocked from my mind forever." Dib said as he stared out the windshield at the stars.

"Awww.. sorry you didn't like Soapsudcia." Ten said, "It can really kinda silly and fun sometimes."

Dib gave Ten a strange look, "Hey, if you don't mind me asking. What planet ARE you from, anyway?"

~~~---~~~---~~~~

…I guess it's technically a "Dumb Little Spacejourney for Three" at the moment. Oh well… :)

Oh yeah, and I do realize that "Tenn" is the name of an Irken invader. I don't know, I still like the name Ten for the racing drone guy. Plus Dib doesn't know what any of the Irken invaders names are, so it wouldn't matter to him anyway. *insert gigantic shrug* Really, I just kind of wanted to give him a three letter name because all of the major IZ characters do.