Rosalie logged on
Jasper: Hey, Rose.
Rosalie: Hey. Where is everyone? I figured they'd all be on here by now.
Jasper: I believe they're all either hiding, fighting, or crying.
Rosalie: Okay... So what did I miss?
Jasper: Eh, nothing really. Just Bella's having a sleep over with Voldemort, and Jacob got jealous and threatened my Alice, for which I voodoo'd him in the arm; Edward writes with a pencil, and Jacob did something in a police car which made Bella cry and leave, which made Edward cry and leave, which made Emmett laugh and get tackled.
Rosalie: That doesn't sound like nothing, Jasper.
Jasper: You're right. This does: ...
-silence-
Rosalie: -_-
Emmett logged on
Emmett: Can either one of you tell me where to get one of those cannons that shoot people out of it?
Jasper and Rosalie: ...
Emmett: It doesn't have to shoot the person far. 100 yards tops.
Jasper: I'm sure you can find one at a circus... and maybe you'll stay there this time. *sniggers*
Rosalie: Why on earth would you want one of those, Em?
Emmett: *opens his mouth to answer*
Rosalie: Wait! On second thought, I don't want to know the answer to that.
Alice logged on
-the only thing that appears on Alice's screen is a miniature stage-
Jasper: ... Alice?
-an Alice puppet appears-
Alice: Hi, Jazz!
Jasper and Rosalie: o-O Um...
Emmett: I second the Um's...
-the real Alice peeks up-
Alice: My, you all look more confused than a blind vampire in La Push. It's like you've never seen a puppet show before.
Emmett: Why do you have a puppet show?
Alice: Why do you want a cannon?
Emmett: *opens his mouth to answer*
Alice: It was a rhetorical question!
Emmett: Why does nobody want to hear my reason? :(
Jasper: *ignores him* Why do you have a puppet show, Alice?
Alice: Well, your voodoo dolls got me thinking... puppets!
Rosalie: Don't you think we're a little too old for puppet shows?
Alice: Not these puppets. *shows how detailed her Alice puppet is* Look, you can even change her face expression.
Jasper: It is pretty impressive handiwork.
Emmett: Who else do you have?
Alice: Well...
-two new puppets appear-
Carlisle: HI WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN WHO I SO COMPASSIONATELY ADOPTED!
Esme: What he said! ^-^
Emmett: Ha-ha! It looks just like them.
Esme: We love you so much! Where are Edward and Bella?
Carlisle: Yes. Where are they? Tell them we love them, too.
Esme: Did we mention we love you? ^-^
Esme: Alice, what are you doing?
Alice: eep!
Emmett: *snickers* Busted. She's making fun of you Esme.
Alice: Am not.
Esme: Oh, puppets! How adorable. *joins Alice*
Alice: Here, you can be Edward, I will be Bella.
Edward: I'm Edward. I like music, mountain lions, and...music...and mountain lions. And the smell of strawberries and freesia.
Bella: And I'm Bella. I just loooovvveee clothes!
Esme: That's it, I'm Bella.
Alice: Aww :(
Emmett: lol Good try, Alice.
Alice: Fine. Just for that... *imitates Edward's voice perfectly*
Edward: Bella, love, I think you're beautiful either way, of course, but...you've gotten fat lately.
Esme: Alice! Edward would never say that.
Alice: Esme, would you play along!
Edward: I'm just saying you should stop having midnight snacks in the middle of the night.
Bella: If us humans aren't supposed to have late night snacks, then why is there a light in the fridge?
Edward: So the fruits and vegetables can see!
Rosalie: Wow. This is great, this is wonderful. *sarcastically pretends to be two people having a conversation* 'Hey, what do century-old vampires do in their free time?' 'Well, they play with puppets like a toddler.' 'That's just what I always thought!'
Everyone else: -_- We're just having fun.
-the Bella puppet is replaced by a Rosalie one [Esme at the controls]-
Rosalie: Ta-da *poses*
Rosalie: :o
-Alice puppet comes back-
Alice: Rosalie, guess what? My favorite movies are suspense!
Rosalie: Liar.
Alice: How do you know?
Rosalie: You, my psychic sister, always have to know what's going to happen, and therefore you hate suspense.
Alice: Wrong-o!
Rosalie: Let's ask the others. Am I wrong here?
Edward: Yes.
Rosalie: Nobody asked you!
Edward: :O
Emmett: I wanna try the puppets!
Emmett logged off
-a moment later a bear puppet hops on the stage, along with an Emmett puppet-
Grizzly Bear: Who are you?
Emmett: You're vampire nightmare. Mwahaha!
Grizzly Bear: *is unphased* You're not very fang-a-licious.
Emmett: Shove it, Fuzzy Wuzzy *roar* *kills bear*
Alice: *pushes Emmett away* Grizzlies, grizzlies, grizzlies! Is that all you ever think about? You're a terrible puppet master.
Emmett: I was just getting to the good part!
Carlisle logged on
Edward logged on
-puppet Esme waves-
Esme: Hi, Carlisle!
Carlisle: Um...
Jasper: That was my first reaction, too.
Edward: Why are you all playing with puppets?
Emmett: *points at Edward menacingly* Emmett doesn't like you! Once he gets his cannon you're getting blasted out of this state! ...well, 100 yards tops.
Rosalie: *rolls her eyes and grumbles* I knew I didn't want to know.
Edward: If you stopped to think before you spoke, I wouldn't be tempted to attack you.
Carlisle: Emmett, you're not getting a cannon. Especially to shoot your brother out of.
Emmett: *starts doing kung-fu moves* Yes, Daddy C, I really am.
Carlisle: ... Alice, could you look ahead into the future.
Alice: How about back into the future?
Carlisle: And how exactly would you accomplish looking back into the future?
Alice: I dunno. It was just a suggestion... Wanna see my Volturi puppets first?
Everyone: O-o You have the Volturi-
-Aro, Caius and Marcus puppets take the stage-
Alice: Aren't they creepy? ^.^ Here, Esme, take Aro and Caius.
Emmett: I'll be Alice!
Aro: Alice, dear, what brings you here.
Alice: Well, Aro, I've decided to join you.
Aro: *-* Really?
Alice: NOPE! Bwahahaha! *runs away, laughing like crazy*
Aro: Hey, you really shouldn't play with people's emotions like that T~T
Marcus: Dammit, Aro, we're not people!
Caius: Aww, Marcus, go easy on him... Poor thing...
Edward, Carlisle, Jasper & Rosalie: *are speechless*
Jasper: Wow.
Edward: I hope you three realize that you got their personalities-
Emmett & Alice: PERFECT! We know!
Bella: That was funny! 8D
The Cullens: BELLA?
To be continued...
I was playing with my niece earlier, trying to entertain her with her puppets (she was all giggly, so I assumed I was doing a good job, lol). Of course, playing with them made me think 'What if my Twilight Chat characters made their own tiny versions of Twilight chats?' It might be random but...what isn't? :D
On another note, I love your reviews! Thank you! ^.^