Well, it happened. There was copious amounts of cookie dough, discussion between friends and the result was the Akatsuki's version of Kidnap the Sandyclaws (Nightmare before Christmas). Do feel free to have the song on in the background – it should all fit! Enjoy the songfic (of sorts).

Kidnap Mr. Naruto

After receiving such an important mission, Konan, Deidara and Sasori left Pein's office in silence. They walked down the dark, damp corridor together but before too long they began to think of what they had actually been told to do…

Konan:
"Kidnap Mister Naruto?"

Deidara:
"I wanna do it!"

Sasori:
"No way, Hoe!"

Konan:
"Pein said we should work together..."

Sasori:
"Three of a kind?"

Deidara:
"Birds of a feather!"

All:
"Now and forever!
La-la-la-la-la-la,
La-la-la-la-la,
La-la-la-la-la-la,
La-la-la-la-la!
Kidnap the Kyuubi-brat, he's really not that bright, jump on him and make him scream, give him such a fright!"

Konan:
"First we're going to set some bait (ramen) inside a nasty trap and wait. When he comes a' sniffing we will snap the trap and close the gate!"

Sasori:
"Wait! I've got a better plan to catch that stupid foxy man. Let's pop him in a boiling pot and when he's done I'll puppet him up!"

All:
"Kidnap the Kyuubi-brat. We could use that fox; taking over villages, we are gonna' rock!"

Konan:
"Then Jashin's mad immortal man… can take the whole thing over then!"

All:
"He'll be so please I do declare that he will skin him bare! Weeee~!"

Deidara:
"I say that we take a lit bomb, leave it at his door and then knock three times and when he answers, Naruto will be no more!"

Konan: (smacking Deidara upside the head)
"You're so stupid! Think now, if we blow him up to smithereens we may lose some pieces and then Pein will beat us black and green!"

All:
"Kidnap the Kyuubi-brat, make him really sad. Beat him up with ramen-sticks; see if he gets mad. Because Pein and the Akatsuki are the meanest guys around. If I were on their target list I'd get out of town…"

Deidara:
"They'll be so please by are success-"

Sasori:
"-That they'll reward us too, I'll bet!"

Both:
"Perhaps they'll make their special brew of miso-ramen stew!"

All:
"We're Pein's little henchmen and we take our jobs with pride. We do our best to please him and stay on his good side."

Konan:
"I wish my cohorts weren't so gay!"

Deidara:
"I'm not the gay one!"

Sasori: (rolling his eyes)
"Sure… no way…"
(Dodges a low flying C1 bomb.)

Konan:
"SHUT UP!"

Deidara:
"Make me!"

Konan:
"I've got something: listen now! This one is real' good you'll see! We'll send a toy fox to his door, upon there'll be a note to read. Now in the fox we'll wait and hide until his large stupidity entices him to bring it in, and then we've got him, that's the thing!"

All:
"Kidnap the Kyuubi-brat, poke him in the eyes. Break his arms and crack his back, tell him lots of lies. Kidnap the Kyuubi-brat, chop him into bits. That psycho cutting Jashinist is sure to get his kicks! Kidnap the Kyuubi-brat, see what makes him bleed. Lock him in a cage and then throw away the key…!"

Konan began to giggle in a high pitched way that could send shivers down the spine of any strong ninja. As the trio continued to walk through Akatsuki's hidden base, Kisame, who had been listening to the whole thing from further down the hall, felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle.

"What the hell? What just happened? THEY BURST IN TO SONG? THEY'VE ALL GONE CRAZY!"

Itachi crept up behind Kisame and said softly, "Haven't they always been crazy?"

Kisame, who had been oblivious to Itachi's presence until he spoke, jumped a foot in the air, fainted while he was up there and then fainted on the spot. Itachi smirked and walked off.

I had loads of fun writing this! The original idea was sort of different… but it got written on a scrap of paper…and then I lost the piece of paper… so then I had to think it up from memory. Sorry it's a little odd! I hope you guys liked it anyway!

WhenSarahSmiles