A/N: This was my first foray into the world of fan fiction, so I hope you guys respond well to it. I'm obsessed with Gossip Girl and this story just kinda came out of me one night. I wrote for like 4 hours, and then edited and edited for about two months. Please give me feed back, the more honest that better.

Chapter 1

Nate had always wondered if Chuck knew. If Chuck knew of the way Nate looked at him, longed for him. If he knew that everything Nate did was for his approval. If Chuck knew that Nate had loved him for their entire lives. But Nate was always too afraid to press the boundaries of their friendship. He couldn't lose Chuck. He could handle losing Blair and Serena, and his brief tryst with Jenny wasn't even important, but he just couldn't lose Chuck.

Chuck was his everything.

And surely, Chuck had to have some sort of clue. Chuck had to know that they were something more than friends; more than brothers even. Chuck had to know how desperately Nate loved him. Nathaniel Archibald was in love with Chuck Bass. And Nathaniel Archibald had no way to communicate this desire. All he knew was the burning in his chest every time he saw Chuck. He could feel his skin shiver every time Chuck said his name. Nate shuddered to think that in a few short months, he was leaving. He knew he had to do something, just so he could have some piece of mind.

Nate made the all too familiar walk towards Chuck's penthouse; he had walked thousands of times. The walls soaked with memories of drunken stumblings after a long nights of partying, memories of laughing and joking after school, the memories of late night talks, and the countless joints passed between the two in the hallway. God, he thought, I'm gonna miss this. As he pulled the key from his pocket, he noticed that he was shaking. Why am I so nervous, he thought. He had done this a million times. Why was tonight different?

He opened the door to find Chuck lounging on a sofa, smoking a cigarette in complete darkness. Even through the dim apartment, Nate could see Chuck's silky, white skin. He was shirtless, except for his token silk scarf, and was still wearing his uniform pants. Nate immediately wanted to pounce on him and kiss every inch of his chest, but somehow resisted. Nate had always envied Chuck's body. While Nate knew he looked good, how his tan skin stretched across ripped muscle and perfect abs, Chuck was smooth and pale; yet Nate could sense sinewy strength hidden beneath the slender frame of Chuck's body.

"You're looking a little bit worse for wear, Nathaniel."

"I'm just tired is all."

"Oh, poor baby. I bet it's nothing a little scotch can't fix."

Nate had never liked the taste of scotch, but Chuck loved it, so he agreed to have a drink. Nate sat on the sofa and grabbed the carton of cigarettes Chuck had left on the sofa. They were some exotic, clove blend that smelled and tasted of cinnamon. He took one out and lit it with the lighter on the glass coffee table. He let the warm smoke fill his lungs as he took a long drag. The cinnamon smoke rose up in delicate plumes as he exhaled in the direction of Chuck. Whenever Chuck was around, Nate just couldn't help but stare. He stared at the smooth, ivory skin stretched tightly across Chuck's strong frame, how his broad shoulders tapered into a perfect waste, and the heavenly ass that rested right below it. He also loved the dark locks of hair that sat messily on Chuck's head.

"Nathaniel, you're silence is bothering me. Either say something or I'm going to have to find someone else to amuse myself with."

"Fuck you. You know nobody would deal with your bullshit, but me."

"My, aren't we a little passive-aggressive today? Did we not have our daily toke?"

"I- I'm just a little on edge." He paused, taking another long drag from the cigarette. "You know, school's almost over and I leave in just a couple months, and I just-"

"What?"

"I just have a lot of things flying around in my head."

Chuck handed the glass to Nate as he took a long sip. He grabbed the cigarette from Nate and took a drag before flicking the ash.

"You know you can tell me anything, Nathaniel. You're the only one I allow this with."

"Why?"



"Why what?

"Why are you this way with me, Chuck. I mean, nobody sees you like I do. Blair hasn't even seen you completely--"

"Vulnerable."



"I don't even think that word belongs in the Bass dictionary. So why me? I know we've known each other our whole lives, but why haven't you grown tired of me like everything else in your life?"

"Because..."

"Because what, Chuck?"

Chuck's face grew still. Even in the darkness, Nate knew he wasn't looking at him. He always felt lost with Chuck. Like no matter what they had just talked about, Chuck was always somewhere else. Nate couldn't handle it anymore. He got up to leave. Then he felt a hand on his wrist.

"Because I..... Because I love you, Nate. More than I have loved anyone."

Nate was in complete shock. Did I just hear Chuck say that? Did Chuck Bass truly admit to having feelings for me.

"Did you hear me, Nate? I said I love you."



What happened next happened so quickly. Nate whipped around and grabbed Chuck's face in his hands. He could feel some wetness beneath his fingertips. He then laid a soft kiss on Chuck's lips.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

Nate kissed Chuck again, this time slower, more passionate. He let Chuck's tongue slide into his mouth, the taste of scotch mingled with cinnamon. Nate pulled away just long enough to say:

"I love you."

This time Chuck initiated the kiss. This kiss was different from the first two. This kiss was hungry. Nate submitted to the kiss. Their tongues clashed as each tried to taste the other more. Nate wasn't sure how it happened, but somehow they ended up on the floor, Chuck straddling Nate.

They began to kiss even harder. They couldn't get enough. Nate could feel himself getting harder by the second, and could feel that Chuck was reacting the same. Nate sat up with Chuck still on top of him, as he fumbled with getting his tie off. Chuck's hands darted to the buttons on Nate's shirt. As Chuck pushed the wrinkled fabric off of Nate's shoulders, Nate pushed Chuck onto his back. This all happened without parting from the kiss.

Nate began grinding his manhood in between Chuck's hips, and he could hear Chuck moan softly. Nate's mind raced, and all he could do was slowly move his kisses down Chuck's neck and shoulder blade. Chuck grasped Nate's hair tightly, while his other hand scratched across Nate's bronze back. Nate reached down to their twin erections, releasing Chuck's from his pants. Chuck took this cue, and did the same for Nate.

"I love you," Nate said.

"Please say it again. I need to feel something, anything."

Nate pulled up and looked dead into Chuck's eyes. He got lost in the dark pools of sadness that had always looked so mischievous. He wanted to take all of Chuck's pain away, and to replace it with love. His love.

"I love you."

Nate resumed kissing Chuck, his lips moving down his chest, to the flat tender nipples. Nate couldn't believe how delicious Chuck was. How his skin was sweeter than anything he's ever tasted, yet reveled in the must that only a man can make.

Chuck pulled Nate's lips to his own, as he wrapped his fist around Nate's already leaking cock. He jacked it slowly, teasing Nate. Nate's body shuddered with every thrust, but he refused to let go of the kiss. He moaned into Chuck's mouth, their spit mixing with the beads of sweat forming on Nate's forehead.

"I'm gonna--" he gasped.

"It's okay. I want you to."

Nate's entire body shivered as the strongest orgasm he'd ever had rattled his entire body. Stream after stream covered Chuck's flat stomach, the milky cream blending into Chuck's marble abs. Nate kissed Chuck hard, biting down on his lower lip. He grabbed Chuck's cock and began jacking it furiously. He wanted to give Chuck an orgasm he'd never forget. Chuck's hip began bucking into Nate's fist, as their speed increased. The frantic pace they built up finally ended when he shot his load all over the two of them.

Nate rolled onto his back, next to Chuck's still body. Chuck felt so incredibly warm, Nate could not resist rubbing his arm over Chuck's chest. Chuck rolled onto his side to face Nate, and traced little circles around Nate's navel. Chuck kissed Nate's neck, as he moved in closer. Nate was in heaven.

"I hope you know that I was sincere, Nate. I wasn't lying. I really do-"

His sentence was interrupted with a kiss from Nate.

"I know. And you'll never know how much I've felt the same for you. How much I still do. I love you Chuck Bass. And I will always love you."

They shared a tender kiss, before falling asleep. The last thing Nate thought was how beautiful this was, and how beautiful their future was going to be. He drifted to sleep, still entangled with Chuck's limbs, the taste of cinnamon and scotch still in his mouth.