Hey everyone! This is my first story ever! Please tell me what you think. Also I don't own Camp Rock/characters, except the ones I make up, or any music used in the story. I wish I do though. =]

I would have given you all of my heart

But there's someone who's torn it apart

And he's taken just all that I have

But if you want I'll try to love again

Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know…

The first cut is the deepest

Baby I know

The first cut is the deepest

But when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed

When it comes to lovin' me, he worst…

The First Cut Is The Deepest by Sheryl Crow

Previously

"Okay the beginning sounds like a good place to start, and Nate you have every right to be mad at me. Cait is really lucky to have you. Okay well I guess it all started when I was about 13…" M says.

Present

Mitchie's POV

I sigh. God, I think it gets harder every time I have to talk about this. I just want to leave the past in the past, but I know my past still affects my life somehow every now and then. Come on Mitch suck it up and just say it. As the saying goes just rip it off like a bandage, quick and easy. Okay deep breath. Well here goes nothing. Man, am I going to be in for a long night. Hmm, I hope Brooke brings me coffee in the morning or else I will be dead to the world. Okay Mitch quit stalling and start talking. Hehe that kind of rhymed.

"M, you still there you kind of just trailed off?" Cait asked. Opps, I forgot I was still on the phone.

"Oh right, sorry, I was just trying to gather my thoughts because it is after two in the morning here. Okay… well when I was 13 I tried to kill myself…" I said but got cut off by a piercing scream.

"WHAT?!?!... Ouch, Cait that hurt." Nate screamed and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Cait slapped the back of his head. Hehe that's the good old Cait I know and love.

"It's okay I kind of expected that. Do you remember how protective my dad was of me when I was dating Shane?" I asked him.

"Yeah? He didn't trust him worth a shit, but what does that have to do with this?" Nate said.

"Everything, actually. Growing up I was fearless, so full of life, loud, and happy. That doesn't sound like the girl you met at Camp Rock all those years ago, does it? The girl you met was shy, weak, quiet, and afraid. When I was younger my parents never could get me to close my mouth, I was always talking, laughing, or singing. In and out of school I had a group of close friends, we did everything together and not one moment was boring around us. We weren't popular, but it was fine the way things were. It was like that all the way up to seventh grade, until things started changing.

God, I can remember it like it was yesterday, it was almost the end of seventh grade, about a week and a half left. One of the eighth graders was having a party and invited the entire seventh and eighth grades. It was a Friday so we had nothing else better to do so we went and we were having fun and dancing around. Then all of sudden I get tapped on the shoulder by Brian, the hot trouble maker of the eighth grade, asking me to dance. I was in shock why would he want to dance with me when he could be dancing someone better than me, but he charmed me into dancing with him. One dance became two dances and two dances became three dances and after that I was a goner.

All the girls wanted or had a crush on him, you had to be blind not to. He asked to walk me home because it was getting late and my parents would start to worry so I said okay. There were so many thoughts going through my head as we came up to my house, such as why would he be interested in me. We walked up my steps to my door when he stopped and asked me to go out tomorrow, all I could do was nod my yes and mumble a quick goodbye before going inside. After that the rest was history we started hanging out and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was floating on cloud nine, but what I didn't realize that I was drifting apart from my friends.

That summer before eighth grade I spending a lot my time with Brian and very little time with my friends. Things were great up until about winter break, that's when things started to go downhill. Brian started to act strange and said a lot of hurtful things to me, but the next day he would apologize saying he didn't mean it. For days he wouldn't call or come around and my best friend Nicole would disappear too. She distanced herself from me and we would go for days without talking to each other, but growing up we couldn't go a day without talking or seeing each other. Things with Brian just kept getting worst, and the name calling kept getting worst than the day before. At home I smiled less, talked less, laughed less, and even sang less, my parents didn't think too much of it at the time because every teenager goes through weird stages.

By the end of the school year I was a total mess. I didn't touch my guitar or lay a finger on the piano, hell I didn't write in my song book for months! It was like I was going through life in autopilot. I was lucky I graduated eighth grade. My parents chalked it up about being nervous about going to high school.

June 17th was my breaking point. It was the day of my graduation party at my house all my friends and family came. Brian was there but disappeared towards the very of the party along with Nicole so I went to look for them. God I don't know how many times I wish I never went looking for them because if I didn't then my world not have crumpled within seconds after finding them. I walk upstairs to my room and I find my boyfriend and best friend on my bed making out with both their shirts off. I freaked and the tears just started falling down my cheeks. Sometimes I can still hear all the hurtful and horrible things he said to me when I found that day. The words pierced through my heart like a million stab wombs. I asked them how long and they said since winter break and that was my breaking point. The two most important people in my life hurt me in the worst possible way ever and they weren't even one bit sorry.

I screamed at them to get out, get out at the top of my lungs. I will never forget the last words he said to me that night, "You were never worth it and I never loved you it was all just a bet." Those words and all the other horrible words and things he did led me to going in the bathroom, locking the door, breaking the mirror, thinking that I was worthless and my world was over, and picking up that piece of broken glass and slicing my wrists open.

I really don't remember much after that only what my parents and doctors told me. All I did know was that it started to take the pain away and that was all I wanted, to numb all the pain I was feeling. My parents said that they heard all the yelling and breaking of glass and came running upstairs to find the bathroom door locked with me crying inside. They said they tried to get me to open door, but it was like I blocked everything out and soon I blacked out. I must have hit something when I blacked out, and my dad broke down the door because they started to get really worried. What they saw broke their hearts, broken glass all over, my blood pooling around where my wrists laid, and my limp body sprawled out on the floor.

I was rushed to the hospital, where the doctors wrapped up my wrists and they gave me blood transfusions, to get my blood count back up to normal. They said I was lucky I didn't go too deep and cut my artery in my wrists. They kept me there for a week under suicide watch. I barely would talk and I couldn't stand to looks of disappointments in my parents' eyes, and blaming themselves for not noticing the signs. The doctor suggested that I see a therapist and be put on anti-depressants. Sitting in that hospital bed on suicide watch I realized that I was stupid to try to end my life and I have live with that regret my entire life. I have to live with the haunted looks of disappointments from my parents and knowing they blamed themselves for not protecting me better.

My parents thought it was a good idea to move, so that I could have a fresh start. A week after I got out of the hospital we moved and my parents made an appointment with the best therapist in our new neighborhood. Dr. Grover was her name; it took me almost two months to open up to her. During that time at home I would stay in my room, and I started to play my guitar and piano again, it was my release. Slowly but surely instead of just idly playing different cords and notes, I started to write down my feelings and thoughts into songs, poems, and even journal entries. That is actually how I first got to express my feelings with Dr. Grover, the first song I wrote since before everything that happened, I sang to her.

Music became outline. Dr. Grover encouraged me to make music my way talking to her, and when I was ready to talk without it being a song then she was okay with that. Eventually I opened up to her and pretty soon I just went to see her once a month to check in and see how I was doing. Meanwhile at school I only made one friend and kept to myself. It took all of freshman year and part of that summer to tell Sierra about what happen, and even though I told her I was okay now she wouldn't treat me different, but she did watched me more closely. By the end of sophomore year I was off of the anti-depressants, stopped seeing Dr. Grover, Sierra treated me like normal again, and I was begging my mom to let me go to Camp Rock.

So you know the rest of the story. I went to Camp Rock and tried to fit in when all I really need to be was myself. That's why when Shane and I got together my dad didn't like him or trust him, he was afraid something would happen again and this time he would lose me. That's it that's my dark, horrible past. I should have told everyone and I was going to but I didn't know how. I know I should have told Shane, but scared that he wouldn't look at me the same way. As time went on I realized that he wouldn't care and would love me just the same. I was planning on tell him before we went to New York for New Years Eve, but that didn't happen. God my life is such a mess." I said.

Whew that's finally over. God I really hope Nate doesn't hate me now. Ugh the silence is killing me. I just wish he would say something. Anything would calm my nerves right now.

"Nate?..." I asked.

Hey guys! Please put all your guns, knives, axes, etc. down and not kill me for being MIA since May. I actually had the first part on this chapter typed, but then I got really stuck and everything with school, graduating, and college it was pretty crazy for me and working on top of all of that.

I really wanted this chapter to be amazing so I started to second guess myself about how to type this and hope I did a good job and that it was worth the wait.

So did you guys like? Be completely honest I love your opinions.

Next chapter is going to be Nate's reaction and maybe little bit of Mitchie's life now.

I want you guys to tell me how YOU think Nate should react to Mitchie's past.

Again I am really sorry for the wait and I hope it was worth the wait.

Also Thank You Jade previewing some of the chapter and helping me.

Review please. Tell me your likes, dislikes, and what I could to do better at.

Oh should next chapter be in Nate's POV or Mitchie's??

Stalk me on twitter x0xliz316x0x =)

x0x Liz