A/N: This chapter is mostly Carly and Spencer. Some Sam/Freddie towards the end. Couldn't leave their little storyline hanging.

"Smooth Moves"

by: the archduke

"I'm gonna have to have a talk with Freddie," Spencer murmured to himself.

Carly was watching Freddie methodically brush Sam's hair as Sam occasionally fed him a piece of fruit.

She turned to Spencer. "About what?"

"Freddo and I need to have a mano a mano talk. Guy stuff."

"This isn't like the fencing thing, is it? Because I don't want to have to be the bad guy again. Freddie hasn't mentioned fencing in front of me in years."

"No, this is more of a birds and the bees type of talk. You know, since I'm, like, the male role model in Freddie's life." Spencer looked a bit proud of himself.

"Freddie is seventeen. I'm pretty sure he knows where babies come from."

"I'd hope so. But does he know what to do when a bird and a bee like each other, and then their hormones run wild, and before they know it they're teen parents of little birds and bees?" Spencer paused for a second. "I never got that analogy. Or is it a metaphor? I never got that either."

"Wait," Carly said, "you're going to have a," and here she lowered her voice to just a whisper, "sex talk with Freddie?"

"He's at that age when-" Spencer cut himself off as he realized something. His eyes got wide. "You're at that age too. Should we have a talk?" Spencer didn't wait for Carly to respond. "Maybe you'd rather talk to another lady? That makes much more sense. I'm sure Mrs. Benson wouldn't mind-"

Carly cut off Spencer before he could say any more. "Gross Spencer! I am not having a," she lowered her voice, "sex talk," then back to her regular voice, "with Freddie's mom!"

Carly glanced over to the couch to see if Freddie and Sam had heard them, but they were still doing their hair/fruit thing.

"And anyway," Carly said as she picked up her knife and began chopping vegetables again, keeping her eyes studiously on the cutting board, "Sam's mom already gave us a talk."

Spencer stared at Carly and blinked his eyes twice. "Carly, what did that woman say to you?"

Carly kept chopping vegetables. "It was actually very sensible advice. Sam and I were shocked."

Spencer wasn't mollified. "Carly, tell me exactly what Sam's mom said. If it involves any talking animals, I'm getting Mrs. Benson over here right now."

Carly recognized Spencer's grown up voice and stopped with the vegetables. She turned to him and fixed her eyes on his left shoulder.

"It was during a car ride after she picked us up from school one day. She told us to never let a guy pressure us into doing something we didn't want to do. And she said that if we found someone nice, who we really loved and they loved us back, they'd wait for us to be ready."

Carly didn't mention that Sam's mom had also listed other traits to look for in a guy. It made her blush just thinking about it.

Still focused on Spencer's shoulder, Carly continued in a hurried voice. "And she told us to always, always use a condom, because she was too young to be a grandmother, but that was directed mostly to Sam, and that if we needed other types of birth control she'd take us to her doctor." She turned back to the vegetables, effectively ending the conversation.

"That is sensible advice." Spencer must have had enough of the conversation too, because he turned around and went to the fridge.

Carly chopped and Spencer rummaged for a few minutes until they heard Freddie's voice from the living room.

"There, done!" he announced as he stood up from the sofa.

Sam also stood. Facing him, she ran her hands through her hair a few times.

"Nice job Fredward. You earned your fruit today."

"Stop that," Freddie said as he slapped her hands away from her hair. "You'll mess up all my hard work."

Freddie gathered two handfuls of Sam's hair and brought them over her shoulders so that they trailed over her chest. He let his hands slide down her hair, his knuckles grazing her breasts, until he reached the ends of her curls. Carly wasn't sure if it was accidental or not.

"Much better," he said as he looked at Sam. He half-turned, waved at Carly and Spencer as he said his mom was probably waiting for him for dinner. Then he was gone.

Sam sat down on the sofa, grabbed the bowl of fruit and caught a grape in her mouth. Carly saw a small smile on her lips.

"Spencer, you'd better have that talk with Freddie soon."

A/N 2: All done. Thanks for all the reviews and comments!