I haven't done an itty-bitty oneshot since forever (summer '07, to be exact).

Forde was a big brother to Franz. He liked to think of it as a full-time job, being a big brother and all. A knight's job was fine and dandy, and Prince Ephraim was as good a boss as anyone could ask for, but there was something uniquely gratifying about watching his little brother grow up.

Franz used to be a little kid who always tripped, cried far too often and hid behind Forde whenever he felt shy. Now? Franz had finished his knight and could hold his own against soldiers with twice his experience. Forde claimed that having a handsome and accomplished role model helped mould Franz into the fine knight he was and to his surprise, people agreed. Later, he realized that they thought he meant Sir Seth when he said role model.

So Forde decided he would help Franz in the non-knightly aspects of his life. Which was exactly why he made it a habit of tailing Franz and Amelia whenever possible. It turned out that the stealth training he had taken several years ago had a use after all.

The first time Forde exercised his camouflage techniques, Franz and Amelia had snuck away to a lovely riverbank dotted with waterside plants and colourful wildflowers. Forde took mental notes from behind a stout tree trunk surrounded by leafy bushes. It seemed that Franz didn't need any advice on picking romantic locales. However, he lost points for not offering Amelia his cloak. Forde sighed. That boy needed a talk about the finer points of being a gentleman.

"Are you cold?" asked Franz. He sat beside Amelia on the riverbank as they both faced the river.

"Only a little," said Amelia.

Franz moved closer and wrapped his cloak around the both of them so that they sat with their sides pressed together, her head poised at the perfect position to rest against his shoulder.

"Better?"

Amelia blushed before replying. "Yes, thank you."

Forde retracted his earlier thoughts. It seemed his little brother knew how to think ahead. Forde crossed his fingers, and sure enough, Amelia leaned backwards into Franz and he wrapped his arms around her. It was enough to make Forde watery-eyed like a little old lady watching her youngest daughter get married.

Unfortunately, Franz chanced a backwards glance. He squinted a little and unwrapped his arms from Amelia's waist. "Hey, Amelia, do you see something back there?"

Amelia turned around too and looked at the woods behind them. "No, I don't. Did you see something?"

"I'm not sure. It looked like someone... pumping their fist."

Forde pressed his back tightly against the tree and mouthed a curse. Damn his overeagerness for a sister-in-law.

Without wasting another second, Forde dropped to the forest floor and made a prompt exit before he was discovered. He imagined that he looked nothing like the gallant, handsome knight he was with his arms and knees pushing across the dirt and his backside up in the air, but he supposed that some things were worth the sacrifice.

As the weeks passed, Franz and Amelia continued to sprit themselves away to little hideaways. Forde continued to follow them, occasionally tying tree branches to his head and going about shirtless and covered in mud, anything to stay hidden. Who knew that being stealthy could be so fun?

However, Forde was not at all pleased with Franz and Amelia's progress. Not once had the two of them gone beyond hugging. There was that adorable little peck on the nose Amelia once gave Franz, but Forde wanted something hot enough to steam his dinner (maybe just a teensy bit less passionate than that).

Seeing the dire situation, Forde decided to take matters into his own hands. He brainstormed what he should say to the young couple.

Passion really helps a relationship along, y'know. Don't forget to use a little tongue!

Hm, perhaps he should be a bit more subtle.

That time I kissed Vanessa, I could really feel our connection deepen!

Other than the fact that everyone in camp knew of his fruitless advances, it didn't have the subtext he was looking for.

I demand that you snog right now! ... Oh, and you can pretend like I'm not even here.

... Maybe he should just wing it.

Forde got his chance when he saw Franz and Amelia finishing up their spar at the camp's practice grounds. He made his way over and said, "Hello Amelia! I'm just going to talk to Franz for a minute."

Amelia said, "Sure Forde. I'll come back after I put the weapons away."

Forde wanted to pinch someone's cheeks; their little I'll-see-you-later blush and smile was adorable. But then Forde reminded himself that the reason he was there was to break them out of being adorable and give their relationship a much-needed push towards make-out sessions.

"What did you want to talk about?" asked Franz.

Forde rubbed his hands together the same way he would before attempting to lift a heavy lance; with a look of concentration and a positive mindset. "I'm just... concerned. Yes, that's it. I'm concerned about my little brother."

"Huh? Do you mean my arrow wound? It's healing quite nicely--"

"No, no, not that. I'm concerned about your love life."

Franz gave his brother a blank stare. "My... love life?"

"Yes, with Amelia."

The heat rushed to Franz's face and turned him bright pink. "W-what?"

As if to compound his embarrassment, Amelia picked that moment in time to return. Forde waved. "Hey Amelia! We were just talking about you."

"You were?" said Amelia in surprise.

Franz took her hand and mumbled, "Let's go."

Forde smiled at Amelia and said, "I don't mean to pressure either of you, but I think your relationship could use a little wham bam."

Franz started nudging her, but Amelia was rooted to the spot with confusion. "Wham bam?" she said.

"Wham bam," confirmed Forde. "Now I don't want you to misunderstand me, but it seems like the two of you need something to keep it alive, y'know? Nothing much, I don't want Franz to plow your fields or anything--"

"We're going!" shouted a red-faced Franz. He wrapped his arm around Amelia's shoulder and started to lead her away as she said something about not owning any farmland.

Forde sighed and decided he would try again another time. He certainly couldn't give up on enriching his brother's love life. After all, it was his job.

This is what happens when I try to be funny; I make dirty jokes and Forde becomes a creepy voyeur. But anyway, please review as you see fit :)