Author's Note: I posted some fanfics on here many years ago under a different username, most of which, quite frankly, deserve to fester buried in my hardrive...which they are. But after a long time, I've decided to take another crack at it. 'Much Ado' is honestly my favorite Shakespeare play ever so it didn't take long to be inspired to write a modern version. I will try to stay pretty faithful to the original, but please bear in mind some tweaks have to be made in modern adaptations. Feedback is always welcome, I like hearing what people think. Anyway, thanks for reading! (if you actually bothered to! XD)

Chapter 1

It's the End of the World (as we know it)

I don't fricking believe it. Clearly fate, karma, or some other supernatural force is conspiring against me. Or life just sucks. Ben went away to college. What below earth was he doing at Messina U?

"Bea, are you okay?", Uncle Leo's voice sent me crashing back to reality like a bird-struck plane and I nearly dropped my phone, then shook my head as I sank back into my bed. I wanted to disappear, or blend into it's black and white flower pattern like some bizarre IKEA chameleon. Leave it to Uncle Leonard to spring this crap on me first thing on a Saturday morning.

"Yes, Uncle Leo. I'm sorry, I just can't believe this." I said, my hand over my eyes. It was too early for this bullshit. "Seriously, Ben DiPadua? He's the one guy in the world you know I hate more than anything!"

"Come on now, it's been over three years. And as much as I'd like to for your sake, as coach I can't refuse to let him try out for my team. Besides Bea, he's not a terrible person. Hate is an awfully strong word." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, fine then, abhor. Detest. Loathe. Despise." I smirked. You know an adult has run out of legitimate excuses when they're reduced to using cliches. I could just picture my uncle rubbing his temples in exasperation as he responded;

"Alright, fine." He sighed. "Listen, Bea. I know things didn't go well before, but that was high school. You're halfway through college now. I am expecting you to come tonight. You need to put all of that behind you."

"Which I would gladly do if Ben didn't act like a total ass every time I've seen him since." I responded with another dismissive eyeroll. It's kind of my trademark.

"Well then, someone needs to be the bigger person." click

I can't believe he just hung up on me! I thought as the dial tone beeped in my ear. Uncle Leo was definitely not the most cheerful person in the morning, even when he wasn't actually, you know, in person. I tossed my phone across the room, watched it thud against the whitewashed wall of the dorm, and buried my scream in my pillow. Clearly, the morning was off to a wonderful start.

Let me explain something here. Benedick DiPadua is undoubtedly, beyond question, the biggest jackass on the planet. And I had the great misfortune to go out with him. Or something close to it, anyway.

"Bea, what's wrong?" I rolled over on my bed and turned to face my cousin. Hiro is Uncle Leo's only child. She has dark Japanese hair and eyes like Aunt Kishomi, but I've always seen a lot of Uncle Leo in her face. Particularly the look she was giving me, her brow furrowed in concern. It would be cute, if the resemblance didn't kinda weird me out. More than kind of.

"Basketball tryouts are today, Hiro." I said, sprawled out on the bed. I rolled upside down, my head hanging off the edge. "Uncle Leo 'asked' us to meet him when they're over." The 'asked' was emphasized with finger quotations to indicate that it was more of a demand. Uncle Leo has a way of wrapping a demand in a request to make it seem like the other person had a say in the matter. Sort of like cheap chocolates. It seems nice on the the outside while you just taste the chocolate. But then you get to the gagtastic fake-orange filling. Neither are pleasant experiences.

Hiro stood in front of the mirror, finishing doing her hair for the second time today. She's the type of girl other girls would love to hate...if they could ever find a reason to. She's absolutely adorable, has a ton of great friends, and could get any guy she wanted but she's too sweet to realize it. Or if she did, she'd never admit it. I swear if she wasn't my cousin I'd hate her guts. Purely out of jealously, of course.

"Okay, so what's the big deal?" she asked. I sat up, grabbed my 'I heart Jim' mug, and filled it with water from the tap. (Yes, I am a tiny bit in love with Jim Halpert from The Office. Question his awesomeness and die.)

"Ben transferred here. And Uncle Leo says he's signed up to try out for the team." I said as I popped it the microwave, and saw the reflection of Hiro's almond eyes widen. She spun around towards me.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." I nodded, then after a beep from the microwave, taking my Jim mug out and steeping some tea.

"I'm sorry, Bea." Hiro said, her voice warm with sympathy, coming over and wrapping me in a hug "I know you hate seeing him."

"On the contrary, it'll be fun to mess with him, poor bastard." I couldn't resist a chuckle.

Hiro laughed."You're still mad at him?" she asked as she got up and went back to applying her eyeshadow.

"Me? Mad at him for leading me on for ages, then standing me up on our first real date with no explanation?" I asked sarcastically. "Of course not!" I took a sip of tea while sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Bea..."

"No, honestly I really don't care. It's just that he's been such a cocky little prig ever since."

"And the fact that after that he immediately started flirting with Becky Powers so he could take her to the prom has no bearing whatsoever on your desire to punch all the teeth out of his face." Hiro stated matter-of-factly. She was lucky I had put my mug down on the side table, or I probably would have choked on my drink.

"None at all." I replied, making a brave attempt at seriousness which was unfortunately counteracted by the huge grin spreading over my face. I leapt from the bed and hugged her fiercely as we both dissolved into giggles. Hiro may be painfully shy, but I'm proud to say my sense of humor has rubbed off on her a little. Her parents? Not so thrilled about it. It was a while later when we finally calmed down.

"Dad said you have to go?"

"He kind of did. More than kind of." But I couldn't have skipped even if I wanted to, I sort of owe Uncle Leo for...pretty much everything. See, he and Aunt Kishomi took me in after my parents died in a car crash when I was 10. They've raised me as one of their own. I mean, I will always miss my parents, but they've left me in good hands. I can talk to Aunt Kishomi about pretty much anything, and between her and Uncle Leo, they've taken care of me. Uncle Leo even helped get me in here at Messina University, and tuitions free 'cause he's a Dean (not to mention the head basketball coach). And Hiro's rooming with me now that's she's enrolled here for her first semester. She's sweet, but (as I mentioned) shy, and I have to admit, naive. I've always looked out for her, she's like a baby sister to me.

"Well, you can always try to ignore Ben." I had to smile at Hiro's attempt at comfort.

"Hardly likely." I quipped as I rummaged through my dresser. "The only thing Ben and I have in common is an inability to keep our mouths shut." I could hear her laughing behind me.

"And being incurable sarcastic wiseasses?" she added oh-so helpfully." Honestly Bea, I still wonder why you went out with him in the first place."

"Well..." See, Hiro didn't start High School until my junior year, so she missed most of the delightful melodrama typically only found on One Tree Hill – or a soap opera. "Basically, we were in debate class together and got a real kick out of mock-arguing with each other. He was funny, kinda smart, and sort of cute, so the mock arguing led to an obscene amount of flirting. The flirting led to hanging out, and..."

For some reason I suddenly became quite unreasonably fascinated with the contents of my sock drawer, irritated that even after all this time I couldn't just let it go. I felt so immature, holding on to so much resentment. But it hurt too much. "Well, you know what happened after that. Every time we met it was a massive blowout of nuclear proportions." It was time to change the subject."But enough about that crap. I understand you have taken a fancy to one Claude Florentino." Hiro's cheeks went pink. "He's trying out today, too." It was hard not to laugh when she gasped in surprise.

"Will he really?" she asked, trying (and failing epically) to seem unaffected by my statement. "I had no idea." She couldn't even deny it!

"Of course not. And I'm sure Claude had nothing to do with you taking an hour and a half to get dressed today - Hang on, you've already done your hair, Hiro!...Twice!" I exclaimed, laughing as she raced back to the mirror.

"Oh, yes...yeah, of course." she mumbled distractedly. She stared at her reflection, fussing with her baby blue tank and then began pulling at her white denim skirt. "Do you think I should...."

"Change your top, skirt, shoes, jewelry, or any or all of the above?" I cut in, finishing her statement for her.

"Should I?" she asked, sounding far more concerned than I'm sure Claude deserved.

"No. You look great." I said sincerely, then shouted "Besides, it's my turn!" lobbing a pillow at her. I had tugged on a black tee with some pink accents and now held up two skirts. "The plaid or the houndstooth?" She looked at them both closely for a moment.

"Oh, the houndstooth, definitely. The pink lines in the background will be perfect with your top."

"I like the way you think." I chuckled as I slid the skirt on.

"I don't see why you're so concerned about your outfit." Hiro gave me a meaningful look.

"Aren't I always?" my response came with a smirk while I dug my chunky black boots out from under the bed and laced them up. Then I booted Hiro away from the mirror and tried to rid myself of bedhead and tease my auburn mess into something remotely resembling a hairstyle.

"You look nice, Bea." Hiro began, "If I didn't know any better..."

"You should." I finished, silencing her with a look. Uncle Leo trained me well in The Ancient Art of The Stinkeye. Well, him and Juno. I didn't want to be mean, but I didn't want Hiro pursuing the Ben train of thought. But I began to feel guilty when I saw the look on her face. My stomach squirmed - it's physically impossible to be mean to someone that positively angelic.

"I just don't want to go there looking like a mess." I apologized as I went back to brushing my hair. Course, Hiro never looks like a mess so she couldn't possibly relate. I saw her through my compact enthroned in her pink chair. She nodded, then began looking at me calculatingly, probably wanting to say something more about Ben, but doubting it was safe to do so. So,neither of us said anything.

After hair and teeth were brushed, it was time for warpaint; Blush, some mascara, smoky eyeshadow, and finish with berry lip gloss. In an attempt to summon confidence I wasn't entirely sure I had, I took a deep breath. Whatever crap Ben planned on pulling today, I'd be ready.

Bring it, douchebag.