Disclaimer: I don't own GA characters. I do not financially profit from this story, nor do I own the characters or any copyrights to Gakuen Alice.

Published 2 February 2009

Edited 28 May 2009

Second and final edition 11 April 2012

For illutiamist's birthday fic.

The Last Goodbye

By cerespallas

She put her arm on the grass and smiled at him. The only response she got was a grunt. He didn't care if she was smiling at him or at the ladybug crushed on the grass beneath his back.

"This is fun." He lay down, clutching the back of his head with both hands. "So here I am today, on my last day watching the clouds smashing each other. The next thing I know I'll be flying around them looking down at you and my corpse."

"It's a nice way to end this, isn't it?" Mikan tilted her head. "Doesn't look like it's going to rain."

He glared at her. "Stupid… you're always throwing a jinx whenever you say—" The clouds crashed against each other causing blast of lightning. Within milliseconds, heavy rain drenched the earth. Natsume grimaced, pushing himself up to sitting position.

"This is precious." He cradled his legs. His clothes pressed against him, causing shivers and several sneezes. "This is just perfect."

Pressing her hand against her white blouse, she looked down and murmured, "Too bad I use a bra."

Three quick glances later, he snapped, "What the hell? You call that underwear?"

"It's not like anyone wants to see under the blouse of a middle aged woman."

He scrunched his nose. "No one?"

"Well, after today, there will be no one."

His eyes glazed over. "Who knows."

She gave him The Look. For thirty years, it always worked. Despite today being Natsume Hyuuga's last day, he was still not immune to the glare. "I know."

"It's not like nobody wants you," he said lying back in the wet grass, rain damping his face. "You can still have a family, have a child or two—"

"It's my own business, isn't it?" Mikan pinched the wet green leaves beside her. "You're not going to be there to tell me what to do."

"No," he said after several long minutes. "Not anymore."

Rain was a fortunate event. For once, she didn't have to hide droplets rolling down her cheek. She had a suspicion he knew she was crying. Nevertheless, unlike yesterday or last week, or outside the doctor's office after she heard the news, she didn't have to hide it.

-x-x-x-x-

Last night she woke up. She stared up at him from her usual place on his bare chest. After listening to his peaceful breathing, she placed her head back on the crook of his neck. He was silent, but as she closed her eyes, she heard a faint echo from his throat.

"I won't go without a proper send-off, you know."

Smiling, Mikan nuzzled her nose against his neck. He reiterated with a childish spank against her bottom.

"I know," she said.

"Good." He shifted, fluttering his eyes open.

Sitting up, taking a deep breath, he hunched and massaged his left chest. She sat up behind him, fingers trailing down his back. His erratic breathing calmed down as the familiar palms working against his skin, pressing and kneading painful muscles. A faint kiss or two pressed against his back. Her long hair flowed between his shoulders; the owner of the beautiful strands nipped his earlobe and murmured magnificent words.

He had no idea what she was whispering about. Not that he cared, considering how easy it was for him to lull back to his own pillow on the hospital cot, allowing his lover to kiss his chest and sit on his stomach.

"I've thought about this," he heard her. "And I came to a conclusion."

He pressed her knee beside his chest with a thumb, finding a blank spot between the bones. "About?"

She lowered her head, lips inched before him. "You don't need sleep that much."

He saw the twinkle in her eyes. Why did she always say nobody else would want her? He knew how many men want to experience the joy and pleasure behind that mirth of hazel. "Well," he said, as her lips move closer. "I guess I don't really need it."

There was no regret. There's nothing else to say.

He wanted to say something cool, something appropriate.

There was nothing. After thirty years of sharing perilous lifeline together, she already knew his words, his movements. She knew how to kiss him when he came home bleeding—with furious mood and the desire to burn their whole house—she'd kiss him with the love he didn't deserve.

She knew how to embrace him when they lost another friend, when he had to come home to her with heartbreaking news. She knew how he hid behind their blanket every night, how he refused to wake up in the morning only to kill another human.

She knew he hated their second phone. The cursed item perched beside their bed, on the side desk. When it rang, she would always take time to answer knowing every call will be another mission. Every call was another reason for him to take his coat and walk out of their hiding.

He hated the way she smiled and leant against the doorframe every time he left. If he turned, he would see the tears. He would stop and run back to her, to her warmth and the safety inside their house.

That was why he never looked back.

Every time it was hell. Every time he lost his partner.

Every time it got more dangerous.

They aged, like everyone else. Nobody could stop the wheel of time. Yet when he came home, opened the door and saw her sitting on their sofa, he wanted to believe the time was not moving for them. She would look up and smile.

It had been so long since he cared about himself. The only thing he wanted to keep was her smile. The only thing he wanted to ensure was her safety. That was why he didn't even flinch when the doctor shoved the report into his hand.

That doctor didn't care about hospitality or bedside manner. He doubted the white-suit skeletal man even cared if he existed. After Natsume failed to rescue the doctor's father—what's his name, he forgot, it happened twenty years ago anyway…ah—Tsubasa, the boy grew wild and enraged. It surprised Natsume when Mikan informed that Misaki's son would take care of him. He thought the runt would appear in the television as the drug-dealer getting caught in a Kingpin party or anything like that.

Mikan was trying. She was trying too hard. He had no memory of her not staying beside his cot every time he opened his eyes.

One day after twenty-three months of their residency at the hospital, he asked about their house.

She smiled, saying nothing.

He knew what happened. Until today, he wondered if she thought he stopped asking because he's giving up. He became quiet, because there's no point of asking things that was taken from them in return for his medicine.

That runt gave him one month to live. He survived twenty-five. The little rascal finally found out what kept the infamous Black Cat in this dimension.

Yesterday when his lover was out for her Hospital Book Club, the runt walked in and informed Natsume: He shouldn't stay any longer, the runt will take care of Mikan Sakura until she passed away, if nobody else wants her.

The runt was awarded with a blank look. Then came a throaty laugh.

Now, Natsume was ready to go.

-x-x-x-x-

"Have you ever thought of marrying me?"

She turned, studying the calm face beside her. "No, not really."

"Meanie."

She laughed. "That's a good impression of me, only if I ever said that to you."

He took her hand, toying with the ring-less fingers. Twining his thin fingers around her healthy ones, he murmured, "You should've asked me twenty years ago."

She had no need for a party. What's the point of everyone cheering for them if she'd lose him in the mission shortly after? What's the point of celebration, if whenever he walked out of their home there's a voice whispering in her ears telling her he would never come back?

When he did come home, it was a good fortune. Then came the next call, the next mission, and she'd sit on their sofa for days waiting for the call from the Academy.

The call that told her he failed.

No. She loved him, but love had never been the problem. Marriage, no matter how bland and loveless it was, formed based on trust against each other no matter what happened.

She'd never trusted him to come home.

Taking her hand to his mouth, he placed her ring finger inside his mouth and bit it. She stared when he released her ring finger. Caressing the ring bite mark on her skin, she smiled.

"You're tying me now, after all this time?" she said.

He responded with a shrug. "Think of it whatever you want. It's better to cry over your new husband instead of your thirty years lover, right?"

She studied the mark. "I suppose." Too bad, she couldn't see much. It was rain, not her tears.

Natsume raised his hand, looking at his own fingers. "Have you ever… not love me?"

She hugged her knees. "Before I met you."

"Maybe it's time to remember how it feels."

Burying her face between her knees, Mikan gave a vague sigh. "It's been so long since we first met. I don't even remember what happened back then."

He lowered his hand. "Polka."

She chuckled. "Damn you."

"I'm the one who said crude words. The only thing you're allowed to do was scream."

Those were nice moments. They were kids back then. They weren't even a teenager. Now, she only remembered how he used his Alice. Alice gave them their prestige, their home and kept them together. Alice had brought her to him.

Now, Alice took him away.

"Promise me something." The rain drenched him wetter than a sewer mouse. "After I close my eyes, go away."

She glanced at him.

"Someone will take care of everything." He tried not to let the tremor heard in his voice. "Go, and don't ever… think of turning back."

It wasn't tears that blurred her sight. No, Mikan wouldn't cry.

Taking the ring finger and biting the mark adoring it, she looked away. And nodded.

"How it feels to know I'm still cursed on loving you?" he said. "After all these years, no matter what happened, I still can't stop loving you."

"That must have been very disturbing."

"A bit tiring."

She scooted closer, shifting her body to cover him. He tilted his head to study her.

"I said don't cry."

"I'm not," she said, stooping lower to kiss him. "It's the rain."

"Good. Red eyes look ugly. My ghost might've run instead of haunting you."

She nibbled his lips, releasing it when he placed his cold palm on her cheek. "I'll try my best to be possessed."

"Great. This damn curse may never stop."

She buried her face in the crook of his neck, feeling his pulse.

He was everything. Soon, he would be nothing.

She had promised long ago: no matter what happened, they would continue to live. They were proud, they were better than death. Later, when one had finished their supposed life in this dimension, he or she would be able to return to their counterparts in the eternal paradise, with an accomplished feeling of defeating death itself.

His hand fell from her cheek.

Taking a deep, quivering breath, Mikan raised her head. She had one last look of her eternal lover in his sleep. One last time, her shivering lips mashed against his frozen one.

She placed her hands beside his head, pushing herself to stand up. Looking at the white building in the distance, she blinked away the water in her eyes.

Mikan Sakura took the first step towards the hospital, leaving the field and her past.

She never looked back.

Fin