Disclaimer: As much as I love messing with HP characters, I don't own them

Trust Me

In a way he had always captivated me, my rival, the supposed antithesis of everything I was, the dark to my light, ice to my fire. I thought that in our six years at Hogwarts together I had come to understand something of who he was but he always managed to surprise me somehow.

He surprised me when he stopped taunting me and didn't once mention Sirius' death.

He surprised me when I found him crying in Moaning Myrtles bathroom.

He surprised me when he lowered his wand instead of killing Dumbledore like he was meant to.

And he surprised me when he turned up at Privet Drive in the middle of the night the following summer as it poured down outside because of one of the summer storms I loved so much, it was the only reason I was awake at all to hear the tap of stones being thrown at my window. As soon as I looked out the window and spotted that trademark blonde hair I felt cautious and slightly alarmed but seeing him on my doorstep, freezing cold and begging me to listen to him if only for a moment, something just clicked inside me and caution was thrown to the wind. I agreed to listen of course, how could I not when he looked so lost it was all I could do not to actually wrap my arms around his shaking frame and hold him until he felt alright again. I settled for getting him some dry clothes and a hot cup of tea whilst trying not to wake the Dursleys, thinking that any gesture more intimate would probably be thrown back in my face somehow.

It felt extremely surreal having him in my kitchen, even just being civil to each other, never mind actually having him stoop to pleading for just a few minutes of conversation with me. The only conclusion I could think of was that something had broken him in a way I couldn't comprehend. It did cross my mind briefly that it could be a trick, a way of getting to me but he hadn't tried anything yet and I was completely vulnerable to him as my wand was upstairs in my bedroom, he was either being genuine or was a very very good actor. I wanted so badly to believe he was being genuine.

He explained to me that night that night that ever since Voldemort had returned to power he had been living in fear of him, that he had been terrified of failing last year for fear of what the madman might do to his parents and to him. A shadow seemed to cross over his face when he said this and he laughed bitterly because he had failed anyway when he couldn't kill Dumbledore and had been made to suffer for it. He also explained that he had always regretted our rivalry, that it had been based far more on envy as well as his fathers expectations and opinions than on any real animosity.

I listened without comment as he said he hadn't come to switch sides, that he simply couldn't do so without betraying his family to their death but that he had wanted me to know that even if he never escaped the clutches of his father and Voldemort, he had wanted at least someone to know he wasn't a monster. He was scared of what he might be forced to do in the war but more than that, he was scared he would die with the whole wizarding world hating him, with me hating him. He looked up at me then, his eyes burning with a strange intensity, eyes that seemed to see right through me, I'm not sure if he sensed my hesitancy then, the lingerings of doubt or whether he simply felt he had to be sure I was convinced but what he said next tore through the last of my defences.

"Please trust me Harry. Please?"

I looked silently at him, my eyes widening slightly at the sincerity and desperation in his voice, "I believe you" was the only reply I could give.

We kept meeting after that first night, always in the twilight hours when his family would not notice he was gone and the Dursleys were too fast asleep to notice he was here. We talked for hours at a time, slowly growing more comfortable with each other, our schoolboy rivalry now only a source for mirth, lost in the immeasurable desolation of the war.

Somehow I found myself feeling closer to him than I had ever felt with any of my other friends, here was someone who could actually understand how screwed up family life was and how empty you can feel growing up with a family that couldn't care less about you. We would talk to each other about it sometimes, slowly opening up to each other as we shared our past and tried to destroy the power that those memories held over us but we never talked about the future.

It was an unspoken agreement that we never revealed anything about our respective sides of the war and we speculated on what would happen. The future always seemed too uncertain, too huge to even contemplate trying to encompass it with just words so it hung in the air between us instead, fear so thick I thought at times it might choke me but he was there, silently supportive, helping me to swallow it back.

It was on one of the nights we had agreed to try and see each other that it all changed, two weeks before the new year at Hogwarts would have begun if things had been normal. I paced up and down within the confines of the hallway as I waited, it was over a week since I had last seen him as he missed our last meeting and I remembered the panic of that sleepless night that had only been relieved the day after when I found a small note slipped under the door that told he was safe. Only now he was already late and I couldn't help but think of all the ways he could have been hurt between the time that he had left the note and tonight, he was obviously involved in something important, something undoubtedly dangerous to be away for so long.

It was a wonder that I heard the small tap at all over the sound of my heart thumping in my chest, my breath caught for a second before I raced to open the door, almost tripping over in my clumsy haste. Seeing him standing there on my doorstep, safe and at first glance unharmed though a little worn out made me heady with relief.

"Harry" he sighed and before I managed to process it he had pulled me into a tight grip, his arms wrapped around my shoulders and his cheek softly brushing against mine as he clung to me. I opened my mouth to say something but got the weird feeling that it wasn't the right time so we just stood there with only the gentle hush of our breathing disturbing the air. It was strangely blissful. I never wanted to let go.

With a jolt of sensation I felt his lips pressing hesitantly against my neck prompting a small ragged intake of breath that I was only half aware of but I didn't let go, I didn't push him away, instead giving him my silent permission by the a slight tightening of my own arms which encircled his waist. He slowly traced a path up the curve of my neck and across my jaw, he stopped for a moment when he reached my lips, his eyes darting to mine in a silent plea for permission.

I had barely started to incline my head before I felt his lips on mine and I lost myself in the surrender.

We tried to see each other more often after that, when I couldn't sneak him into the house I would sneak out instead and we went to the park to sit on the swings as we talked or just lay on the ground getting lost in the star constellations and each other. The days drifted by and I was happier than I had been in a long time, Draco was everything to me and I was everything to him.

We were gentle at first, slowly exploring this new development in our relationship but we soon became increasingly demanding and passionate with each other. Within a week I had come to really know what it felt like to fall and fall hard, I loved the way he moaned my name in the dark, I loved the sparkle in his eye every time I opened the door to him, I loved the way he would smile at me, I loved him.

There was only about a week left before school and we were beginning to worry about what we would do, sometimes he got a look in his eye that seemed so haunted and full of terror that it scared me too, I asked him about it one night but he brushed it off in a way that clearly suggested he didn't want to talk about it. So I silently tried to reassure him instead, distract him, anything to keep away that look on his face.

A couple of days passed and we only managed to see each other once, I worried about him of course, wondering if his absences were noticed but he assured me he had become accustomed to practicing stealth, I chuckled and let it go but my insides still squirmed with fear every night that I stayed up waiting for him.

It was one of those nights, when Draco was over two hours late and all sorts of scenarios where Lucius had found out and punished him flitted through my mind making my heart constrict painfully. It was raining again and I thought of the first night he had come to see me looking like a broken angel, I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I barely heard the familiar sound of small stones knocking against my window. I was downstairs within 5 seconds opening the door and pulling him into a rough and thoroughly relieved embrace.

He stiffened slightly and my heart jumped in my throat but he soon relaxed and I just dismissed it as residual tension from whatever Voldemort was forcing him to do. I pulled back to kiss him, pouring all of my pent up emotion into the gesture but it was almost nothing compared to his, he kissed me with a ferocity I had never felt from him before as he pushed me up against the wall of the hallway.

I pulled back from him, more than a little breathless and searched his eyes inquiringly only to find I couldn't read them at all, his expression was too muddled up, full of the lust and love I had become accustomed to but also nervousness and fear and something unreadable...guilt maybe? Regret?

I tried to question him but he cut across me, asking that we go to the park tonight even though it was raining, he joked that he'd never kissed me in the rain but there was no spark of playfulness in his silver eyes, only a strange sadness. Worry twisted in my stomach as I readily complied, wanting only to see him happy. I would have done anything for him, what was a little walk in the rain?

We walked slowly, his hand comfortably clasped in mine as we followed the familiar path leading to the park, the rain falling heavily around us. I swung open the gate silently and made to go to the swings where we usually sat but a gentle tug from Draco had me following him in the opposite direction with a small enquiring look.

"I want you to see something"

"What is it?"

"Trust me"

"I do"

I lost track of the time as we carried on walking, weaving in between climbing frames and slides that seemed so dark and barren it was as if we were in some other world where only the faded remnants of life remained, I shivered from the cold and a vague feeling of unease and shifted slightly closer to Draco who just glanced at me with a small affectionate smile before walking on with me in tow.

Eventually we stopped, now thoroughly soaked and I looked around confused noticing that we had reached the edge of a small glade I had brought Draco to once to show him its beauty. With a sharp tug I was pulled against the familiar contours of the blonde's body, his hand snaking around my neck to draw me up into another kiss.

I remember thinking how sweet and tender it was, full of passion and love and want, I wanted him to kiss me like that for the rest of our lives.

He lingered slightly before gently pulling away.

"I love you" he whispered

"I love you too" a confused frown wrinkling my forehead as I waited to find out why we were there.

"I'm sorry" liquid silver eyes swam with regret and loss

"What do you mean? What for?"

"Avada Kedavra"

~&~

"My Lord" I bowed to him, my eyes trained on the hem of his robes as always.

"What is it you want that was so important?" he sneered

"I've succeeded" I whispered reverently because that was all I would allow to matter, the fact that I hadn't failed, I would never fail again no matter what it cost me, "I've succeeded in killing Ha...Potter"

"What?!" I glanced up nervously to see red eyes blazing fiercely.

"Potter is dead sire" I didn't even know my voice could sound so devoid of emotion, so empty.

"Fool!" he spat

"My Lord?" my eyes flickered upwards again and I visibly recoiled from the loathing that burned in every line of that snake-like face.

"Who else knows?"

"No-one, Master" my mouth went dry and my heart raced, this was not supposed to be his reaction.

"And the body?" only practice at hiding my emotions prevented me from shuddering in memory of that lifeless body.

"Under a disillusionment charm in the park near his aunt and uncle's house," in the rain.

"How?"

"He...wasn't careful enough"

"Fine, that should be enough, I don't see the point in wasting legilimency on a pathetic excuse for a wizard such as yourself." he chuckled slightly, the distorted and sadistic sound sending ice through my veins, "Were you really so stupid as to not realise that Potter was my kill?" he sneered. Panic gripped me.

"I'm sor-"

"Crucio!"

Pain, sharp and all consuming rended through me, my own screams echoing in my ears. It was all for nothing, I still failed, I lost him and it was all for nothing...

"Avada Kedavra"

Finite

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