Big Brother

Rated: K+ For Raphael's nightmare

Dedicated to: raphfreak, who's story 'Believe' inspired me to write this.

It was quiet. The kind that was, in fact, so quiet that the silence seemed to ring loudly. Though the air felt warm, Raphael had goosebumps prickling up his arms. Against his will, his body shuddered. Somehow, though the darkness prevented him from seeing, he knew that something was ahead of him, stalking back and forth in the shadows.

What had once been his room had narrowed into an unknown hallway with no pictures, doors or windows.

Raphael was too afraid to look back. Something was breathing shallowly behind him. The hot breath tauntingly tickled the back of his neck. It hissed vehemently, curses and threats. It told him to keep his eyes forward and walk.

The end of the hall loomed near and an ominous form hunched, facing away from him. It didn't move, only made small clicking and tapping sounds.

Dread pooled into Raphael's gut and his feet began to fill with lead. He didn't want to see, but the force behind him pushed against his shell.

Finally, the hall became illuminated and at the end sat...

"Master Splinter?" He asked. The relief he began to feel, however, vanished when the form turned. Bloody caves were where the old rat's eyes should have been and his lips peeled back in a grin that flashed sharp, yellow teeth.

"Aah!" Eight year old Raphael Hamato screamed out loud as he fought the imaginary monster Splinter. His blankets were wrapped tightly around his small form and he struggled against them, kicking out and twisting. In his frantic attempt to escape, the little turtle rolled off the bed and hit the ground with a loud thump.

Eyes flying open, he woke with a jolt and swallowed thickly. A quick survey revealed that he was him his own room, though it was still much too dark for his tastes. After all, he'd recently given Michelangelo his Elmo nightlight because he wasn't a baby anymore.

Panting slightly, Raphael closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. However, the eye less fanged image of his father burned in the back of his eye lids and he whimpered, blinking back frightened tears. He bit his lip hard to hold the fat drops of salty water back. Glancing over his shoulder, he noted that it was only four am, which meant that no one would be awake yet. He could safely sneak into Leonardo's room without worry of torment. Donny had enough teasing fuel as it was. Especially after last night's incident when he'd begged the purple bandanna wearing turtle to turn off the horror movie that he and Mikey had harassed him to get a hold of.

Rats eating people simply hit too close to home for the red banded terrapin. As angry as the other two had been at him, particularly because they'd almost been caught by Master Splinter, he couldn't have made it through the movie.

Shoving away the uncomfortable thoughts and lingering feeling of guilt, because Mike and Donny would likely still be angry at him in the morning, Raphael scooped up his flannel blanket and hugged it to his plastron before slowly twisting the doorknob, praying that it would not make a sound. Thankfully, the door silently swung open and he stepped out of his room.

He smiled lightly when he noticed that the kitchen light had been left on. Leonardo had started to inconspicuously flip it on after everyone went to bed when he discovered Raphael's fear of darkness. Now, he didn't have to give himself an hour long pep talk just to go get a glass of water. No, he hadn't had to race into the kitchen, quickly fill a cup, and dart back to the safety of his room in weeks.

Leonardo's bedroom was only a few doors from his own and, with the kitchen light to illuminate his path, he felt confident. He was all ready smiling and prepared to feel relief when he approached Leo's door. It was open a crack, so he could sneak in if he needed to.

Leonardo had always been so brave. For as long as he could remember, he could never recall his older brother being afraid or uncertain of anything. And, he knew he was always welcome if he needed encouragement or just a warm body to snuggle up to.

To Raphael's dismay, when he pushed open the door light flooded in, materializing a twin sized mattress lying parallel with the wall covered in a dark blue comforter, but no Leonardo.

Frowning, the young terrapin turned on his heel to glance towards the dojo. Sure enough, a soft glow leaked out. A little disgruntled that he wasn't going to be able to crawl in beside his older brother to sleep through the next couple hours until morning, he shuffled to the gentle, flickering orange light.

Inside, Leonardo stood facing away from the entrance. He had one leg and both arms lifted and was not moving. A few feet in front of him was a tray of several well used candles, their wax spilling over the edges of the silvery platter. The light the flames put off lit Leo's strict, poised form, making him seem to glitter. As if the perfect son wasn't unobtainable enough, the candles made him seem ethereal. Angel-like.

Breath caught in his throat, Raphael watched as the older turtle slowly began to move. His eyes were closed, his eye ridges furrowed, and his snout wrinkled-- his concentration face. The kata he slipped fluidly into was a complicated one that Raphael had never seen before. His jaw dropped open as he watched his brother execute a series of complicated moves he'd only seen Master Splinter perform.

In that moment, he was in awe of the other turtle.

Just as he seemed to be finishing, Leo tripped and fell to his knees. Panting he sat there for several long moments, not moving, then finally, he made a small, angry sound in the back of his throat and pounded his fists against the tatami mats. He pounded them again and again, emphasizing each attack with a growl.

Then, suddenly, he stopped.

Wary that his presence had been sensed, Raphael started to back away. The last thing he wanted to do was interrupt his brother when he was training. Especially if he was this angry.

However, another small sound made him stop dead and look over his shoulder. It had sounded suspiciously like a sniffle.

Leo was hunched forward, his hands flat on the mats and the crown of his head almost touching the floor. This wasn't unusual. Sometimes he would assume that position to breath and recuperate before launching into another attempt. What caught Raph's attention was the way the lighter skinned turtle's shoulders seemed to be quivering. Then, he heard it again. A sniff, though it was louder and wetter this time.

Leonardo, his brave and courageous older brother was... crying.

Not believing his eyes, Raphael croaked," Leo...?"

The older terrapin jolted as if he'd been stung and sat up abruptly to look sharply over his shoulder. His eyes were wide and red and his cheeks were slick with tears. Even in his misery, concern took over his features.

"Raph, is everything all right? What's wrong?"

"Why are you crying, Leo?" Raphael ignored the question and frowned. Leo jerked his face away from his view and he averted his gaze.

"Because... I'm a failure..." He answered," I can't do anything right."

"Says who?" Demanded the younger brother, indignantly stomping across the room to drop beside the other turtle.

"Nobody has to say it. I all ready know," Leo confessed, looking away before continuing in a whisper," no body likes me anymore..."

Whatever Raphael had been expecting to hear, that definitely was not it.

"What are you talking about? Everybody likes you!"

"Don't lie to me!" Leo snarled, shoving the other male hard. Raphael tumbled backwards and landed on his rear. His bottom lip trembled, threatening to slip out, but he sucked it in and looked tearfully at his older brother.

"You guys snuck out without me to get that stupid movie! Then you were going to watch it without even telling me. And don't think I don't notice that I never get invited to play video games with you guys anymore. None of you want to be around me anymore... J-just go away, Raph. Leave me alone," Leo turned away from him and hugged his knees to his chest, burying his face in his arms.

A knot had lodged itself in Raphael's throat. He honestly had not even noticed that he and the others had been leaving their older brother out of everything, but Leo was right. He couldn't remember the last time Leo had played anything with them. He'd always assumed that the blue banded turtle wanted to spend all his time meditating and practicing katas. Amber eyes lowered in shame and came to rest on Leo's fist. The one he could see was bleeding a little along the side from hitting the ground.

Without a word, he stood and took the other male's hand. Leo allowed himself to be tugged out of the room, following without a fight.

Raphael led him to the bathroom where he silently ran the tap and guided the battered hands under the cool water.

Leo watched as his younger brother gently handled his sore and numbing hands. He rinsed the blood away and carefully dried them with an old, tattered towel. Before he could bring himself to thank him, Raphael had thrown himself into his arms, burying his face against his neck.

"I'm sorry for forgetting you, Leo..." He murmured," I'm stupid sometimes..."

After a moment of silence, Leo returned the embrace and sighed," It's okay."

"I won't do it again..."

"I know."

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do, Otouto..."

"Good..." The younger turtle sighed in relief, his shoulders sagging as he leaned against the other male," because I still love you, too, big brother."