Author's Notes: This one-shot actually branched off from one line in my current project: The Perfect Catalyst (shameless plug: Please go read it!). "Looking even more uncomfortable than the time Apollo had tried to "perceive" him, Klavier sheepishly suggested…" (Ch. 3)

Please note: NO APOLLOxKLAVIER pairing!

In the actual game, I remember Trucy telling Apollo that his eyes were kind of popping out when he was first learning how to "perceive", so now I have this vivid image of a semi-bug-eyed Apollo Justice every time he tries to "perceive". And as much as I adore Klavier Gavin, that guy is so much win that he needs to fail (I'm sure someone out there understands)! Anyhow, I thought wouldn't it be fun to throw those two situations together – and there we have the inspiration behind this story.

Enjoy! And Happy Valentine's Day!

TURNABOUT AFFECTIONS

"GREAT NEWS, POLLY!"

Arriving to work that morning, Apollo Justice was brightly greeted by an extremely excited Trucy Wright, who appeared to be even more excited than usual.

"Do we finally have a new case?" Apollo asked, his tone not nearly as enthusiastic as the young magician's was. After all, he was a very different type of professional than Trucy – specifically an unemployed one.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Technically, Apollo was still an active employee of the Wright Talent Agency: he comes to the office every day; he logs important events in his journal (it was not a diary!); he assists Trucy with her magic tricks; and he even helps Mr. Wright do whatever it is that Phoenix Wright does all day. Apollo Justice did more or less everything but his actual profession: practice law.

It had been more than four months since the relatively young defense attorney had participated in the first ever Jurist System simulation trial, which turned out to be a huge success. However, that success did not attach itself to Apollo – he hadn't had a client since then and he was beginning to wonder if he would ever get another one.

"Cheer up, Polly!" Trucy chirped in response to Apollo's gloomy face, when she confirmed his hunch that they had not received another case, "It's something waaaaay better!"

Completely unmoved by the prospect of this "great news", Apollo simply started his morning routine of making coffee. "What is it, Trucy?"

"Look!"

A brightly coloured sheet of paper was immediately shoved in his face.

"Are you looking to fall in love? Need help finding your soul mate? Presenting the Wright Dating Agency?!" Apollo stared at the flyer in horror. "Trucy, what is this?"

The magician began to eagerly bounce on her toes. "Isn't it a great idea, Polly? Especially with Valentine's Day coming up this weekend, I bet there's a lot of people out there who could use our help!"

Apollo groaned, "No, I don't think this is a good idea at all!"

Trucy appeared to be genuinely confused, "Why not?"

The young lawyer faltered. How do you explain to a fifteen year old that most dating services were less than reputable businesses?

"Yeah, why not?"

A third voice floated in behind them. Phoenix Wright casually strolled in through the door wearing his usual laid back attire.

"Mr. Wright, you can't seriously support this idea!" Apollo pleaded to his boss and mentor.

The older man walked over to the coffee machine and flipped open the empty lid. His only response was simply, "Apollo, you've been slacking; there's no coffee."

Irritated at Phoenix's lack of concern for his adolescent daughter's new ambitions, Apollo tried to reason with him, "Mr. Wright, I really don't think we should be interfering with other people's love lives!"

"But, Polly, we already have three clients!"

"What?!" Apollo stared at Trucy incredulously, "Who?!"

The young professional grinned mischievously as she explained, "One of the waitresses down at the Wonder Bar found out that we personally know Mr. Gavin and she got really excited and told the other two waitresses there and then they asked me if I could "hook them up" with some autographs. And then, they all confessed that they're madly in love with Mr. Gavin!"

Apollo's eye twitched. I think that's a different type of love, Trucy…

"We can't just let those three girls live a life without love, Polly!" Truly passionately argued, "And plus, I already promised we'd help them!"

"You did what?!" How do all of our conversations always end up spiralling out of control like this?!

"The Wright Dating Agency never lets down its clients!"

"That'a girl, Trucy." Phoenix cheered encouragingly from the coffeemaker.

"So you think it's a good idea, Daddy?"

"Absolutely, Trucy."

"Thanks, Daddy! I'm gonna go make more photocopies of these flyers then and you can help me hand them out later, Polly!" With a swish of her cape, Trucy disappeared into the other room.

Apollo stood stunned – as often happened after a long conversation with Trucy. What had just happened? What did I just agree to? Where am I again?!

"Coffee's ready." Phoenix's aloof voice announced from somewhere far away.

With a heavy sigh, Apollo walked next to Phoenix and poured himself a cup of coffee. There was no sense in reasoning with those two – they had their own convoluted system of logic that he couldn't even begin to understand.

"You know, Trucy could be good at this business." Phoenix muttered to his coffee.

Apollo looked up at his boss in surprise. "But, she's still too young to understand how… complicated love can get."

Phoenix flashed his usual crooked smile at the younger man. "Most adults don't even understand how complicated love can get. Love is just a game about understanding each other's feelings. Whoever figures it out is the winner; those who can't read other people's emotions are the ones that find love so difficult."

Surprisingly, that made a lot of sense to Apollo. He carefully listened as Phoenix continued one of his rare monologues, "As you're already aware, Trucy has a talent for reading emotions, so I'm sure she'll be able to succeed in this dating agency thing."

"But, you can't just perceive if someone is in love. It's not that easy!" Apollo objected.

His mentor was completely unfazed, "You're right. But it does make things a lot easier, if you can distinguish their truths from lies. All you have to do then is ask the right questions."

With a final mysterious smile, Phoenix meandered off, leaving Apollo to ponder this last piece of advice as he drank his morning coffee.

"You ready, Polly?!"

"Ready for what?" Apollo grumbled as he stood outside of the Wright Dating Agency office building on a chilly February afternoon. He had changed out of his usual suit, instead wearing a sweater and khakis for "a more comfortable, casual look", as Trucy had ordered him earlier that morning.

"Polly! We're never going to attract clients with that depressed attitude of yours! You have to be cheerful and charming! Today, we're going to make love!!!"

Apollo quickly moved to cover Trucy's mouth – but not quickly enough. Several passer-bys stared at the two disapprovingly before continuing along their route a little faster.

Why did he even bother anymore? It was always like this with Trucy. It wasn't until two weeks ago that Phoenix had finally stopped teasing him about the Magic Panties incident – his daughter's Magic Panties.

"C'mon, Polly! You agreed to help today!"

That was true. Apollo did somehow end up getting coerced into this Wright Dating Agency business.

Oh yeah, because my boss ordered me to help his daughter – that's how!

Trucy handed him a large stack of flyers and immediately started barking out orders, "You'll take the courthouse, Prosecutors' Office and Police Department. I'll cover People Park, Mr. Eldoon's Noodle Stand and if I have time, the Hickfield Clinic, got it? We'll meet back at HQ at 1700 hours!"

"Wait, wait!" Apollo called out to Trucy, who in all her excitement had already began to bounce away, "If I have the Prosecutor's Office, does this mean I have to talk to Prosecutor Gavin?"

There was a short pause as Trucy contemplated this. "Good idea, Polly! Why don't you try to find out if he has a girlfriend or not?" She suggested, "You guys can have a man-to-man talk, or whatever it was that Daddy used to call them. You're both men, so I'm sure it'll be easy."

Apollo swallowed – he was sure it was going to be anything but easy.

Noticing his lack of confidence, Trucy gave him her usual courtroom pep talk, "Don't worry so much. Chin up, Polly!"

With a grim nod, Apollo watched as Trucy skipped towards the park. Turning in the opposite direction, Apollo began to march towards his first destination, the office of Rock Star-Prosecutor Klavier Gavin.

Taking a deep breath, Apollo poked his head into the slightly ajar door to Prosecutor Gavin's office.

"Ah, Herr Forehead, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Klavier regarded Apollo from his comfortable looking massage chair, with a rather thick looking file folder open on his lap.

"Uhhhh… Hi, Prosecutor Gavin." Apollo greeted awkwardly. He had never visited the prosecutor outside of business before, so he was completely unsure as to how to start the conversation. What had Trucy suggested again?

"Are those for me, Herr Forehead?" Klavier asked. He closed his file folder and curiously stared at the thick stack of papers in Apollo's arms.

"Oh, yeah! Here." The defense attorney walked over to Klavier, handing him one copy.

The prosecutor stood up and read the flyer with a look of amusement. "My, my, Herr Wright certainly keeps you busy, ja?"

His mentor's voice suddenly popped into Apollo's head, "All you have to do then is ask the right questions", followed immediately by Trucy's earlier advice, "You guys can have a man-to-man talk…"

Well, here goes nothing…

"Hey, Gavin! Do you have a girlfriend?" Being tactful wasn't one of Apollo's strong suits; after all, his teacher was lacking in that particular aspect too.

Needless to say, Klavier was a little more than surprised by Apollo's spontaneous outburst, but quickly recovered in a way that only a rock star-prosecutor can.

"Unfortunately, no. It's one of the downsides of being so famous, ja?"

Apollo tried to focus. His bracelet wasn't reacting at all. Klavier must've been telling the truth.

"Uh… is there anyone you're interested in then?"

The prosecutor stared at Apollo curiously and laughed, "Why the sudden interrogation, Herr Forehead?"

Apollo felt a throb. Aha, you can't hide from Justice, Prosecutor Gavin! He stared straight at Klavier with unblinking eyes.

"I think there is someone you're interested in!"

He noticed Klavier twitch uncomfortably, trying to avoid Apollo's gaze.

"Herr Forehead, do you think you could perhaps… blink? Your eyes are somewhat unnerving."

Ah, he must be cracking!

"Am I… interrupting something?"

Apollo jumped back with a start – he noticed that Klavier did the same. He must've been so focussed on "perceiving" that he didn't even notice Ema walk through the door. She stood in the middle of the room, watching the two men with a bemused look on her face.

"No, not at all!" Klavier's charming smile was quickly fixed back into place, "What can I do for you, Fräulein Detective?"

Apollo watched as Ema slammed a thick file folder on his desk. "Here's the case file for the trial on Monday – I've included an updated evidence list and the revised autopsy report that just came in. And here…"

To Apollo's surprise, Ema pulled out a neat stack of red and pink envelopes out of her bag and practically tossed them at the prosecutor, "are all your stupid love letters! Tell your fans to stop dropping them off at the precinct; I can't even see my desk with all these blindingly coloured envelopes covering it!"

"And why are they being dropped off at your desk, Fräulein Detective?" Klavier asked with a smirk.

"How am I supposed to know, fop?" Ema snapped back, "I've found a stack of these on my desk every morning this week!"

"Maybe because it's Valentine's Day this Saturday?" Apollo suggested helpfully.

She stared at Apollo as if he'd grown a second head.

"Is Fräulein unfamiliar with the day of love?" Klavier teased.

"What? Of course I know what Valentine's Day is!" Ema cried out indignantly, "I just forgot that it was coming so soon!"

Apollo suddenly felt his bracelet tighten. Aha! Ema is hiding something! He could hear Phoenix's earlier advice loudly in his head: "… ask the right questions."

"Ema," Apollo blurted out abruptly, "are you planning on doing something for Valentine's Day?"

He watched Ema's eyes widened and blood rushed to her face as she stammered, "N-n-nooo! Why?"

Gotcha!

The familiar rush of uncovering the truth was getting Apollo fired up, "Ema, I think-"

"Herr Forehead, I am trying to have a meeting with Fräulein Detective. Perhaps this could wait until another time?" Klavier swiftly cut him off with a slight frown.

Apollo felt another pulse in his wrist. Huh? Prosecutor Gavin too?

Ema was now staring at him somewhat expectantly, cheeks still red from embarrassment.

I'm so close – I can't stop now!

"Do you have plans for Valentine's Day too, Prosecutor Gavin?!"

Klavier looked stunned for a brief moment, before his cocky smile slid back into place. "I don't believe that is any of your business, Herr Forehead."

And there, the feeling subsided until it completely disappeared. Apollo had hit a dead end. For a few seconds, both Klavier and Ema stared at Apollo, while he simply stared back. He had been so sure there was something there – something they were both hiding – but in the end, he couldn't "perceive" anything.

Maybe you can't "perceive" love after all. Well, at least Trucy will be happy to hear Prosecutor Gavin doesn't have a girlfriend.

With a dejected sigh, Apollo excused himself from the office.

The door slammed as Apollo begrudgingly exited.

"What was that about?" Ema asked in bewilderment.

"I think Herr Forehead is having some romance problems. Perhaps, he was trying to seek your company, ja?" Klavier joked good-naturedly.

"Oh? You guys were having a pretty intense moment there when I walked in." Ema poked back in a taunting tone.

Klavier resisted the urge to shudder at the memory. "Herr Forehead has a peculiar way of asking questions: he stares at you with these wide, unblinking eyes. I believe it makes people… uncomfortable."

Ema snickered, "Yes. That was a priceless expression on your face, fop. If only your precious fräuleins could've see you then."

"Ah, it pains me so when my favourite Fräulein Detective mocks me so coldly," Klavier pouted, clutching his heart with a heavy sigh.

The young detective regarded him wearily. "I'll see you in court on Monday, Prosecutor Gavin."

Turning on her heels, Ema walked back towards the door. As she was about to exit, Klavier called out to her, "Fräulein Detective, it appears that one of these letters is addressed to you."

Ema didn't even bother to turn around. "Oh? Who's it from?" She sounded completely uninterested.

Klavier smirked at the young woman's back, "There is no name."

Ema gave him a half glance; there was a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Then I guess it's not important," was her simple answer, as she closed the door behind her.

The prosecutor could only sigh as he tossed Ema's letter onto the pile with others. He recognized Ema's neat printing under his own distinct cursive; it was marked: "RETURN TO SENDER"

Author's Notes:
It was brought to my attention that "RETURN TO SENDER" isn't a universally understood concept, so I'll give a brief explanation for those who are a little confused by the ending.
This may be different for every country's postal system, but where I live, if you get a letter mailed to your address but isn't addressed to you (so maybe the previous inhabitant or just a mistaken addressee) then all you have to do is write "RETURN TO SENDER" on the envelope and throw it back into the postbox and the postal system will (I assume) return the letter to the sender.
Ahaha... and please don't be offended, but I'm just going to take it one step further and explain the significance to the story: There was no sender information on the letter for Ema - in other words, no RTS address. But regardless, Ema wrote RTS on the envelope and gave it back to Klavier - indicating that she was fully aware that Klavier was the sender.
Hope that clears everything up! Please feel free to send feedback - they are always helpful, despite what you may think!