Falling inside the black.

Disclaimer: It is with a heavy heart that I admit that the rights to House MD or its characters aren't mine, wish they were. Who doesn't, really? The plot –or what seems to be a plot- it's mine though.

A/N: I'm sorry for the delay, but as I said I wasn't so sure anymore about the story and all. This is not my best chapter, but I'm posting anyway cuz you've been amazing! Thanks to all the ones who reviewed and who still add my story to alert or fav. Enjoy..

18° chapter

It was happening. She couldn't believe it. With all the pain they would cause to others and themselves, it was happening anyway. What was wrong with her, that didn't feel guilty or regret about it? She was cheating on her boyfriend! What was wrong with her friend –if Cameron was still that after all– that'd allowed that to happen? What was wrong with them, whom kept looking for each other even when they knew that they couldn't be together?

"Why?" She asked, curious and pensive. But she knew the answer. She had been lying to herself for way too long. She knew they needed each other. The wrong -or right, depending on how you looked at it- circumstances had already taken place.

This was going to have consequences, terrible consequences. Even worse: they knew it would happen again, and again, and eventually someone would figure it all out and it'd be hell for the both of them. Still, they had left it happen.

As the blonde trailed kisses up her neck to her jaw, Thirteen wondered what had happened to her. She was a sinner right from the beginning, but the other… Allison was a good person, or a least better than her.. How had she done that?

"You like this?" she heard her co-worker murmuring against her throat. Her voice low, but soft as velvet.

Remy stifled a smile. She hadn't got a right to smile in this situation. They were making a big mistake. A very enjoyable mistake. They were feeling right, even when it was supposed to be wrong, against all the predictions.

Neither Cameron knew how or why this had happened; it was insane to feel it right when it was so wrong, in all the levels… so dangerous, so forbidden. Maybe it was that.

A part of her mind was practically screaming her to stop what she was doing… what they were doing… but it was overwhelmed by the majority of her brain that was telling it to shut the hell up. When the brunette planted a kiss on her lips, it was like a morphine-injection that put that last conscious part of her mind to sleep.

She kissed her back passionately and left the instincts guide her into the dark.

"So, who did you take home last night? Or the other nights of this week for the matter?" House demanded, without calling for her. Remy just knew he was addressing her.

"No one." she tried to brush the matter aside.

"Oh, so no one gave you those… cute lovebites?" the older man grinned when he saw his internist tense.

The brunette touched briefly her neck, averting her eyes. Luckily in that moment Taub returned in the diagnostic room. But she wasn't saved yet. Eric will ask for sure. Damn!

After all, she had been more than lucky it had taken House all those days to notice the hickeys she was sporting on her neck. She had happily found out Allison loved to concentrate her attention on her neck.

She was still storming down the hall when she bumped into someone.

"Hey, are you okay?" a familiar voice asked kindly.

Thirteen's face brightened up as she replied "Yeah, I'm fine. Just…House."

"Ah." Cameron smirked knowingly. With that single name, her co-worker had managed to sum up most of the problems of the entire hospital.

The younger found herself smiling back, but she added "I wouldn't smile if I were you. He noticed… your cute lovebites."

The blonde's expression changed, her eyes growing bigger. She took her friend by the wrist and drew her away form the hallway. "What?!" she whispered hissing.

"They are not that little, you know." it was Remy's time to smirk. "Plus it's hard to hide them." she continued thoughtful, still playful however.

The older doctor hit her on the shoulder "Ow! What?"

"Be careful next time! What did you tell him?"

"Me? Careful?! It's you who can't keep her mouth away from my sexy neck."

"You think so?"

"Mmm." Thirteen nodded, slipping her hands around the smaller's waist.

"Well, if it's that so…" Allison stepped back "I won't touch your neck next time."

On the brunette's face appeared something similar to a pout, as she murmured a "No.."

"What?" the other girl mocked instead, "Can't hear."

"You're mean." the taller woman whined, amused though. "And no. I don't want you to stop giving me… cute lovebites."

They both laughed, "Can't believe House said that. Love bites…"

"Oh I do, bet it had been fun."

"Not really." Remy pushed her friend on the wall in front. "You'll explain Eric?"

Cameron huffed and murmured something under her breath.

"What?"

"I said.. you should indeed tell him." she sighed "I mean, it can't go on like this. I…" she faltered.

"Are you asking me to dump my boyfriend?"

The blonde stood silent for some moments, then spoke out "No, no. You're right. I'm not asking you anything. No one should force you into anything… just be careful. See you, okay?"

With that the ER doctor walked away.

Thirteen sighed, because she knew if Cameron asked she would. She would leave Foreman. She knew she would. "Damn…" she muttered once alone.

&&&

Allison sat cross-legged on her bed, looking at the bracelet that Remy had given her. She was smiling to herself thinking about... it? No. About her... "You're an amazing woman. Don't put yourself down. I may not know about cutting, but I know those feelings you're talking about. Loneliness and all… You're not sick okay? I used drugs, drank too much and slept around just to feel something. Everyone makes mistake… it doesn't change the person you are. I still like you."

That's what the brunette had told her in that on-call room, many nights ago… or what appeared many many nights ago. Only two weeks had almost passed, but a mess had been created since then.

The doctor was so confused. Only now she was starting to become aware of what she had put herself into. Thirteen had got really attached, calling her many times and asking to pay her some visits. And there was still Eric. Today she had told her that it was better to tell him.

"Right..." Cameron snorted and got off her bed.

Everything seemed blurred and each decision hard to make. She didn't know what was right or wrong anymore. She needed time alone. It felt suffocating to be at work. With every look too insistent she felt uncomfortable, what if someone find out? In the cafeteria Thirteen kept sending her subtly smiles, but she betted Foreman would notice sooner or later. Her ethical moral was telling her to stop. Everything. Just to cut all off. But she found herself unable to do so.

What was left to understand was why.

What seemed to be another normal shift turned to be unexpected. Cameron spotted him after an hour of work. His trademark walk followed by the thud of his cane.

The older man preceded her "Cameron." he greeted.

What could he be possible want now?! Let him not ask about Remy…

"House." she hoped to sound as calm as she wished to be.

"I'm sure you're wondering what I am doing here. In fact I'm about to explain it. Buuut, first-" he tilted his head toward a young boy sat to an ER bed.

Allison walked toward her next patient. She didn't want to be observed while she worked, but she tried not to mind much. The boy wasn't serious, thus it only took some minutes.

"So?" she turned to face her former boss. "What you came in for?"

"To satisfy a personal curiosity." he replied vaguely.

The blonde stared at him, as to say 'Go on'.

"Since you are all chummy with Thirteen now-" he sighed to add a dramatic affect "I was wondering if you knew who she's spending her nights with. Cuz you know, Foreman seems perplexed as much as me." the man grinned. It was clear he had already a theory about Remy's new companion.

"I have no idea." the girl replied straightly, her face not giving away the nervousness she was feeling.

"You sure?" House came even nearer, invading her personal space. She raises an eyebrow. "I know one thing. The hickeys on her neck are noticeable but can't be made by a man. They are not that big."

Cameron tensed at the words, "Okay?" she looked away briefly "And since when this is a news? Dr. Hadley likes girls too, so…"

The doctor was staring intently at her, making her more and more anxious. His piercing blue eyes trying to read her. She needed a way out. Luckily out the corner of her eyes she spotted a nurse coming closer.

"Dr. Cameron?" the woman spoke out a bit confused at the scene.

At this House nodded, and limped away.

&&&

Her shift was finally over. But at home it wasn't any better. She decided to shower to wash away some bad thoughts and sick sensations.

While at it, she was reminded of that first attempt. She shuddered as the water glistened over a couple of scars. Her shaky finger grazed over the slightly raised skin, outlining them. It reminded her that she should never do that again. It reminded of how she had felt back then, how she hadn't been sure if she would ever be happy again. Every shower, every morning, every day.

She would wear her mask of the happy caring girl known as Dr. Cameron. It didn't bother her that much anymore. But every once in a while you got to see what's beneath. To see the real Allison. She wasn't depressed, not fake to care for others. But sometimes she just wished someone would do the same, for her.

The door bell rang and she opened the door. After hesitating she looked down on the ground, enough so the other could partially see her face. She'd been crying, Remy noticed from the red veins in her right eye. She came near.

"Hey…" she whispered softly.

"You could have called, not that I don't want you here." the blonde sighed a ragged breath, and turned her head away. "I was just taking a shower and it's really late."

"I know… but I couldn't sleep and I had to talk to you face to face." Thirteen excused herself tiredly.

"Alright, why don't you stay in the living room for a while and I'll be down once I'm changed?"

The younger smiled and sat on the couch.

Moments later, after she was warm enough in her pajamas, Cameron returned in the living room. She inhaled deeply. She always felt this nervous lately. She didn't know why her co-worker was here. Maybe it's something big that couldn't have waited for tomorrow. She sat down next to the brunette and waited for her to start talking.

They stared at each other for what seemed like hours. "I'm sorry for coming over so late…" Remy started slowly.

Every since I realized I had feelings for you, I have gone crazy! That's what the internist wanted to scream, but found herself too afraid to. It was all so new for her, and it surely sucked hard. She didn't want to mess up even more what she had with the ER doctor. I'll scare her away, I'll scare her away. Shit! Usually she was the one troubled by serious and complicated situation, but she was discovering she wanted all with Cameron.

"I…" she faltered, looking all around the room.

The older girl scooted closer, "It's okay…" she took the other's hands in her own.

"It's… It's over with Eric."

Allison looked at the taller woman in surprise. "What?"

"It's over… I do love Eric but I'm not in love with him anymore. It only works as long as I keep the dark and crazy down. I can be a happy person, I can, but I can't be like he wants me to -even if he's been good with me, helped and all- he can't take it. It's over because all I thought in those last weeks was you. Being separated was the most painful thing I've ever done. Because if you are not here, there's no one left. I didn't even feel like sex. And when we did it, I saw your face the whole time." she had said the whole sentence in one breath. Her face all flushed.

"Remy… what…"

"He had started to notice. He knew something was wrong. The hickeys oh god.. and I missing most of his dates. He asked and asked… so. It's not your fault, it wasn't working. But now.. with you… I know, I just know what I want."

The look she was receiving made the blonde shiver. Those two light blue eyes, so deep and full of emotions. The girl found her mouth drying and her train of thought stopping. She leaned in and captured her friend's lips in her own.

Everything else would come later.

A/N: Bear with me! I hadn't read the chapter again. Not feeling so great (I do not mean physically) so if you spot any errors let me know. R&R are love