Well, hello! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness!

I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be!

Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make!

"Speaking"

*Stress/emphasis*

//Thinking//

Guardian Beast of the Seal, Wimpy, Scaredy Cat.

By Dr Megalomania.

Part fourteen: I, um, I, er. . . I'm really. . . I'm really, really. . .

[Thanks go out to The PenMaster for finding out Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia . . . no, I can't explain it. . . I suffer from it!! Please read and review!!]

A few hours later . . . in the deep dark recesses of the most powerful book ever created in the history of the mystic origins of mankind . . .

"Order, Order! Now . . . is there any new business?"

"Ahem . . . Yes there is!" the Earthy stood, "It has come to the attention of the elder cards that our beloved Keroberos, guardian beast of the seal has recovered from his illness . . . therefore, not only do our plans for recovery need to be shelved but we can also be assured that none of our guardians will ever fall sick ever again."

The cards all looked up as Thunder cracked . . .

. . .his knuckles loudly.

All the cards swivelled to look at the Thunder beast, who cracked his other paw quickly, "What? I haven't cracked them in ages . . . Clow-sama, it must have been well over a—"

The Firey rolled her eyes impatiently, "I dunno about you but I would like to get this CC meeting over and done with please . . ."

"CC?" The Watery folded her arms behind her head and flopped her watery tail on the polished briefing table, "Surely you are not revering to that awful dub from America? What's it called?"

"Oh! Um. . ." the Big clapped her hands together, "I know what you mean! Um. . . I think, um, I think they call it Card Crap—"

"Ahem!" The Earthy cleared her throat loudly, "Yes well, we all know about that!"

The Fly shook out her wings slightly, "I don't! I don't think I was there when they showed the first episode!"

"Ah ya didn't miss much!" The Thunder beast growled, "Now can we finish up please!"

"Sure, sure. . . now, about the state of our moon guardian. . . has he returned from the roof yet?"

Yue was a mess. A complete unholy mess. His clothes were soaked right through, and being white and not to mention really, really thin . . .

"Clow was a really, really, really, really dirty old man, wasn't he?" Eriol and Syaoran walked along the door to Touya's room, Syaoran eyed his distant relative by default normally . . . I mean, suspiciously.

"What ever do you mean?" Eriol chirped musically.

"Yue's clothes are see-though . . . I don't mean a little bit see-though, I mean . . . he's virtually naked!"

Yue turned suddenly, "I AM NAKED!!!" He yelled before slamming his door shut.

A few hours later, Touya knocked lightly on the door, there was a sniffle and a quiet, "Come in." Touya pushed the door open and found Yue leaning out of the open window, "What are you doing?"

He strained to hear Yue's miserable reply, "Nothing."

Touya closed the door quietly and took in the sight of the miserable moon guardian, Yue, judgement maker that he was, was dressed in Yukito's favourite P.J's, namely cutesy bunny rabbit ones with large fluffy rabbit slippers and a widdle bunny-eared sleeping cap. Yue looked . . . well, what I mean is, he really did look . . . Yue the judgement maker simply looked . . .

"Not a word . . . not a single word, Kinomoto-san . . . or I swear every time you and Yuki get it on, ol' snow bunny-wunny will start clucking like a chicken in labour with an ostriches' egg and doing a great impression of General Kentucky!"

Touya had to snicker at Yue's deadpan tone, and smiled as he wrapped his arms around Yue's pwetty bunny patterned waist, "But you look so. . ."

"Buck-buck-buckTAK!"

"But—" Touya would have continued their game but one look at Yue's despondent face advised him not to try it. He rested his chin on Yue's shoulder and they stared out on to the stormy sky together, silently. Touya was a little concerned that Yue seemed a little cooler than usual, but put that down again to the new moon that night, //Yue must be conserving on energy . . .//

Yue sighed, "I loved him, I really loved him . . . and he left me . . ."

Touya would have been really, really romantic and pressed his face into Yue's hair, breathing in the moon guardian's sweet scent of lavender and pure ice, and breathlessly declared that he loved Yue, that he would never leave him . . . then there would be this really romantic bit where Yue would turn and say, 'My god! Your love for me has open my eyes and I have finally seen the light . . . I should stop moping over Clow, he's dead now and there's nothing I can do about it!' and then Touya would be like: 'It's true and I'm so over old Kaho, I realise now that she was a bit of a hentai!' and then in a great bout of completely out of character emotion, he would proudly declare, 'I love you, Yue!'

And then Yue's sparkling eyes would have widened in wondrous shock and dreamy amazement, and then he would have thrown himself into Touya's strong arms and whispered tearfully, 'I love you, Touya!' before Touya would have hauled him up into those big ol' strong arms of his, and carried him swiftly to bed and then there would have been a beautiful, life affirming, deep, meaningful, passionate, worshipful, tender, loving night of glorious sweet nothings and a happy fanfictale ending . . .

Except. . .

Except. . .

Yue had hair curlers in and so Touya didn't particularly feel like poking his eye out today. Instead he silently squeezed Yue tighter, hoping to get across that Yue didn't have to take this alone anymore . . .

With Ruby, Meilin and Spinel taking care of Kero, Sakura and Syaoran slipped off quietly, or at least that's what they thought. "Tomoyo darling . . . sweetie . . . give me the camera . . ."

"What?!"

"Give me the camera please . . . I want a moment alone with you."

Tomoyo cast one more look at Sakura as the honey coloured haired girl blushed as the little wolf wrapped an arm around her small shoulders. They were 'watching' TV, really, they were. Anyway, Eriol eventually pulled Tomoyo away into the sweet smelling kitchen.

"You remember when I promised that if I ever felt like bawling my eyes out like a little girl I would come to you and do it?" He said jokingly, in his usual manner. Tomoyo understood immediately and held her arms out, Eriol smiled ruefully as he gratefully slipped into Tomoyo's warm embrace. "Thank you . . ." he mumbled into her hair, he sniffed, "Hmm . . . is that vanilla?"

Tomoyo chuckled, "Indeed it is . . ."

"I love vanilla." Eriol confessed softly, "It reminds me of home . . ."

"Really?"

"Yeah, my mansion was just downwind of a vanilla ice-cream factory . . ." Eriol held the purple haired girl a little closer as she giggled; he adored her, and was very thankful that she understood him.

He smiled and closed his eyes, "Tomoyo . . ." he whispered, "I have a confession to make . . ."

"Hai?" Tomoyo turned her head a little to listen to the whispering magician, she felt Eriol smile his rueful smile again.

He pulled away from her slightly and looked her plainly in the eye; "Before I make it . . . I think you should know how old I am . . ."

Tomoyo smiled softly, and placed a pale hand against his cheek, "Over a century?"

Eriol nodded, "Suffice to say old queen Vic was in her proverbial short trousers when I celebrated my twentieth." 

Tomoyo smiled, "That's okay with me . . . although, I'm curious how did you manage to---?"

"Keep this boyish appearance?" Tomoyo nodded and Eriol sucked in a quick breath, "Let's just say my life is just one huge giant plothole. Don't make me have to explain the process."

Tomoyo shook her head, and chuckled, "Never answer a straight question?"

"Never!" Eriol suddenly turned serious, "Do you mind?"

Tomoyo thought about this, then smiled as she made her decision, "No, I don't, why?"

"I, um, I, er. . . I'm really . . . I'm really, really . . ." Eriol looked down and then glanced at her over the rim of his glasses, "I'm very much in love with you . . . and I know this is rather old fashioned of me but I'd like to start . . ." he sighed, and squeezed his eyes shut, "I'd like to start courting you, properly . . ."

The purple haired girl giggled slightly, "You make it sound like a marriage proposal!"

Eriol blushed and looked away, "I wasn't planning to ask you that just yet . . ." he muttered. Tomoyo pulled his face back towards her, and pressed a light kiss over the pale lips of Clow Reed's reincarnation, "Pity . . ." she whispered, "I'd most likely accept it . . ."

He was so stunned, that he didn't manage to pull himself back together until just before she left the room, "Tomoyo, will you . . .?"

"Hai." She paused, her small hand resting on the doorway as she looked back at him.

"Court me?"

She nodded silently. Her affirmation made him feel a little bolder.

"Marry me?"

She smiled, and nodded again, then smiled once more before slipping out of the room. Eriol blushed, then he grinned, then he started to do a silly little victory dance . . . completely unaware his new girlfriend was taping the whole thing.

"Sakura?"

"Hai?"

"I, um, I, er. . . I'm really. . . I'm really, really. . ."

"Haaaai?"

Syaoran drew a deep breath; "You know I really love you right?"

"Hai, I really love you too."

"Really?"

She smiled and turned towards the Chinese boy, she held up her small finger that he immediately linked with his own, she grinned, "Really."

He smiled, and then his eyes seemed to slip a little. Self consciously, she sucked in her bottom lip and smiled slowly, as she watch him repeat her motions. He smiled as well, "You know how you said I hadn't noticed that you were young woman now . . .?"

Sakura didn't trust her voice so she nodded slowly; he smiled and started to pull her towards him gently by her little finger. He didn't stop pulling until she could feel his breath softly on her blushing cheek, his dark eyes flicker up to meet her own wide emerald ones, "Trust me . . ." he whispered, his dark brown eyes sliding shut as he brushed a ghost of a kiss over her lips. "I've noticed . . ."

Sakura couldn't contain the sigh that escaped her lips as she felt Syaoran twist his fingers in her hair and pull her so much closer . . . "I've noticed . . ." he breathed.

**RING!!**

They leapt apart like guilty teens caught in the . . . wait, they *were* guilty teens caught in the act. Syaoran growled slightly as he picked up the phone, "Kinomoto residence!"

He could virtually see the eyebrow rise as Touya's voice said quite sternly, "No you haven't, trust me, you haven't!"

Syaoran blinked, and then stare upward. "How do you do that?!"

"I am the master of the universe . . . I see all . . ."

"I BEG TO DIFFER!!" Eriol's voice yelled from the kitchen.

Syaoran put the phone down and slapped his forehead, "That was such a perfect moment! Why me?!"

Sakura giggled and pulled his hands into her lap, "I don't know, but it was very well done . . ." she pulled him towards her, "Let's pick up from where we left off. . ."

Eriol glanced at his distant relative as they prepare the night's dinner together. They were going to have one last meal, to celebrate Keroberos getting better, and maybe take Yue's mind off the day's revelations. "You told her!"

"Hmm?" Syaoran paused, as he tasted the soup. He looked at Eriol who folded his arms and leaned against the counter.

"You told her properly didn't you?"

Syaoran blushed and nodded, "Yeah, you?"

Eriol smiled happily, "Yes I did. . ." he sighed, "I can't wait until she's of legal age. . ."

"Why?"

"We'll be getting hitched!"

"Really?"

"Yep! She said yes!" Eriol grinned, "It's my first time. . . I've never been so happy!"

Syaoran shook his head, "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Eriol picked up the plates and cutlery, "And you too."

Syaoran picked up the first course soup, he smiled, "We are very, very lucky men. . ."

"What's luck got to do with anything . . . this was all fate!"

Keroberos glanced at Yue again, the moon guardian looked positively miserable. //He's not taking this very well. . .// he sighed and ladled. . . well, Sakura ladled some more soup into his bowl. Eriol had tried to cheer Yue up, but was failing horrifically. The only persons who managed to get a smile out of the moon angel were Touya and Sakura, but those smiles were fading fast. The table was alternatively happy and quiet, it was no secret that Eriol and Tomoyo, and Sakura and Syaoran were now both happy couples, but Yue's depression prevented Sakura was celebrating much, and Eriol . . . well, Eriol still failed horrifically.

A little later the group settled down in the living, Yue had insisted that he do the dishes alone and Keroberos suggested that this might be a good idea, Yue always took to the kitchen when he need comfort. Touya stayed in the living room partly because he recognised that Yue might need some time alone, and partly because he wanted to keep an eye on a certain Chinese wolf.

Syaoran and Sakura, despite the slightly imposing company of Touya settled back together on the floor, he was teaching her some random magic tricks, he was knelt behind her as she sat on the floor. Eriol and Tomoyo watched them from the sofa, well Tomoyo did, Eriol was curled up, leaning his head on her shoulder. The blue haired magician murmured some indecipherable nonsense chuckled and lay a gently kiss on her hair.

Spinel, Ruby and Meilin were playing scrabble again, the two girls were determined to beat him. Spinel smiled self-indulgently as they checked his latest word in the dictionary.

Keroberos bounded down the stairs, "Boy, that was good!" He enthused, he'd gone for a nice little nap, and was now truly better, he grinned as he bounced into the room. "So? Where's Yue?"

"Hm?" Sakura looked up, and giggled slightly as Syaoran whispered his affections into her ear again.

"Where's Yue?" Keroberos repeated, "I might as well sort this out soon or he'll start moping over Clow again."

"What's so bad about that?" Meilin murmured, "Grief is part of the natural life cycle. . . allow him time enough to get over the man!"

Keroberos cocked his head and stared at the red eyed girl, "I tried that once. . . the first time I saw him smile in well over four centuries was shortly after the final judgement. . . I almost had a heart attack! So? Where is he?"

Tomoyo smiled as Eriol's hands grasped hers a little possessively, "I think he's still in the kitchen."

"Sure has been in there a while. . ." Touya peeled his eyes of Syaoran long enough to glance at the door, "Think we should check on him?"

"Nah!" Keroberos muttered, "I'll take him on!"

As Keroberos ambled into the kitchen, Eriol pulled Tomoyo a little closer to him, Touya put his feet up and sniggered as Ruby nearly throttled Spinel for calling her 'a imprudent bamboozled individual with no vogue-related sagacity.' She wasn't attacking him for the insult, but for the way it was delivered.

Meilin continued to search for sesquideolophobia, but was becoming more and more sceptical of it's existence, Spinel coughed quietly, "You might want to try under 'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia' . . ." when she glared at him he shrugged, "That's it in it's full term. . ."

 Syaoran smiled at his cousin's deliberations and turned his attention on his beautiful cheery blossom. "Well," Sakura leaned back against him, "At least that's over and done with. . . now we will never have to worry about anyone ever falling ill ever again!"

The group looked up as Thunder cracked . . .

. . .his knuckles again, earning him a slap from the Firey, "Quit with the freaking thunder cracks already!!"

Sakura smiled and shook her head, she closed her eyes and snuggled down with Syaoran, "Indeed, no more worries ever again. . ."

A tranquil quiet settle over the group.

A quiet which was shattered by Keroberos' yell, his voice was laced with an unfamiliar fear.

"YUE!!"

Touya was the first to react and jogged into the kitchen, Sakura fainted, Syaoran grinned because she fainted into her arms then frowned as he realised that Yue being sick was probably going to be worse than Kero, Meilin's face blanked then she closed the dictionary and started to hit her own head with it, Spinel stopped her because he feared damage to the book, Ruby looked at Eriol who sat there dumbfounded. Upstairs all the cards under Kero's protection winced when all the cards under Yue's protection screamed their heads off. . . well except for the silent and the shadow who just faffed their arms a bit . . . Inside Eriol's mind, Clow Reed tried to sneak out the door but he was hauled back, as Eriol whispered a deadly threat in his ear.

"If I have to go through all this crap again . . . so do you!"

THE END. . . or is it?

And just so everyone has a happy, happy ending . . .

That night Yue was very sick, so very sick he almost died, but everything was made okay when Eriol suddenly remembered that Clow *had* made a spell to make his guardians instantly better. . . this earned him a whupping from Sakura, and put him in bed for the next couple of weeks. . . which was fine by him because he had Tomoyo as his nurse, and yes. . . he did develop a need to be sponge bathed ever few hours. . .

Ten years later, Eriol and Tomoyo got married, Sakura, Meilin and Ruby were bridesmaids, Touya and Yue were ring bearers, and Kero and Suppi were the best guardians . . . Syaoran, after being kidnapped and hogged-tied for forty-eight hours, finally agreed to be the best man . . .

Sakura and Syaoran, who also got married, much to the annoyance of his relatives – but screw them since he's the clan head and he can do just as he damn well pleases - now reside in Hong Kong, but, because Tomoyo and Eriol are so damn rich, they all can easily fly to see the new happy Li's. Sakura and Syaoran now have six adorable children who they named Yue, Kero, Ruby, Spinel, Tomoyo-Meilin, and Eriol-Touya . . . Eriol-Touya is always referred to as 'E.T.' and rarely calls home . . .

Eriol and Sakura combined their powers so they could give Keroberos and Spinel Sun an extra false form. Keroberos now has one false form where he is a small, stuffed animal type thing with wings and one where he's a twenty year old, blonde dread-locked, beach boy . . . who, incidentally, apologised to Ruby for throwing his breakfast over her . . . they too are now live-in-lovers, although have no children . . . because they are magic, silly! And as a personal favour, Keroberos wishes it to be known that he is a god in bed, and Ruby wishes it to be known that she is one as well . . .

Spinel Sun is also with a human form, although he looks a little more like Eriol with Yue's facial structure, he frowns a lot and thus reminded Meilin so much of Syaoran that they have fallen in love too . . . they also happily reside in Hong Kong, and he is now teaching her the wonders that is the arts, science and opera . . . he has yet to convince her that sesquidelophobia or rather Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is actually a word . . .

Touya, Yue and Yuki are also happily married, although they had to go to Hawaii to perform the ritual, Yuki loved it, Yue hated it as the volcano erupted and it took him three whole weeks to get the ash out of his hair, Touya says the honeymoon was brilliant . . . and, according to a certain emerald eyed source who is very close to him, but whose name will not be mentioned as she fears reprisals from her brother, he hasn't stopped *grinning* since . . .     

Doctor Megalomania and Clow Reed are both now attending WBA –Writer's Block Anonymous – and have discovered true love . . . Clow thinks it might go somewhere . . . Dr Megalomania is hoping to convince Clow to create a replica of Yue for her . . . or failing that, giving her all his power, which would lead to her completing her goals of world domination, dictatorship over the universe and handing her English coursework in on time . . .

-----------------------

And Now It's Time For LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!!

DrM: Konnichiwa!!

Yue: Didn't you swear that chapter thirteen was going to be the last one?

DrM: Yes I did . . .

Yue: But?

DrM: This end-dy bit didn't quite fit and. . .

Yue: And?

DrM: I'm superstitious like that . . . thirteen ain't a kind number to me . . . pity me for things attack me on Friday the thirteenth!!

Yue: [rolls eyes, reads] what the hell are you on?

DrM: Love, love, love!!

Ringo: All you need is love!

Yue: I think we should make a run for it!

Sakura and Syaoran: Six kids?!

Eriol and Tomoyo: Sponge baths?!

Touya, Yuki and Yue: Hawaii?!

Ruby and Keroberos: [reads] Eww! [look at each other] EWWWW!!!

Spinel and Meilin: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT US!!!

Entire group swivel to look at them, group shudder and look away.

Firey:  I think I speak with the rest of the Sakura cards, when I demand that we have our own fanfic!

 DrM: And you'll get it . . . later . . . promise! [Turns to readers] I'm aware that this wasn't the strongest fic I've ever written . . . and it was kinda slap dash in places, but I'm hoping you had a great time! And so . . . until next time. . .

Yue-bella and Kero-ette: Make sure you join us in 'Whoops! Didn't mean to do that!!' [Kero and Yue's eyes bug out, they turn slowly to look at Clow, who shrugs]

Clow: You really have to wait and see . . .

Hei-ying: And if you'd rather read something a little more serious . . . come join me in 'In This Tainted Soul . . .'

DrM: But until then . . .

DrM, Keroberos, Yue, Spinel, Ruby, Eriol, Tomoyo, Syaoran, Sakura, Touya, Yuki, Clow, all the Sakura cards, Darth Vader, Luke, 3-cpo, r2-d2, the Beatles and everyone else: [join hands, and bows] PLEASE R&R!! ARIGATO AND GOOD NIGHT!!

Everyone stands on stage and takes a huge bow . . . and is transported about the U.S.S Enterprise because Clow wants to show everyone his latest reincarnation as Malcolm Reed . . . and then everyone sits down in a big love circle and Ringo, Paul, John and George leads everyone in a round of "Sakura in the sky with Syaoran . . ."