Doctor Who belong to the Beeb, yo.

Summary: Rose and Mickey talk after the events of GitF, and everyone learns that more has changed than just the tension in the room. 10/Rose, with a maybe-not-human-anymore Rose.

Mickey Smith sat in the kitchen, which looked amazingly human, for being in a time travelling space ship shaped like a 1950's Police Box. He wondered how much Rose had influenced the TARDIS, having so many human essentials. After all, it wasn't every day one found video games that hadn't been developed yet on a space ship.

And yet, those games gave Mickey exactly the excuse he needed to let Rose go. Just as he could tell that the Doctor needed some space to work things out, he could tell that Rose needed to be alone as well. He couldn't force his company on her when she was so out of sorts. It wouldn't be fair to her.

For Mickey, their latest adventure, popping into 17th Century France from a space station in the year 3000 to save the King's mistress, had been exciting and dangerous. But for the other two on board the TARDIS, and perhaps even for the TARDIS herself, it had been about so much more.

It wasn't often that Mickey saw the Doctor acting so calm and solemn. The Time Lord always covered any hint of emotion with eccentric behavior, be it his sarcasm from his other body, or this one's need to be talking all of the time. Actually seeing the Doctor give in to what he was feeling, letting it show so plainly, it made Mickey feel like he was seeing something that he shouldn't be. And if Rose's reaction to the alien's face had been any indication, it wasn't something unknown to her.

It was clear that Rose had some sort of deep understanding of how the alien ticked, and maybe that's what had made it more painful for her, that she actually understood what was wrong with him.

Of course, Mickey was much more concerned for Rose, because she was his mate, and at least he knew what was wrong with her. She'd smiled at him, telling him a little about the rooms they came across, but that smile hadn't reached her eyes, and her mind was left in the console room, he knew. He'd gone to the kitchen, thinking it would be the best neutral place to be. It wasn't the Doctor's sole domain, and it wasn't Rose's. Mickey put the kettle on.

He hoped, for all of their sakes, that the great hulking elephant of tension that had appeared almost instantly would find another place to hide, because as infinite as the TARDIS was, it seemed like each room was steeped in it.

His musing was interrupted as Rose padded quietly into the room. She'd changed her clothes, opting for a long tee-shirt and pajama pants. She'd either cried or scrubbed off her makeup, and if the redness of her nose was a clue, it was the former. Her hair was wild, but still beautiful to him.

"Oh, you made tea. Thanks, Mickey."

He nodded to her, and gestured to the seat in front of him. He poured her tea, and she wrapped her hands around the mug, not drinking it, but inhaling the steam. Tea was therapeutic, as Jackie liked to preach.

"Will you tell me?"

Rose looked up at him, a smile in her eyes, if not on her lips.

"There's not too much to tell, is there?"

Mickey sat down with his tea.

"I think there might be, yeah. And yer makeup's gone, so you think so, too."

She laughed a little, breathy chuckle, and Mickey decided that she would be okay. Not happy, not the same as before, but she would be okay.

"Oh, it's not so important in the end, I don't think. Cos it's not makeup that makes me Rose."

Mickey snorted.

"Of course not. It's yer mouth that does that."

She tapped his hand.

"Less of that, thanks. You remember that singer mum liked, Jeff Buckley?"

Mickey scratched his jaw.

"Isn't he that American bloke that died in like, '96 or something?"

She nodded.

"Yeah. Remember that song, Hallelujah? I was thinking about that."

"Sort of strange lyrics, if I'm rememberin' it right."

"It's not a cry you hear at night, and it's not someone who's seen the light, love's a cold and broken hallelujah?"

"Yeah, that's the sanest part of that song."

"But just think about it. Love's not some beautiful thing, it's not pretty and easy. Loving someone is hard, cos you get hurt easier, and ya trust them more."

"And you've figured that out, have you?"

Mickey's eyes shifted just a centimeter to the left, over Rose's shoulder to see the Doctor leaning in the doorway, his mouth hanging open just a little bit. Mickey decided that maybe the man needed to hear this. Maybe it would help them.

"When you love someone, it's so much easier to get your heart broken. I mean, just a normal bloke can't do that to you. Certainly wouldn't hurt a girl off the estate. We're a tough breed, we estate girls are."

"Tell me about it."

Rose sighed, not sadly or dejected in the least, but thoughtful.

"That's the thing though, Mick. I fell, and I fell hard, and that's saying something for me, isn't it? Cos I'm a tough girl, and it took someone special to make me fall that hard."

"I still don't see what you think's so special about him. Sure, he's got a space ship, an—

"That's not it, Mickey. You remember my old Doctor?"

Mickey had the fortunate timing to look up and see the hurt and guilt cross the other man's face. Good.

"Big ears and a leather jacket, yeah. I don't think I'll forget him anytime soon."

"Me neither. But the Doctor, he was… I'm not happy to say he was broken, but that's what it felt like. We never talked about it much, the Time War. I think it was fresh, for him. But he was dark, and broody, and it killed me to see him sad. So I tried to help him. I think I was silly to believe I could do that for him. I'm just a daft ape, after all."

Mickey saw the Doctor mouthing "no" at her back, and thought that Rose probably didn't know how much she'd helped him.

"But he was, Mickey. We laughed, and we joked, hell, he danced around the console. I… it felt good to know that maybe he needed me. It made me feel special, like I was doing something for him for a change. I was proud of myself, then. If I made him smile a little more, laugh just a little more, then I didn't feel so bad about leaving you and mum behind, cos it would be worth it."

"Here I was thinkin' it was the stars and the planets that made ya leave. It wasn't though, was it?"

Rose shook her head.

"No, not really. You were too terrified, back on that ledge with the Nestene Consciousness, but for a moment, just a little glimpse, I saw the Doctor, the hurt man underneath the Mighty Time Lord exterior. When he pleaded with that vat of plastic, pleaded with it to understand that he couldn't save them, he was hurting. The Doctor, yeah, the old one, his voice would break just a little, just a tiny bit of emotion that he let me see. I thought I was special, that I got to see that an' nobody else could."

The Doctor had raised his hand to cover his mouth and chin, looking for the world like he didn't know what to do. Like he was out of his league here, with the emotion and the human quality of the discussion.

"I think you were. You were special to 'im."

"Were, Mick. I was, then. An' now, I don't think he needs me. I haven't told ya about the places we've been since Christmas, but things 'ave changed. On New Earth, I got possessed, and he didn't notice until hours later. In Scotland, I got kidnapped by monks and chained to a wall with a werewolf in the basement, and he didn't know until Sir Robert told him. Then we met Sarah-Jane, remember?"

"You two were sniping at each other like the missus and the ex."

"We did, but we worked that right out. An' I didn't think much over it at the time, but it's cos we both know what's going to happen. Sarah knows because it's happened, and I know because I could feel it happening. She said he dropped her off in Aberdeen, and he never came back. He told her to not forget him. Fancy those last words, ey? "Don't forget me." And then, he forgets her. What a comeuppance."

"You don't think he's gonna drop you somewhere, do ya?"

"I want to say no, Mickey, I do, but I just don't know. Not after today, surely. It's not that he loved her, Reinette."

"He only knew her a few hours."

"Mickey, the morning after the shop exploded, he came round the flat, lookin' for that arm I had ya throw away. An' I followed him, buggin' 'im about who he was. An' he took my hand, and he told me that he could feel the earth spinnin under our feet. He said we were clingin' to the skin of our tiny world, and he could feel the movement of the cosmos. And for just a moment, holdin some strange man's hand in the middle of the park, a block away from home, I fell in love."

The Doctor had closed his eyes halfway through her speech, and his head dropped down at the end.

"So he fell in love with Reinette? I can't say that it's not possible to love someone in so little time, cos it happened to me, too. That wasn't the worst part about today."

"If that wasn't it, what was? Getting abandoned for five and a half hours?"

She shook her head again.

"No. I knew he'd get back sooner or later. The TARDIS was there, and she's all he's got left."

She smiled then, and it was the fact that she wasn't being morose or sad that made it truly heartbreaking.

"The last time he said that, d'you know what I told him?"

Mickey shook his head 'no'.

"I said that he had me. And it was, it was better with two. But now, I think he can do it with one again."

"So what's different, now?"

"I can't claim to know what goes on in his head, a silly ape like me couldn't fathom that, but I know what I see. Me and you, we almost died today. I almost lost my brain to clockwork droids, while the Doctor was out drinking and dancing. The old Doctor, my Doctor, he wouldn't have let it happen. He told the bleedin' Prime Minister's assistant that anywhere he went, I went. He made sure I was safe, no matter where we were, if he could. I was his first thought. Make sure Rose is safe, then save the world. An' for me, too. Make sure the Doctor's okay, then save the world."

"But not now?"

"Mickey, we were an afterthought. An afterthought after a French party. An' I know he weren't drunk, cos he can't get drunk, but still. A second too late, and it wouldn't have mattered. An' I can't help but think that if it had been my Doctor, it would have never happened."

"Cos I wouldn't have been there at all."

"Nah, it's not you. That's another thing. I know, you know, why you didn't come the first time round. It was still too strange, too alien for you, much too dangerous."

"I'd just blown up Downing Street, Rose."

"I know, but ya did it from yer computer, in yer flat. Us? We run with the aliens. It's a different sort of life, and I understand that. So the question is, why now? Eh? Why did he suddenly not mind if ya came along?"

"I'm trying not to be offended, here, Rose."

She put her hands on top of his own, eyes apologizing.

"It's not you, Mickey. I wanted you to come the first time, remember? But this, this timing isn't just convenient. Before he regenerated, it was us, better with two. Whenever we had a plus one, the Doctor would glare and get possessive. He practically foamed at the mouth around Jack. Jack told me that he warned him off of me."

"A bit presumptuous of 'im, wasn't it?"

"Nah, I didn't like Jack like that. Jack was… charismatic, and fun. He reminded me of the Doctor, but without the past to really haunt him. But that's beside the point. The Doctor wanted to make sure it was us, cos I still think he needed me."

The Doctor was nodding affirmative to that, which didn't surprise Mickey. It had been obvious that the Doctor had needed Rose then, probably to save him from himself.

"An' now he don't?"

Rose shook her head.

"He needed someone to understand him, to accept him as he is. An' for a while, I was that."

"But now?"

"Before we got taken, you remember that mirror? The one we left from?"

"Yeah?"

"I listened for a bit. He was in her mind, trying to find out what those droids were lookin' for. She backed up the link and looked into his mind."

"Rude."

Rose shrugged.

"A mind like that, she was probably fascinated with its complexities. But still, she looked. And she saw all the things that I'd seen, but she saw them clearer, cos she was in his mind. She saw his pain and his loneliness, and she accepted him."

"An' he fell in love. I thought that didn't bother you."

"It doesn't. It didn't then, either. What bothered me was that he finally realized that I wasn't special. Before, he'd always marveled at me, wondering how on earth I survived this life in stride, how I coped with his attitudes and his mood swings. He used to tell me that I was special, fantastic."

"An' now you ain't?"

Rose shrugged.

"When he saw that Reinette could love him, knowing all she did about him, he realized that it wasn't me that was special. It wasn't Rose that was capable of that, but humans in general. He doesn't need me specifically, just someone to share his burden. Before, it was me. I was so great, I wouldn't leave him, I wouldn't give up on him. I could offer him something special."

"An' now you think that what you thought was special, really's just something anyone could do for 'im."

"It took me a long time to break through to him, and it took Reinette minutes. Not only am I not so special, but maybe I'm rather slow?"

"No, Rose. You're better than that."

She took a sip of her now tepid tea, like they weren't discussing her shortcomings and self-esteem.

"Mickey, I grew up on the estate. I dropped out of school. I let my boyfriend smack me around before I left his sorry arse. I don't have any A-Levels, an' I worked at a shop. I was a nothing by Earth standards."

"You're not nothin', Rose. You've never been nothin'. Jimmy was just a really bad seed, and you got caught up in that."

"I let myself get caught up in that. See, that's what love does to you. It changes you. I thought I was stronger than that, to let a bloke really get me down. But he did. Jimmy got me down, he turned me into this meek little girl who needed him to survive. I couldn't live without him. An' he turned that against me and hurt me."

"An' Jimmy Stones is in jail, now."

"Good place for 'im. But that's not my point. My point is that I've done it again. I've changed for a bloke."

"A bloke?"

"That's all he is, really. He's an alien, he's got two hearts, he's 900 years old, but he's still just a bloke. He can hurt me just like a bloke, if I let him."

"An' you've let him."

"I've let him. I loved him, Mickey, and I let him hurt me."

"You say loved him, like you don't anymore."

"I do, oh, I do love him. Just like I loved Jimmy, even though he was abusive and mean spirited. I never see it until it's too late. An' I'm afraid that one of these days, he's gonna go swannin off for real, and I'm gonna die because of it."

"One of these days? It happened today, Rose. An' speakin' of that, why'd them robots say you were compatible? I thought the Doctor said that the ship needed her brain, and it had to be the 37 year old one."

Rose looked up at the ceiling for a moment.

"I think that I've changed."

"I know, you said—

"No, Mickey. I think my brain has changed. I think my body has changed. D'you know that I can talk to the TARDIS? I wasn't telepathic before Satellite Five. I hardly ever sleep, anymore. I run faster. I eat less. I don't know exactly what's goin' on, but I've changed. And I'm scared to death that I've changed for him."

"How could you have done it?"

"I had the Vortex in my head, Mickey. I brought a man back to life. I killed hundreds of thousands of Daleks with just my mind. I did it all so that I could stay with the Doctor. Who knows what else I might have done so that I could stay with him?"

Mickey looked over at the Doctor, who's mouth was now hanging open inelegantly, shocked. The Doctor just stared at Rose.

"Is it… harmful? I mean, you're not dyin or anything like that, are you?"

"No. The TARDIS says that I'm healthy, that I'm more than healthy."

"So what are you? Oh, sorry. That wasn't nice."

Rose smiled at him.

"No, you're right. I don't know what I am. I'm not human, that's for sure."

"So, you're not a human, and the Doctor is being a prick."

She shook her head and shot him a reproving glare. How could she still defend his highness after today?

"No, the Doctor is being the Doctor. This is just the new Doctor. I just didn't know that he'd changed so much. I thought that his feelings, the ones he had for me, I thought they wouldn't change. But apparently everything really does."

"So what now?"

"That's the question, ain't it? Do I leave before he can really hurt me, or do I stay cos I love him?"

Mickey looked up at the Doctor, who had a pleading look in his eyes. Pleading with him to convince Rose to stay. But Mickey couldn't do that, just because that's what the Doctor wanted. Mickey looked down at his tea, now cold and unappealing.

"I want to tell you to leave him, to run as fast as you can away from this blue box and to find some regular bloke and settle down, have a family. Dear god, I sound like yer mum. I want to say that, but I can't. Cos you're not that person Rose. You never were. My life, back home with the shop and the beans on toast, that ain't you. You always wanted more outta life."

"I know."

Mickey sighed.

"I think you should call Sarah-Jane. She's the only one who can really understand you, and even only to a point. If you went back to Earth, what would you do? You said you've changed, physically. Say you're an alien, now, or not human, at the least. Can you go back to workin at the shop? Nah, you'd never be happy."

"Would you stay? Would you accept a short amount of happiness, knowing that it's going to come crashing down around your ears?"

Mickey looked up at her.

"I kept waiting for you, didn't I?"

Rose dropped her head.

"I'm sorry, Mickey. I wasn't a good girlfriend, let alone a mate."

Mickey put his hand on hers and smiled when she looked up at him.

"Nah! I'm fine. We're fine. Really, Rose, I knew I never had a chance. I did it to make you feel guilty. I said the things I did at the right time. Don't think I didn't know what I was doin'."

Rose laughed at him.

"Well then, sod off, you."

"Too right. So, whatcha goin' to do?"

Rose looked up at the ceiling again, and Mickey noticed this time that she was probably talking to the TARDIS.

"I'm going to get up, pour this nasty tea out, and then get some sleep. After today, even with my extended resilience, I'm knackered."

"You're wrung out is what you are. Through the emotional wringer."

"You're right. I'm gonna get some sleep before I talk to Sarah. Maybe clear my head a little, yeah? Talk to the TARDIS about what's going on inside my body and my mind."

"Sounds like a plan."

Rose stood up, and the Doctor backed up a bit, not wanting to be discovered eavesdropping, apparently.

"Mickey?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Could you make sure he doesn't fall asleep in that chair? He'll get an awful crick in his neck, superior physiology or not."

Mickey gaped at her.

"You're still gonna take care of him, after the way he treated ya today?"

Rose smiled, it was real, but it was a bit sad.

"Someone has to, Mickey. I'm pretty sure that Reinette died when he went back, an he doesn't need to feel physically bad on top of being heartbroken. But I just can't— I can't do it now, Mick."

Mickey looked up at the Doctor, who had guilt written along the lines of his face, and watched as the man nodded once. He stared after the retreating suit a moment, and sighed.

"Sure, Rose. For you, though, not because I give a lick how that alien is feeling."

Rose leaned down and hugged him, warm flannel and hair and just a lovely hug from his best mate. He pledged to himself to watch her. If that alien hurt her like this again, he'd have to do something drastic.

"Thank you Mickey. You're too good to me."

Mickey pulled her away and held her by the upper arms. He spoke firmly but softly. He wanted her to know this more than anything.

"You're worth it, Rose."

Rose's eyes watered, but she didn't cry. Mickey figured that she was done crying.

"So are you, Mick."

Mickey grinned at her.

"I know."

She laughed, and left the kitchen. And now that Rose was dealt with, Mickey Smith had an appointment with the Lord of the manor. He stood and discarded the tea that had sat and gotten cold before following the path back towards the control room. He found the Doctor sitting there on the jump seat, staring at an envelope lying on the console.

"You don't need to say it."

Mickey continued walking until he was leaning on the console facing the Doctor.

"I don't?"

"I was there, remember?"

Mickey nodded and caught the Doctor's eye.

"But you didn't have to look in her eyes as she said it, did you? You could stand in the background and play the omnipotent lord, waiting to decide whether you'll acknowledge anything said or not. You didn't have her look you in the face, looking for all the world like she'd lost her best friend, which, by my approximation, she has."

"I'm still here, you're here."

"I'm not a part of this, Doctor. I'm a mate, but you're her best mate. And a hell of a lot more than that, though you've always seemed to be particularly oblivious to that bit."

"What is it you want me to say?"

Mickey looked down at trainers. He put together his thoughts in a way that didn't make him seem like a prick, but that would let the alien know he was serious. He didn't have a chance with Rose, not like that, but he didn't want her to get hurt anymore.

"I want you to say that you'll think before you go crashing through a window next time."

"I thought this time."

"Yeah, but you weren't thinking about Rose an' me. You were thinking about Reinette and Versailles and having to stop those droid things."

"They were going to take her head off, what was I supposed to do?"

"You didn't even look at her before you crashed that horse through the glass. Not a glance, Doctor. I find it hard to believe you were that cowardly before you committed that 'brave' act of heroism."

"Cowardly?"

Mickey caught his eye again, because the Doctor had a habit of rolling his eyes or staring away petulantly when he didn't want to fess up to things.

"You knew exactly what message you'd find on Rose's face if you looked at her. You'd see that she was hurt and afraid, and you knew that if you looked at her, you'd second guess yourself. Thing is, she knew it too. Rose isn't the uncrowned queen of anything, but she's not stupid."

"No, never stupid."

"And apparently not human either."

The Doctor got up off of the seat and leaned towards the monitor.

"I had no idea about that, to tell the truth. The TARDIS has been hiding it from me."

"Why would she do that?"

The monitor sprung to life, the text on the screen English instead of the normal twisted circles.

Because Theta would not tell my Rose about Satellite Five and the Bad Wolf.

Mickey looked over at the Time Lord.

"She didn't know about all of that?"

"She didn't when she woke up right afterwards. That kind of knowledge could kill her."

"But it isn't now, so why?"

The Lady Cassandra O'Brian Dot Delta 17 compressed my Rose's brain in the psychograft, realigning memories and tearing down artificial barriers that would have put too much strain on her conscious.

"Why the possessive article?" the Doctor asked.

Rose Tyler merged with my heart, my mind and soul. She is as much mine as I am hers or yours. She was gifted with the ability to communicate with me as a Time Lord is, through thought and perception. The Bad Wolf altered brain chemistry, enhancing perception in all dimensions.

"Is Rose time sensitive?"

She could be trained by either yourself or I.

"Why didn't you tell me? This is important."

You weren't willing to become closer to my Rose, out of fear. She reached out to me with her mind, seeking comfort and answers. I sing to her when her thoughts are frenzied, to calm them into a working order.

"So she's been suffering, and you allowed it to go on?"

Do not imply that I have been maltreating my Rose Tyler, Theta. That would be very hypocritical of you.

The Doctor's mouth fell open at his ship's open criticism. Mickey, sensing his opportunity, decided to see if he could ask the TARDIS a question.

"Those clockwork androids, they said that Rose's brain was compatible. She's not Madame de Pompadour, and she's nowhere near 37 years old."

The androids sought Jeanne Antoinette Poisson's brain because the ship was named after her. However, when stumbling on such a power source as my Rose's brain, they were forced to accept a better… upgrade, I think you might call it. Her brain would have benefited the ship more than Poisson's.

"So she could have died for good back there, if the Doctor had been a little bit late?"

The Vortex energy within my Rose will most likely hold back death, much in the way it will for our Jack. This has not been tested, but it by my estimation that before those droids could properly harm my Rose, she would have fought back using the power she wields. However, she has not learned to control that power, and would most likely have harmed herself in the process, a survival instinct left over from the human part of her nature.

"So essentially, if the lord and master here hadn't gotten his fake drunk act together quick enough, Rose would have suffered for it."

Correct.

"Your ship is more concise than you are, mate."

The look in the Doctor's eye said that he was well aware of that simple fact. Mickey leaned back and crossed his arms.

"So, what are you going to do? Because I guarantee that if you ignore this, and I'm not just talking about the "Rose isn't just a human anymore" thing, you'll lose her for good. Take it from someone who's been there."

Voila!

Peace, ♥, and Reviews