Previously on Rebirth:

After four years Bella and Edward meet again but under different circumstances. Edward asks her to be friends with him and thinks she is a relationship with Mike, finding out later that he was wrong. They go to a concert and Bella meets Tanya she is convinced that there is something between them.

After several days without talking they go to a masquerade and Bella gets sick, Carlisle and Edward think that she might have been drugged, and that the drug somehow allowed Edward to read her thoughts, only to find out later that Henry, a vampire from Edward's past was the responsible for her health problems.

Bella gets even sicker and obsessed about Henry telling Edward she didn't love him anymore and asking him to leave, but he refuses, once Bella gets better and Edward tell her what she said she can't help but think that all she said was a lie. Edward "hears" it and decide to put all the cards on the table, he wants to talk and make everything clear but once he gets to Bella's house she was not there. He followed her to the airport to find out she was kidnapped by Henry, who was delivering Edward a payback for being a vampire.

Henry then changes Bella into a vampire, but when she wakes up her memory is gone. Slowly she recover some of her memories, though none of them involve Edward, she can't understand why it is that she feel such an unconditional love for him, but in truth she just doesn't want to fight it.

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Chapter 19

Days passed and it was easy to readjust to this new life, I was slowly remembering things, they tried to help me by telling me multiple stories but it never worked, what helped was experimenting, like when I was being Alice´s subject for fashion experiments and I instantly remembered prom, it was a good day almost perfect if it was not by my broken leg. I asked how it happened and when they told me I was more than shocked. I didn´t think I could have been through such experience, I was also amazed, I couldn't exactly compare my vampire experience to theirs, I didn't thirst for blood, my "thirst" was for energy, but I could understand them. It was impossible not to love Edward, how he had put so much effort into protecting me time and time again, how he restrained himself when it was almost impossible, only because he loved me too, even when he left, he did love me and I could understand it now.

I was alone, the Cullen mansion was sadly empty, and another memory came to me, an empty house and there too I was alone, something like a whole build up in my chest, an uncertainty that they would never return. I sighed, how annoying it was not to remember everything, the memories didn´t have any chronologic order, they were just coming to me and spreading in my mind, I used my diary many times to help me place them in the correct order, but in some cases it wasn´t much of a help.

I opened in my diary hoping that this memory was registered there, but I knew it was a vain hope, it was part of the memories I didn't want to share, not even with myself. I have been avoiding reading all of it, I wanted to remember things by myself, I didn't want to ruin the "surprise". Today I was far too bored and far too annoyed to keep that resolution in place. I opened where I last stopped, the day I first saw them again. I kept on reading until I reached the page I was talking about some other girl, he had met another girl? Jealousy burned through my veins, the image came to me like it had never left me, her sculptural body leaning over him, talking close to his ear. I growled.

"Upset?" I heard a soft whisper in my ear. I turned immediately to see his perfect face amused by my frustration. His eyes were a light gold, his face a little flushed, they have been hunting.

"Not very much." I tossed the diary on the bed and threw my arms around his waist.

"Hmm" he mused delivering a small kiss to my lips. "Really?"

"Can I ask you something?" I hid my face in his chest. I knew I would be blushing soon.

"Anything you want, love." He said brushing his lips on my forehead.

"Did…" I stopped myself I didn't have the courage to ask, well in fact I didn´t want to know the answer. He tucked my chin with his fingers, forcing me to look at him.

"What is it?" He asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Well, I was wondering…"

"Yes?"

"Did you love her too?" He arched one perfect eyebrow cocking his head to the side, the cutest look of confusion in his face.

"I mean, did you love Tanya?" I forced myself to let her name out. He laughed I grimaced releasing my face from his hand. Before I could turn he already had me in place again looking deeply in my eyes.

"Silly Bella." He brushed my lips with his. "I only love you."

"But…" I wanted to ask more but he kissed me urgently, delivering the force of his love on my lips. I knew I didn´t need air, but I gasped for it. Self control around Edward was never possible. He slowed his pace, kissing me softly one last time.

"Are you jealous?" He asked, his voice amused.

"No." I mumbled

"Don´t be jealous." He said ignoring my answer and holding me tighter. I sighed, sometimes there was no point in arguing, especially when he was this close.

"Tell me something."

"Yes?" I asked

"What did you remember this time?" He pulled us to the enormous bed. Both of us lying on our sides, staring at each other.

"Nothing important."

"Bella, please, everything you remember is important to me." He pleaded his eyes burning.

"Well, it´s not a complete memory, I am not sure where I was it was a house, it resembled this one, and I was alone, it was painful to remember that." I wrapped my hands on his shirt pulling him closer.

"I am sorry to hear that." He said with immeasurable pain in his voice.

"It´s not your fault." I reassured him, but I knew it wouldn´t work. He´s been punishing himself over and over for leaving me.

"What else did you remember?" He asked. I appreciated the change of subject.

"I didn´t actually remember it. I cheated." I admitted.

"How?" He asked curious.

"Well I was trying to figure out the other memory, but I couldn´t find anything in the diary, I got annoyed so I kept reading until I reached the day we went to a concert. I actually thought you had something with her." He chuckled now.

"It´s not funny." I gave him a little punch on the elbow.

"Actually it is very funny love." He said leaning in closer, his lips brushing my neck my entire body seemed to melt under his touches.

"I don´t see how."

"That day, I wanted nothing more than to be with you, but you seemed to avoid me, I even offered you a ride but you didn't accept it." His lips now traveled from the base of my ear to the hollow of my neck.

"I wonder why." I said and he chucked again, his breath making my skin tingle. Two soft knocks on the door interrupted our conversation.

"I will be right back love, Alice needs me." I nodded.

I decided I should call Charlie, he was still a bit upset with me but decided to forgive me sooner, he was excited about my visit next week, Edward on the other hand was apprehensive, I couldn't tell exactly why but he was insisting to keep me here.

"Hello"

"Hi dad."

"Bella!" He answered excited

"How are you dad?"

"I am great, and how are things there?"

"Pretty good."

"And Sue?"

"She is great too, she is helping Jake and Leah with the final touches for the wedding. You have to see it Bells it's going to be huge." I could pick up the happiness in his voice.

"I will dad. I will be there next week." I laughed

"Yeah right, did you buy your tickets?"

"No not yet." I confessed

"You should do it today, Jake will be really disappointed if you miss his wedding."

"I know that, I´ll go today."

"Okay, I´ll see you then, Billy just got here."

"See you dad."

"Bye Bells."

I sighed, I knew I had to go there was no way I would miss Jake's wedding, he did so much for me, how could I not go. I also knew that I would end up in a discussion with Edward. I sighed again.

"Is everything alright?" He asked me hugging me from behind.

"Yes."

"Why are you so annoyed then?" He kissed my neck gently.

"I have to go t the airport." His body tensed immediately, he knew where this was going.

"Please Bella…" He pleaded

"Edward, you know it´s not something I have a choice, Jake is my friend." I turned to look at his face.

"Things are different now Bella, you must understand that." He said in a sharp tone.

"I don't see how Edward. Except for me nothing changed, and I am pretty sure Jake won´t find out."

"You are wrong." He stated.

"Please… it´s not safe for you to be around Jacob now Bella." I scoffed

"Do you really think I would do anything to my best friend?"

"That was not what I was talking about Bella."

"Please Edward, your arguments are just ridiculous, I don't see a plausible reason why I shouldn't be friends with Jake. I won't hurt him."

"I know you would never hurt him, I am more afraid he would hurt you." His eyes were full of concern now and I couldn't understand why.

"Why?"

"Because, love, he is not the Jacob you remember, he changed."

"It doesn't matter to me" I whispered. Another memory, another time when I had said that same phrase, and even being a completely different situation Edward's reaction was the same.

"He is one too isn't he?" Edward growled

"If he was one of us, I would let you go believe me."

"What then?"

"We are enemies love, natural enemies, he is not one of us, but he is a monster too." I stared at him in disbelief.

"He is a werewolf Bella. That´s why you can´t go see him. He will kill you." Shock crossed my body, and I instantly froze in place.

"Jake wouldn't…" my voice was small

"He will." He stated no doubt in his voice, he kept talking but I couldn't understand a word he said, my mind filled with pain, the sentiment of loss once again. This could not be true.

"When?" I was able to finally ask

"Right after we left, you already knew that, you just didn't remember." He said rubbing both of my arms.

I scanned my mind for any memory that could indicate that but I couldn't find it, it was not there, not even a hint of it. I was angry now, even if what Edward just told me was true, Jake would never hurt me, I would never hurt him.

"Bella…" Edward reached for me but I leaned away.

"I need to be alone." I said harshly and darted through the door.

"Bella." He called my name once more and aimed for my arms, but I dodged him again.

"Please.." I pleaded and ran out of the house. He didn't come after me.

I ran as fast as I could, trying to clear my mind. I let my legs guide me and forced myself not to think about anything, I watched as the leaves were tainted orange by the morning sun touching them, they danced as I swiftly passed through them, it was beautiful. I kept my mind distracted and kept my pace until I noticed the orange tint being replaced by a silver one. It was full moon. I came to a sudden stop finally realizing how long I have been running. Where am I? I thought to myself. I scanned my surroundings trying to recognize it but there was no success. I paced slowly now, walking among the trees, that's when I saw it, a little silver spot, far in a distance in the middle of a sea of darkness, well it wasn't dark for my eyes, not at all, but the difference between color tones enticed my curiosity.

I watched the spot carefully while walking towards it, it was some sort of clearance in the middle of the woods, anxiety grew inside me with every step I took forward. When I finally reached the border line it was easy to recognize it. It was our meadow.

My mind was being bombarded with memories. So many memories, one happy memory and the rest of them were nothing but painful. I noticed then my body crumbling, giving up to the pain, my knees sunk into the ground, my chest shook, my eyes flooded with tears and my heart broke in small pieces.

Everything was back in place, in my mind that is. There were no memories missing, no chronological mistakes. Every little detail was there. I thought I knew the meaning of pain, of loss, but now, now that I could remember everything I knew I underestimated it. My body ached and burned, and it hurt even more than when I changed, ten thousand times more. This was very similar feeling that I had when I last came here, before I left for college, the day I buried my heart, the day I decided I would never let go of him, I would never allow myself to love someone else, because deep down I knew, that I could never find a way to love someone other than him. I let the pain burn me, and rejoiced it, because it was reassuring. I knew I was right, I knew I had a reason to love him, but this, this was something else, something I couldn't put to words. I could feel now how much I really loved him, and for that I was grateful, I finally could understand why it was possible for me to love him beyond memories, beyond anything. Tears still ran through my face, but now they were happy tears.

"Hey" A voice called, I instantly froze. I knew who the voice belonged to.

Finally. Took me a while to finish it. I hope you enjoy it and please please review. More you review faster I will update.

Thank you for reading.