Disclaimer-If we can read this, then we most likely understand what is means: Not mine!!!

Um...I've never really written a -man Fic. So, I apologize in advance if there is something completely wrong! (Bows) Um, this is a YuuxAllen fic. Yes, love the couple. Its growing on me. :) Also! If you see any mistakes in the story please tell me so next time I write a story (hopefully) I can get the information as accurate as possible. Thank you!

Even if you can't see me, I'll be there.

Kanda stared towards the bright blue sky, noting the storm clouds just beyond the horizon. He stood tall and proud on the mountain trail that reeked with the smell of fresh snow and clouded his view. The sound of snow crumbling under black, combat boots reached his sensitive ears as the cold nipped at showing flesh. Kanda sighed an irritated sigh, seeing his breath condense and take the form of what seemed to be a small white cloud that dissipated moments later.

Black eyes looked to a tired olive eye that lost its edge from the battle moments ago. Red hair that was pushed back with a pale green bandana seemed to have deflated, along with the other man's energy. His shoulder's sagged, as if he were suddenly carrying a heavy burden with him. The apprentice had a haunted look that could not go unnoticed by the other male. Never in his life had he really seen Lavi look the way he did now. Why?

"Nee, Yuu, you think Allen will be alright back there?" his tired voice strained out, attempting to override the wailing winds that now cried with the pain of their hearts and souls. Both mentally prayed that it wasn't the cry of their comrade.

"The Moyashi is too stubborn to die." Kanda bit out, growling as his arms went numb, much like his feet that were buried in the one foot snow. Lavi begged to differ.

"Damn it Yuu! Allen was bleeding when we left him! How do you know that the Akuma isn't having its way with him?!" the red head lashed out, clenching his hands into fists that remained motionless by his side. Kanda's eyes narrowed in remembrance. When they departed Allen had just sustained a shoulder wound that looked as if it had rendered his right arm unusable. Even then, the snow white haired boy looked to the two with determined eyes. Even though blood was gushing out of his arm and his arm dangled uselessly as his side, Allen commanded for the two to go. He told them to go and take the innocence back to head quarters.

I promised that I would return and I meant it.

Kanda gripped the innocence that had caused him and his squad so much pain the last twenty four hours. So many lives had been lost because of this useless weapon; so much blood had been shed. A brief flash of the wounded boy entered his mind. He restrained himself as to not throw the Innocence as far away from him as possible. The brightly glowing weapon mocked the two in its container, knowing that they couldn't do a single thing about it as their friend was possibly dying. Kanda gritted his teeth. For a life to have been shed for nothing over a glowing block just seemed so stupid.

"The Moyashi said he would come back! You know the brat doesn't turn back on his promises!" he spoke out angrily. He wanted to believe Allen; he wanted to believe the other boy but when he turned back one last time to look, he saw how pale the other accommodator looked with eyes dulling as if welcome the darkness that would soon follow. Whether that darkness led him to mere sleep or death was left to the Akuma, God and the boy himself. Kanda did not want to think about a life without the Moyashi.

"You're right! Allen said he would come home!" hope welled up futilely within Lavi. He pumped a fist in the air before withdrawing it as a harsh wind blew about against his frozen body. "Who knows, maybe the Brit is already home?"

Kanda growled. It was useless to think that Allen was safe and at the head quarters sipping tea with Reever, laughing with Komui and Lenalee in the science room as the others would groan about their overtime. It was useless to believe that Allen was out of harms way and instead was warm inside the building with a blanket elegantly thrown over his shoulders and the steam of his warm cup floating freely in front of his healthy face. How could he believe the other boy was sitting down, now, with everyone else, perfectly fine instead of freezing on a damn mountain?

"Lets just go." the Japanese male grumbled and continued down the marked path.

Lavi nodded, and followed in the other's footsteps. The snow was perfectly leveled, no boulders barring their path, no stones to kick and no mountain walls to shield them of the wind. It seemed to be torture just walking through the coldness of the mountain, but he remembered Allen fighting in this same exact coldness. Fighting against a level three Akuma. Fighting while he and Kanda retreated in favor of saving this one block of Innocence. It seemed to be an unfair decision. A block of innocence versus a human life. And it was not just a random human life, it happened to be Allen's life that he abandoned to rescue a mere block. If anything happened to Allen, anything that could not be reversed, neither of the two could ever forgive themselves.

Blood filled his nostrils. His senses were shutting down one by one, surely and swiftly. His limbs ached and stung from the wounds and the cold. There was nothing to shield him from the wailing winds or the new snow that would surely bury his wounded body. Gray eyes saw the thrashed corpse of the Akuma that by now was beginning to disintegrate. The trapped soul whispered its thanks before flying to the place where it would reside for the rest of eternity. Allen hoped that he soon wouldn't join it as well. His knees buckled and sent his aching body tumbling into soft, cold snow. He struggled to keep his mind awake, thinking of the promise he made to Lavi and Kanda. He promised them he'd come home.

The snow dyed a brilliant red from the wounded exorcist. It seemed warmer now that blood had been shed upon it. Wailing winds continued to cry and moan as if signaling new prey for the animals that resided on the mountain. Allen felt everything go numb. He no longer felt the shoulder wound spew out blood profoundly. His right eye no longer ached as it did before from the over use of it. Allen felt light. Light and tired.

The black clothing he wore was torn to shreds. The sleeve was ripped off and the chest was torn apart from the demon's claws. One of his pant legs were missing while the other just had many holes in them and were wet with blood and snow.

A small shiver ran through his body; down his spine and down to his toes. The bright red snow dimmed, becoming blacker and blacker with each passing second. The once lively gray eyes hollowed, dimmed and then finally closed as his mind went black and his system shut down.

Here in the scarlet red snow on a crying mountain everything went black and suddenly… the exorcist was at peace.

When Kanda and Lavi did reach the told of the brick building known as the Black Order, they told Komui about the danger Allen was in. All near by pedestrians gasped once they heard about the danger their beloved teen was in.

The burette wearing scientist nodded grimly, beckoning to two close by Finders to scavenger the mountain and only come back once they found the boy.

"Let us go too Komui!" Lavi shouted, once more clenching his fists by his side. He needed to know if Allen was alright. He needed to know how much damage had been done and if…if it was permanent. The scientist shook his head, denying Lavi's request.

"I'm sure you two would not have left Allen alone unless you were injured as well." he eyed through thin glasses at Lavi's sprained leg, his shattered hammer and noticed the strained breathing coming for the stubborn boy. Lavi gritted his teeth. His wounds were most likely nothing compared to the snow white haired boy. "Go get yourself checked up, I'll send word if they discover anything." with that, Komui left, leaving behind an air far colder than the crying on at the mountain.

Kanda just watched Komui's back disappear with out a trace. He refused to acknowledge this overwhelming feeling that was coursing through his veins and wrapping its thin fingers around his heart. His chest tightened, his heart beat rapidly, his eyes watered up a bit before the feeling went away and Kanda was his stoic self once more. The Japanese glanced to every stranger in the room, noting at how different it felt without Allen to brighten up the gray halls, the dark rooms that were only illuminated with tiny candles. None of the faces looked familiar, but yet, they all looked the same. Sure a few stuck out here and there, ones like Lavi, Lenalee, Bookman…Allen. Once more the unknown emotion took its course and he feared that he would not be able to contain the overwhelming feeling. The damn Moyashi promised…his mind attempted to sooth itself as he felt the break down was inevitable. His soul was shattering and his mind was succumbing to the sorrow wracking his pained body. Never in his life had Kanda felt the need to cry, tears were useless; they didn't perform miracles, they didn't fix the wrong doings and the unjustified actions. Now…they seemed to be the only thing that would comfort him as he awaited the news of the let behind Exorcist.

I meant I would come home. I would fight to the end to see you again.

In the center of the room, surrounded by familiar strangers, Kanda had his face buried in his hands that were now wet with sorrow. His shoulder's shook, his body tightened and his breath quickened with each dripping tear. It hurt so damn much to wait for his Moyashi to return. He just hoped it wasn't in spirit.

"Kanda?" Lenalee softly called out. Her small, pale hands gripped the other's stiff shoulder. She found it hard to believe that Kanda was crying. Only moments ago, the long haired beauty had heard the news of her friend. Her mind could not believe what she was hearing: Allen fighting death by himself. Now she could not believe what she was seeing: Kanda crying for the first time in a while.

Her own tears formed in the corner of her eyes. She couldn't lose Allen. Death could not take the young accommodator. Not yet, not so soon. Her arms wrapped around Kanda and drew him into a hug. She pushed her tears into his black clothing and cried along side Kanda. She cried along side the Japanese for fear that her friend would never return home. Never return home and light up the dark hallways with his presence, never return to the lifeless building that they all shamelessly called home. Home is where the heart is; if Allen didn't come back, this building wasn't home.

Lavi laid on the white bed, recovering from his broken ribs, sprained leg, and small concussion, crying his own tears at the thought of his friend's death. If Allen were to die, it would be his fault. Kanda could have stayed and protected Allen but no, Allen said that Lavi and Kanda were to watch each other and return home…he would come back.

"I promise I'll come home, now go! Take the Innocence with you and go back home!" Allen's voice still rang clearly in his ears. He remembered the blow the younger had taken for himself. The sharp claws piercing pale skin with dark black pentacles covering his body. Lavi's eyes shut tightly at that memory. "I'll be back…I promise." His good arm rested limply over his eyes, blocking out the light like he was trying to block out reality. The white isolated room that was blank and bare welcomed him with open arms to the loneliness. If Allen didn't return then he too would welcome the loneliness with wide, open arms.

It may have been only a few hours, or a few days, before the gate was opened and Komui rushed with paramedics to greet the wounded Exorcist. The two who had to bear with the memory of leaving behind a beloved one made their way through the small crowd and gasped.

There he was, drenched in his own blood and snow. His body was unnaturally still and he seemed to be as white as his hair. The gray colored eyes were closed and covered by pale, cold eye lids. The young boy didn't seem to realize what was going on around him as Komui broke through and made way to the medical room.

Kanda and Lavi refused to breathe after seeing their fallen friend. The boy wouldn't move; it seemed to be that he wouldn't breathe as well. There was no life in Allen, just a body. The boy was stained with the blood and snow, cold as ice and still as a doll. The room suddenly seemed vast and large but at the same time small and chocking. Lavi let the tears fall, his mouth agape with wide, startled eyes. The Japanese stood stiffly, not believing that the young boy looked the way he did. Kanda slightly prayed that it was a dream and that the Moyashi would waltz through the door begging for food or throwing a shoe at them for believing he wouldn't come back at all. He wanted to believe that that was the truth, but he couldn't deny himself the reality of the situation. Lavi was crumbling, falling to the floor with sobs escaping his throat. Kanda couldn't ignore the situation because everything around him reminded him that it was all true. Allen had come back, but seemed to have only come back in body, not in spirit.

Silence engulfed the both of them. Only Lavi's cries echoed throughout the gray, dark room. Only Lavi's cries and the hushed whispers of the random strangers watching the two exorcists in the center of the room. Kanda gritted his teeth before lashing out: "Shut the fuck up! Get the hell out of my sight!"

Fearfully the finders scrambled away and once more, Lavi and Kanda were left alone, unable to do anything to help Allen.

I won't go down without a fight.

Komui gently set the cold boy down on the white bed, barking at the assistants for stitches, blankets, warm water and a few other necessities needed. They scrambled away at his will, momentarily abandoning him. The scientist stared to the pale boy, hoping that the younger was breathing. He prayed to the kind and loving Lord that Allen would pull through. He hoped, prayed and begged that the other would pull through. Komui knew, as much as anyone else, that if the boy were to pass away life would never be the same.

The assistant returned with bags of blood and his requested items. Pulling up a mask above his nose, they proceeded to work.

Kanda and Lavi waited in the same room by the door. Though the tile was cold and gray it seemed to welcome them happily. Both men sat at a corner of the room, guiltily staring at the cracks and waiting for their friend's fate to be read aloud. And in silence they waited.

"…Yuu…why did you leave Allen by himself?" Lavi mumbled, helplessly laying on his back with strained breaths as he remembered his own wounds.

"The Moyashi had a point. If one of us took the innocence then chances are they might come into contact with Akuma." the Exorcist muttered, wishing that he had stayed instead of following Allen's orders.

"But if you stayed then Allen he…he wouldn't be there…in that room." Lavi broke half way, crying once more at the thought of the younger boy battling death once more. Wasn't it enough that the boy lost his father figure? Did he really need to die at an early age too?

"Even if I stayed it wouldn't have made a difference. At worst we would all be dead but at best the Akuma would have gotten away with the Innocence." the Japanese hoarsely replied, wishing to turn back time and reverse the situation.

"Innocence, Innocence, Innocence! Is Allen's life really below that damn golden, glowing block?! Are all our lives worthless compared to that fucking weapon?! Huh?!" Lavi screamed, slowly sitting up to glare at his long time friend. "You make it sound like Allen is nothing." he growled out. Kanda snapped. His anger and sorrow was so blinding. The Japanese Exorcist traveled to Lavi's little corner and pulled up the other male but the collar of his white shirt.

"Don't even joke like that rabbit." he menacingly said. "Allen's life is more important then the damn glowing block we all fuss about. Allen's life is worth more than this whole shitty world. His life is even worth more than ours combined. You wanna know why? Fuck as if I know!" Kanda dropped the other boy to the ground, angrily running a hand through his bangs. Allen had always confused him, made his heart flutter with a smile, made tears come to his eyes when the boy was hurt and made him angry when Allen was treated unfairly. "But next time that thought even flashes through your mind, I'll send you to the same room he is in right now!"

The green eyed male nodded, agreeing that what he said out of line. Allen was so close to them. Right behind a few doors and walls. Those obstacles were easy to clear. However, the boy was at a place that both Kanda and him couldn't go, fighting a battle that the two couldn't fight. He was either on the brink of death, or already dead. Who knew when the answer would come and appease their guilt filled minds. Days? Hours? Maybe even never. It all depended on the victor in the life or death battle that the fallen soldier of God was fighting.

And if I do fight, I swear that I will win.

Komui wiped the sweat off of his forehead. It had been hours since they tried to keep Allen on the side of the living. In those few hours Allen had crashed twice. The boy's body was failing him, shivering from the cold, dying from the blood loss and a concussion. Right now, probably the only thing keeping Allen alive was his strong will to live.

"Come on Allen, everyone is waiting to see your nice shining face." Komui muttered, finishing up the stitches on the other's shoulder. The monitor steadily climbed, his blood pressure rising to the safe numbers and his breathing once more becoming regular. Though the boy had broken out with a fever, the scientist was proud to note that it was going down. "Come on Allen, win that battle."

An other hour had passed and only silence grew between the two. They sat in the respective corners of the room and waited. It wasn't until Komui had entered that the enchanting silence was broken.

"Allen has successfully pulled through." those words settled into their minds and their breathing once more became normal. Lavi broke out in a relieved smile while Kanda merely grinned.

"I want to see the Moyashi." he demanded, resisting the urge to stomp his foot for added effect. Komui nodded, pointing to the room he was in. Lavi just watched his friend's back, finally understanding what Kanda felt towards the boy.

"You're not going to follow them Lavi?" Komui questioned, raising a brow at the young Exorcist.

"I think Yuu has some private buisiness with the Brit."

I fought. I fought and I won, just for you.

Kanda entered the room and saw his fallen angel laying on the white bed, covered with a thick blanket. A small rag was folded nicely and resting on top of Allen's forehead with bandages covering the wounds that the Akuma had given him. The machines declared the boy was safe, though he didn't look the part. Allen nearly blended in with the beds.

Black combat boots inched forward until he was by the boy's side. Kanda kneeled, taking in the appearance of the person who was suppose to be dead. It didn't faze him in the least that Allen was suppose to have been dead on that cold mountain top. Not in the least did it bother him.

"Don't ever scare me like that again Moyashi." he whispered. "I don't think I could handle doing that a second time." Kanda watched the sleeping boy in awe. A fallen angel indeed. White hairs draped across the pillows, brushing across his pale face and moving slightly with every breath he took. Covered eyes were covered by soft eye lids and long eyelashes seemed to be lost to the paleness of the boy's face. It mesmerized Kanda, seeing the sleeping boy once more.

"Kan…da?" a weak, hoarse voice called out softly. The Japanese's eyes widened, realizing Allen was awake once more, he was living. The machines were right.

"Moyashi. You really are alive." Allen's brows furrowed, noticing he was no longer on the cold mountain top but rather back home in a hospital bed. "I…I thought you died. I was getting ready to slash anyone's throat when they brought back your body."

"Kan…da?" Kanda looked through sorrowful black eyes. His face once more, was now buried in his hands with his shameful eyes peeking between spread out fingers.

"I left you to die! You would have too if not for the Finders! And then what? Your life is more important than that block!" he cried out, tears leaking from his eyes. Long black hair rested and dangled from his shoulder, swaying with every sob Kanda made. Kanda felt guilty that he almost left someone precious to him pass away. He almost let the best thing in his life pass by and slip through his fingers.

Allen looked to the other with pain stabbing through his chest. He wanted to comfort the Japanese man. He wanted more than ever to jump out of the bed perfectly fine and draw the Japanese into a hug. But his body was weak from the fight and just even thinking about sitting up left him dizzy. "Kan…da." Allen softly called out, attempting to regain control of his voice box. "Kanda!" the Exorcist finally called out loudly. It snapped the other out of his break down. The boy smiled, slightly tilting his head to the side with flushed cheeks that made him even more angelic. "Its okay." he breathed out.

"It is not okay Moyashi! Its not okay to left the one you love die!" silence followed that statement. Kanda realized what he just confessed without his knowledge. Allen was already in the hospital for severe battle wounds, he didn't need shock on top of it. Instead, Kanda saw a wide smile spread across the boy's face.

"Love…me?" Kanda nodded, blushing from ear to ear. Allen's smile only brightened. "Love you…too."

The Japanese male couldn't have been happier at that moment in time as he leaned down and kissed his Moyashi.

Weeks had passed before Allen was released from the hospital room. Everyday he was there Kanda would visit him with chocolates. Sure the nurses had reprimanded him for serving unhealthy foods to a recovering patient, but he would not deny his injured lover food. If anything, it only made Allen happier to see Kanda. So on the third week Kanda stood on the other side of the door, beckoning to the newly healed teen to the halls. Allen couldn't be happier as he chased the other. Their hands slipped perfectly into one another and their fingers intertwined. Allen fought for his life, home and love. He fought and he won.

As said before, I apologize in advance for anything that is wrong. Please do me a big faver (other than reviewing) and point out what is wrong. If not, then when I do post up an actual lengthy story (which I plan on doing soon) it will not be correct. So PLEASE correct it. Critisim is weclomed, flamers, not so much.