Setting: Urahara shop just after Hitsugaya and his team have arrived in Kanakura to guard the town against Arrancar Attack
Written as a script.
Yumchika: Lets play telephone!
Renji: Telephone?
Matsumoto: What's that?
Orihime: (dreamily) A game!
Urahara: Oooooooo… Let's play!!!
Rukia: How do you play Ichigo?
Ichigo: Well you sit in a circle and you whisper dirty things to each other.
Rukia: (shocked) What!?!
Ishida: (sighing) You're explaining it all wrong. You do whisper to each other, but the point of the game is to see how much the message changes in one circuit. What Kurosaki said is a common misconception because quite often the result is quite, as you put it, "dirty."
Rukia: Sounds like fun.
Chad: It certainly is.
Hitsugaya: Well I'm leaving. We certainly can't leave the town unguarded.
Matsumoto: Awwww… Captain! It doesn't take that long… please? (pouts)
Orihime: Yeah! Come on!
Hitsugaya: (grumbles) Fine, one game!
Yoruichi: Can I start?
Yumchika: No! I want to start.
Hitsugaya: I'll start. (others protest but they back down at his glare.)
Ikkaku: Wait, I'm confused. We whisper dirty things to each other?
Ishida: (exasperated) No! You just pass on the message.
Hitsugaya: Lets just get this over with.
And so it begins.
Hitsugaya: My vice-captain has a permanent wardrobe malfunction.
Matsumoto: My captain has a permanent probing malfunction.
Orihime: Why lapped in fads remaining mobbing malfunction.
Rukia: Dry laps are mucking maiming baboons.
Renji: Claps are fucking claiming balloons.
Ikkaku: Crap is lame fucking ass balloons.
Yumchika: Ikkakus sing pretty fucking ass tunes.
Ichigo: What the fuck?
Chad: Ichigo, you're supposed to pass it on.
Ichigo: It's too fucking weird… (whispers) Ikkaku nabs things fucking her ass
Chad: What the…?
Ichigo: Precisely.
Chad: Ichigo's fucking things in her ass.
Yoruichi: Ichigo's fucking my ass.
Urahara: Ichigo better not be fucking your ass.
Ishida: (shaking his head he announces to the group) Ishidas are better at fucking your ass.
Everyone: (roaring with laughter)
Ikkaku: (with tears running down his cheeks) What was the original message?
Hitsugaya: (trying to contain laughter and failing miserably) My vice-captain has a permanent wardrobe malfunction.
Renji: Ah Hahaha… Priceless. I can't believe you actually said that out loud.
Ishida: (primly) If I didn't say exactly what I heard, it would ruin the game. If you feel the need to blame someone, blame Urahara. He's the one who told me that.
Urahara: (fluttering fan innocently) I said nothing of the sort.
Ishida: Well, in my opinion, it is the fault of whoever added "fucking" to the mix. It doesn't take a genius to realize that that would end badly. (looking around with contempt) Though we do seem to be lacking in the genius department. (this announcement causes Ichigo and Renji to crack up.)
Urahara: Well, then. Since Ishida seems so determined to find out who started this, lets take a vote. Raise your hands if you thought you heard the person next to you say "fucking." (Hands raise and Urahara gestures at the first person in the line to raise their hand.) I'm ashamed. What do you have to say for yourself Renji?
Renji: Oh shit. (Everyone mobs him.)
Ishida sits back, watches the show, and smiles because, in the end, brains always win out over brawn and "fuckers."
The next week he abruptly changes his mind when all his "friends" show up on his doorstep at six am in the morning to get him to fix their torn clothes.
The End