Author's Notes:

Hey guys! I know it's been forever since I've updated. I'm really sorry. I've been distracted by several other side projects that have been a major time suck. I'm trying to get better, though, and I have the next several chapters outlined (at least in my head!) so they hopefully won't take so long for me to get posted.

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Chapter Five

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Brenda heaved a long, weary sigh as she gazed up at the mesmerizing painting that hung on the living room wall of Colin's New York City loft. It was a truly amazing piece of art, probably one of Colin's best, but even the vivid purple and verdant green hues could not help lift Brenda's spirits. It only dispirited her more that she was finally seeing Colin's spectacular apartment but couldn't go past the living room and bathroom.

It had been three days since Brenda had shattered her ankle onstage during her performance, and even though the theater company was performing an "internal investigation" as to how the strap of Brenda's shoe had mysteriously been cut, the part of Jen had been passed to Leiah, just as Brenda was sure the conniving bitch had planned. There was absolutely no doubt in Brenda's mind that Leiah had been the one to sabotage her. There just wasn't anything she could do about it.

"This sucks." Kelly's groan interrupted Brenda's disparaging thoughts.

She shifted her gaze away from Colin's painting to where Kelly lay on his other couch, positioned cattycorner to the one Brenda currently occupied. The pretty blonde was gazing at her own swollen and purple ankle, her bandaging currently lying carelessly on the floor next to the sofa, an irritated and pained expression marring her otherwise near-perfect good-looks.

"Yeah." Brenda easily agreed, leaning her head back against the armrest, closing her eyes so she didn't have to stare at the same wall any longer.

"Explain to me again how we both ended up like this, Bren?" Kelly muttered darkly.

"I don't know what you're complaining about, Kelly." Brenda shot back with a little more heat and irritation than she had originally intended. Pain had a way of putting her in a bad mood. "You only have a second-degree sprain. I'm the one with the fracture that is going to require surgery."

"Yeah, well, you're also the one with the Vicodin." Kelly retorted. "All they gave me was some stupid Tylenol with Codeine. As if that's supposed to help me at all. Now I'm sleepy, still and pain, and grump because I hurt so bad I can't fall asleep. It's not fair."

"Believe me. I'd trade you my fracture for your sprain any day." Brenda returned as she gazed at her own ankle darkly. "There's a big difference between being out for four to six weeks and six to eight weeks. A sprain would mean I'd still be able to keep the role of Jen, not see it handed over to some vicious, back-stabbing bitch."

"I know." Kelly murmured softly and Brenda could tell by the light in the blonde's deep blue eyes that Kelly was genuinely sympathetic. "You were so amazing up there. I kept watching you wondering what had happened to the Brenda Walsh I had known in high school. You were always great, but now you are truly something else."

Brenda felt her cheeks flush with pleasure at Kelly's praise, only slightly annoyed that what Kelly thought still meant so much to her. "Thanks." Brenda mumbled, shifting her gaze away from the girl Brenda had once naively believed would be her best friend for life.

"What are you going to do now?" Kelly inquired, hesitating for a second as she stared at Brenda's ankle. "I mean, after your leg is better."

Brenda closed her eyes, trying to fight back the wave of depression and hopelessness that threatened to sweep over her, triggered by Kelly's innocent question. Kelly didn't know what Brenda had given up to be a part of John and Jen. No one did.

"I honestly don't know." She admitted at last, reopening her eyes and brushing away the tears that had begun to form in the corner of her eyes. "I haven't made enough of a name for myself yet on Broadway to be able to get something right away. Not without an incredible amount of luck."

"What about London? Could you return there?"

Brenda shook her head. "No." Came her choked response. "I pretty much burned that bridge when I came to New York."

"How so?"

"The Royale Academy is pretty much impossible to get in to." Brenda admitted, running her fingers through her chin-length bob. "Parents practically have to put their children on the waiting list the day they're born. Roy Randolph had some special pull there, though, and somehow he managed to get me accepted."

"Oh wow. I had no idea."

"Neither did I." Brenda made a face. "I was given the opportunity of a lifetime and I totally took it for granted. When I auditioned for the role of Jen, one of my professors warned me that if I dropped out, the chances of me ever being able to return were less than nil. But silly me… Thought I'd be such a huge hit, I'd have no reason to come back."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Brenda pursed her lips together in a tight line. "I'm not. Feeling sorry for myself isn't going to get me anywhere. I've got to figure out what I'm going to do."

"You could always come back to Beverly Hills with me." Kelly suggested.

"Yeah, right. And step back into Brandon's shadow after living in the limelight? I don't think so." Brenda shook her head dramatically then added. "Besides, aren't you here for the rest of the summer doing your modeling gig?"

Kelly's face fell and suddenly Brenda recalled a phone call the blonde had gotten the day before that her friend had not seemed too happy about. Brenda had been so out of it, though, that she hadn't thought to ask about it.

"What's wrong, Kel? What happened?"

"Brenda," Kelly began slowly, staring at Brenda with a slightly perplexed expression. "Why do you think I've been crashing on Colin's couch with you? The agency dropped me faster than a hot potato. I have until the end of the week to get the rest of the flat."

"What? But why?" Brenda stared at Kelly in shock.

"Well, to quote my agent, forgive me, my former agent, she doesn't 'have room for cripples.' Though honestly, I think she's been looking for an excuse to drop me." Kelly grimaced. "Her first words to me when she finally met me in person were something along the lines of me looking taller in my photographs."

"That's awful, Kelly. I'm pretty sure you could sue her for that, though. Don't you have some sort of contract?"

"Now you're sounding like Steve." Kelly chuckled. "Honestly, at first I was pretty upset about it, but not anymore. I've never really wanted to model. I was just doing it for my mom and because Steve had gone to such lengths to get me this opportunity... I thought I'd give it the ol' college try. Obviously, things didn't work out. And all because I was in too much of a hurry to fix the straps on my shoes... How could I have been so stupid?"

Brenda nodded, chewing on her lower lip thoughtfully. When she had awoken in the emergency room after her injury, she had been shocked when Colin informed her that Kelly was in the next room over, having hurt her ankle as well. According to Colin, when Brenda had fallen on the stage, Kelly had leaped to her feet as if she were going to try and rush to Brenda's side. Unfortunately, Kelly had chosen to wear a pair of excessively high heels and had not bothered to strap them properly, resulting in a rather disastrous accident, a severely sprained ankle, and a trip to the emergency room.

"Anyway," Kelly continued, running her fingers through her shoulder-length blonde hair. "I realize I can't live off from your boyfriend's generosity any longer and I need to pack my bags and head back to Beverly Hills. In fact, Colin told me he'd stop off at my old flat to pick up my things on his way back from the gallery. One of the few friends I made there already boxed them up for me."

"Wow." Brenda shook her head in amazement. She must have been more out of it than she thought. She had been vaguely aware of Kelly making some phone calls and having a conversation or two with Colin, but everything since the accident had been a bit of a blur. It was only this afternoon that she finally felt like she could focus on something besides the pain – and that was mostly because her Vicodin was beginning to wear off.

"I'm thinking of flying out Friday. I figure by then I should be stable enough on my ankle that I'll be okay on the airplane." Kelly summed up. "You should really think about coming back too. It won't be like it was before."

"And what is that?" Brenda gave a humorless chuckle. "Because Brandon's now been student body president and I'm a failed off-Broadway actress?"

"Bren, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I only got to see half of your play and I thought your performance was stunning." Kelly paused, glancing down at her hands in her lap. "Besides, you really shouldn't compare yourself to Brandon. Brandon is pretty great, but no one is perfect."

Brenda sighed deeply. Kelly couldn't possibly understand the strange rivalry and friendship she had with her twin. Kelly was an only child and never had to live with being constantly compared to a seemingly perfect sibling. Brenda adored her slightly-older brother, but at the same time she resented him. Why was it that he always succeeded in whatever he did? Why couldn't he ever be brought down just a notch, brought down to her level. Maybe then Jim and Cindy might look at her with the same glowing admiration they held for Brandon.

"Why do you want me to go back to Beverly Hills so bad?" Brenda asked suddenly, trying to shift the conversation away from the sore subject of Brandon.

Kelly stared at Brenda, her lips creeping up in a slight smile. "Besides missing my best friend?" She inquired and Brenda felt a weird feeling, hearing Kelly refer to her as her best friend once again.

"Yeah, besides missing me." Brenda replied a bit brusquely.

"Because," Kelly met Brenda square in the eye, "Beverly Hills is your home, Brenda. It's where you belong. I know things got awkward for you when Dylan and I began dating, and I'm really sorry about that. It should never have been that way. I've always blamed myself for you leaving California. Maybe if you came back I'd someday stop hating myself for it."

"Kelly, you weren't the reason I left Beverly Hills. I left to find myself. To find who I really was without my parents and my brother breathing down my neck." Brenda paused, glancing away, unable to meet Kelly's eyes any longer. "I wanted to see if I could finally forget about Dylan."

"And have you?"

Brenda frowned. Kelly was really the last person she wanted to discuss her feelings for Dylan with. Yet, she was also probably the only person that could actually understand them. At least somewhat.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to forget about Dylan." Brenda admitted softly. "Get over, maybe. Move on, definitely. Forget, never. He'll always have a piece of my heart."

"First loves have a way of doing that." Kelly commented. "Bren, I know I've never really told you how sorry I was for coming between you and Dylan. I never meant to steal him from you. Well, actually, I guess I should say I never realized I could actually steal him."

Brenda cracked a smile, shaking her head. Even a year ago, Brenda would have probably snapped at Kelly, refused the blonde's apology. But being in London had changed her, made her realize quite a few things. Primary among those being that her loosing Dylan to Kelly wasn't entirely Kelly's fault. It wasn't even mainly Kelly's fault.

"You didn't 'steal' Dylan from me, Kelly." Brenda began carefully. "He's not like a handbag that can be stolen away. And I never really saw him being dragged away, kicking and screaming… Dylan was never really mine to begin with. He's a free spirit that I don't think could commit to any one person even if he tried. I was lucky. He was faithful to me for what, nearly two years? But our relationship was too much for him. Honestly, it was too much for me too."

"Your relationship was amazing, Brenda. I saw how Dylan was with you and I was so jealous. I had never seen a guy actually care for a girl like that before. At least not after he had already had sex with her. You two were the real deal and I desperately wanted that too. I was just stupid and thought Dylan might love me a fraction as much as he loved you. I don't know why. He never loved anyone like you before you and definitely not after. Not even me."

"Well, I'd be lying if I didn't feel at least a little bit vindicated when I realized you two weren't exactly getting along very well." Brenda twisted her lips up in a small smile. "But I am sorry things didn't work out between you two. Kinda."

"I'm not."

"You're not?"

Kelly shook her head, a sad smile on her lips. "If things had worked out between Dylan and I, I would have never been with Brandon. Even though we're no longer together, and I doubt we'll ever be together again, the year I spent with him was probably the best of my entire life. Despite all our problems."

"I don't get it, Kelly. If you love Brandon so much, why were you even considering going with Dylan on his trip? Your choice should have been simple."

"At face value, it was. But it really wasn't." Kelly chuckled humorlessly. "I wanted to tell Brandon yes, despite the fact that I don't think he or I are ready for marriage. And despite the fact that I thought he was only proposing to me to one-up Dylan. But I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Remember when we forced Dylan to make a choice between the two of us?"

"How could I forget?" Brenda remarked, shaking her head. They had been such naive little girls. They should never have given a man control of their happiness.

"Yeah, no kidding. Well," Kelly continued, letting out a heavy sigh. "I couldn't help thinking about that when I was trying to figure out how to tell Dylan there was no one I wanted to be with but Brandon. You and I were close back in high school, but let's be honest, we never had the bond that Brandon and Dylan had."

"I remember how devastated you were when Dylan chose me." Kelly paused, shooting Brenda an apologetic glance. "And it nearly destroyed our friendship. I didn't want to see my choice destroy the friendship Dylan and Brandon share. I think your brother would have been able to bounce back, but Dylan…" Kelly trailed off, obviously troubled about something.

"You don't think Dylan would have survived the loss of Brandon?" Brenda supplied.

Kelly shook her head. "No. No, I don't. He had already lost you. He couldn't loose the closest thing he had to a brother as well. Me, I knew he could get over. But I'd hate to think what he would have done if he thought I had chosen Brandon over him."

"But does he know that?" Brenda pressed, trying to piece together the few sketchy details she had gotten through her various friends on what had gone down in Beverly Hills a few short months ago.

"Well, yeah. He'd have to know. Wouldn't he?" Kelly frowned. "I didn't really see him a whole lot before I left, but I sort of stuck close to the beach apartment after the whole fiasco."

"You were avoiding Dylan?"

"Both of them." Kelly responded grimly.

"Kel, you do realize that no one has seen Dylan since you told him you wouldn't go on his trip with him, right?"

"What?" Kelly's eyes widened in alarm.

"No one has seen him." Brenda replied. "At least not Donna, Nat, or Valerie. I could understand Dylan avoiding Donna and Valerie, but you know that boy can't stay away from the Pit for more than a day or two in a row."

Kelly's face began to drain from all color and Brenda could tell the blonde was immediately thinking the worst case scenario. Kelly closed her eyes, pursing her lips together in an almost frantic gesture.

"He left first." Kelly began slowly. "I told him I wouldn't go on his trip with him and he left… He never heard me tell Brandon no."

"So he probably thinks you told Brandon yes."

Kelly nodded. "It would make sense. And if he wasn't around Beverly Hills, no one would have been able to tell him otherwise. He thinks I told Brandon yes and then he left. God only knows where he went."

"Baja?"

"I hope not." Kelly's eyes began to fill with tears. "That's not exactly the healthiest place for him to be. Especially considering what he's been through the past year."

Brenda nodded, sharing Kelly's concern.

"Brandon." Kelly stated simply, raw pain shining brightly in her eyes. "Have you talked to your brother at all since we, uh, broke up."

Brenda shook her head. "No. Not really. He's left me a message or two. But when I moved to London, we stopped talking like we used to."

"Oh."

"Kel, if you miss him this much, why don't you try calling him? Tell him you made a mistake and that you want to be with him and only him."

"I tried." Kelly said with a rueful smile. "In Palm Springs. Or at least that had been my intent but he went off on me. We got in a big fight and it took me a little while to cool down. But by the time I felt like I could actually talk to him without exploding myself, it was too late. He was gone."

"I'm sorry."

"I am too."

"Maybe spending the summer apart will be good for you guys." Brenda suggested, though even she couldn't believe her own words. In her meager dating experience, prolonged absences from one another usually made the heart wander, not grow fonder.

"Let's not kid ourselves, Bren." Kelly shook her head. "Your brother is a great guy, for the most part, but he's still a guy."

"Who's still a guy?"

Both Brenda and Kelly's heads shot up at the sound of Colin's voice. The young artist had just entered the apartment, carrying a small suitcase under one arm and pulling along a much larger one behind him.

"Colin. Hey." Brenda smiled at her boyfriend, her heart flip-flopping wildly in her chest as he smiled back. There was just something about the way the corners of his mouth crooked up when he looked at her that turned her knees to jello and made her very thankful she was already lying down.

"Hi, Colin!" Kelly greeted Colin as she struggled to adjust herself into a more upright position. "Is that my stuff?"

"Sure is." Colin confirmed. "There's another suitcase and two boxes downstairs in my car. One of your flat mates helped me get all your stuff together. Hope nothing's missing."

"Thank you, Colin. I really appreciate it."

"Think nothing of it." Colin reassured her, shooting a warm glance in Brenda's direction. "Anything for a friend of Brenda's…"

Brenda felt her heart give as she locked gazes with Colin. An overwhelming desire to be alone with him washed over her and she felt herself begin to grow warm. She knew she hadn't known Colin very long at all, and only time was a true judge of character, but she recognized these symptoms well. She was falling for him. Hard. She just hoped she could slow herself down, at least a little bit, before it was too late.

Author's Notes:

So originally this was supposed to be three short chapters wrapped into one – a Brenda/Kelly part, a Brandon part, and a Dylan part. But obviously the Brenda/Kelly part grew into a beast all of its own and rather than hold that part hostage while I hammered out the Brandon and Dylan parts, I figured I'd post it. Hope you guys don't mind.

Now, I'm sure some of you are probably fairly steamed that Brenda is so blissfully happy with Colin. What can I say, I'm sorry? I'm still a Brenda/Dylan fan. I just hate thinking about Brenda sitting around pining away for him when that was the last thing he was doing. Oh, and for those of you who wanted Dylan to show up on Brenda's doorstep rather than Hawaii (I know this comment is a couple of chapters late), but I couldn't do that. I HATE it when characters roll out of one person's bed and straight into the next. Though I loved Brandon and Kelly finally hooking up, it bothered me in the series when Kelly went straight to him after breaking up with Dylan. And I wasn't about to have Dylan do that with Brenda. Bren deserves better.

Anyway… I'll shut up now and try and get some Brandon stuff written. Or Dylan. Though both parts are probably going to be shortish… (yeah… right…)