Axel works at The Food Place. Riku works at The Food Place. EVERYONE works at the food place!

(Well, not really. Just read it)

Contains yaoi and lemonade spillages.

--

.01.

Tuesday Mishaps

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A zit.

On his forehead.

Axel Hizzari sighed at the face reflected in his mirror. He was friggin twenty-two years old. Who the hell got zits at this age?

He opened his medicine cabinet, the entire contents falling to the floor.

Zit cream, it had to be there somewhere.

He cursed extremely loudly as the last remaining bottle fell from the cabinet onto his head.

"Fucking, fucker,"

He checked his watch as he squirted half of the now found zit cream into his hand.

8:30

He froze.

For perhaps a second, Axel felt panic, before he realised that he was Axel, and the master of charm and excuses.

The fact that he was now half an hour later for work, and not even dressed, wasn't a big deal. No..not at all.

He slathered his forehead with the cream.

No one even came to the restaurant this early in the day anyway.

Well, apart from the schoolkids, and the early workers, and the old ladies.

So, ok. Maybe people did come this early in the day.

But, so what? Like I said..c-h-a-r-m.

He walked into his bedroom (which was only a few steps away, his apartment wasn't too big) and pulled on a pair of jeans. ($70 black Diesel Jeans that set him back from a few cigarettes)

The restaurant didn't actually need extra help anyway. Riku (the sexy piece of ass) and Larxene (god forbid) would already be there. And if he was very, very lucky, the boss wouldn't show up today, for some odd reason. Still, Riku was left as the only waiter.

Oh well.

Reno had managed to leave his cellphone on the counter. What an idiot.

Fifteen minutes later and Axel had removed the zit cream (the 'zit' was actually a blemish, which made Axel feel very, very stupid), drag his red 'The Food Place' shirt on (the red clashed rather violently with his hair-which he had found enough time to gell appropriately), remembered his cellphone and cigarettes and gone out of the door.

The good thing was, was that Axel only lived a few streets away from his place of work, so he didn't have to drive(and given his current debt in rent he wouldn't be able to afford a car anyway)

Axel lit a cigarette with a click of his novelty sex pistols lighter and wondered why it was so sunny this early in the morning, had the sun even fully risen in the sky yet!? At this rate they were going to have another heatwave-which wasn't good as the restaurant had to start making smoothies, which meant people complaining about brain-freeze.

But, then again coffee was just as bad. Hyped up teens and yellow teeth.

Oh crap.

Axel had reached the red bricked building, the red letters of 'The Food Place' lit up by unneeded neon lighting.

That was perfectly fine. The thing that wasn't perfectly fine was that the boss's shiny, silver sports car was parked there. Axel slowly dropped his cigarette and stood on it, while working out some sort of ingenious plan.

Charm, Axel. Remember the charm...

Shit. Like that was going to work with the boss.

Excuse time.

Reno passed out so he had to take him to hospital, because he was such a caring brother. Nah, there was no way he would believe that.

His front door key got stuck in the lock.

His alarm clock didn't go off.

"Late again, Hizzari?"

Oh crap,

"My,uhh..yeah," he drawled in his Axel like fashion. "Sorry, Seph man,"

At this new nickname Sephiroth narrowed his eyes rather dangerously. Axel decided not to notice and walked past the man 'of long silver hair' [1] into the restaurant. The Food Place wasn't as tacky as it sounded, in fact it was quite high-end, although because it was a 'sandwich bar' they had to keep the name 'chatty' even if it was very much like a restaurant from six thirty onwards. Well, that's what Sephiroth said anyway.

At the thought of the 'one with long silver hair' Axel span around and wasn't surprised to find that the OWLSH(One with long silver hair) had vanished, he did that a lot, at least five times a day.

"Holy fucking crap I got away with it,"

Axel smirked to himself as if he was very important and proceeded to walk over to the counter in a very Axel-ish way. Riku was stood there, staring at the redhead with a rather expressionless expression on his face.

"Alright there, sexy?" Asked Axel as he tied the small, much needed red apron around his waist.

"Please, spare me the sexual harassment," said Riku dryly.

"But, Riku. You should feel honoured that I give you the time,"

"You give everyone the time,"

Axel laughed hysterically(and psychotically) and took his place behind the counter next to Riku.

A few moments of silence passed between them. Their relationship wasn't exactly the best relationship ever (Axel talked and Riku pretended to listen) but it wasn't the worst either.

Axel looked at Riku.

Riku silently ranted to himself about the way Axel looked at him when he thought he was looking.

Oh, Riku was a very pretty boy. A very pretty boy indeed.

His face was framed with very pretty silky hair.

And then there was his god given body. Axel had never asked Riku if he worked out, perhaps he should do it now-

"You've got a zit on your forehead,"

Axel narrowed his eyes. Riku was also the bosses son. So he had to be as nice as he could...

"It's a blemish, bastard,"

Riku snorted.

"Why the HELL is this place empty?"

Axel jumped rather dramatically. Even Riku looked surprised when he saw that Larxene was holding a knife. (She did that, sneaking up on them from the kitchen when they least expected it).

"I see you've decided to turn up," she said bitterly as her eyes found Axel. Axel looked at the knife and then remembered that two weeks ago he had accidentaly spilt a plate of pasta over Larxene. It would probably not be a good idea to argue with her at this present time.

"I only came up to see you," he said, smiling sweetly at her. She glared back and Axel was unpleasantly reminded of a large, predatory lizard. Riku had decided to ignore them and focus on the cash register(something which Riku does when he doesn't know what else to do). He only did this for two seconds however, because a jingle [2] echoed lightly around the room telling the three emloyees that someone had eventually come into the building.

It was a man. With red (chesnut) hair. And a red leather jacket.

Axel turned away from a murderous looking Larxene and rested his elbows on the counter.

"Genesis," [3] he muttered in an undertone that only reached Riku's ears.

"You take his order,"

"What?"

"You were late,"

"I took it last week,"

"So, I'll repay you,"

"Oh, how-"

"No. Just take the order,"

"But-"

"My dad's the boss,"

"Fine,"

They had managed to have this conversation before Genesis reached the counter. He was walking over very slowly with a dazed expression on his face.

"Hi Genesis," said Axel loudly.

Genesis observed him through his one and a half visible eyes.

"Hello."

Riku coughed and stared at the cash register, again. The door behind them which lead to the kitchen slammed shut suspiciously. Axel lent over the counter and smiled very fakely.

"May I take your order?"

There was a long silence.

Axel was sure he heard a cricket cheep.

He blinked, and then Genesis spoke.

"Yes please. Just a coffee,"

"Right, anything else?"

...............................

"No thank you,"

"Right. Okay. Would you like it to go or to stay?"

Pause.

"To go," Axel glanced at Riku before walking very quickly into the kitchen. Pahaha. Serves the grey haired golden boy right.

In the kitchen Larxene was glaring at nothing imparticular. Axel was going to start ranting about how Genesis never ordered food, just coffee which he could get from the Starbucks across the street, and not to mention the fact that plain coffee only cost one dollar so they weren't even being payed a significant ammount of money.

AND he could make a cup of coffee at his house if he really wanted it that much.

And then he remembered that he shouldn't actually be in the kitchen.

The coffee machine was on the counter, in the room he had just left.

He turned around again.

He swore he heard Larxene laugh evily.

Pfft. At least he didn't have to wear a chef's hat.

--

Back in the main room, Riku was handing Genesis his coffee. He gave Axel a very solemn look.

"You do that every time,"

"It's habit, alright?"

Riku rolled his eyes and busied himself with arranging the sandwiches on the refrigerated shelf next to the cash register.

And now, left in complete and utter silence Axel had nothing else to do apart from watch Genesis stare into the distance while he sipped his coffee. He also noted that Riku smelt very nice. But, back to Genesis.
"Genesis, I thought you were taking that out," he waited for a second. "Are you?"

"Oh, no. He's waiting for Sephiroth," said Riku quickly.

"Oh. The one with the long silver hair is out,"

Riku rolled his eyes.

Genesis frowned.

"Sephiroth's out,"

"Oh," he said quietly. "Well I will talk about the state of the world to him later, good day,"

"Bye," Axel and Riku said in union.

The door shut.

Riku shoved a cheese and tomato bagel to the edge of the shelf and then glanced up to peer out of the newly fitted glass door, Genesis still just visible walking down the street.

Strange man.

"What time is it?" Asked Riku suddenly.

Axel flicked his wrist up to his face.

"9:25,"

Riku frowned slightly.

"Ah,"

"What is it?"

Riku turned to Axel.
"Remember that Tifa girl?"
"Yeah, the hot one,"
"I thought you were gay,"
"Hey, don't get off the subject,"
"Right. Well she came in last week when you were 'sick',"

"I was,"

"And said we were taking all of her customers,"
"Wait, hold on a sec," said Axel, waving his arms wildly in front of his face like some sort of demented loon. "Seventh Heaven is in Midgar,"

"Yeah. Apparently the residents of Midgar are coming over here,"

Axel looked mildly interested.

"Tifa said it was because we stole her pizza recipe,"
"What?"

"I know."

"Fucking bitch,"
"She said last week that she was coming at 9:30 on a Tuesday to sort us out," Riku paused. "Which is today."

Axel suddenly laughed hysterically again (it seemed to be developing into a habit of his).

"What is she going to do? Fight us?"

Riku didn't laugh.

The door had opened.

A dark haired woman was stood there with a very pissed off expression on her face.

"Oh, hello there," said Axel. "Alright?"

Tifa narrowed her eyes.

"You must be Reno's brother?"
"Yeah, I am. Something wrong with that?"
"Oh, no, Apart from the fact that he gets drunk every night and then Cloud has to drive him back here," snapped Tifa.

"WOAH, PMT!"

Riku shifted uncomfortably besides Axel.

"Tifa, I think that you should probably go-"
"Yeah we don't have your figgin' 'secret recipie', so get lost,"

Tifa huffed angrily.

"How do you know I was here because of the secret recipie?"

"You came in last week," said Riku quietly. She paused.

"Oh, I forgot about that,"

Apart from Genesis (when the silences were mostly just annoying) Axel never really experienced awkward silences. Riku didn't either, he just caused the other person to feel awkward while he stared apathetically at the floor in his emo silences. But this, however was awkward for both of them.

Riku vaguely wondered if Larxene had disappeared off the face of the planet.

Axel was just trying to guess what bra size Tifa was-before he realized that it actually was an awkward silence.

He cleared his throat, glancing erratically around the room.

It was then that he nearly pushed Riku over reaching for a sandwich.

"Here, have a sandwich!"

Tifa looked reluctant, but then her stomach got the better of her and she grabbed it from his hands.

"Thanks. I was actually coming in to eat, you know?" Said Tifa apologetically.
"Right, yeah,"
"I mean. I know I came in last week but I was just joking,"

"Didn't seem like you were joking," muttered Riku quietly, unheard by Tifa.
"I think this is a good place. And yeah, maybe you are getting more customers but that's just because you're the better restaurant. Cloud's not exactly the best chef in the world-"
"Okay, Tifa, thanks," said Axel, furiously rubbing his temples. "Would you like a drink?"

"Orange juice please,"

Axel nodded.

Orange juice.

"LARXENE, ONE ORANGE JUICE!" He shouted through the kitchen door. He stayed there until he heard the clink of china and then sighed happily. He really should be made the manager of this place, for sure.

Come to think of it, did this place even have a manager?

Sure Sephiroth was the boss, but who took charge when he was gone, which was pratically all the time?

Axel was interrupted from his thoughts when Larxene decided to collide into him for no reason, nearly spilling orange juice all over herself. (Stupid Bitch)

"Clever," drawled Axel.

"Fuck off," snarled Larxene. She handed the orange juice to Tifa. Axel wondered to himself why he put up with so mcuh. All of this just for accidentally spilling a plate of pasta over her. It was pathetic.

"Oi, crab head," he stopped Larxene from disappearing into the kitchen. "Why? Pasta, that was it."

Riku appeared now, after showing Tifa to a table in the far corner of the room. The restaurant was slowly filling up and he placed a small notepad and pen in his pocket in preparation for the early-morning/lunchtime crowd.

"Axel," he said patronizingly, his eyes fixed on a greying man looking at the selection of sandwiches. "In case you can't remember your relationship with Larxene was exactly the same as it is now, before you spilt the pasta,"
"Exactly," hissed Larxene. "Don't go blaming the pasta," she paused, realising she was digging herself into a 'oh no, does that mean I don't have a reason to hate him, hole' and judging from the look on Axel's face, he was thinking the exact same thing.

"See, you have no reason to hate me-"
"The coffee spillage, remember that?"
"That was five months ago! I had just started here!"
"Fine. The hiding of the shoes, do you remember that?"

Axel rolled his eyes. Riku was now jabbing various buttons into the cash register as he exchanged money and change with a very hungry looking woman.

"Jokes, Larxene, jokes,"

Larxene stared defiantly at him. She kind of looked like a miniature demon. She had the hair, the eyes, and the red top.

"Wow, you look really hot today," said Axel. Not entirely sure if he was being sarcastic or not. Larxene took a breath, she literally looked like she was about to explode, although when she spoke her words came out in short, sharp bursts of angry Larxene-like breaths.

"I-hate-you,-you-redheaded-twat. You are a pathetic piece of lowlife scum who would benefit from eating a hamburger. Fuck off you bastard,"

"I love you too, baby. I love you too,"

She screamed (causing several customers to jump) and stormed back into the kitchen. Riku looked disapprovingly over his shoulder.

"Axel, could you maker her scream away from the customer's ears?"

Axel nudged Riku away from the cash register and gestured towards the customers sat at the table.

"It's not my fault the one with long sil-your dad hires hormonal loonies. Go take their orders, I'm not going back into that kitchen. Infact, I'm never going to eat here again, not while Larxene's chef. She might try and poison my food," Riku shook his head and walked over to a table occupied by two very fat men.

--

Sephiroth had always wanted to own a restaurant(sandwich bar). He eventually lived his dream when he purchased the food place. Then, it had been nothing more than a run down, unfurnished shit hole. And now, it was a run down, unfurnished shit hole. Nah, joking.

The place looked pretty darn nice.

The floor was polished

The tables were shiny

The food was nice

The staff were nice (that was debatable)

and perhaps the best thing about owning The Food Place, was that he was able to flex his creativity. He designed the menu, and the menu was what the people came for.

Oh, how he loved making up luxury food recipes.

He was also very rich.

The restaurant made lots of money, and he was able to buy very nice suits, which he was wearing now, in his office, which was on the second floor of the building. (Yes, he had used a whole floor as his office,)

And no one knew he was there.

No one knew he was there.....

--

"Where the hell does Sephyhead go during the day anyway?" Asked Axel loudly, while leaning agaisnt the counter in a highly provacative manner. Riku shrugged and handed a glass of diet coke over to a pretty blonde girl.

"I dunno, shopping?"

Axel snorted and even Riku smirked slightly.

"You know, Rikukins you can be pretty hilarious when you want to be."

"Unlike you, then,"
"HAHAHAHAAHAH," (there goes the psycho laugh again. Don't ask ME why he keeps doing it).

Axel eventually calmed down and glanced around the room. Many tables were now occupied, at this time of the day people actually sat down and wasted away their day eating and drinking the overly priced confectioneries.

"Who's that over there?" Asked Axel interestedly. Riku's eyes followed Axel's finger over to the table where the blonde girl had sat down. She was with a redhaired girl and two similiar looking guys with different coloured hair. Riku smiled slightly.

"That's Sora and his friends,"

Now, Axel knew this of course. Sora and the two girls came in everyday after school. Sora would bounce up and down excitedly, chatter away to Riku and giggle with the two girls. He was incredibly annoying.

"No, not your giddy little friend. Him," he wiggled his finger at the blond boy. Riku stood on his tiptoes to get a better look, the four teens oblivious to the fact that they were being stared at by two (well, one. Axel had quit) college students.

"Oh. That's Roxas, Sora's brother,"

"I didn't know Sora had a brother," Riku nodded.

"Yeah, he," he narrowed his eyes slightly at the look on Axel's face. "No. Come on, Axel,"

Axel smirked gleefully.

"Pretty cute, huh?"
"No,"
"Yes. What did you say his name was? Roxas?"

Riku sighed in defeat.

"You're not going to get anywhere with him,"

But Axel was already halfway across the room.

The blond was quietly sipping his drink while the other three chattered away nosily. He fixed his blue eyes on Axel as he strode over, little strands of his hair getting in the way of his eyes.

"Can I get you anything?" Axel asked seductively. Roxas waited for Sora to answer, before he realised that this waiter person was actually talking to him.

"Oh, no thanks," he mumbled.

He didn't leave.

He was just stood there with some kind of insane expression on his already insane face (seriously. He had tattoos on his cheeks)

"What?" he snapped, perhaps a little too rudely.

Axel gave the blond a very large smile.

"Oh, nothing. I just haven't seen you around before, what's your name?" (Hah. Like he didn't already know).
"Roxas,"

"Roxas. That's a nice name. So, he's your twin?" He pointed to Sora, who was still deeply engaged in conversation with the girls. Roxas nodded disbelievingly at Axel.
"Yes. That's why we look the same,"

*Pyhscotic laugh*

"So, why is someone as cute as you not out doing something else?" purred Axel. Roxas choked on his drink.

"Yes," said Axel knowingly. "Those lemons can get quite bitter..."

Riku wanted to face-palm himself (he couldn't though, he was just too cool). So far, he had watched Axel talk with overly dramatic gestures and pityful animated expressions on his face, and now Roxas was choking.

It was a wonder how Axel even saw himself as some sort of sexual god.

The kid was choking.

How much more worse could you get?

And yet, Axel seemed to be cracking jokes while the kid was dying next to him. And-oh. Yeah. There goes his new insane laugh. It wasn't just the overly exagerated chuckle, it was the way he threw his head back and raised his eyebrows so that they dissapeard into his forehead.

And then Sora was still talking to Namine and Kairi like they were the only three people in the whole world.

Riku knew some strange people. Some very strange people.

[1] The man with long silver hair: An annoying nick-name Axel developed for Sephiroth, telling himself that it was extremely funny, when in actual fact it really wasn't, at all.

[2] The jingle played when the 'The Food Place' door opens is a jingle version of the music played when Sephiroth fights Cloud in Advent Children (or kh2)

[3] Genesis is a slightly insane man from the Final Fantasy game Crisis Core. Yes, he looks good. Don't be fooled. He is PHILOSOPHICAL.

Review or I will eat you.