Title: Textual Intercourse
Rating: NC-17
Type: Yaoi, Crack, AU
Pairings: Ed/Al
Warnings: Written while drunk... beware! D: Elricest.

A/N: My friend gave me the prompt 'Txt Sex' and... this is where I took it. But not after first drinking about... 3 or 4 vodka coolers in rapid succession. Nothing else could make it less painful to butcher the English language like I had to in the texts. _

MtlMan: Edward
KtnLvr69: Alphonse

~~~;~;~;~;~;~;~;~~~

Ed laid back on the couch, stretching out and yawning. He dug his cellphone out of his pocket and flipped it open to check the time. A sigh parted his lips and he frowned slightly. Al was studying at the university and so Ed was left, bored, at their apartment for the day. Wondering just when Al would be home, Ed texted him.

MtlMan: wil u b home soon?
KtnLvr69: not 4 a few hrs, sry xoxo

Again, Ed sighed and laid his cellphone on the coffee table. He wanted Al to come home soon. Not later. Ed stared at the ceiling letting his thoughts bounce around a little, but they kept coming back to his Brother. Was there a way he could get Al to come home sooner... ?

A grin spread over Ed's face as an idea formed in his mind. He knew just how to make Al drop what he was doing and, likely, run home.

Ed quickly undid his belt and unzipped his pants, sliding them down just enough to pull out his cock. He wrapped his hand tightly around it, quickly stroking himself into an erection. Licking his lips, he tilted his head back a little and moved his hand faster, letting pre-come leak out over his fingers.

Panting and flushed, Ed reached over to the table with his free hand and grabbed his phone. He let his eyes close half-way and made sure his back was arched a little. His hand tightened around his cock, his thumb pressing against the head, forcing out more pre-come as he snapped a picture of himself. He looked at the screen and couldn't help but chuckle at just how slutty he'd managed to make himself look.

This had to work...

MtlMan: plz cum home Al

Ed sent the picture to Al and continued to stroke his erection slowly, almost lazily, as he waited for Al's reply.

KtnLvr69: O_O b home rite away

Ed smirked and put his arms behind his head. He could only imagine the look that had been on Al's face when he'd seen the picture. And he couldn't wait for what Al would inevitably do to him when he got home.

~~~;~;~;~;~;~;~;~~~

A/N: Blame my drunken self for Al's text name. Krunk gets full credit for Ed's name, though. Also, thanks to Krunk and Kang for teaching me how texting works. XD I've never used a cellphone in my life, so... I would've been boned had it not been for you two.