Present time

An alarm was ringing. I tried to reach over and swat my alarm clock to make it stop that annoying beeping, but I found myself unable to gather enough strength for the move. People were shouting, someone was crying and over all that I could hear one single plea.

"Don't leave me Emily."

Sam. Leah's Sam. My Sam.

Why was he afraid that I would leave? I didn't plan on going anywhere right now. My body was achy and sore and my face felt like it was on fire. Just thinking about the burning in my face made the pain flare. Somebody cried out in agony and I realized belatedly that it was me. The sobbing seemed even louder now that I was aware of my surroundings. People were pressing at my face and I wanted to open my eyes to see what was going on, but that little movement made the burning in face so much more painful.

"Oh God Emily, please be okay."

"Don't worry Sam!" I wanted to say the words, but my mouth was incapable of motion. Hot tears built up in my eyes, but the people, doctors I realized, were now wrapping my face up to stop the bleeding.

Bleeding? Why was I bleeding? What happened to me? Why was Sam begging me to live, to be okay? There was a quick pain in my arm that was incomparable with my face and then all my thoughts drifted away in favor of the welcoming darkness edging in on my world.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Two months earlier

"Emily!" I glanced around the airport in search of the slim figured woman that I called my cousin. A glimpse of her trademark black hair and I was running across the airport to leap into her arms. She laughed at my warm embrace and squeezed me tightly. I always admired Leah for her beautiful model-like looks, but now I grew an appreciation for her strength.

"Gawd Em! Did you gain twenty pounds since I last saw you or what?" I laughed openly as she set me down. Her perfect lips curved into a warm smile and she hugged me again.

"Actually, I was thinking that you must have been lifting weights in your spare time!" Leah grinned broadly before helping me carry my bags to Uncle Harry's awaiting car. The afore mentioned uncle was sitting in the front seat with a warm smile on his face. He popped the trunk for us so we could put the bags in the back.

"Very funny." She commented as my bags were packed into the trunk of the blue car. "I don't really have all that much time on my hands anymore, not with balancing school and trying to find time to hang out with Sam." Our black eyes met over the hood of the car and we shared a very female moment.

Leah has always been beautiful in my eyes. She is tall and shapely without being fat, her black hair drapes around her like an attractive cape, her cheekbones are high and her nose is long but not overwhelming. Her eye lashes are like individual feather dusters that carefully sweep across her face and remind you of her glimmering black eyes. It seems that even when school was at it's most draining, her love of Sam lifted her up and gave her this glowing presence that made me feel inferior just standing next to her.

"I can't wait for you to meet Sam." She said as we started our way home. She had set the station to something light and sappy that made Uncle Harry groan; I wanted to gag, but refrained from doing so for her sake. If I was as lovesick as Leah is now, I would like others to refrain from bursting my bubble as well. I smiled brightly at her and tucked a strand of hair behind an ear.

"I can't wait to meet him either. He sounds wonderful from the way you talk about him." Leah laughed lightly. Her laugh always had the capability to bring a smile to my face and I couldn't help but laugh with her.

"I know you're going to love him Emily." A soft, vulnerable look filled her eyes, "He's everything I've ever wanted." She took my hand and my heart swelled with the raw emotion I saw in her eyes. "I'm so glad you managed to steal some time away from the Makah rez to come down here and visit!"

We laughed joyfully in that moment before lapsing back into small talk about Sam, freshman year of college and life in general. It made me so happy to see Leah like this. I don't think anything could have taken away that love in her eyes just then, and I could have never dreamed that it was me who would take it all away.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Present time

I slowly awoke to the sun shining in my face. I wanted to grab my pillow and cover my face with it, wanted to go back to sleep and never wake up. I made a move to turn on my right side but burning pain made me reel back in my bed with a scream hanging on the edge of my lips.

"Don't move Emily! You'll hurt yourself!" I gasped and gripped at my sheets. Would the pain ever fade? The person at my side choked back a sob before grasping my hand. "God Emily, you gotta get better. You gotta be okay."

The voice registered in my mind. It was Sam. Leah's Sam. My Sam. Deja vu made me swim in a sea of confusion for a brief moment as I recalled words very similar to that being spoken in the heat of the moment.

"Go 'way Sam." I whispered, my voice a rough croak. My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton and my face felt incredibly swollen, but I had to make him go. "G' back t' Leah."

"Leah doesn't need me right now, you do." His voice sounded dejected and raw. I cracked open my left eye and caught a brief glance of him wiping tears away furiously.

"Leah's always gon' need you, ya jerk." I turned away from him and tried to fight back tears of my own.

"Please Emily, please forgive me. I couldn't bear it if you hated me." I wanted to scream at him, wanted to tell him that it would serve his traitorous ass right if I hated him. But I couldn't; I could never lie to him like that, because some part of me was a traitor to Leah as well. I was many things: a traitor, a liar, a heart breaker, but I could never be a hypocrite. Not to Leah, not to him and not to myself. I wanted to cry, but I knew the burning in my face would come back if I did.

"Please Sam, jus' go 'way." I could hear him shifting around in his chair, trying to decide which course of action to take. In the end, it didn't matter if he stayed or if he left, because I was tired again and the darkness welcomed be back.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Two months ago

"Would you like something to drink Emily?" Aunt Sue asked as she entered the kitchen with me and Leah trailing behind like ducklings.

"No thanks." I answered as I followed Leah to her room. I was thankful that she was willing to share her room with me, but I suppose after being such close friends and cousins all these years had lent an easy comraderie between us. As we passed through the hallway, I glanced at each individual picture in my eagerness to absorb everything I could about the time that I was not here in La Push.

"Is this him?" I asked as I saw a picture of a handsome man on Leah's bed side table. When she nodded, I picked it up to observe him closer. He was beyond tall with the typical black Quileute hair and brown eyes. His skin was the loveliest shade of russet brown like Leah that made me jealous. My own skin was a lighter shade of copper that seemed almost albino compared with them.

"Goodness Leah, he's gorgeous!" She laughed at me before stealing the picture from my hands. She set it carefully on the table again and smiled so fondly that my heart wanted to break at her expression. My own heart ached for someone to call my own, but if that person had the capability to turn me to mush, maybe I shouldn't be so eager.

"You'll get to meet him tomorrow, I told him to stay away so you could have me to yourself today." She smirked in such a way that I knew that if he was here, her attention would be completely absorbed by the beautiful man.

"Hey Lee Lee!" Seth, Leah's younger brother came running around the corner and slid into her room. His youthful exuberance was enough to wear me out just watching him. He grinned at me when he realized I was in the room as well. "Oh hey Emily! When'd you get here?" He questioned me but didn't wait for an answer as he continued to talk to Leah. "Your boyfriend is on the phone!" Leah had lept off the bed and was on her way to the living room before he could finish his sentence. Me and Seth shared an amused look before following after the excited woman.

"Hey Sam!" Leah greeted her fiancee on the other line; her face was stretched wide with a smile. "Yeah, that's a great idea! No, don't be ridiculous." She laughed; it was a delightful sound that made me grin as well. Seth looked like he was going to be sick from observing her and I laughed at him as well. He stuck his tongue out at me and I ruffled his hair. "I'll see you then, I love you. Bye." She hung up the phone and sighed. I rolled my eyes and gave her a questioning look before speaking.

"So...?" Leah grabbed my hand and led me back to her bedroom. She closed the door on poor Seth before yelling at him to go play through the door.

"Sam thinks it would be a good idea to go for a picnic tomorrow. So me and you can watch him go cliff diving." She seemed thrilled at the prospect of seeing him in a state of undress so I shook my head and laughed.

"Whatever you say Leah."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Present time

"Wake up Emily, you're dreaming." Someone was trying to gently shake me, so I obligingly opened my left eye to see who it was. I was surprised to see Leah standing at my bed side with a cautious look on her face.

"Leah." I gasped out her name like a prayer. I hadn't seen her in so long and I couldn't blame her for the distance. She pursed her lips and sat down beside me. Her eyes were guarded and her stance was tense. "I'm sorry," It was the first thing that came to mind, so I said it.

"Whatever." She said. She looked extremely uncomfortable being in my presence and I wanted to cry for the loss of our familiarity.

"For what it's worth, I never meant..." I couldn't speak because my throat choked up with restrained emotion. She began to shake her head and rose from the chair.

"Don't Emily, just don't." I wanted to explain everything to her, but there were limits to what I could say and even more things that would just cause more hurt than necessary. I began to cry then, my right eye was partially covered by a bandage and when the tears leaked out of it, the salty water seeped into my bandages. All the years we had spent building up a close friendship seemed to crack at this latest pressure, and I wondered if we would ever repair our relationship.

"I'm so sorry," I gasped out. The tears continued to fall in earnest and even as she left my room with tears in her own eyes I apologized. "I'm so sorry!"

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Two months earlier

"Where did you get that dress?" Leah asked as I exited the bathroom. I stroked the soft yellow dress with fondness.

"A little mom and pop store in Port Angeles." I sat beside my cousin and watched her brush her hair. I couldn't resist the urge to touch her hair, so I reached out and twined one long lock of that black wave around my finger.

"What are y.." She trailed off and watched me with an amused expression. She handed me the brush with a resigned expression on her face and allowed me to finish the job. I enjoyed brushing her hair, I always used to do it when we were children. It seems that age didn't steal away this particular pleasure.

"So where are we having this picnic?" I questioned as I finished the job. Leah rose and slipped into a pair of cute blue flats that matched her shirt.

"First Beach." She said as explaination before leading me out of the house. We slipped into Uncle Harry's car and left without anymore words. Chief Swan had picked up Uncle Harry earlier so they could go fishing, so me and Leah had the car to ourselves for the day.

"And where is this mysterious First Beach?" I asked her as we cruised down the open road.

"Next to a cliff." Leah's coy attitude was slightly annoying, but more endearing than anything else. I laughed before switching on the radio to something more enjoyable than the love songs of yesterday and today.

The ride was over before I knew it. Leah parked the blue car in a small parking lot that was empty. I wondered briefly if Sam was here yet before climbing out of the vehicle. We walked across the beach, talking to each other in excited voices. Leah was carrying our basket of goodies that both I and Aunt Sue had prepared earlier. Apparently Sam was a weakling when it came to homecooked meals, so for Leah's sake I baked some banana nut muffins. Seth had sighed dreamily when he had gotten one so we all assumed they were good.

"Sam!" Leah called out to someone. I glanced around and didn't see anyone, but when I raised my gaze to see the cliff in front of us, I saw a lone figure wave briefly before tossing itself off the edge. I choked back a scream and remembered what Leah had said yesterday. Sam enjoyed cliff diving. I thought it was a crazy hobby, but whatever floats his boat.

As we passed by a rock, we saw Sam's towel sitting on it. Me and Leah shared a mischevious look before we snatched the towel and started running up the cliff. We laughed to ourselves when we finally made our way to the blanket that he had set out earlier. We hid the towel behind one of the many large rocks and sat down, pretending innocence. When we heard a confused shout, we couldn't restrain our giggles. Leah looked delightfully pleased and I realized that she had stolen his jeans as well. I laughed at her expression before setting out some food.

"Leah!" Sam called out her name as he trudged the last few steps up the cliff. I didn't look up for fear that he wouldn't have much on. My cousin looked love struck and foolish, but I kept my thoughts to myself. She held his jeans in one hand as she rose to meet him. He stepped forward to take them from her and I caught a glimpse of strong legs. His calves were clearly defined and his thighs were as well. I blushed and lowered my gaze again; it wouldn't do well for me to be caught checking out Leah's fiancee.

"Give me that you tease." He commanded as Leah danced out of his grasp. I admired my cousin's gracefulness and chewed a bite of a muffin thoughtfully. Sam was good for her, he put a light in her eyes that no one else ever could. I laughed when Leah escaped Sam's clutches, making him slip on some mud and land on his rear end. I seemed to have caught his attention with my laughter and he turned brown eyes to meet my black ones.

His jokingly frustrated expression left his face, his brown eyes went wide. His shapely lips opened as he gazed at me as though he had never seen a woman before. I felt suddenly self conscious under his scrutiny, so I smoothed out my dress and brushed off some crumbs. I turned to look at him again and he still had not removed his gaze. My eyes unconsciously trailed lower and I admired his broad shoulders and powerful chest. Muscles rippled through his body and I bit my lip. I turned away again, trying to give him the hint that his obvious scrutiny was unnerving.

"Sam, do you want your towel or not?" Leah was irritated and rightly so. Sam seemed to be shocked out of his staring when she tapped him on the shoulder. He took his jeans and his towel from her gratefully and proceeded to dry himself off. Even as Leah took a seat beside me, he was still glancing at me.

"Why is he acting so weird?" I questioned her, wondering if this was a normal response from him. Leah's expression was hard and uncomfortable, so I shut up and continued to eat my muffin.

"I'm Sam." I was surprised to hear his voice so close to me, so I jumped slightly and turned to look at him again. He seemed abashed to have surprised me and the look of adoration in his eyes made me surpremely uncomfortable.

"Emily." I responded in a whisper, the last thing I wanted to do was encourage his behavior.

We all sat in a stilted silence for a long time. The day had started out bright and exciting, but now it faded in light of Sam's strange behavior. Leah was tense at my left and Sam was love struck at my right.

"Love struck!" I thought to myself. It explained everything, but it made no sense in context. We had just met, he was engaged to my cousin and did I mention that we just met? I couldn't stand the awkward silence anymore, so I rose and brushed myself off. Sam rose beside me, but I motioned for him to sit down.

"I think I'm going to go for a walk, why don't you two stay and talk for a while. I think you could use it." Sam looked as though he might protest my suggestion, but a conflicted look entered his eyes. He seemed caught between myself and Leah. I gave him a pointed stare to silently communicate my wish for him to stay.

As I walked away, I knew deep in my heart that something was very wrong. Yet, in spite of Leah's obvious hurt and my own discomfort at Sam obvious staring, I felt strangely complimented by his attention. A spark of something traitorous began to burn in my heart and I did nothing to quench it.