CAUTION: In case you missed it in the summary, there's some Shakespearean comedy-level incest going on here. It's all meant to be funny and will not resolve seriously, but if that sort of thing disturbs you, hit the back button right now.

It all started with his rescue of his mother from that one splicer she'd dated, Noah. His life had been very complicated before, what with the demands of school, friends, family, and the cowl vying for his time, but he hadn't known what the military acronym "FUBAR" – something he heard Bruce mutter once or twice on dire occasions – meant. His life suddenly had a new wrench thrown into it, and even having had the experiences he'd had – smothered by black blobs, deafened by sound blasts, nearly irradiated by micronuclear bursts – Terry could easily say it was the most frightening thing he'd ever faced.

Correction: it all started after he'd rescued his mother.

She began to follow news of Gotham's Tomorrow Knight, Batman. This, at first, rang no alarms in Terry's head; she'd been rescued by the man, so of course she'd be interested in him, especially after she'd admitted to thinking he was schway, by Terry's questioning. That changed soon enough. The young man had come home one day from school, beat from a test that tried its hardest to beat him harder than any villain he'd come across, and collapsed on the sofa. The news was on; a recap of the adventures of Batman from the previous night – stopping a breakout by Ma Mayhem – droned on in his ears. He'd just been about to doze off when he heard something, barely audible, that nevertheless jolted him awake like Shriek's most obnoxious sound blasts.

His mother had sighed softly at Batman's interview. In a swooning sort of way.

He bolted up so fast that he tumbled into an incoherent pile of Terry on the floor.

"Terry? Are you okay?" she asked, broken from her dreamy state by her concern for her often quirky son.

"Y-yeah I-I-I'm okay," he stuttered while his brain screamed NO THE HECK I'M NOT and ran around in frenzied circles. Using all the will required of a Batman, he calmed the speaking part of his brain down enough to manage, "I'm just a little tired, that's all."

Mary McGinnis sighed, giving him an all too familiar look of pity mixed with disdain meant for someone else. "Mr. Wayne works you far, far too hard. You need to take a rest." She approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder – a hand he suddenly felt very uncomfortable with anywhere on him.

"Uh, um..."

Suddenly, the phone rang, and Terry heaved a sigh of relief; he had never been more grateful for a call from his employer. Within minutes, he was out of the house and at the Batcave, repeating in his head, That was all in my imagination, and I'm sleep deprived, hence the imagination. My mother does not like Batman that way. She doesn't. She doesn't. Doesn't doesn't doesn't doesn't –

Bruce, of course, noticed immediately that something was on the mind of his protégé, and asked what was wrong while Terry donned the Batsuit, focusing on everything possible but the notion that his mother liked the persona he donned with it.

"Um..." He pondered what to say, eventually deciding that since Bruce Wayne was a master detective, there was no use attempting to hide everything from him. That said, there was no reason to spill the squirmy guts of his problem out, either. "Have you ever had someone you saved fall for Batman?"

Bruce eyed him with a quirked eyebrow. "It's not an uncommon occurrence. Why do you ask?"

"Ah, no particular reason," Terry replied, pulling the cowl over his head and cringing inwardly at how the simple action might result a very different sort of love than maternal from his mother.

"...If you say so." With those curt words, the former Batman turned back to the computer, and the subject matter was dropped. However, being that he was one Terrence McGinnis, Batman, life never threw him a bone; while he continued his escapades, his mother continued her fawning.

Finally, he could take no more of how utterly squick the situation was, and confronted her about her unhealthy interest in Batman.

"Mom?" he queried into the living room, feeling a wiggly worm writhing about in him before even starting what he expected to be one of the most disturbing conversations ever held in history.

"Yes, honey? I've got to go back to the office for a bit tonight," she called, pulling out a coat from the closet, "Is something wrong?" She patted the seat next to her, gesturing for Terry to sit down. Terry walked over and plopped squarely on the ground, eyes never leaving the floor.

"I was just wondering why, y'know, you've been more interested in Batman than usual, recently." He thanked every deity he knew for having the composure not to end up blathering nonsense at that moment.

"Well, you know..." She blushed a few shades pinker; Terry blanched a few shades whiter. "I... well, I've been wanting a chance at having someone in my life again recently." Terry vaguely wondered if it was possible that he ingested some part of Inque at some point, which was only now starting to wriggle violently in his stomach.

"But, uh, Batman? Isn't that a little, ah, silly?" He somehow managed to force an almost smirking smile; it seemed being Batman pays off in spades when it comes to keeping at least part of one's brain level-headed.

"Yes, of course. It's just like a little girl and her knight in shining armor. It'll never happen, but..." The dreamy tones, light blush, faraway gaze, and slight ruffling of his hair combined to make Terry reel with a wave of nausea. Nothing – nothing – had ever made him so uneasy.

"Ah, yeah. A knight in shining armor. Ahaha...." he laughed weakly, feeling as though he was about to throw up, scream, cry, or all three. He settled for vacant stare. "I've... I've got to go do some homework. Maybe I'll even get to turn in early." And, he added in his mind, not touch the Batsuit for the night. He prayed that for one day, the universe would give him a break.

Of course, he was Terrence McGinnis. The universe invariably hated him, or so it seemed to him when he was alerted of a break-in by Jokerz at Astrotech.

"It would be there. Of course. Just my luck," he grumbled as he flew towards the building, hoping against hope a certain someone had already left.

"Worried for your mother?" Bruce's voice came through the comm.

"Yeah, that too." Batman had no doubts he could handle the Jokerz; the gang members were easy fare by now. No, the Tomorrow Knight was scared of his mom.

Sure enough, he wiped the floor with the Jokerz. Fate delivered the punchline in their stead, and he found himself carrying a fainted over but otherwise unhurt Mary McGinnis out of the building, where, of course, she promptly woke in his arms.

"Oh...Oh! Batman!"

Oh...oh YUCK, Terry replied in his head as he felt her arm envelop him in a very NOT maternal embrace. This...oh god. Oh GOD. Slag it. SLAG IT. GOD. WHAT THE HELL. At the moment, though, he was Batman, and Batman, not fazed as easily as the young man who donned the suit, lukewarmly returned the hug while Terry crumpled into the fetal position in a corner of his mind. "Good to see you're safe, ma'am," Batman said consolingly in Terry's absence.

"Thank you. Very, very much," Mary murmured into the crook of Batman's neck, "I know it's ridiculous, and I'll never think anything of it again, but..." Abruptly, before either Terry or Batman could respond, she cupped his face...

And placed a gentle kiss on his lips through the cowl.

Smiling shyly, she walked away.

Terry's lungs burned for his lack of breathing.

"D...did she just kiss you?" Bruce asked, even his cool baritone a few pitches higher and very much disturbed.

"Mmghk!" Terry half-choked, half-sobbed his response.

The Bat Family is known throughout the superhero community for mental trauma cases more drastic than even most other superheroes, but this – this had even the nigh unflappable Bruce Wayne shocked and deeply pitying its newest member.

A/N: AHAHAWUT. Explanation – I've stumbled on the Batman Beyond comics, so I've been reading them. In Issue 24, Mary McGinnis goes out with a splicer and gets rescued by Batman, where she then has dialogue like "Oh... I... Batman!" (said while Terry catches her),"Still, it's... You're a good man, Batman. A good man," (said while crying) and "Yes, and so young!" (after Terry asked if she thought Batman was schway). Coupled with how she's all looking for the right man to be a role model for her kids, it... totally gave my insomniac mind the wrong idea. OH SLAG IT. Ugh. I feel a bit sick now.

I have officially sunk to a new low. This pairing gives Bruce/Terry a run for its money...