Title: The Natural Conclusion
Universe: Reborn (TYL)
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: Vongola (vaguely suggested RyoheixHibari)
Warnings/Spoilers: random TYL details that probably don't matter. OOC and crack.
Word Count: 1,230
Summary: Because activation-plus-propagation can only equal one thing.
Dedication: sw-inku's late birthday fic! Ahaha I don't even know if you are still in this fandom. I FAIL.
A/N: I don't know. LOL I tried okay. I LOVE YOU STEVIE. ;_;
Disclaimer: No harm is meant by this!

Hibari, Tsuna thinks, is acting weird.

Weirder than usual for Hibari anyway, and though he isn't sure why, Tsuna thinks it has something to do with Ryohei's sudden return from Italy at the beginning of the week, and— more specifically— with that bottle of wine the Sun Guardian had brought back with him and wouldn't let anyone else get near enough to touch. It's all a bit fuzzy in Tsuna's memory because he may or may not have been a little inebriated at the time, but Tsuna remembers that it had been a large, completely black bottle, elegant and mysterious in a way that made Tsuna's instincts suggest that maybe he ought not to touch it. Which had proven to be good intuition after all, because when Gokudera had unknowingly moved to crack open the bottle upon seeing it, Ryohei had ended up punching the Storm Guardian in the face.

"That bottle is special!" Ryohei had declared passionately, both fists raised. "I need to make that shitty Cloud bastard drink it before I leave!"

"Goddammit, Lawn Head!" Gokudera had complained, clutching his bleeding nose, "Just say so next time. Why the hell do you have to go around punching people in the face all the time? It's not like this shit is made of gold, you know!"

"It's still special!" Ryohei repeated, and oddly enough, had gotten Kusakabe to agree with him.

From there, Tsuna had hastened to open a different bottle of wine to commemorate Ryohei's unexpected return, just so that there would be no more punching-of-each-other-in-the-face.

From there they drank and chatted, and towards the end of the evening, when Reborn's foot had been digging into Tsuna's ribs because he was still a pathetic lightweight when it came to alcohol even after all these years, Ryohei had mysteriously disappeared, taking that suspicious bottle of wine with him.

It was, Tsuna suspects, in order to get Hibari to finally drink with him.

But that had been days ago, and even if Ryohei had been successful in his endeavor (which is unlikely), Tsuna doesn't think that there is such a thing as a hangover that lasts for an entire business week.

Yet here they are, and Hibari is acting kind of weird. And looking kind of weird too from what Tsuna can see, the Cloud Guardian all rosy-cheeked and with his eyes half open in a dreamy sort of way as he drifts down the hallway.

Also, Tsuna is pretty certain that this is the first time he has actually seen Hibari entering the base's pharmaceutical clinic of his own volition, which somehow seems notable to him though he isn't quite sure why.

When he sees Kusakabe faithfully waiting outside of the pharmacy's doors for Hibari to finish whatever it is he's doing inside, the young tenth boss can't help but ask. "Kusakabe-san…is…is everything okay?" he asks, brow furrowed with worry. "Niisan didn't make Hibari-san sick by forcing him to drink, did he?"

Kusakabe looks guilty and fidgets a little, before sighing. He looks around to make sure no one is eavesdropping before bending a little closer to Tsuna and whispering, "Actually, "I asked Sasagawa-san to bring that wine back." He sounds guilty when he admits it.

Tsuna's eyes widen. "So…"

"It's medicinal," Kusakabe insists, turning slightly red with embarrassment. "I was only thinking about his health. This sort of thing doesn't happen often, you know." Frown. "Someone like Hibari-san isn't supposed to get like this."

Tsuna blinks. Nods dumbly. "Ahaha…I see," he murmurs. "Um, I just…I need to go train now."

He practically runs down the hall.

"I think Hibari is pregnant!" Yamamoto chuckles a day or two later, when they are eating breakfast.

Tsuna sprays a mouthful of milk all over Lambo.

"What?!" he scoffs, eventually, while Lambo tells himself to endure and be strong.

Yamamoto continues eating his banana like nothing is out of the ordinary with his assessment at all. "I ran into Ryohei this morning in the hallway," the Rain Guardian explains calmly. "He was all beat up and when I asked him what the matter was, he said something about Hibari and a kid. So the logical thing is that they're having one, right?"

Silence.

Then, Kyoko beams. "Oh, a new baby? How nice! Maybe I should knit booties."

Tsuna sprays more milk on Lambo. Lambo cries.

"Are you sure he didn't say Hibari is just a kid?" Gokudera begins, after a moment of thinking about it. "Maybe you misunderstood because he was all beat up."

Yamamoto chuckles. "I don't think that was it. I'm pretty sure he said they're having a kid. I mean, it makes sense, right? All things considered."

Gokudera removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. "That isn't even possible!"

"Sure it is," Yamamoto replies, undaunted.

"How did you even graduate high school?!" Gokudera demands.

Yamamoto laughs. "I was third in our class, remember?"

Gokudera looks like he wants to say, "That is not what I meant when I said that," but realizes that it is probably pointless in the face of Yamamoto's endless tranquility. So he sighs instead, and asks, "How, exactly, is something like that possible?"

Yamamoto points to the ring on his finger. "These! They can do some really amazing things, right?"

More silence. Probably because no one really understands what he is getting at.

Gokudera slams a palm into his forehead when he gets it first, because he graduated top of their class. "Just because Hibari's flame characteristic is propagation doesn't mean he can just get pregnant. He's still a guy you know."

Yamamoto looks undaunted. "But if you put it together with Ryohei's activation properties then it would be like actively trying to propagate, wouldn't it? Which is why the baby must be Ryohei's."

Tsuna is very, very confused.

Gokudera looks like he wants to argue.

Opens his mouth.

Closes it again.

Scratches his head.

Yamamoto seems pleased. "I mean, we've seen these rings do weirder before, right?"

Gokudera groans. "This shouldn't make as much sense as you're making it make!" he screams, and sulks back in his chair looking like he's thinking very hard about something.

"Oi," he manages eventually, "do you think that's what that black bottle of wine was?" He looks horrified. "Maybe he slipped Hibari a roofie and did weird things with him. He was acting pretty suspicious about it. He even punched me in the nose."

"Medicine," Tsuna blurts suddenly, when he remembers that weird encounter with Kusakabe in the hallways outside of the infirmary two days ago. "That was special medicine. For something…that doesn't happen often."

Everyone stops eating.

"Oh god maybe he is pregnant," Tsuna murmurs, sounding slightly dead inside when he does. He slumps onto the table.

The others look just as lost.

"Do you think I should knit yellow or purple booties?" Kyoko asks as she walks by again with the frying pan. She cheerfully refills the plate of pancakes and asks if anyone wants any more milk.

"Not hungry anymore," they all say after a second, all at the same time.

In the meantime, a slightly tired looking Hibari takes another box of nasal decongestant out of the infirmary's cabinet for his cold and wonders how long it is going to be until Sasagawa Ryohei is sent back to Europe.

He hopes the idiot takes his stupid antioxidant garbage wine with him.

END